


A Song of Grumbling & Cotton Candy

by LadyofHarrenhal



Category: Jem and the Holograms, Jem and the Holograms (Comics)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-19 04:52:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 87,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7345693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofHarrenhal/pseuds/LadyofHarrenhal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in an alternate universe (consisting of merged elements from the cartoon and the comic), months after the show's finale Pizzazz finds herself creatively drained and wandering, until one drunk-go at crashing a charity auction forces her to spend some quality time with her biggest enemy: Jem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Opening Bids

Pizzazz's limo screeched to a hault when she finally recognized the building. She'd spent the last half hour trying to remember the directions she'd been given repeatedly over the last 24 hours, but frankly ended up only finding the place by following other limo's and looking for a crowd. Still, it was better to be almost late than too late.

_And just how loud do I have to scream to make someone ignore a red light, anyway? I should only have to say once, 'GO!' and that's it._

She resisted the urge to swear at her driver for almost making her late, but instead slammed the door shut behind her and made her way to the crowd. She'd been planning for this charity event for so long, it wasn't going to be ruined by anyone else's screw-ups.

Looking ahead she saw a familiar face at the start of the queue to get into the gala. He threw his hands into the air, trying to signal her down, shouting to her for attention, only to get pushed aside as she began cutting ahead of everyone else that was too spineless to do anything but wait around. That always -did- sum up Eric, utterly spineless.

“And what are you going to do when they bid on you, exactly?! Did you think about that at all?! Pizzazz, please, stop! ”

Eric Raymond's voice came from -somewhere- behind her as she pushed her way through a crowd of well-dressed gentlemen. He'd become lost in a sea of fourty-and-up socialites and philanthropists after taking an elbow to the nose, and it was getting harder and harder to make out his objections over the posh cries of “Oh well excuse me” “Well I never” and “by Jove!”.

_I have all this planned out as much as I need to, Eric. Gonna show little miss perfect up at her own charity._

“Pizzazz, you-” Traffic noises, muttering, pompous guffaws, and footsteps were all that came out as Eric tried to grab hold of her arm through the mob, “-the letter. You have to listen-” The slamming of the glass door behind her. And with that, Pizzazz was home free.

It'd been three weeks since she'd heard about the bachelorette auction. Several prominent single women were auctioning themselves off for a date for various charities. She'd tuned out most of the details when Eric was talking about it then, until she hard 'Starlight Homes.' Immediately her attention had been piqued, and she knew she had to crash the event, somehow.

_But how? Oh, oh. We rush the stage, we perform a song about how stupid charity is. Blow everyone out of the water. Chaos everywhere. Crying babies._

Then Stormer got sick. She just had to get the flu, just a few days before all of this went down. But it didn't matter, Pizzazz had a plan. Pizzazz always had a plan, she knew she could think on her feet.

_I'll... ...think of something. Something amazing. Something outrageous._

Her dad had nagged her a few days before not to make a scene, how he knew many of the old fogies that would be at the auction and her actions would reflect on him and his business ventures. He'd probably said other things, maybe even to just stay put, but Pizzazz hadn't caught any of that. Her mind had been elsewhere, it always was. In and out of daydreams of fame and fortune, and the chaos she wanted to bring. Thoughts like ' _How far could I fling that big dumb office chair of his out the window? If I tried hard enough could it clear the street?'_

And now was the moment of truth. What was the plan? Something concrete, surely. The most well thought out plan she could muster.

_I'll just... I'll have them bid more on me than her. And she'll feel ashamed, because she's worth less than I am. Yeah. Yeah! That'll show her. Little miss goodie two shoes and her orphans can't beat out me and the me-charity. All of that money too..._

It was as good a plan as any, at least. She didn't have time to pick out a special outfit for the occasion and ended up dashing to her limo in her usual black and white getup, with Eric trying to scream something at her as she got in. How he'd manage to catch up in his clunker of a car was beyond her, but then she'd caught him in the crowd outside.

_Why does he even care? Is it because he didn't have a say in this plan? Worried I can function without him?_

The dining hall was big and dark, with the only lighting being on top of each of the little round tables and above the stage at the opposite end of the room. Boring brown and red tiled carpeting everywhere, and the green felt made each table look like a four person poker pit, all filled by stuffy-looking guys in tuxedos. The stage itself was mostly hidden behind a big red curtain, with only yet another stuffy-looking tuxedo-wearing older man standing off to the side with a podium.

Pizzazz pushed and shoved her way between the tables to the stage and climbed up the side, ignoring or completely missing the stairs before grabbing and hunching over the podium and leering at the bespectacled little man at the microphone.

“Gabor, Pizzazz. Star of this show. Where do you want me, twerp?”

The man gulped and looked down, puzzled. He shuffled through his papers, muttering indecipherably

“You are... you aren't on the list, I-”

“What do you mean I'm not on the list!? I signed up weeks ago! I'm the HEADLINING STAR HERE! Just who do you think you are!?”

“I... oh. Gabor. Phyllis I....”

Before he could finish Pizzazz slammed her fist down on his podium top hard enough to cause the microphone to bounce and topple over. “Pizzazz. Get it right. P. I. Z. Z-”

“I'm sorry. Ms.... ...Pizzazz. I just... you didn't fill out your form correctly, so we sent it back with a letter informing you that you could only participate if you chose a valid charity. We spoke to a Mr. Raymond about it and he said that he would talk to y-”

_The bastard. Why didn't he tell me!? Making me look stupid, making me look-_

“What do you mean a valid charity? I wrote a perfectly valid charity!”

“Under charity you just wrote 'Me.' I'm sorry, Ms. Gabor, but even if your father wasn't worth over-”

Pizzazz grunted loudly and banged her fist down onto the podium again, this time causing the mic to just roll merrily off and onto the floor, hard. That time she caught it, she heard that loud thump echo all across the room. His mic had been on, for the whole humiliating ordeal.

“So what the HELL do you want me to do now, then!? What am I supposed to do!? Just let that prissy Jem show me up? Just sit here and watch this boring ass show!?”

She leaned even more across the podium, nearing the now near-cowering man's face, her breath fogging up his glasses as he gulped.

“Y-y-y-” He stammered, then tried to clear his throat. “Y-... you may stay. We... we have a dinner planned with the event. You'll... we'll comp you... as apologies. Please... please don't hurt me.”

_Oh but I want to, oh but I so badly want to._

Grumbling loudly, Pizzazz resisted the urge to push the podium over and crush him like the cockroach he was, and instead stomped her way over to a table in the front row that only had a single old man sitting at it.

“You. Move. This is mine now, find your own.” She said coolly but angrily, yanking his chair out from under him and plopping down on it instead. Then gestured for someone, anyone, to come and take an order. This night was going to need booze, and plenty of it.

_Little miss perfect... this was all your fault, somehow. You and Eric. And Stormer. And daddy. All of them._

 

 

Ten minutes, two martinis, and one shot of scotch had passed before the show had started. Pizzazz was slumped over the back of her chair, facing the center of the stage so she could boo and hiss at everyone that walked on. She was already out here, she wasn't paying for any of this, and she wasn't about to miss an opportunity to at least get some entertainment out of this.

“THERE you are.” The happy buzz she'd been experiencing was cut by the ever-so obnoxious authoritative tone of Eric Raymond, yet again. “Did you tell them I was stalking you!? I had to fight with a guard to get in here. I had to call just to get someone to verify who I am!”

She snorted. The truth was actually that she'd said to a guard outside that he had tried to beckon her into the alley earlier and she was feeling frightened. Anything to give her a head-start so she'd get on stage and he couldn't nag her anymore about why she should go with one of -his- plans instead of hers.

“Look, you can't be here. We've been on rumor control this week, and this is the absolute last place you need to be. Why the hell are you even here? Don't you notice that it's nothing but -men-?”

Pizzazz sneered. “Yeah so what? It's a free country. They try to do anything I'll kick their asses, just like I'll kick yours.”

“That's... that's not what I mean. Pizzazz. Don't you think that maybe after your little scandal with that night club last week that the last place you should be is bidding on a bunch of single women?”

“I had a blast last week, and I don't care about whatever you're talking about. And I'm not bidding! I was going to be bid on! But they won't let me... and it's all your fault..” She began to trail off, the drinking catching back up to her.

The previous week she'd gotten chewed out for some reason or another for being photographed in some night club downtown. She wasn't entirely sure where, she'd moved from bar to club to bar to club all night that night after being stuck inside for a few days. Her dad had yelled, something about how she would tarnish the Gabor name, then Raymond had yelled about how people would boycott Misfits records and she'd never be able to tour in America again. At this point, she didn't care. After the previous year full of world-touring and dealing with the whole Riot mess, she was getting burned out on the business side of things and was getting even more burned out on people trying to tell her what to do. She'd gone solo before, she could do it again.

“Besides, I get drunk in plenty of clubs and it's never hurt my rep yet. It's my _image_ , Eric.”

Eric pinched the bridge of his nose tight and lowered his head, grumbling as he maneuvered to sit opposite her at the alcohol-soiled puke-green felt tabletop. “You just... You don't get it do you, Pizzazz? That wasn't just any club. You can't just stumble drunkenly into a gay club and not have people start talking.” His voice lowered into an angry yet concerned whisper.

“So what if it was a gay club? The others weren't Drinks are drinks. Nobody thinks I'm a gay. You maybe. Always hanging out with that one loser. The one that doesn't like girls touchin' him.”

He flushed, then grimaced. “I... ...Even if I was, Techrat is far from my type. I've had wives! Two! Took everything I had. I... look. Please, just... collect yourself, let's get out of here. You can be drunk at home. The hell do you even mean to ge-”

Before he could finish, there she was. Jem was center stage and the cowardly man at the podium began to speak.

“Next up we have the lovely Ms. Jem. She's the front woman for the new wave musical group The Holograms, with multiple charting songs under her belt. She is representing Ms. Jerrica Benton's Starlight Homes, an organization that helps out orphaned children right here in California. Shall we start the bidding at $5,000?”

Pizzazz's booing was quickly drowned out by shouts of “5,000!” “5,500!” “6,000!” Men were standing up, shouting over one another. None of the other bachelorettes had gotten quite this attention.

_And it's all hers... none of it for me. Spotlight's all hers. And what do I have? Second rate booze and a used car salesman in producer's clothing. ….no... no, no, no. Not having it._

“$10 GRAND! Pinkie's mine!”

Eric Raymond's eyes nearly popped out of his socket. He slammed both palms onto the table and stood up. He didn't hear Pizzazz right.

“I... ...well this is... this is a turn of events... I have. I have $10,000 from Ms. Gabor in the front. Does... ….do I hear $10,500?”

Eric grabbed her arm and shook her. “Pizzazz what are you doing!? You're killing your career! Do you know how this looks!?”

“Shut up, dingus. I'll have her, and I'll make her do my bidding. I get the attention, and she has to be my slave for a night. I know what I'm doing! I ALWAYS KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! $10,500!”

The auctioneer made confused noises into the mic, before finally saying “I... I hear $10,500... again from Ms. Gabor. Does... does anyone besides Ms. Gabor want to bid?”

The room went silent. Jem stood there, as confused as everyone else. She'd raised her hand to block the stage-lights to try to get a glimpse at the drunken mess that was shouting to her a few feet from the stage.

“Going... going... and gone. Ms. Jem. That's ten-thousand five-hundred raised for Starlight, thanks to a... more than charitable... thank you.” He ran out of things to say, opting to instead wipe the sweat from his forehead and gesture for Jem to leave the stage so the next bachelorette could walk out.

Low, muttered cursing started popping in and out near Pizzazz, spaced out with table banging and cries of “why me, why me...” What a baby. Eric couldn't stand not being in control. Always has to be the brains of an operation.

“I know what I'm doing. Loser. It's all a prank. A great prank. And she's the ass of it. I know what I'm doin'.”

“No, Pizzazz. No, you don't. Even if it is a prank. You know how I know? Because I've had to clean up after all your 'pranks'. Arson? Not a prank. Attempted murder? Not a prank. Blowing up buildings? Surprisingly, not a prank. I don't think anyone ever sat down and told you what a prank -is-, Pizzazz. You can't just run up to someone, smack them with a baseball bat, and then squeal 'ha ha, fooled you.' Do you know how many times you've nearly gone to prison? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep you out!?”

She heard all that. Every word of that one actually got through. The buzz was gone again, and everything else went quiet as she was left to think on her past actions.

_I've... I know what I'm doing, right? This is going great. Eric's just an asshole. He's never known what he's talking about, that's why he depends on me. I keep him afloat. I'm -his- life preserver, not the other way around._

“Look.... I don't think you're gay. Honestly, I know you're not gay. You know why? Because that would imply you're capable of caring for someone besides yourself, which you aren't. Right now you're barely even taking care of yourself, because I guarantee you those flashes all over this room were catching you, right now, a week after your little gay scandal, bidding on a woman you've followed around the world for the last three years. For a date. Do you know what that sound is?” Eric paused, staring her dead in the eyes, waiting for any response. Not getting one, he continued, “That's the sound of your record sales plummeting. That's the sound of the south and mid-west dropping any future tour plans you have in those regions. That's the sound of television personalities dragging your name through the mud. My name through the mud. Your father's name through the mud. That's the sound of your fortune, my fortune, and his fortune going right down the toilet.”

Pizzazz quickly sobered up. This, this was why she was drinking tonight. And the night before, and the night before that, and the week before that. That's all she was hearing anymore. How she'd almost killed The Misfits last year, how she wasn't doing her share of the work anymore, how all she did was cause drama and that it wasn't helping anyone anymore.

“I know... what I'm doing. Eric. And I'll show you. I'll show you just how wrong you are.”

 

 

Pizzazz stood up and walked around the side of the room, going up a small set of stairs to get onto the stage and slip behind the curtain, away from him and anyone else that would question her.

_This is going to go right, this is going MY way. And when it goes my way, they'll all stop questioning me for once. I am going to call the shots. ME!_

She shoved her way past two guards and a few of the already-auctioned bachelorettes, catching Rio and Jerrica near the opposite end of the back. She stood on her toes, looking around to see where her prize was, but couldn't find anything. Sighing, she went back to shoving her way through the rest of the ladies between her and enemy numero uno: Ms. Jerrica Benton.

“Look, Pizzazz, I don't know what you're-” Rio started, before Jerrica put her hand in front of him to stop him.

“No, Rio. Look, I'll deal with this. We'll just... we'll have to raise the money some other way, alright? Just let her go, I'm not dealing with a fight tonight.”

Rio started to say something else, but just threw his hands up left through the back exit. Jerrica sighed angrily and turned away, reaching for a payphone behind her.

_That's right, you go away. Grape colored doofus. Mind your own business, I'll manage my business just fine._

“Well, you had your laugh, alright? Just... go ahead and leave. I know you're just going to say something mean to me, laugh, and then leave. I know we're not going to see a dime of that, so just-” A long pink nail suddenly pressed to Jerrica's lips, as Pizzazz angrily hissed and started digging through her purse.

It took moments, however many. A long, awkward silence as Pizzazz yanked out a checkbook with her freehand and, while still keeping a finger to Jerrica's lips, attempted to sign the checkbook with the very same freehand. Pressing it to the wall next to the payphone, sloppily jotting down some a signature.

“I don't remember what I bid. You write it down, and you take it. Alright? Now where's ms goody goody? Where's my fucking date.” Pizzazz shoved the checkbook angrily into Jerrica's chest, then pulled her other hand away, putting both to her hips and scrunching her face into something that almost resembled a scowl but seemed, to Jerrica, to be more upset than angry.

Jerrica peeked into the checkbook that had been so roughly forced on her, verifying that she did indeed now have a check for 'Starlight orphans' from 'Phyllis Gabor.' “Is this... you're kidding, right? Why are you doing this?”

“I do what I want. Now, take your check. Write the numbers. I'm... guh.”

“Drunk?” Jerrica softened, sniffing at the air.

“A little bit.” Pizzazz admitted, stumbling a little bit. “I'm fine. I've got a limo. I just... what do I do now? Hows this work. You better not try to cheat me out of this.”

Jerrica's eyebrow raised. “Cheat you out of -what-, exactly? ...Your... prize you said? You know what you were bidding on, right?”

“A date. Jem. I'm going to date the fuck out of Jem. And it's going to be amazing, and people stop questioning everything I do. You included. You and your purple-haired brown-nosing goon. Where's the pink one gone off to?”

Jerrica just stood there, trying to think all of this through, her brow furrowing. Words just weren't coming through, and she found herself just making confused gestures towards the exit.

_She's trying to weasel out of this, isn't she? First Stormer then Eric now even little prissy miss Benton has to shit all over my plans._

“What, did she leave? The hell do I do now? Is she going to meet me? Do I meet her? Because I swear if you guys try to cheat me on this I'll-”

Jerrica's eyes bugged and she quickly went to try to calm Pizzazz down. The last thing the charity auction needed was a big drunk ruckus. She knew these people, these were good people supporting noble causes.

“Look, we're not cheating you. Just, neither of us thought you were actually bidding. Look, just...” Jerrica took a deep breath, then put a hand on Pizzazz's shoulder. “Just, come to Starlight Mansion tomorrow, alright? She'll be ready, let's say-”

“Five. I wanna go at five. Have her be ready then. And tell her to dress nice.” Pizzazz pushed Jerrica's hand away and started towards the back exit. “You tell her to leave her purse at home. I'm gonna give her a date she'll -never- forget. Because I'm a Misfit. Everything I do is better.” And with that, she jerked open the door and ducked out into the night.

 

 

_I can do this... I can date. I've dated. Right? I think._

It was cold and loud as she tried to make her way back around the building to her limo. Eric was there, leaning against hood impatiently. He started toward her, then quickly made his way around and into the side door to make sure she didn't take off without him. Sighing, she opened her own door and slid in.

“So, what did you do? What the hell are you even doing now, Pizzazz?”

_I'm doing what I intended. I'm doing what I want, when I want, and how I want it. So you can stick that up your fat-_

“I'm going to pick up Jem tomorrow evening, and I'm going to show her a time she'll -never- forget.”

Eric grimaced. “Look, I give up on convincing you to back out of this, so just... let me help. I just want to maintain this. I'm all for making Jem look horrible, you just... I don't want to have to pay anyone off again. The budget I get from your dad to keep you clean is running low. I called Techrat, he's coming over tomorrow. We'll work something out, alright? Just... god how much did you even drink? No, no. Don't answer that. I don't want to know.”

_He's still talking, why won't he stop talking? All I want anymore is someone that knows when to shut up. Hell maybe I should be gay. Jerrica sure knew when to shut up._

Pizzazz's eyes shot up, catching her thoughts.

_I... not that I am. I'm straight. I've liked guys. I tried to seduce Riot away from Jem. I think I even made a pass at Rio once. And then there was... ...God maybe I haven't dated. Stormer. That's whose help I need. She better fucking make it up to me, her flu is why this is even happening._

“I do need help. ...But not yours. You, out. I need to go see Stormer. Driver! STORMER. Let this turd out first.”

Eric didn't budge, opening his mouth to protest. Pizzazz wasn't having any of that, though. With a deep breath and a few seconds to compose herself she reached over, jerked open his door, shoved him out, and slammed it shut behind him.

“DRIVE! Stormer's apartment! Go! Moosh!”

_If -anyone- knows the softer, lamer side of things, it's Stormer. She'll help me prove him wrong. I do everything better. -I'm- not the problem, damn it._

Eric shouted and pounded on roof as the limo took off without him, leaving him alone in the street. He would try to get to his car to catch up to her and try to take control of the situation, or worse he'd go right to her dad, but Pizzazz had prepared for that. As the driver picked up speed, she giggled to herself and lightly juggled a set of keys in her hands.

_I -always- know what I'm doing, Eric. You need to learn to stop questioning it._

 


	2. In the Hall of the Mountain Dork

“Wakey-wakey, eggs and toast-y!” A soft yet still loud voice echoed around Pizzazz's skull, shattering at her brain until she started to twitch awake. “I don't have bacon, I'm sorry. I don't have anything that rhymes with wakey.”

“Toaster-cakey. You have toaster cakes.” Another voice butted in.

Pizzazz's eyes slid open a bit, trying to analyze her surroundings. Too much white, that's all she recognized. Far too much white, and far too much light.

“I'm not giving her toaster-cakes. You don't give anyone sweet things after a hangover. You give them hot things.”

“Toaster-cakes ARE hot! And you put jelly on the toast, that's sweet.”

She wasn't sure she recognized either voice at this point, but everything was too loud to be sure. She tried to sit up, but just couldn't find it in her, and instead tried to form the words “lights off mouth shut.”

“Is she whimpering? Is she okay?”

“I'm not sure. Like I said, she just kinda started pounding on my door last night. Said some angry things, made a mess of my fridge, then passed out here on my bed. I had to sleep on the couch...”

“Aww, you poor thing... Is she usually like this?”

Pizzazz grumbled, they weren't shutting up. “One. Of. You. Lights. Now. Hurt. You.”

There was silence for a moment, then footsteps, and then finally mercifully, the lights were dimmed and Pizzazz could see shapes again.

She tried once more to lift herself, but felt too weak and achy, so instead tried moving her head around to see just where she was and who the hell was tormenting her.

The room was horrible. Posters of puppies, unicorns, sunflowers. Pinned photos of smiling people everywhere. Flowers in vases, stuffed animals, and two large fuzzy blobs hovering over here; one red and one blue.

“Pizzazz? Are you okay? Eric called earlier, told me what happened and that I was supposed to keep an eye on you till 5, but it's already like 3 and-” The blue blob continued talking as Pizzazz shut her eyes again.

_Fuck. It wasn't a dream. What the hell am I doing. What was my plan here._

“-so I called Kimber over. We've... well, we've been close for awhile. And, we just want to say. We support you. We're in the same boat, you know? I'm sad you never came out to me, but I just want you to know I'm here for you. She's here for you.”

“If this isn't some kind of prank.”

“I've known her for years, this isn't her kind of prank. That time she replaced my shampoo with hair removal cream, that was a prank.”

Slowly the blobs took form. Stormer was sitting on the bed and leaning over her, dressed in a baby blue pajama set covered in kitty faces. The other...

“Kimber.” Pizzazz's eyes narrowed. She tried to growl the name out, but her throat was dry and her voice only came out broken and squeaky. “What are -you- doing here? Where the hell am I?”

Stormer and Kimber exchanged confused glances.

“We just... we just said, Pizzazz. Five seconds ago. Are you alright?”

It was far too early in the day for this.

“I just... I needed advice.” With several grunts and wiggles, Pizzazz finally found the energy to slowly lift herself out of bed. She was still in her dress from last night, heels and all, one of which felt like it had gotten caught in a hole in the mattress.

“And that's why we're here. I know this has to be a frightening situation for it. It certainly was for me. But I mean, at least I had Kimber there with me... I mean you don't. ...I guess I'm just surprised. Jem?” Stormer adjusted the pillows around Pizzazz to help prop her up, then looked over to Kimber. “I mean not that there's anything wrong with Jem. I mean, honestly, this explains a lot in retrospect. I feel bad for never noticing.”

Her surroundings were at least making sense now, even if Stormer's rambling wasn't. She remembered how she got there now. Right from the auction she'd come to Stormer's apartment complex for advice, only she hadn't remembered which number was actually Stormer's. She spent an hour pounding on various doors that night until finally coming to the one she wanted, and by that point all she wanted to do was sleep.

_At least I found the right one... fuck what time is it?_

“I just want to know your intentions are... I can't say honorable with a straight face, Pizzazz. I just want to know you aren't going to set my bandmate on fire, or use this as some sort of blackmail, or-”

“She isn't like that anymore, Kimber. Honest. I don't think she's had the drive to do anything like that in months. Seemed like it dried up when we stopped getting together to write new music...”

Pizzazz fumbled around at the table next to the bed, feeling out a long hot rectangular box and pulling it up to her face to read it. “3:15” scorched into her bloodshot eyes in big bright green text.

“FUCK! No! I've got... fuck. I'm going to be late. I didn't plan. I need to, where to, I need to-”

“Calm down, everything's fine. We told Jem that you didn't seem in a good shape and she said she'd take a raincheck if you-” Stormer was interrupted by an alarm clock flying by, just narrowly missing her head, and breaking against the wall a few feet behind her.

“No. No rainchecks. I'm fine. You tell little miss perfect to get her ass ready, because I'm not waiting up. I will drag her out if I need to.” Pizzazz shot up out of bed, suddenly feeling rejuvenated, anger-powered. She slammed the bedroom door closed to eye herself up and down in Stormer's now-cracked mirror.

Kimber shot Stormer a worried look, and Stormer moved in towards Pizzazz slowly as if to not startle her. “We'll tell her, just... You said you wanted advice? I mean we're here to help, Pizz. I mean I don't have much here, but I know I have a few of your things around here from the last time you... ...slept over.”

_Have I been here before? And why the hell is Kimber here? Since when have these two been all buddy-buddy?_

“I just. I'm fine. I just wasn't sure where to go. I've dated, I've dated plenty of people. Just, cool people. I don't know what to do for a loser. A girl loser. And if I knew any girl losers I could ask, it'd be you.” Pizzazz smirked into the mirror, then turned and made her way to pilfer through Stormer's closet.

Kimber opened her mouth and seemed ready to angrily protest, but Stormer quickly put her arms around her to stop her. “No, no, it's... she doesn't mean offense. It's just. Her being her. I'm fine.”

“I don't trust you, and frankly I still don't like you.” Kimber took a deep breath. “But my girlfriend does, and that's enough for me. I trust her, she trusts you. So... what, what do you want to know?”

_Girlfriend? Oh, they're that close now are they. Actually calling each other girlfriends. Traitor. Befriending the enemy, Stormer. Befriending the fucking enemy._

“Just because you two are buddy-buddy now doesn't mean you'll ever be my friend, red. Just tell me what you loser singer likes to do, or eat. She does eat like the rest of us, right? Certainly never see her eating with the rest of you.” Absolutely nothing in the closet was appealing. Stormer's aesthetic had always been too mellow for Pizzazz's taste, like someone watered down her own. Some of these dresses reminder her of things she'd worn months ago, only uglier.

Stormer and Kimber gave each other confused looks. Pizzazz heard whispering between the two, something about “Is she not getting this”, but she paid it no mind. What was important was getting ready and forming a battle plan.

“So, we didn't misunderstand then. I just wanted to be sure. I just, we've been at each others' throats for a few years now, you have to forgive me if I'm taken off guard by your sudden... well. Closet-vacating.”

“Nothing in here FITS. The hell are your hips, Stormer?!” Pizzazz shouted angrily, tearing at a dress that almost seemed like it'd be good but was meant for someone with more curves than Pizzazz ever had. “Organize your closet better, and you won't have to worry.”

_If she really wants to emulate me this badly, she should at least have the decency to not try to show me up. I've got better legs than she'll ever have, at least. Better legs than any of them._

“That's... Pizzazz. I'm not sure you're getting what we're saying.” Kimber came over and put her hand on Pizzazz's back, startling her. 

Pizzazz spun around. “Don't you touch me. I'm busy. What are you even doing here? This is Stormer's room. Nobody else comes in here.”

Kimber's expression shifted from fear to amusement, and she had to hold back a laugh. Pizzazz just looked confused.

“What's so funny?”

Stormer was laughing too. She was out of the loop on something, and she didn't like it. She never liked anyone keeping secrets from her, and this was going to end.

“You two. Now. Tell me. What the hell is going on here? Since when are you two friendly? And why the hell do you care so much what I'm doing? Tell me now or I swear to god I'll-”

Stormer sighed and stepped over to Kimber, putting her arm around her. “Pizzazz, we've been trying to tell you... honestly I'd tried to tell you last week, when Clash and I had our talk about what happened last week... I mean you were there. -I'm- gay too. I've actually been seeing Kimber for the last... six months this tuesday. Remember?”

“Mazel tov.” Pizzazz grumbled, barely putting together the information she was being given.

_Wait, too?_

“We just... I thought you'd like the support, so I called Kimber to come over. I know that this has to be hard for you, but we felt that if you knew you had other people you could come to on matters like this-”

_Oh. ….ohh. ….OH. Oh!_

“I'm... I'm not. What. No. You are? I'm.” Pizzazz's face swapped from anger to confusion to disgust, then back around and around again, shifting over and over. “Not that. It's fine. You two. Be gay. I'm not. I'm just trying to date a loser, alright?! Why is everyone... why are all of you people so judgey lately.” Pizzazz's voice broke at the end, she was flustered. None of this was going right, and she was running out of time. If she wasn't ready for the date on time, Jem would have the last laugh. And Eric. She'd get shown up, and this whole thing would be for nothing.

“Look, Pizzazz. You don't have to lie to us. If you don't want to label yourself it's fine, but denial isn't healthy. Nor is drinking until you pass out in other people's homes... homes that you're currently wrecking. Can you like, stop that, please? Just...” Kimber put both hands on Pizzazz's shoulders, trying to calm her down. “Carnival. Take her to the carnival. Jem likes carnivals. She likes fun, bright lights, colorful things, and being around kids. She'll eat anything that isn't too greasy, she likes sweets, and she doesn't drink except champagne at social events, and she doesn't like when guys get too forward. Alright?”

Pizzazz settled on a face of both disgust and confusion. Her lower lip curled up, her upper lip flared at one side, brow furrowed, eyes narrowed. She thought that if she could just hold this face long enough, everyone would stop talking and leave her be for now.

_I know what I'm doing. I know what's healthy. Healthy's boring. Healthy's for nerds. You nerds. I'm not a nerd. I'm the fucking queen here, you little piss ant pawn, getting in the way of my plans. Just because I'm gonna topple -your- queen. ...no. No, that doesn't sound right, I'm ….God damn it can't think straight._

“I think you broke her, sweetie. I haven't seen that face since we got audited.”

“Yeah, no. This is going to go fine. I'm sure Jem's type is 'alcoholics frozen in terror' with slept in makeup. Look, 'zazz, just call her, tell her you're running behind. She'll understand. Honestly I don't think she'd care.”

Pizzazz tried to hold the face, but found herself getting angry. So unreasonably angry at the words she'd just heard. Her fangs bared, her fists clenched, she leaned forward and began to yell in Kimber's face.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WON'T CARE!? Anyone would care! I've broken more hearts than you'll ever know, red! Straight or not I make all the ladies weep, not being able to date me. And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to date Jem so hard that she'll want more, and she'll never be able to get it!”

_That's it. That's the plan. I've got this now. Girl, you've got this._

“Fine, good, whatever. Win her a bear or something. I'm good at carnivals, and they're cheap. ...not that I can't afford better. I can afford better. She just doesn't deserve better. Do I.... do I bring a thing?”

Pizzazz fumbled at the air around her, making grabbing motions and darting her eyes across the room. Stormer and Kimber exchanged glances, but opted to stand back and let her do whatever she was going to do. If there was ever a lesson they had both learned well by now, it was not to mess with Pizzazz when she's riled up.

“These.” Pizzazz walked over to a dresser at the opposite end of the room from the closet, then jerked a few roses out of a dolphin-shaped glass vase, dripping everywhere and almost breaking both the vase and a few other glass critters that had surrounded it. “Do I give her these? Is that right? You don't give a guy flowers. ...Am I the guy in this situation? Is she the guy?”

Kimber tilted her head down and palmed it, while Stormer walked over and, laughing softly, put her hand against Pizzazz's back. “Nobody's a guy, Pizzazz. It... it doesn't need to be like that. You're Pizzazz. She's Jem. Do you want to give her a flower? There's not any rules you need to follow here, just do what's in your heart.”

Pizzazz spun around, knocking the dolphin vase onto the floor and slightly scratching at the tip of Stormer's nose with one of the rose's thorns. “Don't you get condescending with me! Heart what. I'm doing this -right-. People are going to talk about how damn well I did this, and how I'm a far more eligible bachelorette than Jem will ever be, and they'll never invite her to anything ever again!”

With a whimper, Stormer retreated back to Kimber's side. Kimber looked like she was ready to march over, but seemed to just sigh in defeat before going to hold Stormer close.

“Please, just... go. We'll call Jem, alright? Eric wanted us to keep an eye on you until it was time for the date but I don't think you're exactly going to be listen-”

Pizzazz yanked the door open and slammed it behind her, then marched her way out of the apartment, dripping roses in hand.

It took a few moments to realize that her limo wouldn't still be out here, having told the driver to scram the night before. With a sigh, she turned back around and pounded on the door of Stormer's apartment again, in need of a ride.

 

 

It was the longest, most awkward van ride of her life, but here she was. Starlight Mansion. Home to her most dreaded of enemies, and dozens of screaming brats.

Stormer had managed to convince her to eat some toast before leaving, but hadn't been able to talk her into changing out of her clothes, which by now were lightly stained by alcohol, flower water, and bits of jam. She'd been momentarily offended before Pizzazz sloppily clarified “It's not the gay thing. I'm not changing around anyone. Too many people in this house right now, and I'm almost late, and nothing you have looks good on me. Nothing.” She still seemed slightly hurt, but about as much as she had when the dolphin shattered into a hundred pieces.

This was the moment of truth. She stepped out of Stormer's Misfits van and marched up to the front door, clutching the bundle of roses that were now wrapped by a scarf that Stormer swore was “fine, I haven't worn it in a week, you do that. It's ok.”

_It was the least you could've done. Couldn't wake me up before noon, could you? Had to get me up just two hours before the date. I bet little miss perfect's been getting ready for hours. Just has to one up me._

She took a deep breath, gulped, and knocked at the large front door. _I've got this. Why am I worried? I've always got this. I know what I'm doing. I'm just going to shove these flowers down her throat and-_

The door opened and a young girl peeked her head out, her large orange hair just barely reaching halfway up Pizzazz in her heels. She looked familiar, but Pizzazz couldn't quite place it. Did she pay this kid to screw over Jem once?

“You. I'm here to date your mom, kid. Go get her.” Probably not the best choice of words, but Pizzazz wasn't going to pass up a chance to make a remark like that, it's not like she'd get another chance.

“Ashley? Who is it?” Came Jem's voice from somewhere behind the door. Pizzazz quickly grabbed at the handle and jerked it toward her, causing Ashley to topple forward into her arms. “Ashley!” came a shout.

Pizzazz helped straighten her back up. “She's fine. Right kid? Ashley, right?”

Ashley just stared up at her for a moment, the nodded and scampered off, leaving only Jem in the large large central room. She was standing in the middle of the staircase, dressed in a long shimmering solid pink dress and those big, glowing earrings Pizzazz had always wanted from her but had never been able to steal.

Pizzazz took a few steps in and looked around the place. She'd only been invited here once before, when the Misfits were invited to help with Ba'Nee's going away party. She barely remembered that night, but she certainly remembered how much she hated this house.

_It's like daddy's... too much like daddy's. Jem, you have the taste in housing of an old rich fart. How does that make you feel?_

“I wasn't so sure you were coming. I'm actually still not really sure what your end-game here is, but I'm holding up my end of the arrangement, and nothing more. This is a date. Dates don't involve making me do any of your work, so if you were hoping to make me your maid for a ni-”

Pizzazz marched up the stairs and forced the roses against Jem's chest. “Yeah, yeah. Less talky more datey. These are for you. And you're not cleaning anything, you got that?! You and me are gonna bumper car and eat funnel cakes, and you're going to -like- it!” She looked almost angry as the words came out. Jem stared into her eyes trying to understand what was happening, then started to back away.

“I,” She paused, then gestured at Pizzazz with the roses. “Thank you? I'll... I'll go put these in a thing. Do you... You've got. Is that blood? Is that blood on your brea-”

 _Oh. Fuck. Cleaning._ Pizzazz looked down, remembering the jelly. Stormer's toast has ruined her dress, and she had a splotch of it on her chest.

Desperate to save face, she started thinking, panic mode. Then, smiling, she dipped her finger into the “blood” and brought it to her lips. “Mmm. Cherry flavored. ...Want a taste?” She said deviously with a wink.

_Smooth. Real smooth. Hey Pizzazz, not only do you not clean up Stormer's fuck up but you just offered to let your rival lick your chest. Yeah, straight as an arrow. Not awkward at all._

“That, I... came out wrong. I mean. The words. Came out wrong I. ….Do.” Pizzazz was getting flustered, and angry. She stomped her foot into the stairs, beginning to fume.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Look, my room's down that hall and to the left. The door's unlocked. Considering at least once you've taken my clothes as a disguise to hurt our reputation, I'm assuming we're the same size... I needed to talk to Kimber for a moment anyway. I'll meet you down here when you're ready, alright?”

Pizzazz opened her mouth to protest but Jem was already rushing down the stairs and out the front door, still holding the roses.

_I... ...What? She expects -me- to wear -her- crap? What fresh hell is this? First Stormer, now Jem. I can take people questioning my sexuality but nobody's fucking questioning my fashion sense! ...And she trusts me to go into -her- room? Either Jem's gone stupid or this is a trap._

 

 

Jem's room was pretty much everything Pizzazz had expected. Too much pink, too much blue, and too little of anything. A boring, personality-less room for a boring, personality-less girl. Too neat, too tidy, too organized. Like nobody had ever lived in it. Even the dresser was carefully sorted and divided, with clothes for every possible occasion gently folded and placed in each drawer. At least, until she got her hands on each, and casually flung them behind her in her quest to find anything capable of beating her slept-in clothes from the previous day's escapades.

“How many pink sweaters can one person own!? Can't even fill these out...” Pizzazz muttered to herself, rubbing one of the fuzzier sweaters against her face before tossing it on top of Jem's bed.

_If I were a diary, would I be buried beneath angora or hidden under a bed? ...or if I were a hidden security camera. What if that's why she's got me up here? What if blackmail's her game?_

After five drawers and what seemed like an eternity, Pizzazz was giving up. Suddenly there was a turning and twisting of the knob, and she jumped in front of it and placed her weight against the door to keep it closed.

“I'm busy! I'm... give me a damn minute!”

“I'm sorry! I just, I wanted to be sure you were still in there. ...Are you looking through my stuff? I promise you, you aren't going to find anything interesting in there.”

_You've got that right, princess. I've seen homeless people with more style than you have in these drawers. You probably left only your ugliest outfits out for me, just to be sure I'd look awful next to you. Couldn't stand a level playing field, could you?_

“I'm not! I'm just... Not decent! Keep your pants on while mine are off, alright!?” Pizzazz lied. Truthfully she was taking so long because she was still recovering, but she wasn't about to announce to the whole of Starlight Mansion that she was not only hung over but had only been awake for three of the last twenty hours.

There was a noise on the other side of the door, but Pizzazz couldn't tell if it was irritation or disbelief. “It's fine, take your time. Just, please don't make too much of a mess alright? I spent all morning cleaning in there.”

_Oh I didn't make -much- of a mess. Just every single thing you toiled at putting away! And not a single damn hidden diary? No secret little baggy of little miss perfect's secret relax-time medication?_

“Had your hopes a little too high for the evening, don't you think? Already preparing to get me into your bed, eh Jem?” Pizzazz snarked loudly through the door.

_Now -that's- how you flirt. You've got this. Make her want it, because you know she can't have it._

There was a loud snort. “I've already got you naked in my room and we haven't gone out yet, seems like a low enough bar to me.”

_Oh you little... no, no you are not going to burn me. You are NOT humiliating -me-!_

“Well I. ...Well. I.”

_FUCK._

“Just get dressed already!” Jem shouted through the crack of the door.

Pizzazz pouted and slumped on the bed. _This is not my week._

Sighing, she held up the last outfit she'd pulled out of the dresser. A short dress with vertical pink and blue stripes, short sleeves, a magenta cloth wrap for her waist, and a matching pillbox hat.

“I look like I'm going to sell hot dogs... Might as well dress how I feel. ...Like a hot dog salesman. ...wait a second. I've seen this dress before. This is Jerrica's. ...a -few- of these are Jerrica's.”

Pizzazz's eyes went wide in shock.

“That means Jem and Jerrica are...”

 

 

Jem was at the base of the stairs in the main room, leaning against the railing as she waited. She hadn't heard the door close earlier so Pizzazz took the opportunity to slowly sneak up behind her.

“I know your seeeeeecret, little miss perfect.” Pizzazz cooed into Jem's ear, causing her to stumble forward.

She turned around, looking puzzled. “I... what, that I like vertical stripes?”

Pizzazz snickered and wiggled her finger back and forth. “No, no. You, and Jerrica. I get it now. I get why you two always had that weird thing going on now, I get why Rio always got so mad. Why you two seem to always know where each other are. How could I be so oblivious?” She stretched the hem of the striped ugly striped dress she'd put on. “I know this dress, Jem. I know this is Jerrica's dress, Jem.”

Jem's eyes went large and she started to visibly panic. “I... please. Pizzazz. You can't. I'll do anything, you name it and-”

“Aww, is little miss perfect worried I'm gonna ruin her career? Or her GIRLFRIEND'S career?”

“I-... wait.” Jem stalled for a moment, tilting her head. There was a few moments of silence, then she started up again. “...Ex. Ex-girlfriend, alright? We decided it was unprofessional. I just... kept some of her things, she kept some of mine. And I'd prefer not to get too into it, I'm still... I'm still torn up over it.”

Pizzazz sneered for a second, but then softened. She stood there awkwardly, scratching at the back of her head, “Do you want me to put on something else then? I mean, if you want.”

_Pizzazz what the hell are you doing? Rub her misery in her face! She humiliated you twice in 24 hours! Tack something on. Like. I don't know. 'I bet you deserved it.' ...no, no. ...FUCK._

“That's sweet of you, ...which is really baffling. ...god Stormer was telling the truth, wasn't she? Are you alright, Pizzazz?”

_Am I? I need to burn -something-. Kick something over. Break something expensive. SOMETHING!_

“Just hungry.” Pizzazz admited, slouching in place a bit. “All I've eaten in 24 hours is some overcooked toast and dime-store jelly. You wanna get moving then? Or do you want to help me find an outfit that doesn't make me look like that bland little boss of yours?”

Jem looked like she was about to say something when the front door suddenly flung open. “You guys coming or what? Kimber's getting antsy, she's already eaten all my corn nuts.”

“Coming? What? ...You had corn nuts and I ate -toast-!?”

_Who am I kidding, the last thing I need is a bunch of salt right now. My kingdom for water. ...or wine. Whichever._

“It's gonna be a double-date, if that's fine with you. It was Kimber's idea. They haven't had a night out together in awhile, and I thought the real couple should have some fun too.” Jem had grabbed a hold of Pizzazz's hand and was tugging her out the door and back towards the Misfits van, with surprisingly very little effort.

“...The -real- couple? The hell's that supposed to mean?!” Pizzazz asked indignantly, perhaps far too loudly.

“Well, I mean. ...They've been dating for months now. You and I are... ...I don't know how to put it nicely. You've been my enemy for as long as I've known you? You've done nothing but insult me and my friends every time you've been around us? You've nearly gotten me -killed-?”

Pizzazz resisted being pulled any further, hanging her head down and pouting. “I'm still real. Tryin' to be nice, you know. I didn't have to donate all that money to the charity, if you're going to be mean about it.” She was trying to feign being insulted, but for some reason she wasn't really having to pretend.

_And there goes what little was left of my buzz. Thanks, princess. Should've known you'd try your hardest to turn this all against me._

Jem sighed. “Stormer, can you give us a moment? Just, wait in the van with Kimber. I think Pizzazz and I need to have a little talk out here for a moment.”

Pizzazz didn't hear any response, just foot steps and the closing of the van door. _Did I make this awkward? This is going to turn into a fight already isn't it? Oh, sure. I insulted -her-. Not like she never insulted me. She hurt my career all the time. Her friend fucking got closer to my father than I ever did, and now we're double dating with her. Well if she wants to fight I'll-_

Her train of thought was interrupted by a tight embrace.

“I'm sorry. I'm... I'm, this is just unusual for me, alright? I... it's a lot to get used to. If I'd known... you could have told me sooner, you know.” Jem squeezed her tight, causing high pitched grumbling noises to come out from Pizzazz's clenched teeth. “I mean, I get it, once Stormer helped me out. Like when you're in school and you push your crush over to show you like them...”

_What. What the hell are you talking about. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?_

“We didn't have to be enemies. I mean... I'm not saying we could've been a couple. I mean honestly now that I think about it, we never really got to know each other, so this'll be a learning experience. I'm sure we can be friends. Just, know that I'm willing to put our past incidences behind us, alright? I'm proud of you for coming out. It takes a lot of guts.”

_Oh god, no. No, no, no. Let me go, let me go, let me go. This isn't comfortable, this isn't comfortable, this isn't comfortable. I'm angry! Let me go! I swear to god I'll hit you! I'll punch your car! I'll burn your house down!_

Jem finally let go and pulled back, then placed her fingers to Pizzazz's chin to lift her face up to hers. “Are you going to be alright?”

Pizzazz's teeth were still clenched, and her face was frozen in a mix of terror and confusion. A slight nod came out, but the expression never changed.

“I... ...alright. Then. ...You sure you're okay?”

Another nod, yet still the face remained.

“Let's... let's go then.” She turned and opened the sliding door to the van. “Hey Stormer? I think I might have broken her.”

_ Urge to kill. Rising. Riiisiiing. Riiiiisiiiing. _

“She doesn't respond well to affection if she's not drunk, and even then you don't initiate it. I learned that one the hard way...”

_Riiiiiisiiiiiiing._

“Come on lazy butt, I need food on a stick!” Kimber screamed from the front seat.

_ They will never find your body. _

 

 

 


	3. Bad Date on the Midway

It was late by the time they reached the carnival's parking lot, the big neon-lit purple and pink Ferris wheel blending in perfectly with the setting sun. They would have arrived sooner had Pizzazz and Kimber not wasted time fighting over who would sit shotgun.

“I was already sitting here! Just, keep your date company!”

“I ALWAYS SIT THERE! I -paid- for this van!”

It took Stormer quietly telling Pizzazz 'This is what you do on dates, you sit together. You know. You two, us two. ...please?' before Pizzazz finally, angrily, threw herself onto the backseat of the van. Laying on her back, with her feet dangling out the window and her head in Jem's lap.

Jem had blushed and looked uncomfortable, but didn't say anything about it. _She loves this. She can't hide it. Oh she feigns being uncomfortable, but I know that face. I know that... ...she has weird nose._

Pizzazz found herself staring up at it, focusing on it. _Too small for her. Stupid cute little..._

“I don't mean to complain, I mean this whole thing did cost you a lot but you're kinda hurting me a bit.”

She snapped out of it. “Huh? What, my head weigh too much for you, princess? Never had someone's head here I take it?” Pizzazz grinned, then stuck her tongue out teasingly.

“No, but I've never had someone rub their head so much against my thighs. What are you -doing-?”

 _What am I -what-?_ Pizzazz's eyes flared, she hadn't noticed before. Wasn't it the road? The road was bumpy and... no, no, they were stopped, but her head just kept moving. She shot up, sitting straight and back against the side door, facing Jem.

“I... I'm not used to sitting in the back.” _Stormer, I'm going to kill your girlfriend for this. LOOK AT WHAT SHE MADE ME DO, STORMER! AND YOU TOOK HER SIDE!_

Jem straightened out her dress a bit, then moved to pet her hand on Pizzazz's knee. “It's fine, really. Maybe a little too fast for me, but honestly it's nice seeing a cuter side of you.”

There was a tick, back and forth. _I want to deck her. I'm not cute. I'm not. But she's falling into my trap, so.... I.... fuck. Fuck. React! Stop thinking, you think too much!_

“I think you'll find I'm -all- cute sides.” Pizzazz fluttered her eyelashes and tried to smile sweetly, but only managed to bare teeth gritting in anger.

“You just have to make sure she doesn't leave a mark like she did with Clash.” Stormer teased as she popped her keys out of the ignition. “Like something out of a zombie movie.”

Jem gave Pizzazz a confused look. “I take it I'm not the only one around here with a 'secret relationship'?” _Is she disappointed? Is she -already- jealous? Oh Pizzazz you've got this in the bag. ...Wait, the hell is Stormer talking about?_

“Nothing serious, to Clash's disappointment. All she has to show for it is some teeth-marks, some bruising, and her picture all over a bunch of tabloids. Yet still she calls -me- about it, like what am I going to do? Tell Stormer to tell Pizzazz for her?” Kimber was already impatiently waiting outside of the van, poking her head in just to snap in Pizzazz's direction.

For what felt like the tenth time in a single day, Pizzazz felt her eyes bulging out of their sockets. “I.... what. No. We were just. There were cameras! We were putting on a show! CLASH DOESN'T COUNT!” She shouted, then awkwardly began fighting with the sliding door's handle, trying to get it open so she could throttle the red brat into submission.

“I don't think there were cameras in your apartment's laundry room, Pizzazz... well I mean there -were-, and Eric said he had to pay a fortune to harass your landlord into not submitting that footage as evidence for the damages done.”

_OPEN. OPEN DAMN YOU! I COMMAND YOU TO OPEN!_

“I... she's taller than me! It's not gay if they're taller! You shut your god damn mouth!”

“Kimber, come on. You're just being mean at this point.” Pizzazz had hoped that was Stormer, but to her chagrin now Jem of all people was defending her. Before she could punch her way out of the window, she felt one hand on her shoulder as another went to pop the lock for her. “We're all friends here, Pizzazz. We're here for charity, we all need to remember that. We're not competing, we're not fighting. We're here to have a good time, right? That's what you wanted, right?”

_You don't even know what I want. I want your pretty little head on a spike. I didn't pay over ten grand just to have your -brat- ridicule me._

“I can defend myself just fine, pinkie. I think Kimber's just upset because she knows Stormer will never do -those- kinds of things to her.” She pulled her left eyelid down with one finger and stuck her tongue out at Kimber.

“That's because Stormer's sweet, and knows how to treat someone, which is why SHE doesn't have to pay just to get a date with someone that isn't even interested in her!”

“Kimber. Seriously, please. Just... you two go ahead of us, alright? We'll meet up later.”

_I will find you, and when I do, I swear my vengeance will be swift._

Jem waited until Kimber and Stormer were out of earshot before speaking up. She was still in the van, gesturing for Pizzazz to come back in. “I think maybe we should talk a bit first. I wanted to back at the house but... well, you seemed like you needed some time to yourself, and then I had to talk to Kimber. She... I mean don't judge her too harshly. She can hold a grudge, she's really good at holding grudges. Kinda runs in the family.”

Pizzazz didn't budge or say a word, just leaned against the outside of the van in silence.

“I want to be open about all of this, I owe you that much. Honestly? I find you attractive.” _Well duh, princess. Who the hell wouldn't? I'm -gorgeous-._ “But what matters most to me is personality. I need a kind heart, I need someone caring. I've never really been that physical of a person I guess. It's hurt my relationships in the past, so I just want that out in the air. I'm not saying you aren't being serious with this, I mean I don't really know you -that- well, you probably know me better than I know you. ...So I'm not going to judge you based on what I've heard. I just want you to prove to me that things have changed. Alright?”

_Kind heart? Caring? No wonder you couldn't hold on to Rio or Riot. Where's your sense of -adventure-? Who the hell doesn't just want to get drunk and tackle some cute piece of ass when the mood sets in? I could make you scream my name in a -heartbeat-. ….Not that I want to. Not that I want that. That's... I mean, you want that. You're the one that wants that. Not me!_

Jem cleared her throat.

_Fuck, doing it again. Fuck. Come on, girl. Game-face. You can do this. She wants sweet innocent Pizzazz, she'll get sweet innocent Pizzazz._

She strained out the sweetest smile she could. “Je-...” She strained, she still couldn't say that name without scowling, “Princess, you have my word. I'm dropping my act for this. You get a date with me, the real me. And I get a date with you, the real you. Alright? No stage persona. No Holograms, no Misfits. Just Gabor and...” Pizzazz stalled. _You don't know your date's name. You don't even know your date's name. This is rude, this would be a rude thing. How could you forget!? ...Jemma? Jemmy? Jemania?_

“I... are you asking for my last name?”

Pizzazz sighed. “Yeah. Honestly, yes, yes I am. I know, I'm horrible. I don't remember your name. You're just... ...you. You probably know -mine-.” _Honesty's good, right? Chicks dig honesty. I mean, I don't, obviously._

“Phyllis, right?” _Twitch._ “Honestly this might surprise you but... Jem actually is my name.”

_Oh bullshit. Just like Clash, exactly like Clash. Then why does your credit card say -Constance-, Clash? Huh? Wanted me to believe you were naturally a redhead too, didn't you?_

“We'll just leave it at Pizzazz, J-... princess. After you?”

“Why do you keep calling me princess?”

Pizzazz shrugged. “You don't like it?”

“I don't mind it, I just... I thought you were saying it insultingly at first. Didn't take you for the kind to use pet names.”

_Pet names? I'm making fun of how stuck up you are, and you get -that- out of it?_

“There's a lot you don't know about me, sweet-cheeks.”

Jem choked. “Let's leave it at princess, shall we?”

 

 

Being out in the fresh air was nicer, at least. Pizzazz looked around from the carnival entrance, keeping an eye out for either their co-dates or, worst case scenario, Eric and his twerp. Instead all she saw was a bunch of strangers all having the time of their life. Cotton candy, balloons, stuffed animals. Horrible creaky organ music played somewhere off in the distance.

_I can make it through today. I'll survive. Then I'm going to kick Kimber's ass. Then Stormer's ass. ...then Clash's ass. Definitely Clash's ass. How dare she tell -anyone- what happened? She swore, she swore none of that would ever come up again. I was just... lonely. I just needed-_

“Step right up! Shoot the targets, win a prize! $5 a go, hit all five targets and win yourself a little something special!”

“A gun! That's what I need!” Pizzazz's eyes lit up and a smile crept back on her face, taking Jem off guard. “I'll shoot her with a gun!”

Jem stopped dead in her tracks. “Come again?”

“Targets. I'll. I'll shoot targets. With a gun.”

_Nice save, Pizzazz. Nice save._

“I'm not a target, right?” Jem peeped, trying to look over Pizzazz's shoulder as the cackling gleefully skipped over to the booth with the strapped-down rifles.

Pizzazz grinned harder. “Not tonight, babe. Not tonight. Now stand back and watch me win a prize. I bet Jerrica never did -this- for you.”

_There's that confidence again. See? You just need to be showing someone up. Or holding a weapon capable of causing harm. It's one of those two, girl. Show someone up with a gun, reach critical ego mass._

She peered around the booth. Yellow-painted plank walls covered in large, gaudy looking stuffed animals on the sides, with six small target sheets hanging on the back wall a good 15 feet back.

“Well little miss, you wanna take a shot? Five dollars, put a hole in the center of each target and you get your choice of prize. Get a little stuffed dog to take home or give to your sister.” Said a large, heavyset man in red and white stripes and an old fashioned straw hat, the smelliest cigar Pizzazz had ever smelled hanging out of his big dumb grin.

_Do I correct that? I could call her something else. No, no. Can't lose points here. Stick to the plan, Pizzazz. It's not like you can make yourself look worse after fondling a a fuc-_

“That's my girlfriend you're talking about, now give me my gun!” Pizzazz yanked a five out of her wallet and slammed it onto the counter, causing the entire front end to shake. She stared angrily into the man's eyes and started yanking on the rifle closer to her to see how well it was secured. It wasn't.

He gulped. “Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am. You... alright. You get eight shots to hit all six targets, but it has to be right in the center of each and-”

Before he could finish Pizzazz had already taken aim and fired at the first target, inches from the man's hand as he was pointing to them. He quickly ducked as another, then another, then three more shots were fired in quick succession.

Pizzazz grinned a toothy grin, resting the barrel of the rifle against her shoulder. “Got any more targets? You still owe me two shots.”

The man stood back up and eyed the targets. Six for six, each with a burst of yellow paint smack in the red and white center.

“I... ...we have a winner. Pick a prize, and... please no more. Any prize you want.” He waved his hands down toward the counter, gesturing for Pizzazz to disarm herself, looking like he was a bank teller in the cheapest bank robbery imaginable.

Pizzazz gestured ahead with her left hand, as she used her right hand to give the rifle a quick twirl before placing it back on the counter. “Which do you want, princess? I don't have all day.” She said impatiently, giving Jem a push forward.

“I, uhm. Me?”

With a groan, Pizzazz slammed her fist down on the counter. “The tiger. The big one, pink one!” She barked while pointing at a watermelon-sized plush cat sitting on an upper-most shelf. “It's pink, you're pink. It's cute, you're cute. That good?”

Jem just nodded and held her hands out as the odd-colored animal was handed down to her. “T-thank you?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure thing, princess.” Pizzazz caught Jem getting too close again, like she was going in for a hug, and instinctively stretched out her hand against her forehead to push her away.

_No, wait. Focus, Pizzazz. Put up with her for now. Remember the plan. REMEMBER THE PLAN. Do a save. Quick!_

Pizzazz smiled nervously, then started ruffling Jem's hair. _That's a save. There you go, good girl. Ruffle the stupid cotton candy. ...I want cotton candy. Man I want to eat instead._

“I want to stuff my face with some pink cotton candy.” Pizzazz muttered, causing Jem to blush a deep shade of red.

“B-beg pardon?”

_You are -way- too easy to humiliate. It's cute. ...Too cute. Like you're trying to get my defenses down, cute._

“...Actual cotton candy, dear. The candy. The stuff that melts in your mouth. If -you- want to melt in my mouth, you'll have to wait your turn.” Pizzazz said slyly, then draped her arm around Jem's shoulder and led her off deeper into the park.

_You're getting better at this, that almost came out naturally. Think how much easier this'd be on someone you didn't loathe!_

 

 

It'd been so long since she'd actually eaten that Pizzazz found herself literally burying her face into her cotton candy, getting it stuck in patches around her mouth and cheeks. It wasn't meat, but it would do. Before she knew it she was just carrying out an empty white plastic cone, and she was already eyeing Jem's.

_If we weren't dating, that would be mine right about now._

“Hey, Phyllis, you've got a little something!” Jem smiled cutely, licked her thumb, and started rubbing it around all of the pink sugary globs Pizzazz had collected on her face. “I use the word little loosely, here... Do you normally eat like this?”

Pizzazz held her breath. _Don't hit your date. Don't hit your date. DO NOT MASH HER FACE INTO HER COTTON CANDY. DO NOT BITE THE HAND THAT CLEANS YOU!_

She made a small mumbling noise as Jem's thumb brushed against her lip.

“Pardon?” Jem stopped.

“Pizzazz. ….Please.”

Jem frowned. “Oh, I...”

“It's nothing personal. Nobody... nobody calls me Phyllis.” _Did I hurt her feelings? Ugh. How the hell is -she- the one upset._ “Sorry. It was... my mother's... name, and we weren't exactly close, when she was around.” Pizzazz lied.

There was a sad nod, and Jem made like she was going to get mopey and apologetic again. _No, no. You've done that too many times tonight, Jem. I swear to god if you hug me again like one of your orphans._

“Hey princess, I think you've got a little something too.”

Before Jem could respond, there was suddenly a very cold, sticky tongue dragging up against her cheek.

“Oh, no. It was just you.” Pizzazz gave her a toothy grin. “Still sweet, though.”

“Oh Jesus Christ, Pizzazz. Can't you go anywhere without dragging your reputation through the ground!?” A voice shouted from behind her.

“ERIC RAYMOND!?” Jem shouted and Pizzazz groaned out in unison.

“Yeah, hi, great. Pizzazz, what the hell is going on? I've been calling you all day. Stormer was -supposed- to be keeping you at her place, and then I find her making out with one of the other Holograms over by the Ferris wheel! Do any of you even bother listening to me anymore? Is it all just in one ear and out the other!?”

Pizzazz let out an angry roar and turned around, jabbing her finger repeatedly into Eric's chest. “I was having a good time until you showed up! Don't you think -that- is why nobody listens to you!? Who the hell died and made you my boss!? Why the fuck does it matter what any of us do in our private lives? Why does it matter!? Do you just get your kicks following us around and harassing us now?”

“You know why this is important! Hell, Stormer and Kimba or whatever are about to learn that the hard way. Once that paparazzo over there gets back to work those two are going to be front page sensations. I mean, yeah, half of that's great, The Holograms will suffer, but you're going to be out a keytarist!”

Pizzazz looked in the direction he'd pointed in, seeing a scummy looking asshole in blue shorts and a loud, orange and red Hawaiian shirt, carrying around a camera that looked far too expensive for just some casual shots of carnival-goers.

“I would -never- kick her out! Stormer can make out with anyone she wants, she's my band-mate and friend! And I swear to god, Eric, if you try to do anything I'll-”

“I'm not doing anything! I was -trying- to prevent this whole thing from happening! And it won't be my choice, your dad is going to put and and to all of this. He's worried about you, Pizzazz. He was ready to cut you out of his -will- if you were caught doing anything else. He already made me start on a restraining order against Clash...”

Jem grabbed a hold of Pizzazz's arm, pulling her towards her. “We can't let this happen... those photos, we can't let them get out. Stormer hasn't come out to her parents yet, she was waiting till her brother came back in next month...”

_Why the hell do you know that? I didn't even know she was gay until this morning! ...Afternoon! Whatever! A restraining order? God damn it why won't everyone just-_

“And that's nothing compared to the risk you face, Pizzazz. I'm trying to look out for you here. It's -all- in your dad's name still. The label, your apartment. Your car. Pizzazz you still live on an -allowance- for god's sake. Please, just listen to me here. I'm not the bad guy this time! I warned Stormer too! I warned you! I keep warning all of you but-”

“SHUT! UP! EVERYONE! I swear to god! I WILL BURN THIS WHOLE PLACE TO THE GROUND!” Pizzazz tightened her fists and screamed into the air. Suddenly all eyes were on her. Eric, Jem, the tabloid photographer, the carnival goers, even the pigeons all seemed to turn to focus on her.

“All fucking day all I've heard is everyone else talking! All of you talk to much! All of you want to do this! Do that! All of you keep saying what's going to happen, who the hell I am, well you know what?! It's time to shut up! Every single one of you! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! I KNOW THE RIGHT THING TO DO! I'M PHYLLIS FUCKING GABOR AND I HAVE A GOLD RECORD! Princess!” Pizzazz turned to Jem, fist still clenched, fire in her eyes.

“Y-..yes?”

“How fucking badly do you want to help out right now? Nod yes or no.”

Jem paused for a moment, thinking. Then slowly nodded her head up and down.

“Hey camera guy! HEY CAMERA GUY! You want front page!? I'll give you front page! I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE PAGES! I'M PIZZAZZ, AND THIS IS MY GAY ASS DATE!”

In a rush, Jem found herself grabbed by the arms and jerked forward into Pizzazz. Before she could make a peep, Pizzazz was dipping her and pressing her lips against her own.

_All eyes on me. ALL. EYES. ON. ME. It worked last time, didn't it!? BE A HERO, BABY._

Slowly she worked up the courage to part her lips, wrapping them around Jem's lower lip and slowly suckling on it. _I have to make this work. I'm way more entertaining than Stormer. And a far... far better kisser than Kimber ever could be, with those little lips of hers. I'm a Misfit, damn it. I do EVERYTHING better._ And then she crossed the threshold into the point of no return, tilting her head and poking at Jem's lips with her tongue, probing Jem into doing the same. _I'm doing it! I'm... ...what am I doing again?_

The plan had seemed simple enough, a very basic plan. Get the photographer's attention, and be entertaining enough to be the only subject he covers for that night. Pizzazz could have handled it in many ways: Setting fire to the cotton candy cart. Picking up a small child and climbing the Ferris wheel like some sort of giant ape run amok. But now, here she was. Pizzazz of the Misfits, tongue curled around the tongue of Jem of the holograms, one finger in her poofy pink hair, the other one holding her up at the small of her back. _So much for all of my pranks involving fire and explosions, huh Eric?_

She held the kiss for moments longer than she felt she needed to, reassuring herself that it was better to be safe than sorry. Slowly, gently, she helped Jem back to her feet and pulled her face away, leaving a small trail of saliva briefly between them. Jem's eyes were half-closed, and she seemed to sway a bit, weak at the knees.

“Well? …Everyone got their show now? Is everyone -satisfied-?” Pizzazz threw her hands up in the air, turning to everyone, taking in the horrified and shocked crowd that had formed around her. Not only was the paparazzi's camera still going off but many others had come to join it, flashing over and over.

Eric was sitting on the ground, palming his face. “I'm ruined. You're ruined. Pizzazz what the hell were you thinking!? You're going to lose your apartment! The band! The label! The label is going to be shut down, Pizzazz! You didn't help Stormer, you doomed us -all-!”

Pizzazz stopped mid-twirl and dropped her arms down. _...Fuck. Oh god. Oh no. Oh no. Dad. ...Fuck. FUCK! I... I can explain right? I can explain it to him. That it was all a prank. I can... I can blame it on Eric. I can blame it on Eric!_

“AW FUCK ME!” Pizzazz screamed into the air, then joined Eric on the ground, hiding her face in her elbows.

 

 

“I told them to go ahead and take the van back home... You and I can catch a cab whenever you want to leave, alright?”

Pizzazz hadn't said a word in the last half hour. Her face was blank save for two bug eyes, the left one occasionally twitching. _All ruined. I fucked up, I fuuuuuucked. Uuuuuuuup. This isn't “one person saw me eat out a girl” fucked up. This isn't “nearly got arrested in a foreign country for rigging a competition” fucked up. This is-_

“Do you still want to be here with me? I could take you home now if you want, I'm just worried about you.”

_I would have been safer setting fire to the cart._

Pizzazz mumbled lightly and pointed at the Ferris wheel. _I could have sabotaged that, and it would've been better. I could have graced the front page and boosted my image! People buy your record if you're a symbol of chaos! What the hell am I a symbol of now?_

“You want to ride the Ferris wheel? After everything else that happened? ...It's sweet, you know. That you'd sacrifice all of that, just to help your friends. I never really knew you had any of this in you... and you're still holding strong. This was a better date than I expected. In some ways, at least...”

_I want to burn the Ferris wheel, princess. I want to remove all the bolts and screws, and I want to watch it roll off across the city, crushing cars and causing mayhem. I want to sit atop it the entire time, smiling down at all of the terror and bloodshed and-_

“Well come on, let's go!” Jem grabbed Pizzazz by the hand and dragged her towards the Ferris wheel entrance, pulling her into a seat with her. Pizzazz didn't have the energy to fight it, any and all strength she had had been blown away, with a faint kaching sound. _My apartment... my money... My lifestyle! Parties... booze.... Am I going to be homeless? Worse, am I going to have to move in with -Clash-?_

Jem hugged onto Pizzazz's arm as the Ferris wheel began to start, resting her head on her shoulder. _I've lost everything, and what do I have to show for it? This... bubbly, cute, pink thing's affections. This sickeningly sweet -thing- rubbing her head into my neck. Ten grand, Pizzazz. Ten grand. It all started with a good deed. It all started with CHARITY._

“Is what Eric said true? About your dad cutting you off... are you going to be alright?”

Pizzazz exhaled loudly, then dropped her head down. “Not even remotely.” Her voice was softer, calmer. She didn't have the energy to be Pizzazz anymore, not right now. Pizzazz had been screamed right out of that shell, leaving only simple Phyllis behind. “It's all his. I've blown all of my money on ridiculous junk. Every dollar I ever got off The Misfits might as well have been burned. Apartment's paid by him. Car's his. I don't even pay my stylists...”

“I'm sorry... I didn't know your dad was so...” There was a loud sigh, followed by faint tapping. Pizzazz squeezed her eyes shut and tried to stop thinking. _Not that it would have mattered to you. Admit it, princess. Deep down you're thankful. No more me. No more fighting. No more harassing you. No more competition, this'll be a boon to your career. Hell, you can blame that make out session on me. Everyone saw -me- initiate it. 'Crazy lesbian has-been attacks singing sensation' the headlines will read._

“You know, Starlight Mansion's a pretty big place... lot of rooms. The kitchen's always well stocked...” _Yeah, great, now she's bragging about -her- successes. Yes, Jem. I'm glad -you- put your money into something good. I'm so happy for you._ “And I'm sure Jerrica would be more than happy to have you on her label, if it came to that. I know for a fact she'd be delighted.”

_Oh. ...Oh. OH. No. No, no, no. I am -not- taking charity from little miss perfect._

“I don't need a handout. I can get by just fine on my own, thank you. I did fine when I quit the Misfits, didn't I?”

“Not particularly, no. I remember everyone worrying about you then, too.”

_Why, you little..._

“You don't need to act so tough, Pizzazz. You've done enough to help today, let me try to help now. Come on... Where's the sassy remarks from earlier? Not going to make some crack at how I just want you back in my room?”

Pizzazz lifted her head back up and asked, far too earnestly, “You want me in your room?”

Jem sputtered for a moment. “I.. ...well. ...That's. ...Hey, look at that moon. That's a nice moon.”

 _I made her blush again, I don't even need to see it. I can -hear- it now._ Pizzazz smiled. “Since you're so insistent on it, princess.... yes, I'll gladly take your room. ...for tonight. Then tomorrow I can work things out...” Pizzazz slid her arm out of Jem's grasp and wrapped it around her. “And if you get me a burger, I -just- might share the room with you. -Might-.”

_Because it's not like I'm going to be able to afford many more of those in the future._

“Gee, how generous of you.” Jem rolled her eyes. “You know, I had my first kiss at this same carnival. Before our first live show as The Holograms...”

“How does it hold up compared to your first Pizzazz-grade kiss?”

“I'm not sure... I might need a reminder.”

Pizzazz sighed happily, scooching closer. She'd gone from wondering at what point would the leap from her seat only put her into a coma, to this. ...and that's when her heart skipped a beat.

“Oh my god...” Pizzazz gasped, then brought both hands back to her face.

Jem moved in front of her, concerned, trying to look into her eyes. “What's wrong? What happened?”

“This is horrible... this is horrible. This is the worst thing I've ever done.”

- _I'm- in love._

 


	4. Of Love, Magic, Trolls, and Proper Grooming Techniques

"Here, you can go ahead up to my room if you want to change into anything... I mean I don't know what you usually sleep in, but maybe you'll find something to your liking? I just wanna spread word around first. ...I mean, this is kinda the first time you've been here at night where you weren't... you know I'm just talking. You go do your thing."

Pizzazz caught most of what Jem had said before darting off upstairs, but didn't really think much on it. She'd spent the time since the kiss thinking on every move that had gone wrong in the last 24 hours. Not calling Stormer ahead of time, not waiting on Roxy, not verifying the address, all the way up to forcing her tongue into the frontwoman for The Holograms.

_I just... I need to retrace my steps. How did all of this even happen? You're pushing yourself too hard, Pizzazz. You need a break. You'll know what you're doing when you remember._

She slowly stumbled her way up the stairs and to the left, wandering into Jem's room in an entirely automated fashion as she grumbled lowly to herself.  _I just... I'll make some calls. Yes. Calls. I'll make some calls. I'll call daddy, I can get all of this sorted, right? Do I wait until he sees the papers? No... no... I want to lie to him first. I need to... I need to tell him. I can explain it. I was drunk. I mean honestly I might still be, I don't know how that works. I'm not some god damned-_

"Is everything okay? I keep hearing this loud grinding noise." A small voice came from the hallway behind Jem's door. The same child that she had bumped into earlier in the day, she recognized.

Pizzazz flopped her back against the door to keep it closed, then slowly slid until her ass hit the floor. "Everything's fine! Mind your business!"

"...Pizzazz? What are you in Jerrica's room?"

_FUCK. Is this her room? ...No, no. This is the room from earlier. This is the right room. It's the child that is wrong._

"I'm banging your mom, what do you think!? Get out!"

Pizzazz grinned to herself and let out a weak chuckle. _I've always wanted to be able to say that and have them believe it. Always. Not like these opportunities spring up often..._

She stopped and thought on that for a moment, then started wiggling herself towards the bed. _I mean... I guess they could. That wasn't so bad earlier, was it? I mean beyond it being Jem and all._ Easing herself up onto the bed, Pizzazz reached over to the beside table and pulled an ugly solid pink phone over and carefully dialed the only number she knew that would be any help.

 

 

 

"Hi, this is Leah, Constance can't come to the phone right now but I'd be glad to take a message."

_I fucking knew it. Your name is Constance. YOUR NAME IS CONSTANCE. Keep telling me to call you Clash, I'll-_

"Tell her to get her ass to the phone if she knows what's good for her!"

"Pizzazz? ...I... No, hon, come on. I... fine. But I'll be right here, alright?"

There was some roughling against the phone for a few moments before another voice came on.

"Hey Pizzazz... sorry, it's like... midnight. What's up?" The voice was slow, crackly, and tired. The first person was still talking in the background but Pizzazz couldn't pick any of it up.

"Who the hell is that? Is that -Video-? Is -everyone- banging a Hologram now?!"

There were angry noises from the other side now, and Pizzazz was fairly certain she heard something pressing against the bedroom door now as well.

"I'm... Is this about Stormer and Kimber? Look, I love you guys. I've been a die hard Misfits fan for so long, but if this is going to turn into any homophobic bullshit I swear to god we're going to burn-"

"I made out with her and I don't know what I'm doing. It was a prank... and I enjoyed it. And I don't think she's feeling pranked... and I'm in her bed. Clash help me here. You... you know this stuff. This is...... you're gay, I'm not right? Like, what am I here. How do I know?"

There was silence and more talking in the background. Pizzazz was feeling awkward and uncomfortable, raising an arm and flopping it back down on the bed repeatedly, punching a small pile of clothes she'd thrown about earlier in the day. _How could it possibly take this long to come up with an answer? Is it really that complicated?_

"Alright, we're here to help. Can I put you on speaker phone so Blaze can help? She's the one you were talking to earlier. I promise you can trust her, just like you trusted me, right?" _And did trusting you pay off? -Everyone- seems to have a pretty good idea of what we've done in the past._

"Fine, go for it. Just, tell me. What am I doing here? Am I gay or am I doing something wrong? Am I doing something wrong -and- gay?" _Look at Pizzazz, can't even be gay right. You know Eric was thinking that. You just know for a fact that Eric was ready to criticize your little makeout session in depth, because he has to criticize fucking everything. Eric has to know better about -everything-._

There was a click, then awkward coughing. "Alright, Pizz. I'm going to be blunt... you went down on my girlfriend, I think we all know you're gay. So if -that- is all you're asking, yes. ...I'm still a bit irritated about that."

"But the list! We both had exception lists and-"

"You make those as fantasies! It's not like I'm going to have a drunken Joan Jett strut up to me and say 'fancy a shag in a crappy laundry room?'"

"...Joan Jett isn't british, why are you making her british."

"If she's drunk and gay she can be british too. It's my fantasy. Keep up with me, Clash darling."

Pizzazz let out a low, extended growl, growing increasingly frustrated by the banter she was subjecting herself to. _Wait, I wasn't -that- drunk. ...and it was a fine laundry room. She was the one that didn't have her keys! AND SHE DIDN'T SAY SHE HAD A GIRLFRIEND! I'm... Oh for hell's sake Pizzazz are you feeling jealous over -this- now? Get your shit together._

"Alright, fine. You've got me. I'm gay. I'm gay, gay, gay! So what, what do I do here? Do I just... give up? I'm already in her bed, I feel like I've surrendered as it is." There was more rustling against the door as Pizzazz angrily made, followed by a light tapping sound.

There was another click on the phone, then Clash started up again. "Alright, well. That's going to be a fun little argument... -whose- bed, Pizz? What are you even talking about? You're not really making much sense, have you been drinking again."

"FOR THE LOVE OF...." Pizzazz shot out of bed and held the phone directly infront of her, "JEM! I'M IN JEM'S BED! I'M IN JEM'S CLOTHES! I'm concerned that I'm going to -fuck- that pink little ray of sunshine, and then that's it. Never coming back. No more Pizzazz. No more Misfits. No more any of this. My imagine, my future, my bandmates. You got that this time!? Me. Bang. Pink. Princess."

The tapping at the door got harder.

_Hell's sake those kids are irritating. Yes, yes, I know I'm making noise. No, I don't care what time it is._

"I'm sorry I'm just, wow that's a lot to take in. Pizzazz, nobody's going to judge you over this. I mean everyone's been accepting of Kimber and Stormer, right? And you all were certainly accepting of me, and I've been out since you guys let me do work for you. I've never even been in the closet, despite what those rag papers tried to claim... You do what you want to do, when you want to, and how you want to. That's The Misfits spirit, right?"

 _Right. ...Right! That's right!_ "I'll do what I want, when I want, who I want. I'm a Misfit, and I do it better! Hell, if anything it'd improve -her- image. Show the world she's tough enough to handle me and-"

"Pizzazz? Can I come in now? I've been knocking for awhile, and you've kinda woken up both Aja -and- Shana... ...we can all hear you very very very clearly. Most of these kids haven't exactly had the talk yet." Jem's voice came muffled from the hallway.

 _Nope, there it goes again. Totally lost the attitude again. Dead, dead dead dead._ Pizzazz hung up the phone loudly, then darted into the adjoining bathroom and slammed the door behind her, shouting behind her "Fine! Good! Come in!"

 

 

 

_I mean, really, as long as you make the first move you're doing right. You made the first move at the start. -You- bid, you made the decicion where to go, you made the first move to kiss her. As long as you're leading this, you've got it. Just like with your dad, as long as you get to him first, everything will be fine._

Pizzazz had been standing naked in Jem's shower for at least half an hour, unmoving, never once adjusting the water to anything besides cold, just thinking and grumbling. _I feel so burnt out, though. I can't let her know that. I'm not used to having to keep the act up so long without any interruptions._

She audibly sighed and gave the faucet a light punch, just enough to throw its tilt off and point it away from her. _You've got this. You are the -queen- of this. QUEEN LESBIAN PIZZAZZ! Okay that's going too far. Fuck. I'm... at least Clash still thinks I was drunk._ She had actually been very much sober that night, but had feigned drunkeness as an excuse just in case she had been shot down. _Not that anyone could turn -this- down, I mean look at yourself. Any woman would fight their family to get a piece of this, even the straight ones._

There came a knocking at the door. "Hey Pizzazz? I'm going to leave this at the door alright? It's getting pretty late and-" _Oh, now I'm taking too long for you!? Getting impatient are we, princess? Not like you haven't kept -me- waiting!"_

Pizzazz quickly turned off the shower and, still dripping wet, ran across the bathroom, unlocked the door, and yanked it open. "What!? ...I mean. ...What? I'm done now. ...Didn't mean to keep you waiting." _Play it cool, Pizzazz. Don't yell at her. Don't blow this. Play it cool._ She did her best to smile sweetly while leaning against the door frame, looking Jem up and down. She was dressed in a baby blue shirt that came down to her knees, and in her arms were a wadded up pink towel and a matching shirt. It was then that Pizzazz realized-

"...You're... naked." Jem was blushing and bug eyed, awkwardly standing straight while holding onto the fabrics she'd meant to drop off.

_Well... ...Shit. Say something badass. Say something cool._

"I know I am, but why aren't you?" _Real smooth, Pizzazz. Real smooth._ "I mean, uh. You hand me these, I'll get dressed. You just... get comfy over there?" Pizzazz grabbed for the towel and shirt, awkwardly holding them infront of herself to maintain some decency.

"Well, I was going to let you have my room tonight, and I was just going to-"

_ Shit, what did I do wrong now?  _ "What, don't wanna share a room with me? 'fraid I might bite?"

"I just, you don't think that's a little fast? I mean I'm not..." Jem looked awkward and scratched the back of her head, "I mean I'm not against the idea. It's... it's a big bed. I guess Kimber and I've had to share it before."

Pizzazz winced.  _ Kimber too? Geez princess, you get around more than I thought. And I was hoping you'd be more of a challenge...  _ "Fast is all I'm about, princess. But I can slow down if you need to catch up..." She leaned forward, the tip of her nose was brushing against Jems. "I can work any pace you want."

Jem gulped. "You're, uhm... you're still naked."

_ Yeah, no shit. _ Pizzazz groaned and closed the door to towel herself off.  _ There has to be... -something- I'm not doing right, here. I'm just not sure what... _

She rubbed the towel against the mirror until she could get a good look at herself. Green hair fell flat against her down to her armpits, her face was pale and overly sharp looking without all of the makeup to soften her appearance. Only her left eyebrow had survived the day, and she found herself having to rub that one off as well using handsoap and a wadded up towel corner.

"Yeah, that'd be why, Pizz. You look like a ghoul. You don't look like a Misfit, you look like something the Misfits trampled. You might as well just-"

"Hey uhm... I was thinking I could pop some popcorn and we could watch a movie? I was going to ask what you were into... I kinda assumed horror, but that's mostly in Shana's room."

_ No, you wouldn't be the horror type would you, princess. You were so easy to scare back in New Orleans, so panicky and- ...cute, I guess. It was cute. Even then maybe I thought you were cute. _

"I've got a few new releases, but I'm not sure they're to your liking... One's a fantasy with the guy from Real Genius, if you're into that. Or I've got-"

Pizzazz opened the bathroom door back open, now dressed in the pink shirt she had been handed, and with her hair hanging down infront of her face to hide her lack of makeup or eyebrows.

"Willow. We're watching Willow." Pizzazz smiled beneath the mess of damp hair. She'd already seen the film earlier in the year when it hit theaters and fallen in love with it, having invisioned herself as Val Kilmer's character Madmartigan several times since. She grabbed Jem by the arms and shook her gently. "You'll love it, I promise."

Jem giggled softly but tried to back away. "Okay, okay, settle down... I guess I just didn't see you for the fantasy type. I guess I'm learning a lot about you today. ...cute lightning bolt by the way."

Even though her face was still covered by her hair, Pizzazz was painfully aware that the fact she was now embarrassed was painfully obvious. She froze, and let out a weak coughing noise. "I, uh. ...It's. It's fashionable. It."  _ Is she being serious? Did she like it? ...Was Jem checking out my funparts? _

"I have no doubt, I'm just not used to seeing such... precise trimming down there. ...or dyeing. ...I also didn't take you for the shy sort. Are you blushing under there?" Jem stuck her hands through Pizzazz's hair and made a part to peek in.

_ WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Ugh, quick. Look sexy! Look hot! LOOK FIERCE! _

Pizzazz tilted her head down and looked into Jem's eyes, tucking her lower lip in and lightly biting into it.  _ I don't think this is exactly any of those things. I don't think this is any of those things at all. You can do better. _

Suddenly Pizzazz felt finger tips at her chin, and before she could react a pair of soft lips were against hers. She felt another hand feeling around at her back, tracing her spine with its fingertips through the thin fabric of her shirt.  _ This... this is nice. Feeling calmer... really calm.  _ Pizzazz relaxed into Jem's embrace, nuzzling her head down Jem's cheek and under her chin.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually having a pretty great time with you... Before Stormer convinced me otherwise, I thought this date was going to be some excuse to humiliate me. Like you'd take me to see some new horror movie, then the other Misfits would join you in trying to scare me for fun..." Jem lightly stroked Pizzazz's hair with one hand while holding her close with the other. "Color me shocked... Has this been the real you this whole time? Could we have been doing this the past few years instead of fighting?"

_ What, you didn't find all of the fighting fun? Can't enjoy a game you're losing? Well I enjoyed myself, princess.  _

"I could stand a few years of this..." Pizzazz muttered into Jem's neck, kissing it softly.

Jem giggled and gently pushed her away. "But if we do that, you'll never be able to watch this movie with me. Come on... I'll go pop us some popcorn if you'll move all these clothes off the bed. Gotta have room to cuddle, right?"

 

 

 

Pizzazz laid back on the bed, propped up by a large pile of pillows to see the large wall-embedded TV where the movie was playing. For the last hour or so Jem had been wrapped around her, head against her breast as Pizzazz occassionally hand fed her from the popcorn bowl.

"I've never been so afraid of pigs. It looks so... painful." Jem let out a visible shudder as they watched an entire army get slowly transformed from human to swine. 

Pizzazz chuckled and patted her on the head. "I'll protect you from any evil wizards, princess."  _ And evil businessmen. ...and Techrat. Who am I kidding, I'll have to protect you from myself. _

To her surprise, Jem had come back earlier to find that Pizzazz hadn't simply pushed the clothes off the bed, as she'd expected, but caught her neatly folding the clothes and sliding them back into the drawers. Not the proper drawers, but it was still more than either of them had expected her to ever do.  _ I'm not even sure why I'm doing this,  _ Pizzazz had thought,  _ but I feel like it's what I'm supposed to do. _

"Now that's a thought that'll take getting used to... Pizzazz of the Misfits, looking out for me, and caring for me?" Jem looked up at her, "Can you promise me this is permanent?"

Pizzazz looked down and smiled, the flicked a piece of popcorn at Jem's nose, hoping that would be enough of a response. She was caught off guard by the hint of a pout from her pink haired cuddler in return.

"Jem," Pizzazz sighed.  _ Come on, you know the right words to say. You've known them all night. Everything is going to plan. ...whatever that plan even is anymore.  _ "I love you."

There was a silence for a moment, then yet more moments to come. A few scenes from the film came and went, a battle passed by without either watcher caring, then finally Jem responded.

"I think I love you too, Pizzazz... ...I mean that. It's just, it's a little hard to say still. Feels like only a month ago we were at each others throats, then tonight we've, well." She scooted up on the bed a bit more to rub her head under Pizzazz's chin, "We've been at each others throats in whole new ways."

_ Is this what I wanted? I remember... I remember wanting to get the attention she'd robbed me of. I remember wanting to show Eric up. I very distinctly remember wanting to make Jerrica jealous... I don't remember wanting this. _ Pizzazz tilted her head down and placed a kiss on Jem's forehead.  _...but I do. _

"I've spent the past several months feeling sorry for myself. I haven't been able to do anything creative, and it's been holding the band back... honestly this is the most relaxed I've felt this entire year. Maybe the most relaxed I've ever been with another person." Pizzazz's voice sounded different, softer. She found that she wasn't even bothering anymore to maintain her image, her stage persona, any longer. 

Jem sighed contentedly and gave Pizzazz a tight squeeze. "I'm glad. Certainly feels like the first time I've been around anyone romantically where things actually went well... I'd forgotten what it's like to not have to worry about jealousy. Not having someone second guess you when you tell them how you feel about them. ...To think, you'd have more faith in me than Rio did."

"I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't trust you. You're like the ultimate goody-goody. I've seen you screw yourself over time and time again just to do the right thing. Rio's just a jackass."

_ A big, dumb-faced, purple haired jackass. Not that he matters now. Stupid goon, probably still has his head up Jerrica's ass. _

"There's the Pizzazz I knew... normally that would've sounded like an insult, but you say it so sweetly now. Maybe you always meant it sweetly before... Had it always been an act?"

She let out a sharp exhale through her nose. "It's, it's just always been easier that way. I have an image to maintain with the band. I can't show any weakness. Not to Stormer, not to Roxy, especially not to Jetta, and certainly not to my fans. Eric's hammered that one into my brain enough times... "

"That has to get frustrating. I know how that is, though... having to keep up a whole other identity for your worklife. All of the pain it can bring... I wish I could just drop it all, just be myself."

"Then why don't you? You pretty much just get by on your music. Your bandmates are basically sisters to you, you've apparently dated your manager before. Unless you have some serious skeletons in your closet..."

"You've got a point. Honestly I'm not sure why I bother anymore... maybe you could help me with that."

Pizzazz smiled up at the ceiling.  _ One night and already I'm having a major impact on this chick. Pizzazz, truly you are the queen of dating. I bet Stormer hasn't made Kimber think even half this much. _

"I have to ask, though. ...Where do we go from here? I mean, where would you want this to go?" Jem slid her arm out from under Pizzazz and used it to prop herself up to look her straight in the eyes. 

Pizzazz had to think on that.  _ I... I've run out of ideas. I feel like something's blocking my ability to plot. Everything feels weird, but I kinda like it. Just... think. What would you normally say? What would you normally do?  _ But before she could answer, Jem was hanging over her, hands on either side of the bed holding herself directly above Pizzazz, smiling down at her.

"Because I should warn you... once you're Jem's girl, you're never the same."

_ Oh ye gods. _

Pizzazz's eyes flared, and her lips quivered. "I... ...I want to be Jem's girl."

 

 

 

The sun beamed in through an uncovered window, hitting Pizzazz in the face and slowly waking her up. She wiggled for awhile, trying to feel out her limbs. The bed seemed unfamiliar, as did the room, but gradually it was coming back to her.  _ Jem... that was. ...that was some night.  _ She was naked now, and felt what she believed to be Jem's shirt by her toes.  _ First time I've done any of that... ...especially not without claiming to be drunk, or actually being drunk. _

She stretched out and arched her back, still doing her best to wake up. She'd never been a morning person after all.  _ Especially not after... that. Who would have that such a cute little thing could do... those things. Dirty... dirty little Jem girl. I have many favors to return, if you'll let me. _

"Good morning, sunshine." Pizzazz slowly rolled over onto her side and lifted the blankets to get a good glimpse at her still-sleeping partner. ...if it had been her partner.

Pizzazz's eyes bugged out of her sockets and she quickly found herself scurrying out of bed. "No... no no no... No. Pizzazz. Pizzazz this is... no. Oh god what have I done!? WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" There, laying naked atop Pizzazz's discarded nightshirt, was Jerrica Benton.

_ You ruined it. You ruined all of it. How did you even manage this!? Were you drunk? Did you imagine any of that!? Oh fuck you've already cheated on her... you've already cheated on your first girlfriend. Great work. Very nice work. _

"Pizzazz?" Jerrica asked groggily, squinting to see her in the sunlight. "What's wrong?"

"You... you're wrong. I'm. I'm wrong. We're both wrong. Jesus I... ...Jem. Where's Jem? Oh god she's... she's not going for forgive me. I fucked up. I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up. How did we even..."

Jerrica sat up and looked around, catching her reflection in the mirror opposite the bed. She let out a loud sigh. "I guess I've never really slept around anyone that didn't know before... I suppose I should have been ready to tell you anyway, lest you end up like Rio."

"What are you even talking about? End up like Rio? What, dumped by Jem? Like you were? I... I wanted to do right. I thought I was doing right. Everything was going fine..."

Pizzazz slid to the floor and hugged at her knees, burying her face into them.

"Hon, calm down. I... I have something to show you." Jerrica walked over to her and placed an arm on her shoulder. "But you have to promise me, this never leaves us... what I'm about to show you, nobody outside of the Holograms knows. ...except maybe Stormer, knowing Kimber's loose lips..."

Pizzazz looked up, tears streaming from her eyes. "What are you even-"

"It's show-time, Synergy."

Suddenly, before her very eyes, where Jerrica had been, there was only Jem. Pizzazz blinked slowly, then rubbed at her eyes.  _ I... What. How? _

"I'm Jerrica, Pizzazz. I've always been Jerrica. I... I've been using holograms for the past few years to fake another identity. At first it was to compete against Eric, but eventually I found that I depended on the Jem identity to even perform... but it's always been me deep down, Pizzazz."

_ But... that... ...How could I have missed that? All these years... Similar voices, same height. Similar taste in fashion, similar personalities, that same cute butt... Are we all blind? _

"This is some Clark Kent shit." Pizzazz sniffled, eyes bloodshot and still tearing up.

Jem knelt down on the ground and hugged her tight. "I'm sorry to have lied to you. I just... I didn't know how you'd react. I thought you hated Jerrica. ...then again, until yesterday I thought you hated Jem too. I'll understand if you hate me now, at least."

"Did you mean those words you said to me last night?" Pizzazz rubbed at her eyes again, her voice croaking. "That you loved me?"

Jem pressed her fingers into her earring, and in an instant she was Jerrica again. "I did... and did you? Or did my power enchant you and you were helpless against it?

Pizzazz smiled and let out a weak, raspy laugh before tackling the blonde to the floor, hugging her tightly. "You're such a nerd... ...Jerrica," Pizzazz struggled to not say Jem. "But I still love you."

"I love you too," Jerrica squeezed hold of Pizzazz, pressing her cheek to hers and letting out a small murmur as she felt the warmth of it, "Phyllis."

"Hmph." Pizzazz leaned forward and caught the lower side of Jerrica's ears between her teeth, giving it a light nibble. "I'll allow it... but only you. Nobody else gets to say that name. ...and only in private. ...Occasionally."

Jerrica murmured again, then let out a little giggle. "I swear it... but can we get dressed? I could use a little breakfast. And judging from that cute little rumbling I'm feeling against me, I'd say I'm not the only one."

"Do we have to? What's the point of a big old mansion when you have to get dressed to make your girlfriend some pancakes?" Pizzazz mock pouted, releasing her grip on Jerrica and pulling herself up to the bed.

"Oooh, you're going to make me pancakes? Maybe I could hold off on getting dressed for a few more hours then... if you can handle the kitchen by yourself."

_ Oh you little... Clever girl.  _ "I think I can manage... I just need your help finding pants."

"I think you may want a different shirt too... I mean I'm not averse to my bandmates finding out we're together, but I'd rather them find out through words rather than, you know... Smells."

"You say that as if there's a chance they didn't hear you screaming out my name last night." Pizzazz stuck her tongue out as she made her way over to the dresser to find something to slip on.

"As I recall, -you- were the one shouting -my- name... but I see your point. Today's going to be interesting."

_ I think I can handle interesting. ...Do I need eyebrows to make breakfast, or do I let the Starlight brats stare into the grim visage of death while I gloat about banging the hell out of their mom? _

 


	5. Broken Eggs, Failed Omlettes

 

_Why did I volunteer for this? All I eat for breakfast is cereal. ...Can I make her cereal? Is that sweet? Do girlfriends do that?_ Pizzazz had found a cupboard full of various sugary cereals, but given how low the shelf was she was sure that it was for the Starlight kids.  _I seriously doubt little miss perfect eats anything with a cartoon bird on it. Even when I thought she was just Jem... well maybe I could see Jem eating this stuff, it's colorful._

She flicked open each cabinet, pacing across the kitchen as she analyzed her options. The fridge had been opened, closed, and reopened enough times but it had been the same selection each time, and never became more enlightening. _Do I... ...make eggs? There's eggs. Oh but how does she eat them._

"If you're looking for alcohol, we intentionally don't stock any in the kitchen. Jerrica makes us keep this a dry house, outside of social gatherings and events."

Pizzazz quickly spun around, accidentally closing the fridge door on the tie for the pink bathrobe she had borrowed from Jem. It was Aja, already dressed and ready for the day in red leggings, a white sweater, and black and white sneakers. _Color me surprised, you're all morning people. ...Except Jem I guess. ...or Jerrica. God that's going to take getting used to._

"I'm not looking for that, thank you very much. I'm just, trying to make some breakfast. ...What do you guys usually do for that around here?" _Do you think she's normally a morning person too? Maybe I've thrown her through a loop. Tuckered the poor thing out... Oh of course -that- brings a smile to my face._

Aja looked Pizzazz up and down, then something seemed to click in her. "So that's what all those noises were last night... Jem told me that you were here, but I didn't believe her. Then I heard all of that strange screeching and moaning. I was working under the assumption the place was haunted."

_Screeching? I... ...Did I screech?_

"I'm sorry, that was mean." Aja quickly softened her tone. _Oh god am I blushing again? Is she apologizing because I'm blushing? Oh this was all a mistake. Maybe I should just pour her some cereal. I mean if I do it, it's romantic. She should be grateful for anything I make for her, I mean-_

"...She likes eggs, sunny side up. Usually with toast and some fruit. Sometimes she likes bacon, but she doesn't like it too greasy and I've never been able to do it right, so I'd recommend against it." Aja walked around the kitchen counters pulling out a skillet, a spatula, and a small bottle of olive oil. "At least I'm assuming that's what you're trying to do, right? ...Always took you for a kid's cereal type."

Pizzazz just hung her head. "...I'm that obvious, then." She groaned and yanked the skillet out of Aja's hands, slamming it down on the stove-top. "I'll show you. I'll make bacon so great Jerrica's going to be all 'Ooh Pizzazz you are the queen of bacon. For someone that doesn't eat bacon you sure are an expert at bacon.'" She said in a mocking, high pitched tone as she popped the fridge back open and pulled out a carton of eggs, a pack of bacon, and a stick of butter.

"D-did you say Jerrica?"

"Yeah, what's it to ya? What fruit even goes with eggs? Do you eat an orange with eggs? It's breakfasty right? I mean, orange juice." Pizzazz was already paying her no mind, oiling up the skillet and cracking open a half dozen eggs into the skillet, leaving a mess of shells and egg goo on the counter space besides the stove.

Aja placed both hands on the counter and let out a sigh. "So you... you know? You're not going to tell anyone, right?"

Pizzazz slipped out a few strips of bacon and slid them into the skillet next to the eggs, not once looking up from her cooking. _I am going to kick this breakfast's ass. Nobody is going to make a breakfast as awesome as my breakfast, and every morning she's going to want to wake up to this. She'll be all 'Oh Pizzazz, I can't start the day off without you, take me I'm yours.'_

"Pizzazz, seriously, you can't tell anyone. I mean if Eric were to find out, or Rio, I don't-"

"Cool it. Jerrica's secret will remain a secret, I don't need you guard-dogging at me." _Will that be my job now? Gotta protect little miss hologram from all the dangers that I used to initiate._ "She's my girlfriend, and I guess I have to protect her." _She is my girlfriend, right? She said she loved me, normally that... right? How do I even ask that? So, princess, here's your eggs. Am I your girlfriend?_

Aja looked puzzled for a moment, then shrugged it off. "Oranges are fine, just don't do a whole orange. Maybe you could take a few slices and a few strawberries?" She opened the bottom draw of the fridge and pulled out a small blood orange and a plastic container of strawberries. "I'm sorry, for all of that. I didn't know."

"Yeah, well, you didn't ask. ...You can make it up to me by slicing those for me. Given my history I don't think it'd be too great if any of the kids came down here and saw me wielding a knife, and I'm in enough trouble with Eric and dad." _I still need to talk to dad... what do I even say? I'm sorry, but this isn't an act of rebellion. I'm a lesbian, but I'll reform my violent criminal ways. A little bit. ...I could bring Jerrica with me._ Pizzazz poked at the bacon with the spatula she'd been given, trying and failing at flipping it without getting sprayed by pops of boiling hot oil that had begun leaping out of the skillet and onto her arm and hands. _I mean, it'd show a sign of stability, right? Hey dad, here's my girlfriend. She's a normal person, with normal person interests. You befriended her sister one time, oh she's also a lesbian. You had more fun with a lesbian than with your own daughter. You asshole._

She scrunched up her face, finally managing to get the bacon flipped over. "...But I guess I'm a lesbian too now, and you're still going to hate me."

"Why would I hate you for being gay? Kimber's basically my sister and she's gay. Jerrica too and she's bisexual. Video's cousin is gay and she's really been sweet since she mellowed out..."

 _Just thinking out loud. Just... Don't angrily cook, Pizzazz. Anger doesn't benefit cooking. Always remember that incident with the cookies, and Roxy's poor broken finger._ "It's nothing, not you. I'm... just thinking, alright?"

"Well, just know you're welcome here." Pizzazz suddenly felt a squeeze around her waist as Aja came up from behind. "You're family. As Jerrica's girlfriend, you're basically an honorary sister don't you think?"

Pizzazz growled, but did her best to not say anything. _You're on their turf. Don't do anything stupid. ...and if you hurt her, Jem might put her clothes back on._ "Can't have that happening." She snorted.

 

 

 

She tapped a bare foot against Jerrica's bedroom door a few times, trying to alert her. When that failed, she tried kicking it a bit. "Hey princess, can you get the door? My hands are full and I don't want to drop all of this on all of this expensive carpeting. ...Well, more of this anyway. Someone's in for a little surprise somewhere between here and the kitchen."

The door opened a crack, and Jerrica's head poked out. "What kind of surprise?"

"Like a strip of bacon kind of surprise. I'm sure kids like floor bacon, and most of this place seems clean enough to eat off of. It's like you people never even need to clean." Pizzazz pushed her way through, carefully carrying a wide tray covered by two plates of scrambled eggs, overcooked bacon, strawberries, orange slices, and a few very shredded pieces of buttered toast, as well as two glasses of orange juice that were precariously close to the edge.

"I... Wow. Honestly I was just expecting you to grab cereal. We have a little shelf of a bunch for the kids. Didn't expect you to be the breakfast type."

 _Does -everyone- here have some stance on my eating habits?_ She gently laid the tray on the bed and turned back to eye the only thing she really wanted for breakfast. Jerrica was still naked as she had promised, save for her red star earrings. Pizzazz tried her best not to stare, but found herself unable to look away as she started biting into her own lower lip. _What did I do to deserve this, and why couldn't I have done it sooner?_

"Did I say something wrong?" Jerrica held her hands behind her back, pushing the door closed with hip. "You're staring at me funny... I mean you've had me like this for the last ten hours."

 _Are you counting the hours now, princess? ...Is that a good thing? Maybe I'm overstaying my welcome._ "It's not like the view's going to get any less pretty." Pizzazz smiled and looked her up and down, before kicking off her robe. "But I can't be the only one filling up on eye candy for breakfast, I guess."

_Yesterday you woke up in Stormer's bed with a hangover and a bunch of whiners breathing down your throat. Today you woke up in Jem's bed and you get to have naked breakfast in bed. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. 'Oh, so, it turns out I'm secretly royalty. You were right to call me princess this whole time. Let's get married and be co-princesses of Spain.'_

Pizzazz stretched out on the bed and pulled the tray closer to her, then gestured for Jerrica to join her. _...Did I say married? Where even is my brain right now. I think those first few burned bacon strips did some damage._ Pizzazz had actually ruined most of the bacon she had found in the fridge, save for the few strips that remained on the plate. Aja had attempted to butt in and help, but Pizzazz was not willing to accept defeat. _It's not my fault, anyway. I mean I'm Jewish, I don't think I'm even supposed to be handling bacon._

"Ahwegilfends." Pizzazz blurted something out as Jerrica poked at her eggs with a fork.

She looked up, still grabbing some of the eggs on the fork, trying to avoid a few overcooked pieces. "Beg pardon?"

Pizzazz took a deep breath and tried to relax, but tensed back up as she watched Jerrica take a bite. _Why couldn't I have done sunny-side up? How did I fuck up -all- of those eggs... I hope she doesn't hate it. I hope she doesn't hate me... ...I mean why would she hate me. So I can't cook. I have other skills!_

"A...are we girlfriends? I've... I've only ever had one before, and it didn't work out so great. There were issues, and... honestly I actually don't remember how we got together initially, but it was different at the time. Then they were my girlfriend after that, and... then my dad got angry, and I got transferred. ...and..." Pizzazz looked intently down at the bedspread as she tried to collect her words, ears focusing on the sound of Jerrica taking a bite of a particularly crispy chunk of bacon that had once between two separated strips.

Suddenly there was a hand at her thigh. "Relax, hon. You're going to give yourself a heart attack today... If it's what you want, yes. I'd love to be your girlfriend. I wouldn't normally do those kinds of things to someone if I wasn't interested in something more serious, that's why I was asking last night before we.... ...made love."

_Oh thank god you called it something before I called it bonking. Making love, far better term. We'll go for that._

"Is... is the food good? I've never really made breakfast. When I was a kid we had cooks, and when I got my own place I just ate junk food."

Jerrica smiled sweetly as she popped a raspberry in her mouth, sliding the tray towards Pizzazz. "It's... it's okay. Honestly, I've never really been a cook either. Aja and Shana are way better at it than anyone else here, so I generally let them handle anything if they want to. ...never Kimber, never once Kimber."

_You'd think she would have brought any of that up when she was trying to butt in on my cooking._

Pizzazz grabbed one of the orange slices and took some confused nibbles out of it. _Is this really a breakfast thing? This seems wrong._ She folded it over and popped it in her mouth, peel facing outward, giving her the appearance of having orange lips and causing Jerrica to giggle loudly. _Oh god I AM doing this wrong._ Pizzazz pouted, causing the orange slice to also fold into a frown.

"Oh my god why are you such a cute dork in private?" Jerrica cupped her hands in front of her mouth, still giggling at the confused green haired lady with the red juice dripping out of her mouth.

 _Since when am I a dork?_ Pizzazz clenched her teeth through the blood orange, biting clear through and swallowing all but the skin which she laid back out on the plate. _...But she said cute... that makes it fine right? Is it good to be a cute dork?_

Her train of thought was interrupted by a pair of soft lips pressing to her own, and then a flick of a tongue catching some of the juice off her chin. "You're full of surprises. I kinda like that... I feel like there's so much I need to get to know about you now. Nothing's really what I imagined..."

"You imagined this before, then?" Pizzazz grabbed one of the mutilated toast wedges, wadded it between her palms, and then popped it in her mouth as Jerrica watched. "Bacon's all for you... it's... it's not greasy?" She smiled sheepishly.

Jerrica gave a face that was somewhere between embarrassed and uncomfortable, raising her shoulders up as she grabbed the last piece of bacon and nibbled at it. "I, kinda. Once or twice." She said between bites, the bacon shattering into her mouth. _Okay, okay, I get it. Bacon was a mistake. Stop looking like I'm feeding you poison. ...wait, what?_

"...You imagined us together before? Twice?"

There was a pause after she swallowed the last few pieces of the bacon strip, then rolled onto her back. "Remember that time when we were stuck on an island together? After the little cruise ship accident... At the time Rio and I had been apart a lot, and the cruise was supposed to be fixing that. ...I guess when we were stuck on the island together I was still feeling needy. I might have had an odd daydream or two."

_No shit. I ruin your vacation, and you fantasized about -me-? You are into some weird shit, princess, and I am just fine with that._

"I got a favor to ask. You don't have to come if you don't want, but it'd be helpful..." Pizzazz rolled onto her own back after eating the last of the toast. _Not sure I can look her in the eye for this... this feels awkward._ "I want to try to talk to my dad before he hears about what we did yesterday. I thought... maybe if he knows that it wasn't just me being drunk, or a publicity stunt, maybe everything would be okay. So I was hoping..."

"That you'd have your girlfriend there with you?" Jerrica rolled over to face her, taking Pizzazz's hand in her own. "I'd love to. I'm sure if your dad saw us together, and you explained, everything will be alright."

Pizzazz sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling. "I wish I could believe that, princess... I uhm... Can I borrow your makeup? All I have with me is lipstick and mascara, and I don't... I should look professional, right? Do I still put my hair up?"

"We can work something out, don't sweat it. Just let me get dressed real quick and we'll-"

Before Jerrica could finish Pizzazz had rolled over on top of her and had her pinned to the bed. A devious smile spread across her face as she hung over top. "But I haven't finished my breakfast just yet."

 

 

 

"I feel like a loser. I feel like I should give myself a wedgie and dunk my head in a toilet bowl." Pizzazz scowled, looking at herself in the mirror in her father's office while she and Jem waited for him to get back from lunch.

She was wearing a long black dress with white frills long the neck that dipped to reveal only a small bit of cleavage, the sleeves were short and stopped a few inches after padded shoulders that horizontally jutted out away from her at the ends. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail by Jem, who had insisted the whole way that it "brought out her eyes", which were now surrounded more conventionally by light pink eye-shadow and a dark purple eyeliner, without any of her usual intricate makeup. Her eyebrows and her orange lipstick were still her own, at least.

"You look fine... mostly. I don't know why you wanted this dress in -those- colors, Synergy can do so much. You look like the mother from the Addams Family got into corporate raiding."

Pizzazz frowned. "I wanted to stop by the house first. I could have just brought one of my own dresses, but no, you kept saying we were going to be late."

"I mean, it is your fault we were running behind schedule," Jem pulled Pizzazz into the chair next to her and gave her a tight hug around the shoulders, "Not that I'm complaining. That was... outrageous."

_I may not be good at cooking but I'm pretty damn great at eating, now aren't I princess?_

"I'm glad you enjoyed." Pizzazz awkwardly blurted out. _Oh come on, you know what you were thinking sounded better than that. Make with the thought-words._

"I've never actually done anything like that before... it was certainly an interesting experience. I just, I wasn't prepared for that thing you did with the-"

"I've... I've had a few gos before. I might have picked up a few things along the way. ...It wasn't weird, right? I felt like I was making it weird."

Jem giggled. "It wasn't -weird-. ...surprising, yes. ...good surprising, though. I promise."

Pizzazz was about to turn and give Jem a quick peck on the cheek when suddenly the door next to them opened up. Out came an older man in his late fifties or early sixties, gray haired and in a dark suit. He took one look at her, let out an audible sigh, then continued over to behind his desk and sat down.

"Dad... I need to talk to you about something." Pizzazz cleared her throat, standing up. She tensed up, staring down at her father. His expression was unreadable, beyond maybe being tired, but he always seemed tired to Pizzazz. "This is... this is Jem."

_You can do better than that, come on. Say this like you mean it, let him know you mean business this time. This is your woman, and you aren't kidding around._

"I know who she is, Phyllis. Ms. Jem and I have worked together a few times, and I've certainly had to pay her before to make up for some of your past actions, now haven't I?" He leaned forward in his chair, folding his arms over his desk top. "I have a busy day, so if we could make this quick. Eric Raymond's my 2:30 and-"

"I'm gay." Pizzazz blurted. She knew there were better ways she could have put it, but the second she heard that name she felt she was in a rush to say something before he did anything. "I'm... I'm gay. Jem is..." She found herself at a loss for words, and just found herself trailing off and gesturing awkwardly.

Jem stood up next to her and took her hand, squeezing it tightly. The pink haired cutey, dressed in a fairly professional looking blue button-up dress suit, turned to her and smiled. "You can do this, Pizzazz."

"...Jem is my girlfriend. I love her, and I want you to know that. That this... this isn't some stunt I'm doing. I love Jem, and she loves me. And that you don't have to worry about having to buy me out of any trouble anymore because I'm-"

"Cut off." He said curtly.

Pizzazz's eyes went wide, and her eyes dropped. _I'm... what? But, I..._

"Mr. Gabor, Pizzazz is just-"

"Listen here, Ms. Jem. You, I don't care about. You mind your own business, and I could see myself continuing to do business with you in the future. But Phyllis is my daughter, and I have to take a stand. This isn't the first time she's lashed out at me by delving into unnatural relationships, and I guarantee you won't be the last. I'll tell you what I told that Constance girl. I've had my fill of my daughter, and I can't take it anymore... You're free to keep her if you want. But from this moment on, I no longer acknowledge her as an heir. I'm not paying for her to continue ruining her life and making a mockery of me, and I'm not going to let her make a mockery of the family name. Now if you'll please, get out of my office. I need time to look over these papers before I terminate Mr. Raymond."

Pizzazz couldn't move, couldn't say anything. Her mind was a blank as she felt unable to form any kind of response to everything she had just heard. She knew she could hear angry words coming from Jem and directed at her father, but everything suddenly sounded so muffled. She wasn't sure how much time was passing, and put up no resistance when the time came for Jem to pull her out of the office and back outside to her car. Even the door smacking her on the knee seemed to do little to bring her back to earth.

Harvey Gabor had always been a distant man. Her mother had left them when Pizzazz was young, and she felt her dad had resented her a bit for it. She always had whatever she wanted, as her dad was always open to spending his money on her, but never once had he acted like a father to her. It took him a year the first time to find out that she'd engaged in a relationship, and even then only because there had been a brief pregnancy scare. His reaction had been to uproot and move them two counties northward, putting her in a new school and miles from everyone that was involved in the incident.

_I tried to apologize... He never even heard... he just kept pretending the whole thing didn't happen, and finally went back to ignoring me._

"-self-centered egotistical asshole piece of shit." There was sound again. Pizzazz slowly turned her head to watch Jem angrily drive and swear at the top of her lungs. _Did she always swear? This doesn't sound right. None of this sounds right._ "I just... it's 1988. I thought we'd be past all of this by now. The nerve... that the two of us would date just to spite him. That wrinkly faced, bony old-" _She's cute when she swears. I want to tell her that. ...why can't I tell her that. Why isn't my mouth working._

_The one time I'm doing things that feel right... I'm not hurting anybody, dad. Yeah I made some messes, but there's no fires. Nothing's at risk of blowing up. No machines going haywire, no threats being made... I was doing good. I was behaving. Isn't that what you wanted?_

"Pizzazz? ...Pizzazz sweetie, please talk to me." The car was stopped, for how long Pizzazz wasn't sure. Jem was turned to face her, her hands on Pizzazz's knees. "God, you're still trying, I... gimme a second, I'm sorry." She popped open the glove-box and pulled out a plastic-wrapped package of tissues. "Please, everything's going to be okay, alright? I'm here for you. You've got me, now. You don't need him anymore..." She ripped open the package and started gently dabbing around Pizzazz's eyes with the tissues.

 _Am I crying? I don't feel like I'm crying._ Pizzazz looked down at the tissue wads and noticed her makeup running off onto it. _Fuck I'm crying. I'm in her car, in public, crying. ...and I'm cut off. I'm cut off. What do I do now? What will the band do? Where will Roxy and Stormer go now... and Jetta. Oh Jetta's going to run right off hearing she can't mooch off me anymore..._

"Talk to me, please. I want to help." Jerrica pulled Pizzazz into a tight embrace, forcing a small noise out of Pizzazz in the process.

_You aren't even going to want me after this, princess. I barely saved a dime off my albums..._

"Just... tell me where you live. We'll... we'll get your stuff out. We'll get some tonight, I'll call the girls. Shana's driven a moving truck before, we can load it up. You can... you can move in with me. Like I said yesterday, it's... I mean you've seen Starlight. We've got more than enough room. ...you could have your own room if you wanted, but I wouldn't exactly mind if you wanted-"

Pizzazz slowly lifted her hands up and put them at Jem's sides. With a bit of effort, she rasped out an address, and half of a sentence that sounded like "burn the place down."

 

 

 

Pizzazz had sat awkwardly on the railing along the walkway to her apartment's front door. It was still hard to talk, but she was at least more aware of her surroundings.

Just as Jem had said, Shana arrived earlier with a moving truck and the other Hologram girls in tow, as well as Kimber, Clash, and a new girl with red and yellow hair that Pizzazz hadn't met yet. She felt guilty deep down, watching everyone busting their ass off to load the truck with all of her belongings, but she just couldn't bring himself to do anything besides sit and think.

For the past few hours she'd been lost in flashback mode, as if she was dying and seeing her entire life flash before her eyes. She was finally at the events of last night, right up to when she first made out with Jem, when the pink haired seductress herself sat down next to her.

"I think you'd like Clash's girlfriend, she's too sweet... she was asking if it'd be bad time to get your autograph. I told her you weren't feeling up to it, but said maybe this weekend after you're all settled in we could do a double date." _Who's going to want my autograph now? This is the end of the Misfits. You should tell her that. Tell her she wants an autograph from a has-been, a nobody. Just some green haired goon that used to do music on her daddy's dime._

"I got in touch with Roxy, apparently she's been out of town. I told her we'd be swapping labels, but she doesn't seem to care as long as she gets paid the same. Jetta still hasn't picked up, but I'd assume that's basically what she'd say too... They both care about you though, Pizz." Stormer came around from the other side, putting her arm around Pizzazz's shoulder.

"I didn't tell her yet, Stormer. But yes, I... ...talked it over with Jerrica. Jerrica's acquired Misfits Music from your father, and merged it with Starlight Record. All assets will move to Starlight, and the Misfits branding will cease, but beyond that-"

"Stormer knows, Jerrica. I kinda let it slip." Kimber's voice came from inside the apartment, before she popped out awkwardly holding two tall floor lamps that dwarfed her in size. "Sorry, but you should know by now that when I'm tired I don't really have a filter. Especially not around someone so cute... She says she'll keep it a secret, though."

Jem let out an irritated sigh. "What if I hadn't told Pizzazz, Kimber? Wouldn't Pizzazz now know my secret identity?"

"I didn't think about that. ....Whoopsie."

Suddenly, without warning, Pizzazz let out a loud, pained laugh. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her, as the laughing got louder and she slammed a fist down into the railing.

Kimber pouted and set the two lamps down. "I didn't think it was that funny..."

"Pizzazz, are you okay?"

_No, Jem. No I'm really, really not._

"Out of everything that's happened today, we're going to be concerned over Bruce Wayne here, and her struggle to be Batman another day." Pizzazz let out a loud sigh. The laughter had hurt her jaw and chest, and she felt weaker all of a sudden, but at least now she felt she could move unrestricted again.

"Hey, she speaks. ...and reads comics. Told you all of those were hers, Aja!" Kimber shouted down over the railing.

"It's Roxy that's practically illiterate. Pizzazz reads all the time, it's just generally comics. A whole bunch of comics."

 _I read non-comics too. Just, not often. Way to make it sound like I'm some kind of nerd, Stormer. Thanks. I'm so glad I have you here with me, defending my image. While everyone sees me in this..._ Pizzazz looked herself over. She wasn't wearing the black and white dress anymore, but her usual stage outfit. She lifted her hands above her head and felt at her hair, feeling that back in its place too. She shot Jem a confused look.

"You didn't seem comfortable with how you looked earlier, and people were coming. I thought maybe once you snapped out of it you'd be angry having people see you like that, so I had Synergy help out..."

 _You... ...you did this, for me?_ Pizzazz's eyes started tearing up again, and she lept onto Jem and amorously embraced her. "You... thank you..." She squeaked out, kissing her on the cheek repeatedly.

Kimber and Stormer exchanged pleased glances and watched, smiling.

"You two are adorable!" a shout came down from below.

_Maybe this won't be so bad. I can kick this situation's ass, and I've got you right alongside me, wearing your own asskicking boots. Maybe I'll bring you up to my level, princess. Maybe whenever I'm at the controls of that wrecking ball, bringing down dad's mansion, you'll be there with me. ...or ready at the plunger to set the explosives._

"These lamps, the bed, a table, and the TV are basically the last of it, so we'll be leaving here in a bit if you two want to go ahead and head home. You both look like you could use the rest." Shana offered as she carried Pizzazz's prized chartreuse flying v guitar out.

Jem pulled back a bit from the embrace to look Pizzazz in the eyes. "That sound good? Maybe this time I could cook for you, if you'll tell me what you want."

Pizzazz thought for a moment what kind of sassy remark she could make to that, but eventually just settled on a nod. _I feel like a truck ran me over, I just want to lay in your bed again. ...and maybe make out a little. ...and maybe a taco. But mostly I just want to make out in bed. And also a taco._

 

 

 


	6. Identity Problems

_So what's it going to be then? Do I get my revenge now, simply knowing their life will never be the same, or do I drag this out for an eternity? Picking away at their sanity day after day, binding them to my will as I drain what will they have to cling to this mortal coil, all the while making them regret ever second guessing me._

“...yeah I guess you can rehire him. I'm sure he's good for something.” Pizzazz messily responded, bits of taco dropping from her mouth and onto the table they shared. Jem had taken her to a nice Mexican restaurant across the street from the apartment complex she was currently vacating, and she had wasted no time in cramming as many hard-shell tacos down her throat as she could, each one slathered in the hottest sauces they had available.

“I'm sure Eric won't be so bad to have around when he's having to work for me, I guess. It's sweet that you'd want to look out for him, considering how angry you were yesterday.”

_ Yes. Sweet. Let's go with that.  _ “Yep. I am the sweetest. That's what everyone says.”  _ I will devour his head like I devoured these meats. What is best in life, Pizzazz? To torment your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the excitement of your woman.  _ Her lips stretched and curled upward, leaving her with a smile fit for taunting rabbit-chasing little girls.

Jem choked, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable. “You... ...look scary when you're trying to be sweet.”

_ Oh you haven't seen anything yet, Jerrica. I am recharged. I have food in me, I've slept... ...mostly. And now I've got my motivation. I've got the energy I need, I feel like I could win a fist fight here right and now.  _ “I'm sorry. How's your salad?” Pizzazz feigned the sweetest voice she could, but the big toothy grin didn't change.

“It's... it's alright. …So. Tomorrow's Friday, so I'm going to be gone for most of the day with the band. Normally we don't have two charity events planned in a single week but none of us really expected the first one to pull in anything.”

_ And who do you have to thank for that one, princess? ...Wait, I paid ten grand do date you. I dated you. I got cut off for dating you. ...now we're roomies. Did I basically just pay several months of rent in advance? Am I charity now? _

“Don't want me to come?” Pizzazz's Cheshire grin floundered a bit. She reached over towards Jem's taco salad and broke off a piece of the shell, dipping it into the meat. “Not another dating thing is it?”

Jem eyed the taco piece and smirked. “It's nothing like that, it's just nothing you'd want to go to. Fancy dress, mingling with rich people, trying to make connections. I'm going as Jerrica so it's not exactly going to be an outrageous fun time.”

_ What is she smiling about? ...Are laughing at me stealing your food? Is this funny to you? Is this a game? I'll show you.  _ Without warning Pizzazz slipped the shell piece into Jem's mouth, then brushed her fingertips against her lips. “Don't you mean going as yourself? Or are you Jem, wearing a Jerrica mask when you feel like it?”

Jem blushed deeply, shuddering away from the public display of affection. “I... I mean. I'm, I 'm Jerrica. Deep down I'll always be Jerrica. You know what I mean.”

“Am I the Catwoman to your Batman now?” Pizzazz giggled, a little too sinisterly.  _ Wait, is that too nerdy? That seems too nerdy. Don't be a dork, Pizzazz. Own this. _

“I don't get that reference, sorry. Kimber would, she was always a huge comic geek...”  _ Ugh it was, it was too nerdy. Come on Pizzazz, do better. Do something only a non-geek would do.  _

Pizzazz started down at her empty plate for awhile, then back up at Jem.  _ No, geeks can have awkward silences too. Do something else. Maybe say something? Say literally the first thing that comes to mind. _

“So, with these holograms, can I just strut around naked and have everyone think I'm wearing clothes, but they're just projected on me?”

_ Real smooth, Pizz. So smooth. _

Jem opened her mouth to answer, then closed it. A few second passed and she opened it again, before sighing and closing it again.

_ And you broke her. First date just the two of you, and your conversation pieces are Eric Raymond's future, comic book heroes and their love interests, and whether or not it's streaking if nobody can tell. You should finish the date off by telling her unflattering stories from high school. Ooh, ooh, sing to her from Pirates of Penzance. _

Pizzazz buried her face in her hands and rested them on the table. “I'm not good at this, I'm sorry. I'm 27 and I haven't had a girlfriend since Reagan took office, and the closest thing I've had to a boyfriend in that same time period was getting strung along by Riot last year.”

_ Well there goes all that energy again, built up and lost just like that. Boy, dating sure is fun. Was it like this back then, too? _

She felt two warm hands cupping her fingertips, stroking at them. “You're doing fine. Frankly I'm enjoying you opening up to me, I want to know all about you that you're willing to talk about.”

Pizzazz peeked up with one eye. “It's all boring, and you'd never look at me the same way again.”

“I'm not looking at you now the same way I looked at you a week ago, and I'd say that's a change that benefits us both.” Jem smiled and gave a wink. “Come on... tell me about your previous girlfriend? Do you still talk to her?”

_ Ehhh.... might as well. It's better you find out now and judge me here than later. I could take getting dumped tonight. Hell, let's go for a hat trick. _

Pizzazz let out a deep sigh and turned in her side of the booth, stretching out her legs and leaning herself against the wall. “When I was 12, my best friend was this dork by the name of Aaron. Skinny as a twig, thick glasses, looked like he walked out of some bad movie from the 50's. I was... honestly I wasn't that different. I was a complete dork that wanted nothing more than to learn violin, or become a veterinarian. We spent a lot of time together...”

“I can't say I'm not surprised, but the idea of you as a nerd is actually kinda cute. Weren't we talking about your girl-”

Pizzazz held up a hand to interrupt Jem, then started back up. “We eventually decided to try out dating, since we were both made fun of for being dateless losers. Then summer break came. I turned 13, and I started noticing... things. ...Girls. I found some magazines my dad had piled up after mom went away. Aaron, on the other hand...”  _ How do I even begin to put this one? God I haven't told anyone this... _

“Did something happen to him?” Jem seemed genuinely concerned, leaning over the table and intently watching Pizzazz's face.

“We both immediately went to talk in private when I got back from my summer abroad... I was going to tell him the truth, that I thought maybe I liked girls. ...Only it wasn't Aaron I ended up talking to that night. In a way, it had never actually been Aaron. ...Like you had never been Jem, I guess.”

Jem tilted her head, confused. “Was Aaron gay too?”

“No, no... ...but Alicia sure was.” Pizzazz swallowed hard. “She had made some discoveries about herself over those two months, apparently. Or maybe she'd been working that out even longer, and just hadn't told me... She said she had always been Alicia deep down, but that she'd understand if I didn't see that, or if I did and didn't want to continue the relationship. ...Lucky for her, I guess.”

There was a long, awkward silence. Pizzazz lightly tapped her heel against the plastic backing of her seat, mulling over all of the responses she might get in return.

“Your first girlfriend was transgender? Can only imagine how hard that must have been for them that early, coming out... did they tell anyone else?”

_...Maybe little miss perfect's goody-goody act is more than just an act after all. How in the hell did she end up with me, then?  _ “I pushed them into it. I told them that they would be brave, because I only dated brave chicks. I let her dress in my clothes to school. ...they bullied her. They bullied the living fuck out of her.”

Jem reached over and placed a hand on Pizzazz's shoulder, rubbing it to try to comfort her. “You were just trying to help her, I mean...”

“And I did. In my own way. ...I got mean. I got... violent. Broken noises, chipped teeth. By the end of the month my reputation had changed. I'd gone from class dweeb to schoolyard bully. People shuddered in fear when they saw me, and they knew not to pick on my girlfriend, because I would rain vengeance down upon them. ...Slowly started dressing the part. Went through a sort of Sid & Nancy phase with Alicia... I was her Sid, I guess. Everything went great... ...until one stupid night. There was... a brief pregnancy scare, and my dad ended up finding out everything. ...He moved us, took out a restraining order against Alicia and her family, threatened them with his lawyers, and took measures to prevent me from ever seeing her again. ...That was my last relationship. Eight years now.”

_ Not so tough now, am I. Violent rebel? Angry warrior queen of new wave? Angry geek protecting her girlfriend. _

There was some sniffling, the Jem's voice cracked out “That's... I can't even imagine how that has to have felt. I can never fully comprehend how you must have felt, and all I want to do is go back there and give your dad another piece of my mind.”

Pizzazz tilted her head to look at Jem, arching an eyebrow. “What, no jokes? No snide remarks about this tougher than nails attitude I push on everyone, this better than everyone that crosses my path mentality, this...” she trailed off into irritated noises.  _ I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Why am I so damn angry here. _

“I... why would I make jokes? Pizzazz. ...I love you, you know that. ...I guess you haven't exactly been shown a lot of that though, have you...” Jem slid out from her side of the booth and walked over to Pizzazz's, standing in front of her. She tapped her fingers at the toes of Pizzazz's heels. “Scooch.”

Pizzazz furrowed her brow and raised the side of her upper lip to show teeth, but moved her feet off the seat anyway. “Look, if this is going to be some issue for you or something, we should-”

Jem's arms were quickly around Pizzazz's waist as she sat down, jerking her forward into an embrace that knocked a loud 'oof' from the angry Misfit. “I just have to work harder to show you how I feel. You are going to feel loved, even if -I- have to get violent with others. ...I mean, not that I want to. ...Violence is never the option, but-”

“Jem people are looking. A lot of people. Everyone is looking at us right now.” Pizzazz's eyes were wide, darting across the restaurant as whole families had turned from their meal to see what all of the commotion had been. “I can't push out albums if they see me as a hugger!”

Jem only squeezed harder. “I'm the one hugging. I don't really see Hologram album sales plummeting just because 'Singer found to hug cute green fluffs of hate in crowded Mexican restaurants.'”

“...I'm not cute. I'm mean. I'm angry. I'm-”

“Adorable and fluffy and I could rest my head in your head all night. What do you even use in this thing?” Jem began nuzzling her face into Pizzazz's hair, earning her yet more irritated noises. “You're like the shag carpeting my dad used to have in his office, just a lighter shade of green!”

Pizzazz let out a few pained noises, but refrained from actually trying to push Jem off.  _ I just want this to stop, how do I get this to stop. Nobody's ever going to take me seriously again, I... I've got it! _

“Ooh!” Jem exclaimed, though more excitedly than Pizzazz had hoped. “Pizzazz, that... not so rough there. ...at least not here.” She said in a hushed tone. She pushed at Pizzazz's chest until her earlobe was relinquished from her bite. “And here I was starting to think you were as uncomfortable as I am doing things out in public.”

_ Oh god she liked it. ...I wonder what else she likes.  _

A deep frown sank across Pizzazz's face.

_ Oh god what if Jerrica's kinkier than I am. Beware the quiet ones, that's what Jetta always said about Stormer anyway. _

“We should probably head back home. It's getting a bit late, and I need to be sure Kimber remembers what we're doing tomorrow, she's been a little, well. She has other things on her mind. Stormer's stolen her away from me, I guess.” Jem said jokingly.

_ I hate you so much, Jetta. _

 

 

 

“So, how is this going to work out anyway? Do you want to keep sleeping with me, or am I getting my own room?”  _Or are we getting a bigger room? With a bigger bed. ...and a hot tub. Princess you are getting me a hot tub._

Pizzazz stood inside of the back of the moving van, eyeing the bits of furniture up front that used to decorate her cozy studio apartment. It hadn't been much, but it was right in the middle of four different clubs and three different bars, and only a short walk from the beach. That last part alone had made up a sizable chunk of the rent, but it was worth it, even if she almost never went.  _I just have to -have- the nice apartment, and someone else has to -not-._

“Both, really. I always felt that even in a long term relationship, both partners should have their own rooms. That way if you ever need your own space, you've got it. Sometimes we all need privacy, right?”

_Do you really? Have anymore interesting secrets you need to keep from me? ...I wonder if she has a third identity in there somewhere. I barely have the energy to maintain -one-._

Jem poked her head into the van, trying to see what Pizzazz was staring at. “You know, Clash would be really happy to hear what you told me tonight. Her girlfriend Blaze, the one that wanted the autograph, is transgender. She seemed worried how you'd react, but I told them you were sweeter than you put on...”

_You did what? How the hell am I sweeter than I let on? I knocked out a guy's front tooth once, permanent tooth. It gave him a whistle every time he opened up that ugly mouth of his, like some ugly pig-like steam train. ...oh, of course, -that's- what puts a smile on your face, Pizz._

“I'm really not.” Pizzazz stroked a hand down a lime green guitar case wedged between her currently-vertical couch and a bookcase.  _I need to do something again, it's been way... way too long. I just need the inspiration. This has got to be the inspiration, right? Write a whole fucking album about this mess. A rock opera. A ROCK. OPERA. With a light show, and fog, and-_ “LASERS!”

There was a light cough behind her. “Lasers?”

“...Just thinking out loud. Don't mind me, princess.” Pizzazz gave the guitar case a yank outward, then dragged it out of the back.

Jem lifted up the back of the case, smiling as Pizzazz turned to see what she was doing.  _I can carry this myself, you know. I'm not weak._ “I have to admit, initially I found it a little irritating when you kept calling me princess... I guess I'm just so used to you talking down to me.”

“Well excuuuuuse me, princess.” Pizzazz gave the case a bit of a jerk forward, then lead Jem inside the house and onto the stairs with it.

“You didn't let me finish. ...At -first- it was irritating. ...It's grown on me. Rio never gave me a name like that. It's sweet.”

_Rio this, Rio that. Could you talk -more- about yourself? ...Am I getting jealous again? Oh god I'm getting jealous. I'm getting jealous of that stupid, purple haired freak again._ “How did you two end up breaking off, anyway?” 

Jem stopped at the top of the stairs, relaxing her hold on the guitar. She hung her head down, sighing softly.  _Fuck. That wasn't fair. I... ugh, say a thing. Make this better._

“He just stopped trusting me. I was never able to tell him about Jem, and he grew increasingly paranoid over it. I came close, a few times, he just... he'd never let me finish, he'd get angry because he thought I was cheating on him or trying to get away from him. One night he said that if I couldn't trust him, I should just leave him. So, I did.”

_You are such an asshole, you know that? Hey, write a rock opera about that. 'Pizzazz, Queen Bitch.'_

“Oh damn it come here...” Pizzazz dropped the case and came over to drape her arms over Jem's shoulders, pulling her close. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. ...Rio's a dick, and you can keep all the secrets you want, alright? I mean shit, the hell did it matter to me that you are Jem? ...Jerrica? You're the same person in the end, and I love you. ...dweeb.” She kissed at Jem's forehead , then tilted her face up to meet her own. “You got that?”

Jem only nodded, her eyes a little moist. _Oh no, don't you dare cry. I am not being responsible for you crying right now. I'm... gah. Roll the dice, Pizzazz._

“If you'll cheer up I'll make dessert. Will that help? Will you stop crying if I make dessert? Because I'm going to cry if you cry, and I'm not making dessert while crying.”

“No, no, I-” Jem quickly put her hands to her eyes, rubbing them dry. “I'm fine, it's okay. Let's... let's just get this to the room, alright? We don't need dessert. Let's just... let's just keep you from doing that.” She reached back down to grab at the guitar case and carry it over to her door, opened it, then carried it inside, leaving Pizzazz still at the top of the stairs dumbfounded.

_What was all that about? I was just trying to do the right thing. Did I do that? Did... wait a second._ “Is something wrong with my cooking!?” Pizzazz shouted down the hall.

“KINDA! ...YES! MAYBE! VERY MAYBE!” Jem shouted back from the room.

_Why I … I TRIED! BREAKFAST IS WEIRD!_ “My breakfast was awesome! You just aren't used to having someone so awesome cook for you! You'll get used to it, you'll be begging every morning for me to handle your eggs!”

“...Do you just like, not listen to yourself ever?! There are -kids- here!”

“It only sounds dirty if you have a dirty mind, princess! ...And I'm gonna get ice cream and not share any!” Pizzazz shouted back as she descended down the stairs, paying no mind to the sudden opening of a few other doors.

 

 

 

“I want a bowl too! Or else I'm telling Jerrica you said bad words.”

“A bunch of bad words. I've never even heard half of those, and I was there when Kimber broke her toe.”

Deirdre, Ashley, and Becky, and Lela had heard 'dessert' and 'ice cream' enough times during Jem and Pizzazz's argument that they had all departed from their rooms and raced to the kitchen to see what was happening, only to find a particularly angry Pizzazz had gotten an ice cream scoop lodged into the carton of ice cream and couldn't pull it back out. The proceeding swearing, banging, and groaning had given them a a few moments of entertainment before they were caught.

“Fine! Fine! Just... keep it down. She even let you eat this shi... ...stuff. Late at night? I don't want Jem on my ass...case.” _Have I always sworn this much, or do kids just bring this out of me? God I'm going to be surrounded by these things from now on, aren't I?_

“Not usually, but we won't tell if you won't. Right gang?” Deidre smiled ear to ear, and looked around for a response. “Right?” She took off her brown and tan hat and batted at Ashley with it.

“...Are you and Jem really girlfriends? Because Deidre and Lela just said you were messing with me.” Ashley ignored the hat and instead poked at Pizzazz's arm for her attention.

“Ashley, seriously. Pizzazz was just messing with you. Girls date boys, you'll get that when you're older.”

“I am older! I'm 16, you know. I like boys! But like, Kimber doesn't. Kimber likes girls, and there's nothing wrong with that is there Pizzazz?”

_All I wanted was ice cream. ...Actually I didn't even want ice cream. I wanted to get -her- ice cream. What the hell are you kids even talking about? How much ice cream do I have to shove down everyone's throats before they shut up?_

“Yes, we're girlfriends. Yes, I also was messing with you. No, there's nothing wrong with that. Yes, I will make sure you all get sent to a convent if you don't shut up and help me with this ice cream!” Pizzazz slammed the carton down on the counter again, finally freeing the scoop from its icy tomb. _And now I'm the ice queen of the Britons. Huzzah._

Ashley, Deidre, and Lela each exchanged confused and surprised glances. Becky, however, chose to speak up. “So, I mean if one of us was. Hypothetically.” She looked around at her friends, and then closed her mouth.

_...Oh god no. Please don't do this to me kid. I'm not the one you talk to this about. I've never given good advice in my life. Why couldn't you talk to Jem?_

“If Kimber and Jem like girls, I don't see why it would be wrong. Even if Pizzazz likes girls and Shana kept telling us to not do anything Pizzazz does.” Ashely spoke before Pizzazz could attempt to construct a response.

_She -what-?_

“I just hadn't said anything because I was worried you guys would kick me out of the band over it... “Becky was looking down at her feet awkwardly. Suddenly the other three girls were over at her side of the counter comforting her, and Pizzazz was left flabbergasted with her not-so-useful ice cream scoop and a frosty chunk of rainbow sherbet that refused to plop out of it.

_I did it! Handled that situation well. ...Yeah. I can get used to this. Kids are easy. Sorting themselves out. Ice cream, that's hard. Now I can brag to Jem 'Hey guess who just helped one of your kids out of the closet' and she'll be all 'Which one' and I'll say... ...fuck. ...'Brown haired one. ...Friends with the kid in the hat. And the 20 year old. And the kid with the ugly hair.' ...and she'll be all 'Pizzazz you're horrible with children, I want you out of my room.' ...Fuck._

“Thanks, Pizzazz.” Becky had started hugging her sometime during her angry inner monologue, but she hadn't noticed until now. “No matter what Shana and Aja say, I think you're awesome.”

_What the hell does that mean? What are they saying about me?!_

“You know what... We don't need bowls. Is there like a nice couch around here? Me and the Misfits used to do this thing where we would just pass the carton around and talk. You kids tell me about yourself, and I'll tell you about me. ...and the pink haired one.”

_I'll show all of them. I'm gonna be so great at this. All these Starlight brats are gonna be eating out of my hands. ...Metaphorically._

 

 

 

“So what, Kimber was trying to do an impression of him? What went wrong?” Pizzazz hunched over intently, gripping the ice cream scoop in her hand as she dug her toes into the rug.

“Well, the flower pot that -Rio- kicked was pretty light. The one Kimber kicked, well, ...Oh, geez it's Jem!”

_What, that doesn't make- oh fuck it is Jem._

For the last hour Jem had gotten the other four girls in a circle in the living room and they had been sharing stories and devouring Jem's ice cream. First the container of rainbow sherbet, then moving on to a container of moose-tracks.

“What exactly is going on here? Are you guys eating ice cream on the carpet!? It's after 10, you guys know you're supposed to be in bed by 9.” Jem marched up to Pizzazz and gently tugged at her arm to get her to stand up.

“Jem, I want a girlfriend as awesome as Pizzazz is! You're lucky. She told us all about what all we would need to do to get our band off the ground, and that it's okay to be gay, and that the reason why anyone says anything bad about her is because they're jealous!” Becky excitedly shouted at her, leaping from her seat on the ground.

Jem gave Pizzazz a dirty look, slowly shifting into confusion. “I... ...Becky, I didn't know. I'm glad you could come out, I just wish you had said something sooner. I... ...thank you, Pizzazz. ...you're so helpful.”

_Damn straight I am. ...Wait a second you said that sarcastically. I AM THE MOST HELPFUL! I'm an inspiration!_

“And badass! She threatened to kick the ass of anyone that made fun of me!” Becky piped in.

_Ixnay on the et-thray._ “Butt! I said butt! ...Kids?” Pizzazz sheepishly rubbed at the back of her head and let out a nervous laugh.

“Girls, go on up to your room. I need to have a talk with _Phyllis_ here.” _You did not just call me that. Princess, I will... ...I don't actually know what I'll do. But I'll do -something-. Mark my words._

“Aww... fiiiine.”

Jem patiently waited until everyone but Pizzazz had left, then slowly sat down cross legged next to Pizzazz. She took a deep breath, then let out a long sigh.

_I was just trying to do the right thing, how the hell did I mess this up?_

“Thanks. ...I mean that. I'm sorry, I sounded curt back there. I just... I wasn't sure what was going on. You hadn't exactly been a positive influence on any of the girls in the past, you know...”

_Since when have I done -anything- to these kids? ...Well. ...I might have bribed one of them into doing my work for me once or twice. ...and I guess the others did look familiar. But honestly half your kids sound exactly alike, how the hell am I supposed to keep track of them?_

“Is there any more of that ice cream? ...I could go for some dessert after all.” Jem scooted closer, stretching her arm behind Pizzazz to prop herself up as she leaned her head against Pizzazz's shoulder. “Shame that isn't the rainbow stuff, I think that's my favorite. At least that's still hidden in the back... I could get it if you want, actually. But it'd been sitting back there so long it's probably a-”

“Multicolored rock. ...Naaah. Let's... You just stay right here with me, princess. Put your cares and your rainbows behind you, and tell me about how sorry you are because you know Becky was totally right. You are soooo lucky to be dating me.” Pizzazz began running her fingers through Jem's hair as she handed her the container of ice cream with her free hand.

Jem smirked. “Let's leave it as us being lucky we have each other. ...And I'm glad to see you're good with kids. It's maybe a little important to me.”

“Damn straight I'm good with kids. I'm good with people.”

_...Wait. The hell does she mean? ...Is she going to want kids? Am I going to have kids with Jerrica Benton? Well, not -have- obviously. But... ...Oh god what if we adopt. I'd be the worst mom. I mean, I'd be a better mom than mine, it's not like I'd run out on Jem immediately after, but..._

“Are you alright, honey? You stopped breathing.”

_...I mean on one hand it'd be like having a minion for life, right?_

“You're scaring me, Pizzazz.”

“I'm fine, just thinking, is all.”

_What is best in life, Pizzazz? To torment your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear..._

“...so... Hey, how comfy do you think this rug is?”

 


	7. Bored And Unleashed

“Look, I feel weird asking this but can you do some cleaning while we're gone? I'm in a bit of a hurry and well, there's ice cream in the carpet. There's eggs in the bed. The kitchen... I don't even know where to begin, I don't know who is responsible for that one and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm blaming you,” Jerrica took a deep breath, checking herself out in her bedroom mirror and adjusting her blue lame dress. “...but I love you and I do blame you. ...Love you?”

Pizzazz frowned. _I can't find anything in there! It's not my fault you live in an overly organized mess. I miss just having everything in eyesight, I never even used cabinets._ “Why can't I come again? I could get dressed, I can behave myself. Hell I could easily shake money out of those bastards to get for the kids.”

“Because... well, primarily, -Jerrica- has to be there, Pizzazz. Jerrica, me. Jem's going to be there as a hologram on stage, but that's really all. “

“So? It's not like I'm ashamed to being seen around you when you aren't 'outrageous'. If anything I look better in comparison.” Pizzazz's frown twisted into a mean grin as she walked behind Jem and draped her overs over her shoulders. “Everyone will be all 'there's the real charity, look at Pizzazz dating someone so mundane'.”

Jerrica held Pizzazz's hands over her heart and smiled at her in the reflection. “How sweet,” She snarked. “But you have to remember, it's Jem that everyone thinks you're dating. It was Jem at the fair, it was Jem at the restaurant, it was Jem that was seen visiting your father with you... Publicly, you're not dating Jerrica. ...I mean me.”

_Ouch. ...no really, ouch. That actually really hurt, Princess._

She slowly let go and backed over to the bed, sitting down and hugging at her knees, still looking over at Jerrica. “So what... whenever you're Jerrica, we're not dating?”

“It's... it's not like that, Pizzazz.” Jerrica turned and walked back to her, sitting next to her on the bed and putting her arm around her. “We're together, no matter who I am. But... look people are barely going to accept Jem being in a gay relationship. They're certainly not going to accept that Jem, Jerrica Benton, and Pizzazz are in a gay three-way. So it's more like... you're still dating Jerrica, but if we're going to be seen anywhere as a couple I need to be Jem. And I think we both know right now that you're going to want to be, well...”

_...Be what? What, are you implying I can't go to this thing and keep my hands to myself?_

“Well, I mean not that I mind how affectionate you've been. Frankly it's been amazing, you're more physical than anyone I've ever been with. It's just that could backfire on us in this situation. You get that, right?”

_So, what, be colder to you and I get invited places? Gee, sure are rewarding for good behavior now aren't you._

“Now, I really need to get going. Please, don't hold this against me, okay? Just... you look sad. Please, look, you don't need to clean, I can do that when I get back, alright? This thing's going to run late so don't expect me home till 10, though. If you get hungry, there's money on the dresser, order enough pizza for the girls too okay?”

Before Pizzazz could respond Jerrica had kissed her on the cheek and darted out of the room. Now there she was. Alone, miserable feeling, and for whatever reason yet again wearing Jerrica's ugly blue-and-pink striped hot dog selling dress.

_No, no that's not okay. I'll show you. I'll handle being alone so well you'll never want to leave me alone again! This place will be spotless! HELL, I'LL COOK FOR THE KIDS! ...no, that's going too far. ...Is she doing this on purpose? Is this reverse psychology? Is it working? Why do I keep asking myself this shit, I've got no answers._

Pizzazz quickly gave chase after her, foregoing the steps as she opted to slide her but down the railing of the stairs to catch up to Jerrica, who was already opening the front door.

“You hold up! I'm going to clean the hell out of this place! And another thing, how dare you blame me for the mess! I'm not the one who flung ice cream all over the living room during her orgasm! It's not my fault!”

From Pizzazz's side came the sound of throat clearing and an awkward whistle. She hadn't noticed that the other three Holograms were also there and waiting.

“You... ...the living room? ...I eat in there.” Kimber whimpered.

_Well apparently so do I, Kimber. Apparently so do I._

“The kids sit in there! What if someone had seen?!” Shana took to chastising Jerrica rather than Pizzazz.

“I... ...It was. ...It was late at night. It was her idea! Why are you yelling at me for it!?” Jerrica pointed at Pizzazz, quick to throw her under the bus. “I thought we were just going to sit and eat ice cream!”

“Pizzazz doesn't know better, you do!”

“I -eat- in there!” Kimber squealed.

Pizzazz opened her mouth, but Aja spoke up first “I think they do too, Kimber.”

_You bitch that was my line._

“And don't pretend like you and Stormer haven't made use of the kitchen for uses beyond its intended purpose.” Aja added.

_...-I- eat in there!_

“Can we please get going before I die from embarrassment? Please? Can we... this is more than anyone ever needed to know about my sex life.” Jerrica hung her head and rapidly gestured out the open door.

“Pffft. Everyone probably had you pegged as an exhibitionist already given your attention-craving, and you're so bossy they all probably had you pegged as a top to begin with.” Pizzazz grinned evilly, getting far too much enjoyment out of the humiliation she was leveling against her girlfriend.  _I mean it's only fair, she embarrassed the hell out of me last night at the restaurant, right?_

Jerrica looked up and stared Pizzazz in the eyes, her own twitching. 

_...Okay maybe I went too far this time._

“Is 'pegged' really the word you want to go for, Pizzazz? Especially since you just casually admitted to being a bottom.” Kimber said mockingly.

_I... what does that even mean?_

“Okay I think if we don't leave now someone's going to throw a punch, so let's get going! Pizzazz, don't burn the place down. Jerrica, please, go.” Shana practically pulled Jerrica outside, and before Pizzazz could collect her thoughts she was alone again.

She slowly sat down on the bottom step and waited for awhile, staring at the door. Tapping a barefoot to the beat of a song in her head, drumming her fingers across the step, eventually whistling without remembering what the song was.  _What do I even do now? This is the first time I've really been alone in a few days, I think I wanted this._

_I wonder how much this place cost._ After a few minutes she had taken to laying back against the steps, as uncomfortable as it was, and looking up at the ceiling.  _Wait, didn't she win this place? After the last one burned down. ...Did I do that? I don't even remember anymore._

A few of the kids had gone down and up the stairs as she had laid there, but she didn't take notice of any of them. One of them may have stopped to ask if she was alright, but after not receiving a reply she had continued on her merry way.

“I could unpack my junk. ...I don't really want to do that alone, though. I guess I could... Wait. I've got it. I've got it!”

Pizzazz pulled herself up and quickly ran back up the stairs and into Jem's room, flinging herself onto the bed with such force that the sheets untucked themselves and small bit of scrambled egg lept upward, a long since abandoned plate flung off the tray it had been on and crashed onto the floor, shattering loudly.

_I... shit. Oh well, I was going to clean anyway, right? And I know just who can help me._

She reached over to the bedside table and pulled the phone close by, quickly dialing out the first number that came to mind.

“Stormer. Roxy's back in town, right? Good, yeah. Jetta made an appearance yet? Get them together and get over here, I need some extra pairs of arms and legs. ...No, Clash gets a break. You guys need to break a sweat, you're getting lazy on me. Good, you've got 30 minutes. ...wait. Hey Stormer? ...What does pegged mean? ...Stormer?”

 

 

 

Pizzazz stood in the center of the currently empty room that would eventually be her own. The walls were a light and faded pink with a white border along the bottom, the floors were a dark and polished wood, and a wide three-paneled window was centered on the back wall with a beautiful view of the backyard.

_Yuck. I need to get some carpet, and some paint. I'm thinking orange wallpaper, some nice neon red carpeting... get some good pink shades to cover up that window so I don't have the sunlight assaulting my eyes any time I come in here to sober up. Hell maybe I'll just put my shelves over it._

She began absentmindedly flipping the light switch for the room off and on, off and on, off and on. There was so much natural light coming in that it didn't seem to actually matter, but still she persisted.  _I bet I could decorate this room so fabulously that she'll never want to go back to her own. She'll wake me up late at night, 'Oh Pizzazz I can't sleep without you. Please, I'll do anything, let me in your comfy... ...four year old futon that you slump on the ground because you're lazy.'_

“Where do you think she keeps her diary?! Oh this is rich, look at these ugly knickers!” Pizzazz heard a familiar shouting from across the hall, in Jem's room.  _Oh fuck, no. You're not supposed to be in there._

She ran out of her own room and into Jem's, yanking the door open to find what she had feared. Stormer was standing just by the doorway minding her own business, Jetta was yanking various items out of Jem's closet one by one, and Roxy had been doing the same to Jem's dresser.  _Can't you control them, Stormer? No? Just had to lead them -right- to our room!?_

“What the -hell- do you think you people are doing!? I called you over here to help me move in, not trash the place!” Pizzazz stomped her foot down hard on the floor, screaming across the room at all of her band-mates.

Roxy and Stormer both turned to face her, stopping what they were doing, but Jetta continued on her search for whatever treasure she thought she could find behind the folding doors of Jem's bedroom closet, amongst the boxes and hanging clothes.

“Keep your voice down! It's not often y'get to be in the room of a Hologram. Think of what all dirt we could find buried in 'ere!” Jetta shouted behind her, still leaning into an open box of Jem's valuables.

_Oh no you aren't. You remember who LEADS this! I AM THE BOSS OF YOU! I CAN MAKE OR BREAK ANY OF YOU! I can... I can..._

Pizzazz stopped thinking. The world seemed to freeze for a moment as she walked over to the closet, raised her foot up in the air and kicked Jetta's ass forward. With haste she slid the closet doors closed, picked up a stray sweater off the ground that had been flung from the dresser, and tied the door's handles shut with it.

“Anyone else want a piece of me!? Now! Front and center!”

Jetta repeatedly banged on the doors from the inside, but Pizzazz simply leaned herself against the door and ignored her pleas.

“What exactly is even going on here, Pizz? Stormer said some shit went down with you and your dad and you were moving in here, and that we were all moving onto Jerrica's label from now on. You getting buddy-buddy with the enemy now?” Roxy placed a hand at her tip, her tone was condescending enough that Pizzazz briefly considered attempting to stuff her in the closet as well.

“I, uh. I thought it wasn't my place to tell them. I wasn't actually sure like, if you were... if you wanted anyone to know, so. I didn't fill them in on all the details like I should have.” Stormer said sheepishly, looking down and twisting the toe of her shoe into the ground.

_Oh, of course you didn't. Leaving me to do all of the work, aren't you? You weren't even going to say anything while they made this huge mess!?_

“Tell us what? ...Oh no, you're joining them aren't you? You're gonna be a Hologram, aren't you!? That's why you haven't been showing up at any practices anymore!”

“I, what? I haven't even called for any practices! And no, I'm not 'a Hologram'! I'm just, busy. I haven't felt like performing, and now I've got all this girlfriend shit!”

Roxy just stared, first at Pizzazz then at Stormer. She ran a hand through her tall mess of white hair, opened her mouth, then brought the hand back down without saying a word. She seemed to wait for someone else to say something for a few moments, then opened her mouth back up. “...Wait, you're doing the whole girlfriend thing again? You've left us for some guy again? ..It's not Riot is it?”

Pizzazz turned to Stormer, who threw her hands up in response.  _Why do you people have to make this so awkward. How many people do I have to tell I'm gay in a week? Can we just have some big press conference instead? Yeah, hi, I'm Pizzazz of the Misfits. I like chicks. Oh, I also won a few child beauty pageants where I was recorded singing Dolly Parton covers. And I'm scared of grasshoppers. And I sleep with a stuffed animal. Yeah, let's just get every embarrassing thing over with in a short few minutes and I can retreat to a hut in the woods to live the life of a hermit._

“I haven't left anyone for anything! Nothing has changed! I just don't want you wrecking my girlfriend's stuff.” Pizzazz finally blurted out.

There was a confused noise from behind the closet doors, and something whispered under breath, but beyond that the room had gone completely silent. Pizzazz looked to Stormer to say something, gesturing for her to break the awkward silence.

“So, you're gay too then? Because honestly that's a huge load off my mind.” Roxy threw herself onto Jem's bed, lying on her side and looking over to Stormer. “Honestly, I kinda thought if anyone else is the band was gay it'd be Stormer here, but I guess I was wrong. Sorry for judging you.”

“She's dating Kimber.” Pizzazz slipped in, completely deadpan.

“...Huh. So I'm the only one that decided to date someone that -isn't- a Hologram? I thought you two had better taste than that. Then again, I can't really think much of the taste for anyone that dates someone whose entire wardrobe is pastels.”

Stormer was suddenly beaming, her smile glowing as it spread ear to ear, her hands clasping together. “You have a girlfriend too!? That's awesome! Oh, oh, when can we meet her?! We could have, oh we could have a triple date! Me and Kimber, Pizzazz and Jem, and you and... ooh, ooh, who is she? Who's the lucky girl?”  _Holy shit Stormer, calm down. You get -way- too excited about other people's relationships._

“Yeah, about that. My girlfriend's in the closet.”

Stormer pouted. “So? I mean, she can trust us! It's not like we'd rat anyone out. I mean I didn't tell you Pizzazz was gay, I let Pizzazz say that, so I mean-”

“No, no. My girlfriend is in the closet.”

“...Beg your pardon?” Stormer raised an eyebrow, then turned to look at Pizzazz.

There was a knocking behind Pizzazz. “She means me, you gits!”

_Oh for the love of-_

“We can't -all- be gay!”

Stormer still didn't seem to get what was going on, just looking between the two of them with a confused look on her face.

“We were gay first! We've been dating like two years now! Hell, we -live- together! Our TV guide subscription has our name hyphenated! 'Mrs. Roxiela Pellegrini-Burns' and everything!”

Pizzazz squinted her eyes and stretched up her upper lip, releasing an extended sound of irritation as she tried to work out whatever logic Roxy had just tried to perform.  _Say something mean, but only just mean enough. Don't be too mean, Pizzazz. Don't make her cry while you're holding her... girlfriend... hostage._ “Why are both of your names on it if only she can read it?”  _That'll do Pizz, that'll do.”_

“Kimber and I have only been dating for six months, and I guess Jem and Pizzazz have only been at it for a few days now. Really is weird how this happens, isn't it? Did we all self-consciously gravitate to each other because of this?”

_Stormer I swear to god I will stuff you in this closet too._

“So like. We're just one big all gay girl band then? Like, we're the lesbian new wave answer to the Village People?”

_I can stuff BOTH of you in this closet! Then Jem will come home, and I'll have to explain to her why she keeps thinking she hears voices within the walls._

“All I wanted was help moving in.” Pizzazz slowly slumped to the floor, her head bumping repeatedly against the closet door behind her. “You're gay. You're gay. She's gay. One of Jerrica's kids is gay. Kimber's gay. Jem's gay. -I'm- gay. Is anyone here -not- gay?”

“Actually I'm bisexual.” Jetta interjected.

“Fine! Good! Yeah, that totally makes this all easier to take in, I'm sorry. Everyone ever in my life is gay, except Jetta who is half gay.”

“Is Eric gay?” Stormer asked earnestly.

_Why in the hell would I know that? But at this rate I'd just assume yes. Maybe I have some sort of Midas touch, but instead of turning things to gold I just make everything gay._

Roxy rolled onto her back, accidentally getting a mess of scrambled eggs in her hair. “He does live with that one guy with the weird hair. The one that yells if you touch him. Rat Guy.” 

_They -live- together? That... ...actually I guess that explains some things. Maybe I'm just burnt on surprises. Nothing can surprise me anymore at this point. 'Oh, hey, those two girls you hated are actually one girl. Also you don't hate her, you're madly in love with her. Oh also all of your friends are gay and seeing people behind your back. Oh also they're more knowledgeable than you are. Nothing like basically asking your younger sister to define a sex act._

“Can everyone just please go be gay while also moving my shit out of that van? So -I- can go back to being gay. And then we can have all of our big gay activities. Hell, screw the rock opera. Let's just make a big damn gay concept album about just how damn gay we are.” Pizzazz grumbled as she buried her head between her knees.

_I want to drown my face in coffee. Just one big tub of coffee. I don't care how hot it is, there's a enough makeup in this house to cover up the damage._

“Geez, Pizz. Chill. We'll help. ...What's this about a rock opera, though? Those still a thing? Like, that and concept albums kinda died with that awful Styx album.” Roxy sat back up in the bed, then scratched at her hair. “Is.... why is there eggs in her bed? I always took her for a clean freak. Is this a -strawberry-?”

Pizzazz grinned.  _Yeah I'll let -her- take the blame for that one. It's her fault for not eating all that food I made, after all._

“I wanted to do something big, something epic. Get a new, louder sound. I want something with dragons, princesses, fighting. Magic, swords, battles. Fire!”

“Great, great, yeah. We're all gay and we're going to learn magic, and we're going to leave the Shire. And maybe sometime during the next year SOMEONE WILL LET ME OUT OF THE BLOODY CLOSET!”

Pizzazz swiftly stood up and slammed a fist against the closet door. “Then you should have thought before you wrecked my girlfriend's junk! And second off, the hell is wrong with you!? We're a family! This band is a FAMILY! And you two have been keeping this shit from me!? Every single one of you and your constant secrecy! No wonder we haven't functioned as a band in months!”  _At least Kimber and I dated outside of the band! What happens if you and Roxy fight?_ “LET NOT THE MIGHTY BED OF THE MISFITS BECOME A COUCH FOR DRAMA AND DAMNED INCEST!”

“Incest?” Roxy asked.

Stormer shrugged. “...Couch?”

_I hate all of you._

“This is why we didn't tell you, Pizz. It's not that we thought you'd be like, homophobic. Just that you're kinda bossy and controlling. Also we thought that you'd worry that if half the band were dating, we'd like consolidate power and start calling the shots.”

_Okay. I can accept you two being in a relationship for two years. I can accept Eric dating rat guy. I can accept Jem and Jerrica being the same person. But I'm not going to stand here and accept Roxy making sense._

“Fuck this day I just want my furniture. Date whoever. Just move my couch.”

“The incest one?”

“Stormer I will put you in a closet.”

 

 

 

Pizzazz laid back against a wooden pool-side lounge chair she had set up in a free corner of her new room. Dressed in a pair of pink sunglasses and one of Jem's swimsuits, a dark blue one piece with a teal inverted triangle coming down from the neckline, she had been surveying the other Misfits in their work and barking orders as to where everything should go.

Her futon had come first, with a solid black sheet and pillow set and a large, thick ugly comforter designed to look like a keyboard. Then came a tall black-painted wooden bookcase, a large lime green square rug, an oversized green beanbag chair large enough for three people, a small TV and the quite-low-to-the-ground table it sat on, an ornate white vanity set, two solid oak shelves, and a long pink plush couch.

In the end there was very little space in the room for moving around, but Pizzazz was fine with cramped. She just wished she could have brought some of the stuff that had always been at her dad's home, where she usually held the band's meetings. The pool table, the fancy furniture, a fireplace, anything remotely resembling a classy or upper-class lifestyle.

 _So long spa days. I guess I could work something out with Jem. Makeshift couples spa days here, could be fun._ She furrowed her brow. _That... doesn't sound like me. Try again, Pizzazz._

“So like, where are we going to practice from now on?” Roxy was leaned over her, trying to her her attention.

_I could trick Jem into pampering me. Trick her by helping her out with a few things. I could fix up that hair of hers, give her something more attractive. Show her how a Pizzazz-girl should look. Yeah. YEAH._

“Ground control to Pizzazz, can you hear me Major Pizzazz?”

_It still sounds like something else. This place... this is doing things to me. I'm confused as hell. I need a drink. I just want to cuddle up to her and gripe about all of this. ...Fuck I really am getting too affectionate. What the hell is wrong with me?_

“Roxy, in the living area down the stairs and to the right you'll find an ugly pink shag rug, it's covered in ice cream. You take care of that. Jetta! There's food and a broken plate in Jem's bedroom. You're in charge of cleaning that up and fixing up the mess you made of her belongings. If I find out -anything- is amiss, I'm going solo and leaving you all to suffer. Then you won't need a place to practice anymore, will you?” Pizzazz said as coolly but as loudly as she could, still managing her old commanding tone. “Stormer. You stay, we need to talk.”

Roxy and Jetta both blurted out arguments and threw their hands angrily in the air, but eventually left after getting nothing out of Pizzazz. _I can still rule, that's all that matters. Right? Hell that's probably how we all found each other. Strong, attractive woman like myself. Obviously they wanted to join to get a piece of me. Shame none of them were ever my type. ...Maybe Roxy. If she'd shut up and think for once, maybe Roxy. ...No, no. Pizzazz. Push those thoughts out immediately. Clash, fine. Jem, go for it. These people are your family, and you have a girlfriend now. Cool your jets._

“What's wrong, Pizz?”

_Is it that obvious?_

“If you ever catch me being too lovey-dovey with Jem, you are under strict orders. I want you to shoot me like that dog in that horrible movie we saw at the drive in. You got that?”

Stormer laughed and sat down on the edge of the lounge chair. “You two are adorable together, though. I saw you on the cover of a tabloid while grabbing coffee earlier. The headline was sleazy, but something about the pose you two were in at the fair screamed timeless romance. Like the sailor and the nurse.”

_Stormer, I swear, I really will put you in the closet. I could pick you up right now, carry you in there, and leave you there. Do you think Jetta would lift a finger to stop me?_

“I meant it. I'm not acting myself, and I'm trusting you to step in.”

She stopped laughing then, and pulled down Pizzazz's sunglasses to get a good read of her face, finding dead serious eyes behind them. “Jeez, Pizzazz. For a girl that was just asking about how to get into pegging I thought you would've been happier about-”

“I wasn't asking that! I... I didn't know. Kimber had said a thing and-”

Stormer blushed deeply. “Whatever she said was a lie. I swear. I, I would-”

 _What are you even babbling aboOH MY GOD, STORMER._ Pizzazz's eyelids shot open and her jaw dropped. _Everything I'm learning today. Everything. I can't look at any of you the same way anymore. ...Then again, can any of you even look at me the same way? None of you had reputations. I did. That reputation wasn't 'win stuffed animals for cute girls and then kiss every inch of their body in the shower.' It was 'rig games in my favor, sabotage the stage shows of anyone that dared compete against me, wreck the fuck out of buildings with a crane!' It was..._

“I'm still me, right? ...Be honest with me, Stormer. I'm still Pizzazz, right?”

“Aw, who else would you be? I'm still Stormer. I'm just a Stormer with the cutest girlfriend around. I still do my usual Stormer stuff, just when I'm not I'm doing Stormer and Kimber stuff. You've just got stuff to get used to.” Stormer hugged around Pizzazz's shoulders, resting her chin on Pizzazz's head as she sank into the hair. “You're still Pizzazz. Just a Pizzazz that sets aside her evil plans sometimes to snuggle up to her cutie, and that's just fine. Hell, give it enough time and maybe she'll help out with those plans. Show her what you do to Eric's mailbox every month.”

_And this is why I always come to you, Stormer. You know me. You know how to speak my language, and you know this all stays between us._

“I'm a little curious now, though. You don't have to answer this if you don't wanna, but like. ...So, what's she like?”

Pizzazz sighed. “Surprisingly fierce. She'll pin you if you're not careful, no matter what you're doing. It's a struggle to assert dominance, even for me. There is far, far too much fight in the pink one.”

Now was Stormer's turn to drop her jaw. “I-... ...I meant. ...as a girlfriend. But I guess I can see why you're nervous about the pegg-”

“SHE'S SWEET AND CARING AND MAKES ME TALK TOO MUCH NOW SHUT YOUR FACE!”

 

 

 

Pizzazz had sent everyone away at 9 and spent the last hour waiting by the stairs in the main area. She had ordered pizza for everyone a couple of hours prior but hadn't actually gotten around to eating any of it herself yet, until Becky came by with a plate and two slices. “We gotta look out for each other, right?” She'd asked, before darting back off.

_I'm going to end up being like a mother to these kids. I'm not sure if that's more terrifying to me or if it'll be more terrifying for her. Wait until they start shoplifting. Honestly I think I've paid one of these kids to steal shit before._

Suddenly the door was opening, and in stepped Kimber, Aja, and Shana. Each still in their usual stage clothes, everyone but Aja looking tired as well, while Aja seemed to be at least mildly drunk and supported by the other two. _Well at least -someone- had a good time tonight._

“Pizzazz? ...Are you okay? You haven't moved an inch since we left.” Kimber asked, sounding genuinely worried. “Did, were you waiting on Jem to come back? ...For 10 hours?!”

“That's kind of sweet and kind of creepy at the same time. I'm not sure which wins out.” Shana added.

Pizzazz groaned, finishing off the last piece of crust on her plate before leaving it at the step and pulling herself up. “I did other stuff. What's it to ya? Where's the pink one? You guys leave her behind?”

“She dropped us off, said she had to pick up something and that she'd be back a bit late. I'm supposed to tell you to wait for her in the room, and to leave the door open.” Shana tugged on Aja's arm a bit to let Kimber know to keep moving. “Can you help us out a bit first? Aja... Aja learned the hard way that you don't mix coffee and wine.”

_How do you think I ended up so drunk off my ass the last two weeks?_

“Stand back ladies, I'll show you how a pro does this.”

Before either could react, Pizzazz had scooped Aja up in her arms, cradling her like a drunk blue haired baby. “I've done this enough with Roxy and Stormer. You get used to it,” Pizzazz strained then slowly began carrying her up the stairs. “Can you losers go ahead of me and point me towards her room?!”

Kimber skipped ahead, down the hall to the left, two doors down from Jem's bedroom, and opened the door as Pizzazz slowly carried Aja along the way, eventually slinging her over-shoulder as she reached the door way.

Briefly she looked over the room, which was far prettier to her than Jem's. All cool colors, with a slight Asian influence. _Oh sure, the straight Hologram has the room I would want. Stormer's brother is a lucky bastard._ Pizzazz smirked to herself, gently laying Aja down on a queen-sized mint green bed. _I've done far too many good deeds today. I wish I had a marker... I could look around for one and come back._

Ignoring the thanks she received from the other two Holograms, Pizzazz made her way back to Jem's room and stretched out on the bed to wait once again.

 

 

 

“Hey honey, Pizzazz?” There was a gentle shaking at her shoulder. “I know I said I'd be back around ten, but I felt bad about leaving you here all day while you were getting settled, so I wanted to get you something... you awake?”

_Hmwhat?_

Pizzazz blinked her eyes open, finding herself laying on her back. _Did I fall asleep? Ugh how tired was I?_

“There you are, sleepyhead.” Jerrica smiled sweetly, leaning down to rub the tip of her nose against Pizzazz's.

_I... ...ugh. This... this is one way to wake up, I guess._

“Kimber told me you were still on the stairs when they got back, I hope you weren't too lonely without me. I saw your room, though. It looks amazing, I'm surprised you got all of that set up so quickly.”

_...yes. Yes. I did that. All by myself. You're god damn right I did._

“I missed you.” Pizzazz said quietly, propping herself up to lean against the backboard of the bed. _I really wish that wasn't so easy to say._

Jerrica scooted close to her, giving her a quick peck on the lips before pulling out a small box about twice the size of her fist. “I got you a thing... I wasn't so sure how you'd like it, but I hope I made the right choice.”

 _I... ...oh boy. Hooo... ...hoo boy. Is that. Is that a. Jem are you. Jem is that a._ Pizzazz stared in groggy horror at the box in front of her. _Mrs. Pizzazz Benton. ...I mean I was upset at what you said earlier, but there's kind of a leap from 'date me publicly even when you're Jerrica' and 'marry me' don't you think?_

“Come on, open it.” Jerrica nudged her, smiling excitedly, brimming with anticipation.

_I mean I'm... I'm flattered. It's soon, though. ...do I still say yes? I mean. I've made worse decisions. I've made way rasher decisions. ...you know what, yeah. Fuck it. I'll marry the shit out of you. I'll be the best wife, we'll be the envy of everyone around. I want a gold wedding dress, and-_

Pizzazz excitedly popped the box open, only to find... “...A collar?”

It was a bit on the long side and black, covered with silver studs. On the front was a tag reading 'MADMARTIGAN'. Pizzazz took it out of the box, eyeing it up and down. _I... ...will this even fit me?I... wow. Okay marriage I get, yeah. But.... wow this is..._

“Little kinky, but I like it. Help me put it on?”

Jerrica went wide eyed, her smile fading as a deep blush covered her face. “I.. beg pardon?”

“I, oh. I... I mean if this was for you, I'm good with that too, I just-”

“Can I just bring the cat in before I find out yet more weird sex stuff about you two?!” Kimber shouted from the hall.

_...Cat? ...Oh god damn it. Oh god damn it. Curl into a ball and die, Pizzazz. Curl right up into a ball and-_

Before Pizzazz could duck under blankets in shame, Kimber had brought in a small Siamese kitten and plopped it on the bed in front of her. It stared up at her, then over at Jem, before flopping onto its side and doing a little wiggle.

“Pizzazz, meet Madmartigan. Sometimes I have to go out for long stretches of time, and its now Mads's job here to keep you company when I can't. She likes to be hugged, but if you hug her too long she'll bite you. She also tries to trick you into rubbing her belly, but Kimber already learned the hard way that if you do that for more than a few seconds you're going to get hurt.”

 _She's... ...she got me a cat._ Pizzazz reached out and poked at the cat's nose, then rubbed under her chin. “She's cute. ...thank you. You... you didn't have to, you know.”

Jerrica threw her arms around Pizzazz's waist, pulling her away from the backboard and over to her. “This is what girlfriends do for each other, Pizzazz. And you need someone... Your dad's an asshole, and I know you're probably bored around all of these kids.”

_This is... God pull yourself together Pizzazz. You almost married her tonight. Calm yourself._

_Are you crying?_

“Pizzazz are you crying? ...Kimber, could you-”

“Leaving, got it.”

Pizzazz felt hands running up and down her back as Jerrica rubbed her cheek against her own. “Things are going to get better. We're getting you nice and settled here, and you can still do work with the Misfits. ...honestly if you ever wanted, it could be interesting having an extra guitarist in the Holograms, but I wasn't sure how to bring that idea up. But you don't have to agree to anything now. We do this at whatever pace you want to do this at.”

_Me? A hologram? ...I couldn't. I can't abandon my band. I can get abandoned, but I'm not abandoning anyone, never again._

“Is there anything else I can do? I hate when you're crying.”

_Can you help me remember what it was like when everyone was afraid of me? When I was a force of chaos and destruction?_

“Just... shut up and hold me.”

 


	8. Smoke & Mirrors, Cats & Suits

_'I'm sorry Pizzazz, but deep down I guess I always just wanted Rio back. Maybe I thought he'd get jealous if you were the one I turned to when he left?'_

_'Pizzazz, it's Stormer. I just wanted to call and say that Kimber and I are moving out of the country. We're moving to France! Roxy and Jetta are coming, we're going to have a duplex.'_

_'Pizzazz, listen. You're just not going to cut it as a solo artist. I was only able to carry you this far because of your daddy's money. Now that he's out of the picture, I'm renting a duplex in Paris with Techrat.'_

_'Meow. Meow, meow meow. Meow. Meow. Mew. Maow.'_

Pizzazz's eyelids fluttered open as her dream finally descended to a point of unbelievability, just as Riot had stepped in with Madmartigan.  _Nobody is renting a duplex in Paris with my cat. ...Why did Eric and Techrat need a -duplex-?_ She found herself laying on her back, a blanket tightly wrapped around her legs, her clothes from yesterday still on though wrinkled and slightly undone from tossing and turning.

_I need to get up, I need to get dressed... fuck what time is it? ...My arm. I can't feel my arm. I CAN'T FEEL MY ARM!_

Pizzazz quickly snapped her head to the side, only to find that Jerrica was wrapped tightly around her arm, her head laying on her shoulder as she continued sleeping softly despite the sudden movement.

_That's... I can't wake that up._

She tilted her head to look down at how her legs had become so wrapped in the blanket, only to find that Madmartigan had rolled himself a little nook in the folds of the blanket and was currently stretched out in a crescent shape, his paws covering his little face.

_ Or that. ...god damn it I need to get up. _

_She'd never leave me for Rio, right? I'm a way better kisser, and I'm gonna guess from some of those noises she made the other night, Rio was never really one to spend much time below the belt... Pffft. Not surprising. You always did attract selfish jerkwads, didn't you Jem? And now you've got me. ...and my arm._

_I guess yesterday could have gone worse. So, Roxy and Jetta have been keeping secrets from me, so I've somehow been oblivious to some things. At least nobody threatened to quit. Nobody's suddenly terrified of sharing a dressing room with me._

_I wonder how it was for Kimber. She probably came out long ago, I guess. Her family seems more tolerant. Surrounded by do-goodies with a charity obsession, always singing about making the world a better place. No wonder she'd be the first to come out._

_If only Stormer had come out to me first. I wouldn't have been a jerk about it. I would have hugged her. I would have hugged her, damn it. But she didn't trust me... and I can't blame her. Why am |I always such an asshole? Probably went over better than mine. How did I come out again? Well let's see. I pretended to be drunk and asked a bunch of invasive questions to Clash, I ate her out in a laundry room, and then I made a fool of my genuine-drunk self and took her on a tour of bars when she mentioned she was... oh god damn it relationship problems. She was having... Pizzazz you bitch. Then, what. You got drunk again two weeks later, tried to hijack a charity event, ended up winning a date with your worst enemy, then passed out drunk on your best friend's couch._

_Maybe they deserve that french duplex._

“Morning sunshine.” Pizzazz felt a kiss at her bicep.

_ Maybe you deserve better, Princess. _

“My arm's still asleep.” She grumbled harshly.

Jerrica looked up at her, then released her arm and slowly sat up. “Sorry about that. I... I had gotten up in the middle of the night for a quick snack, and I wanted to cuddle back up to you. Madmartigan wasn't having any of that, so... I settled for you arm.” She was pouting a bit as she rubbed at Pizzazz's forearm. “Sorry.”

_ Yeah, she -really- deserves better than you. Jesus, Pizzazz. Yeah, make her cry for wanting to hug you. Sure you would have hugged Stormer when she came out? Or would you have just started yelling at her for inconveniencing you somehow? _

“No, I'm...” Pizzazz slowly tried to sit up, careful not to disturb the still-sleeping cat that was draped below her knees. “I'm sorry. That came out mean. I'm just... bad dreams.”  _ And you were there. And you were there...  _ She bit hard onto her lip, propping herself up with her hands so she could hunch over. “You uhm... how are you and Rio these days?”

Jerrica placed her arm around Pizzazz's shoulder. “That kind of dream, huh? I know how that is... I used to have these weird dreams that he was going to leave me for Jem. Like I understand how odd that sounds, I know -I'm- Jem, but...” She batted at a green lock of hair that was dangling by Pizzazz's ear. “No, I'm not going to leave you for Rio. I'm not going to cheat on you with Rio. He's strictly professional with me now, regardless of if I'm Jerrica or Jem. ...and to be honest, these past few days have been...”

_ Stressful. Tiring. Painful. Dramatic. Tense. _

“Outrageous.” There was a kiss at Pizzazz's earlobe. “I've never been with anyone so sweet before, you've been so helpful with the kids... you cleaned up the rug, even though I was mostly joking about that. Even in your sleep you're cute, you and Madmartigan both kept doing this cute nose wiggle and mouth twitch thing.”

_ I WHAT? ...I've slept in front of so many people! I've passed out in my seat in places! PEOPLE HAVE SEEN THIS!? NOBODY TOLD ME!? _

“Are you okay? You're doing that whole not breathing thing again. Stay with me here, Pizz.”

_ Did she just call me Pizz? _

“I can't really tell if this is your angry thing or your upset thing. Is there some sort of...” Jerrica fumbled awkwardly in bed, twisted to put both hands on Pizzazz's shoulders. “Does this do anything?” Gently she began kneading them with her fingers and palms, illiciting no response from Pizzazz.

_ Only the Misfits call me Pizz. It sounds weird coming from her lips. Then again, I guess it has to be weird for her having to call me Pizzazz, even in bed. ...I hope she doesn't mind that I still call her Jem during that. She's never said anything about it. _

“Seriously honey you're scaring me. Do you just not have lungs? What do you have in there?”

_ What? _

Pizzazz relaxed, breathing normally again. “Sorry, I was thinking. ...That's my thinking face. ...You snore.”

Jerrica stared at her, dumbfounded.

“I mean. ...Heeeeey. So. I had some ideas yesterday that I wanted to try out. So does this Synergy have like, some area I can directly interact with? ...Love you. ...Snorey.”

 

 

 

“And another thing, Eric Raymond! I'll put your balls in a vice if you ever come near my client again!”

A hologram of Eric gasping on a loop flicked in and out of the room. A tall woman, clad in a solid white suit jacket with black bordering and buttons, a black and white striped pleated skirt that came down to her knees, tall black heels, and a pearl necklace. Her hair was light blonde, near platinum, and pulled back tightly into a ponytail, held in place with a large black scrunchie. Cold, angry green eyes sat behind thick black rectangular eyeglasses, focused on the virtual punching bag that was one Mr. Raymond.

“Can't you make him react more? Make him bleeeeeeed!” She shouted into the empty room.

“I've never had Synergy make gore, and I'm never going to, Pizzazz. Can I come in now? I wanna see!”

“Fine! I just.... don't laugh. This feels all kinds of wrong.” The angry fair haired woman took a deep breath and turned the lights back on in Jem's room before opening the door.

As the hologram Eric vanished into oblivion, she moved over by the bed and did a little twirl for the gaping Ms. Benton in the doorway.

“I... ...Wow. Why?”

The fair haired woman frowned. “You said you couldn't be seen dating Pizzazz as Jerrica, right? So, I thought... I mean this is like what you do, right?” She did her best to force a smile, then gave a mock curtsy. “This looks like the kind of person that would date Jerrica Benton, right?”

Jerrica brought her hands up to cover her mouth as a small laugh escaped her lips. She did her best to brace herself as she walked around the other woman to get a better look.

“I take it that's a no? Fuck I knew this was stupid, I-”

“No, no! It's fine, I just... ...it's sweet.” Jerrica clasped her hands together and leaned in for a quick kiss. “You'd do all this, just to go to some functions with me? Pizzazz, you look like someone you would have beaten up.”

_ And boy do I ever want to beat myself up now. I need a beer and a hot dog. _

“Not Pizzazz. I'm....”  _ Think of a clever name, think of a clever name. ...Think of a clever name. You can do this.  _ “Selina. I'll be the Selina to your Jerrica. I'm Pizzazz's agent, I went to Yale. I like pottery and responsibilities.”

“That's really the background you're going for here? Ivy League?”

Pizzazz frowned again. “Just what are you implying? I'm smarter than I look, damn it!”

Jerrica sucked in her cheeks, trying not to laugh out loud.

“I mean. ...I look smart! And I'm even smarter than how I look! I was an honor's student! I took so many extracurricular activities! I HAVE HAMLET MEMORIZED!”

“See, you told me you were a nerd. What I'm seeing is that you're still a-”

There was a loud smack, followed by a loud piercing squeak.

“'Very much non-nerdy, total badass' I believe you were going to say.”

Jerrica rubbed hard at her butt. “That... did you smack my ass?”

Pizzazz gave a shrug. “Obviously that's her thing, that's how Selina handles backtalk. With a spanking.” She stuck her tongue out and pulled at her left eyelid, before realizing Jerrica was still rubbing. _Too far, Pizzazz. Too far._

“I uhm... that didn't hurt too much did it? I'm sorry, I, I don't know it popped into my head and I-”

“Just a bit. It just... took me off guard. Maybe a little warning next time?”

Pizzazz nodded. “Wait... Next time?”

“Maybe that's Jerrica's thing, and maybe you've only encouraged her to backtalk more.” She gave a dirty grin, then playfully nipped at Pizzazz's cheek. “Come on, let's get the other girls to get a look at this. You go down to the front door and pretend to be here representing 'your client', and I'll go see if everyone's free.”

_I'll fool all of them. All those years getting stuck in drama class will finally pay off._

 

 

 

 

“I really don't think she meant it as an insult, she just... you. Her...” Jerrica shouted through Pizzazz's door. “She just... You both. Both of you, I'm angry and... Shana, Aja. Please, help me out here. I can't be neutral here. One of you yell at Pizzazz and the other can yell at Kimber, I have a mess to clean... And don't think you're off the hook for tonight! Clash already called me to talk about how excited she was!”

_Oh sure, first you trap me in a room, then you tell me I can't stay in it all day. Yeah, that's just great princess. Juuuuuuust great. I wonder how high up we are... I don't want to move all this junk from in front of the window, though._

The rest run of her alter-ego had gone smoothly enough at first, so Pizzazz had thought. Until Kimber had slipped up and called her Pizzazz instead of Selina. “I mean she wasn't fooling you guys either! We're all doing this for Jerrica's benefit, right?”

That was when the yelling had started. Pizzazz had screamed about how she didn't need anyone lying for her benefit, Kimber had yelled about how Pizzazz couldn't pretend to be anything but a bitch, and then... At some point in the struggle Pizzazz had ended up stradling Kimber on the floor, and had landed a punch right to Kimber's eye before Shana and Jerrica had managed to pull her off.

_What kind of loser would go with the name Selina Kyle anyway? Are you trying to be the Catwoman to Jem's Batman now?_

“Pizzazz, I'm coming in. I just want to talk, okay?” Aja's voice came through softly as the bedroom door's knob began to turn.

_Oh what, afraid I'm going to deck you too?_

Pizzazz had bundled herself up in her comforter, far from the door, leaving only her head poking out. Synergy had dropped the Selina disguise, leaving only a sad out-of-makeup face partially obscured by a mass of green hair.

“Fine. Don't give me reason.”

The door crept open and in walked Aja, holding up a large square pillow at face level as a shield. She lowered it as she looked over the room. “I'm surprised you got all of this set up already. It took seven of us to get you moved out that night. Guess you felt homesick, huh?”

_Homesick? That wasn't exactly a -home-. You saw that trash heap._

“I hit your friend, go ahead and yell at me and leave.” Pizzazz grumbled, then tucked the lower half of her face under the comforter.

Aja carefully maneuvered around the cluttered room, careful not to trip or fall over as she found herself having to cross a large green beanbag chair. “I'm not here to yell, Pizzazz. I'm upset that you would hurt Kimber, but I'm upset that Kimber would say everything that she said.”

Awkwardly she sat down on the futon with Pizzazz, it being only a few inches thick and laying directly on the floor made it a bit of a challenge, especially with the grumpy blanket wad that was taking up the middle of it.

“I didn't think you were that bad. I mean it was obvious that it was you, but I disagree with Kimber on everything else. I think you're ladylike, in your own way.”

_What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm a lady, everything I do is ladylike._

“I think she was just trying to say that you're just so, well, aggressive and animated that it's weird seeing you try to look more average. You dressed like a secretary, but you still carried yourself like you do on stage.”

_Well gee that sounds leagues better than what Kimber said. ...and I still want to punch you._

“Look, you and I have had our fights. I told Jerrica I was willing to put that all behind me. I still don't really think you've changed, but she does. Even after this, she still does. She loves you. She's loved you for a long time now. You have no idea how many times she's let you and Eric get away, just because she cared about you.”

_She... what?_

“She always tried to pass it off as pity, but I think we all knew. Frankly I think even Rio knew. It's funny, we'd always known with Kimber, and she had never felt the need to hide it from us, but for some reason Jerrica still felt the need to keep her little secret. But I guess that's basically her thing, isn't it? Keeping secrets that no longer need to be kept. It's why she still keeps the whole Jem thing a secret from everyone, even when her only 'enemies' are... well, Eric's an employee now, and I guess she's sleeping with the other one.”

_Yet I never knew with Stormer... or Roxy. Jetta. They never knew with me, either. Were we not close enough as a band?_

“She told me she had considered me once before, back when Roxy's accident prone ass got me stuck on an island with you.”

“Kimber and Shana can back me up on this... Pizzazz, she crushed hard on you at first sight. I can remember her talking about how worried she was about having to compete with you, and at first it just sounded like she thought you were more talented. Let's just say the praise was more glowing than that, and more glowing than you deserved. In a way, part of the reason she took on the Jem identity was so she could be around you without the anxiety holding her back. She's an incredibly shy person when she's not 'in character', and whatever you were making her feel certainly didn't help with that.”

_She never told me... What would I have even done if she had? Right from the start, before we had our battle of the bands, Jerrica asks me on a date. Who am I kidding, I would have gotten aggressive. I would have assumed it was a trap, someone trying to end my career early by catching me flirting with another woman._

There was a knock on the open bedroom door, and Shana poked her head in. “How's it going in here? Got her calmed down?”

Aja tilted her head around to look Pizzazz in the eyes. “Are you calm now?”

She attempted to say something, but instead just nodded her partially blanket submerged head. _I need to make this up to her. No wonder she never told me... No wonder nobody ever tells me anything._

“I'd say that's a yes. How are things with Kimber?”

“She's calmed down now, and wants to apologize if Pizzazz will apologize.”

Pizzazz gave another nod, but pulled the comforter further up, so only her eyes and the bridge of her nose were visible beneath it.

“I think she's saying yes, go ahead and bring her in. Watch your step, it's like a furniture maze in here.”

Pizzazz caught a glimpse of Kimber as she entered, a very visible black eye now marked where Pizzazz's punch had landed.

_Fuck. ...Fuuuuuuck. Stormer's going to kill me. Stormer is so going to kill me. First Jem is going to kill me, and then Stormer. Great work, Pizzazz. You gave a shiner to your girlfriend's sister and your best friend's girlfriend._

“I'm sorry.” Pizzazz said quietly, slightly muffled by the blanket. “I... I wasn't comfortable already. I was only doing it because I was jealous. I lost my temper, and I'm sorry.”

“You hit me because you're jealous?” Kimber tried to keep her balance as she crossed the room, but gave up half way and just sat on the arm of the couch instead.

_Don't make this harder than it needs to be, red._

“She said she couldn't be seen dating me as Jerrica, so I wanted to fix that.” With that last admittance, Pizzazz flung the comforter over the rest of her face that was visible, becoming nothing more than a keyboard-patterned lump. “I don't want to fight you.”

_But I'm probably going to. I'm going to fight all of you._

“I can get that. Part of why me and Stormer waited so long to come out is because she was worried about how you would react, that you'd kick her out of the band. She remembered how mad you had gotten when we first became friends. How I was a bad influence on her, making her into a 'goody-goody'. Not that Jerrica was much better. Anyway I guess I'm still angry off at you over that, and Jerrica says that I say stupid things when I'm angry.”

_You're worse at apologizing than I am. Hell... I like you. Maybe you're more of a Misfit than Stormer is._

“Honestly, you've been a bitch to my girlfriend. Even when she was trying to help you, you broke her stuff, you made a mess of her apartment, and you made her cry. I'll apologize for upsetting Jerrica, but I'm not apologizing to you. You owe everyone else an apology!”

“I know.” Pizzazz croaked from beneath the comforter.

Kimber looked towards Aja, then back to Shana, confused. “Is she crying? I'm the one with the black eye and -she- is crying? This is ridiculous.”

“Kimber, come on. She apologized. Go easy on her, what would Stormer say?”

“I'm trying. I'm really trying.” Pizzazz's voice was getting raspier and harder to make out.

Kimber sighed. “...Alright, alright... just come on out from under there. Jerrica said we had to 'hug it out'. I'm sorry, alright?”

“No. ...no to coming out. I accept your apology.”

“Oh come on, we've all seen you upset before, back at your apartment. We've all cried before, there's no shame in it.” Kimber carefully made her way over to the futon and gave the comforter a tug.

Pizzazz grabbed hold of it from the inside, scooting away from both Kimber and Aja.

“I said no! Just... give me a few moments, will ya? I'll come out when I'm good and ready!” She shouted, poking her head out from under the covers.

Suddenly Aja was joining in too, and then Shana. Pizzazz found herself in a one-against-three tug of war for the oversized covering as she tried to back herself into the corner.

“Come on! Stop being so shy. GIVE US A HUUUUUUG! You're family now, Pizzazz!”

_We are NOT family! You get the hell away from me!_

The comforter flung forward, causing all three of the Holograms to topple over. Aja had fallen back on the edge of the futon, while Shana and Kimber found themselves on the couch. Before them sat a very angry, very naked Pizzazz.

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO! I said 'give me a few moments!' But nooooo. No, nobody listens to Pizzazz!”

“...Why didn't you just say you were naked!? ...WHY are you naked!?”

“I don't really get how Synergy works yet! I didn't want to ruin anything by wearing clothes under the projection! I'd asked Jerrica once but she... she didn't tell me, alright!”

“...WHY ARE YOU NAKED!?”

“Just get out! ...and make Jerrica bring me something to wear! I didn't bring up any of the boxes yet.”

 

 

 

“Just shoot me.” Pizzazz grumbled, lounging back in her beanbag chair, holding a large lime-green skull shaped pillow over her face just in case she needed to scream into it again. “You people are ruining me, under my skin. I cried around you people. You made me FEEL EMOTIONS!”

Jerrica sat across from her on the couch, leaning over the back of it to face her. “Most people feel emotions, Pizzazz. It's a pretty normal thing. You'll get used to it!”

“I'll get used to your face!”

“...You see, the -words- are sweet but you're still wording it as a threat. Saying sweet things angrily doesn't really negate the sweetness, Pizza.”

Pizzazz pushed the pillow to her mouth again and let out an angry scream into it, barely muffled.

“Do you ever watch He-Man? Because I feel like I have a Christmas special to show you.” Jerrica mocked.

The pillow lifted just long enough to give Jerrica a grimace, “'If that turns out to be a Skeletor jab, I'm leaving you. ...Also I'm Jewish. Figured you would have known that about me.” The pillow moved back into position.

“Well, I didn't. There's a lot I still need to learn about you. What your favorite food is, when your birthday is... what your natural hair color is, apparently.” Jerrica did her best to stifle her giggling, still feeling the pain in her sides from Kimber's earlier account of what happened.

Pizzazz lifted the pillow again, her expression far angrier than before, but her tone remained cool and deadpan. “Hot dogs, extra mustard. November 13th. Blonde.” She went to lower the pillow back over her face, then lifted it up higher instead, tilting her head to look at Jerrica with wide eyes. “Did you call me Pizza?”

“I'm not good at pet names. You hate it?”

She slowly lowered the pillow back down. “I'm cheap, hot, and bad for you. ...It's okay.”

“Oh come on. You're not cheap! The price we paid to acquire Misfits Records is a testament to that one.”

Pizzazz didn't even bother to lift the pillow. “Whoopty doo. I'm -expensive- and bad for you.”

“And hot! You're like gourmet pizza.”

_She really enjoys making fun of me. They all do._

“On that note, though... you and I need to have a talk. It kind of falls in line with what Kimber was saying about Stormer.”

_And now little miss perfect is going to yell at me for being a bitch to my bandmates. Yep. This was a great day. I'm so glad I got out of bed._

“Do you know what Clash's day job is, Pizzazz?”

Pizzazz shrugged, the pillow balanced on her face like some angry, pink-nightied trained seal.

“She's a waitress. Or rather, she -was- a waitress. When those photos got out of you two, well... she hadn't come out to anyone yet, only you and her girlfriend knew. She was fired and disowned, Pizzazz. They've been staying with her cousin Video for awhile.”

_That's why I hadn't seen her lately... fuck. Have I always been this bad at paying attention? Was I always this out of the loop?_

“...Do you want to adopt her?” Pizzazz's voice was slightly muffled by the pillow, but it was obvious to Jerrica she was still being serious.

“I'm. ...Clash isn't -that- much younger than I am! That's. That's not... ...I mean are you. Pizzazz did you want chil-”

The pillow suddenly flung and caught Jerrica directly in the face.

“I was joking. It was a joke. What, what do you want me to do?”

Jerrica frowned, holding the skull pillow close. “Well, I think there's a place for her in the new Misfits Records. I'm fine with keeping Eric in some sort of administration job, but I think Clash should be your new manager. I mean she's already had to coordinate so much for you guys in the past, for free. She's sacrificed a lot just because she loves your band, and I feel... you've taken advantage of her in the past. I want you to prove to me that those days are over. She's also not as evil as Eric, and I'd feel a lot better if you were being managed by someone I could trust. ...though it is weird trusting Clash, considering from out run-ins.”

“She's four years younger than me. I don't like the idea of being 'managed' by someone younger than me.” Pizzazz folded her arms across her chest and turned her head to look away.

“Please, Pizzazz. I can do this either way, since it's my label now, but I wanted you to be the one to tell her. I thought it would be a nice surprise at dinner tonight.”

_You plan too much, dear. You have no idea how easily I can unravel any plan, even when I don't mean to._

“How do you even know the Misfits are still going to be around for this to matter? We haven't worked on anything in so long... We haven't written an original song in a long time. Feels like we were mostly carried by earlier hits last year.”

“Probably because I've never heard a Misfits song about rescuing a princess, but I certainly heard you sing one in the shower earlier. ...I didn't mean to listen, but I'd brought the clothes... It was sweet.”

_Sweet. It won't be sweet. It'll be -epic-. Intense. There will be -dragons-, princess. Whole cities will go up in flame. Ogres. A minotaur. ...Maybe not a minotaur. But ogres! And I am the fierce warrior queen that sacks your kingdom and takes you as my bride!_

“...Fine. Clash is my manager. She was terrible at getting coffee anyway.”

Pizzazz pulled herself out of the beanbag chair, groaning all the while. She gave a few stretches, attempted to pop her back, and then flopped forward against the back of the couch, her arms going over Jerrica's shoulders and behind her back.

“I'm glad. I think the others will believe you've turned over a new lea-” In a heartbeat Pizzazz's hand was at her cheek, her lips were over hers, and their tongues were intertwined.

_I don't care, princess. I've got you, and you trust me. That's all I really need right now._

Pizzazz reached her free hand up to grab at Jerrica's hair close to the back of her head, tugging at it sharply but gently as the hand at her cheek slid down to cup the side of Jerrica's neck, her thumb pressed over Jerrica's throat as she forced her tongue deeper.

_And I'll show you, my princess. I am not growing soft._

She slid her tongue back out of Jerrica's mouth, flicking it across the blonde's lips, their breath hot in each others' face. Pizzazz looked her straight in the eye as she lightly camped her teeth upon Jerrica's upper lip, nibbling softly, while lightly pressing with her thumb.

“Remember. Just because I'm not so evil anymore, doesn't mean I've changed completely. Princess.”

 

 

 

They had arrived and been seated early, despite Pizzazz's repeated insistence that Clash had been late to everything. Even during their laundry room session, Clash had 'wasted some time' trying to find change for the machine. Jem had chosen on her long purple gown with the matching stockings and heels, while Pizzazz had gone for orange pants, a red and black sleeveless blouse with a large black belt and bronze buckle along the waist, red heels, and a white ascot.

Pizzazz had left the choice of restaurant up to Jem since she was the one paying and she was already missing those few bites of the good life she had come to expect in the earlier years of her career. Still, she found herself disappointed in the brightly lit, fancy, earth tone filled restaurant. A string quartet was playing somewhere, the waiters were all in nice tuxes, and all Pizzazz wanted to do was hijack one of their bottles of wine.

_Remember when you'd come to these places as meetings? Or just because Jem was here, and you had to cause a scene. Well Jem is here, Pizzazz. Are you going to cause a scene?_

“I like that outfit on you. I feel like I've seen you in it before...”

“I nearly killed you with a wrecking ball when I was wearing it last, I believe.”

“Oh, that's right. ...you nearly killed me with a wrecking ball. ...If we ever did adopt, we'd have some weird stories to tell the kids about how we met.”

Pizzazz choked on her water.

“'Your other mother tried to run me off the road in a race once, Spartacus style.' I'll tell them.”

_I didn't try to run you off! I was trying to win, and you got in my way!_

“And I'll tell them how much their other mother likes it when I bite on her-”

“Pizzazz! Jem!”

Two ladies were waving at them from across the room. One with chin-length magenta and teal hair worn loosely, dressed in a bright green fur coat, a black vinyl dress that came a few inches above her knees, pink leggings, pink heels, and a magenta belt with a teal clasp. The other had red and yellow hair, curly and pulled neatly into a chignon, and was wearing a knee-length leopard print dress with yellow heels.

“15 minutes later. I told you, and you wouldn't listen to me. Could have given me time to do a little extra with my hair.”

“Pizzazz, you've had the same hair as long as I've known you. Your hair has two modes; normal and 'creepy girl that escaped from the grave.' Normal is fine right now.”

The two ladies pulled up chairs on the opposite side of the snug round table, covered by a clay-orange cloth, with red adornments.

“Pizzazz, this is Blaze. I wanted to introduce you two the other day when I was helping move, but Jem said you had a sort of shell-shock thing going on, so I wanted to stay out of your hair.” The teal-and-magenta haired one said, gesturing to her red-and-yellow haired partner. “Blaze... ...who the hell am I kidding. Pizzazz, she knows who you are. She's the only person I've met that loves the Misfits as much as I do.”

“I'm... really excited to be here. I'm sorry that phone call was our first meeting. I was still a little angry, but Clash and I have since made up.” Blaze said happily, holding onto Clash's hand.

“Phone call?” Jem asked.

“Pizzazz called to verify she was gay, I think she was in your bed at the time?”

Jem turned and gave a sly smile to Pizzazz. “So that's what all of that shouting had been about. I was worrying who you'd be calling late at night to shout out that you were going to 'bang the pink princess'”

Clash let out a snort. “You know, it's funny. Ms. Manners here was grooming me over how to behave for a fancy dinner all day, and about one minute in we're already talking about sex.”

Blaze blushed deeply, covering her face in her hands.

“Then I'll get this out of the way. ...Blaze. You prefer Blaze, right, not Leah?” Pizzazz waited for a response, then continued when she got a weak nod. “I'm sorry about what happened with Clash. I... lied when I said Clash hadn't told me. I just wasn't listening. I've done a whole... whole lot of not listening. I, uh. ...I know you said you wanted an autograph. I did a little something.” Pizzazz reached into her purse, pulling out a five-by-seven photo and slid it across the table to the couple on the opposite side.

On one side there was Pizzazz, or at least a far younger Pizzazz, around sixteen. She was clad in a black tank top and blue jeans, her lime green hair shaved into a mohawk with bits of pink dye dotting close to the scalp. Next to her was a shy-looking woman dressed in a zebra-print top, a black pleated skirt, thick-rimmed boxy eyeglasses, and black-studded arm bands. The other woman was hugging at Pizzazz's waist as Pizzazz flexed her bicep for the camera, with noticeable bruising on the fist in the foreground. Pizzazz had signed her full name, Phyllis and all, across the bottom.

“This is... oh my god you're so cute. Who is this in the picture with you? ...Is that your top she's wearing?” Blaze excitedly asked, hugging the photograph to her chest.

“That was my girlfriend, Alice. A friend took that for us the day I got suspended for knocking out the teeth of some asshole that had thrown a rock at her. ...The point is, I've been an asshole. I've let people close to me suffer, and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to go back to making other people suffer. People who deserve it. ...Clash, Jem and I have decided you're our new manager.”

There was a loud, high pitched squeak that echoed across the entire restaurant. Other patrons turned in their seats to see what the commotion was. It took some effort for Blaze to pull Clash back down into her seat, and even more effort to pull her arms down.

“I take it you accept?” Jem smiled.

Clash clasped her hands together, briefly frowning at the lack of sound as she pined for her bracelets, then went right back to beaming with joy.

“So wait. Clash gets a big new job, and big badass Pizzazz spent her teen years beating up homophobes? ...This is too good to be true.” Blaze looked down at the photo, then back up at Pizzazz, skeptical.

“Transphobes. And yes, Clash gets the job.”

“Trans...” Blaze blushed deeply again. “...I. ...Oh dear god.” Tears were welling in her eyes. “Clash had to drag me out here, I was so worried... I've never gotten to dress like this before, her cousin gave it to me. I kept thinking 'Pizzazz is going to say something, or Jem, or someone' and I just wanted to stay home...”

“If anyone says anything. Even Jem. I'm kicking their ass. You keep that photo as a reminder of that. -Anyone- gives you shit, I'm burning their house down.”

_And now yet another person has had a glimpse into what I've got going on. Mentally. ...Worse than being seen naked again._

Jem feigned a smile. “She's not lying. Starlight Mansion is actually the second Starlight home.”

“I didn't do that! I swear! Sure I broke in there once or twice, I may have stolen a few things, but I did not burn anything down!”

“It's true, all Pizzazz stole was-”

Pizzazz quickly put her hand up to interrupt Clash. “Nothing. In retrospect, I stole nothing. HEY WAITER, WE'RE DYING HERE!”

 

 

 

Pizzazz eyed her fifth glass of water, angry that she had kept her promise to Jem 'not to drink.' She had finished steak long a fair while after everyone else had finished, and she couldn't help but feel it was because of the continuous interruptions of 'happy stories' both couples had found themselves telling, when all Pizzazz really wanted to do was drink until she forgot a few.

“So Pizzazz. As your new manager... after I sign all of that junk tomorrow... What are your plans for the band? We've been aching for a new album, you know.”

Pizzazz sucked in her lip for a moment, and chewed on it while she thought that out. _You can still do this, Pizzazz. You've got at least one more hit album in you. You're only 27, you can do this._

“I want to do a rock opera. Something a little less new wave. Roxy can play drums, and she offered yesterday, Jetta will take on bass. It's going to be huge. I've got this... whole gritty fantasy setting planned. Songs about pillaging, plundering, dragons, warlocks... I just need the right edge. Since we'll be short one guitarist...”

“Blaze plays guitar.” Clash interrupted, happily prodding at what was left of the lobster she had almost immediately devoured. “She's more like, metal, but she's good. Tell her Blaze.”

“I'm... I'm okay, I guess.”

Pizzazz reached across the table and gave Blaze a quick jab on the shoulder. “Don't sell yourself short. I trust Clash's tastes. You should come by and play sometime, maybe we'll see if you've got that sound I need for Pizzazz The Conqueror.”

“That's really the name you're going with, hon? Are you a barbarian now, and can I eagerly await a fur loincloth in your future?”

Pizzazz turned to her date and squinted in irritation. “I...”  _Think of a good one, Pizzazz. Come on. You've let her get all the burns in this week._ “...Clash, I'm adding a new line to your job description. When I can't come up with a witty response, you do it for me.”

“Pizzazz wants to say she gets the armor, you get the loincloth.”

“Thank you, Clash darling.”

“On that note, though. ...not the loincloth note. I need you to swing by Starlight tomorrow so I can give you the forms to fill out. I still need to make Pizzazz fill out hers, since they've just been sitting on my dresser unsigned since yesterday.”

“You didn't tell me where was anything on the dresser to sign! Just that you left me money on the dresser!”

Again, eyes from the other patrons were on the table, this time at Pizzazz. It was Blaze's turn to choke on her drink. Clash just stared, draw dropped.

“...It was for pizza. She left me money for pizza. I hate you guys. Jem couldn't afford what I've got, if I wasn't giving it to her freely.” Pizzazz crossed her arms and pouted.

Blaze simply put a hand to her forehead and inhaled deeply through her nose. “I spent so much time telling Clash how to behave. Our first, only time at a fancy dinner. We've talked about nothing but sex, violence, and for whatever reason the merits of Batman comics. I just want to go home, meditate, and hope that Clash doesn't just choose to ignore everything else I tell her about behaving in public.”

“Aw... I love you too, Leah.” Clash kissed her date's cheek, then pulled her in for a hug. “Ooh, ooh, but public displays of affection are baaaaad. I'm doing it! Watch me doing it!”

Blaze mock-pouted in the embrace. “This is my life now. You guys made her happy. You did this. Now I have to suffer.” She sighed and returned the embrace.

“I have to ask, won't Stormer's keytar be a little bit odd with the whole fantasy thing? It's such a modern sound.” Jem asked, placing a hand on Pizzazz's shoulder. “Not that I'm suggesting you sit Stormer out, I'm just curious what your plan is.”

“Synth and fantasy can totally work together. Hell, look at Ladyhawke. That's some awesome fantasy, and it's covered in amazing synth.”

Pizzazz got only a look of confusion from Jem.

“You've... ...you people need to watch more movies. Clash, Blaze, you two go get a room. We're gonna cover this bill, and then I need to show pinkie here the greatest love story ever written. It's about this chick, but she's only this chick half of the time and a bird the rest, and she loves this guy who is a wolf whenever she's a chick, and a human whenever she's a bird, so they can't truly be together, and they're friends with the kid from Wargames, who nobody wants to be romantic around anyway.”

_I guess what I'm saying is, once of these days I'm going to break you from being Jem, and I am going to proclaim my love for Jerrica Benton, whether you want to keep your secret or not._

 


	9. Transitional Management

"You were amazing last night, you know that right?"

Jerrica lay naked against the green beanbag chair, stretched out as much as she could while an equally naked Pizzazz sprawled out over her, her head resting against her breast. A blanket had once covered them, but Pizzazz had since kicked it down to where it only hung off the backs of her lower legs.

_I'm amazing every night, Princess. Don't pretend I'm not wearing you out._

"And here I was worried you'd be uncomfortable getting so... rough." Pizzazz grinned, giving Jerrica's nipple a quick bite.

The blonde lept a little, letting out a high pitched squeal which she did her best to squelch with one hand.

"I meant the dinner, you goof. Are you really going to let Blaze join the band?" Jerrica squirmed a little, but still found herself quite pinned by her lover. "You know we should be getting up. Normally on weekends when we're here, we try to do something special with the kids. Ashely will probably start looking for me soon, if Kimber doesn't."

"If anyone asks, just tell them you're all tied up."

"That would be a lie, Pizzazz."

"But I could make it the truth, if you let me." Pizzazz grinned up at her, an almost sinister grin showing every tooth. “And yes, if she's good enough. I've given Clash a lot of shit, but I trust her enough to recommend someone that won't waste my time.”

Jerrica brought her hands down to stroke at Pizzazz's wild mess of untamed green hair, all of the spray having quit its job hours ago as her hair spread out loosely in all directions.

“What time is it even?” She asked, looking around Pizzazz's room for anything she could read it off of. “I'm surprised you don't have a clock... honestly I'm kinda surprised by a lot of what you had.”

Pizzazz laid her head back down at Jerrica's breast, hiding a frown. “Never saw a reason to. I tried to not be home that much, only when I needed to charge my batteries.”

“Batteries?”

She sighed. “Kimber told me your anxiety deal. How you can't even perform when you aren't Jem, and how you could only deal with me in that form. We aren't that different, Princess. Just that while you have Jerrica and Jem to swap between, I just have...”

“Pizzazz and Phyllis?”

Pizzazz grumbled. “Don't say that, not even you. And no, more like there's Pizzazz, and then there's nobody. There's a person who is angry and yelling at dominating every situation, and there is.... well, what you've been seeing these days.”

“Does anyone else see this?”

“Stormer several times, Roxy and Jetta maybe twice. Nobody else. Stormer only sees it when it's unavoidable. She's my emergency contact, she's my 'I'm miserable and I need human company' contact, she's my 'I'm too burnt out to go outside but I want to be around another human, wanna rent some new releases and pop some popcorn' contact.”

_And I've treated her like shit for it. I guess I'm lucky she's such a goody goody. She could have blackmailed me at any point._

“If I had asked you out when we first met, if I had left Rio, would you have accepted?”

_Like you would have left Rio for me then. You two were still a happy couple before Jem entered the picture, weren't you?_

“No. I would have assumed you were just luring me into a trap, and that I'd end up having to pay you off till the end of time to keep any lesbian activity private.”

Pizzazz sat up, hunching over towards the front of the bean bag. “Truth be told, we dated by accident.” She took a deep breath, then closed her eyes. “I was supposed to be up for auction. I didn't... exactly fill in the forms as necessary. Didn't choose a charity. So I got drunk and planned to heckle instead, then Eric showed up. ...Eric complicated things. Said I was 'incapable of caring about anyone else' or some shit while talking about the gay rumors, and how I was ruining both my career and his. ...one thing led to another, and I had to have you. Then you told me you and Jem were dating, and... ...I wanted to make Jerrica jealous. So I dated you to the best of my ability.”

“At what point did it stop being about spite?” Jerrica sat up and scooted forward, sitting herself next to Pizzazz while trying not to disturb her.

Pizzazz's eyes opened as she hung her head back, staring up into the ceiling. “Ferris wheel. I was still paranoid at that point, and I didn't understand what I was feeling, but that's when I realized that I was gaga. Right before our second kiss.” She tilted her head back down and to her side, looking to Jerrica for a response. “Now you know. Even our first date was just me being horrible again. But you were so sweet to me...”

“Did you mean it that night when you told me you loved me?”

Pizzazz felt her eyes welling up, she sucked in her lips and lightly chewed on them to try to hold back an outburst.  _You're crying -again- Pizzazz. She's seen more of your tears in the last few days than Stormer has in the last few months._

“Pizzazz, just tell me. Were you lying that first night?”

Pizzazz swallowed hard. “No... I meant every word. I loved you. I love you. I just wanted you to hold me all night... I let you do things I would have never let anyone do to me, and then I nearly died thinking I had cheated on you... I'm a horrible, garbage person, but I love you, alright?!”

Jerrica placed an arm around Pizzazz and pulled her in to give her forehead a tender kiss.

“Than that's all that matters. Honestly I think you were genuine for more of the date than you think you were, you just kept trying to excuse it. And that's ignoring all of the little Freudian slips...”

“Which I eventually made good on. I do remember warning you I wanted to stuff my face in some cotton candy.” Pizzazz sniffled, her tears starting to dry.

“...Please don't call it that. That's a horrible nickname. You don't see me bragging about licking moss.”

Pizzazz smirked. “I'm not stopping you, am I?”

Jerrica rolled her eyes. “Let's just get dressed and eat, I'm starving. My stomach hasn't gotten used to waking up so close to the crack of noon.”

 

 

 

“You know, I don't even know half of these.” Pizzazz stabbed at the twentieth sheet of the forms she had been handed with her pen, her other hand shoveling fruity pebbles into her mouth. She had skimmed over everything, or at least what could have been important. _Pinky wouldn't try to fuck me over, not like Eric. Get a grip on yourself, Pizzazz._

Clash and Blaze had come by a little earlier to talk to Jem, who Jerrica had attempted to 'call down', but instead ended up bringing down the papers herself. _To think how many times I fell for that. Knock on the door, see Jerrica, Jerrica closes the door and yells for Jem, suddenly there's Jem behind the door. Stupid, stupid._

The two had sense taken to perching on the dining table where Pizzazz ate, on either side of her, offering 'helpful' advice and fawning over at the time time, but only managed to make Pizzazz slip up and write her own thoughts in a few fields.

“Clash, you have a cute nose stop insulting it. Blaze, yes your hair is nicer, Clash stop insulting it. No, I don't care if Jem cares if you leave butt prints on that table. I think Kimber and Stormer already boffed on it this week.”

Blaze blushed, then hopped off the table “You shouldn't have sex where you eat.”

“See! Other people do it! If it's good enough for the Misfits, it's good enough for us!” Clash exclaimed.

Blaze shot Pizzazz the most threatening look she could muster, as if to say 'You did this.'

_You and Jem both, Blaze. You and Jem both._

“Where's the pink one anyway?” Pizzazz asked, finishing her cereal and passing the forms away from her, deciding she'd filled out enough of it for it to matter. _All the signatures are in the right place, I'm sure she can make up some junk if anything else was important._

“She said she was going out, something about a mouse problem. Jerrica and Shana went out with a bunch of the kids. I think it's just us three and Aja. Oh, I, uhm. I brought my equipment, if you still wanted-”

“When the other Misfits get here. I don't make a decision without them.” _Well, I -do-. But I'm not supposed to._ “The acoustics in Jem's room are pretty killer, we can test you out in there when they arrive.”

This much was true, much to Pizzazz's detriment. Jerrica must have loved how great her room was for practicing singing, but Pizzazz had found the room was the worst for trying to sing quietly to herself, or keeping certain words and noises to herself.

_At least my room is quieter. It's crowded, but quieter. We didn't get a single knock last night. ...That I noticed._

“Clash, I have one last job for you before you swap from groupie to manager.”

“Blaze won't let me boff on the dining table. ...Or with anyone but her.”

“I mean unless you're suggesting a th-”

Pizzazz's eyes went wide and she jerked out of the chair. “An errand! Not a euphemism! I'm... hair! I need a new look. People are thinking I'm going soft, I need to fix that!”

Blaze and Clash both looked away sheepishly.

“I... not that I'm not flattered. ...If you asked Jem, maybe.” _Imagine the tabloid scandal from that one, Pizzazz. Misfits-on-Hologram four-way uncovered._ “But that... that's a whole other conversation to have. Down the line. The future, hair today.”

“What do you have in mind? I've got some tools in the trunk, we could hit up a beauty shop if there's anything-”

“Shaver, aluminum foil, petroleum jelly, and some pink dye. I've still got my hairspray, dry shampoo, and my teasing brush.” _I'll show them all, Pizzazz still has it. I'll kick every ass I need to. The Misfits will come back. Stronger, harder, faster, and my dad will rue the day he sold us off. How will you like that, Harvey? My girlfriend's going to get all the revenue you used to get._

 

 

 

“Well, how does it look?”

“We wanna see!”

Pizzazz angrily looked herself over in the mirror. _This is going to work, right? This looks fine? Can I be seen like this?_

She had allowed Clash to shave off the sides of her head, then dyed the first few inches of her hair pink, as well as adding in a few pink streaks. Once it was time to rinse, she had locked herself in the bathroom with supplies to begin the styling process.

It had taken a good fifty minutes, during which Roxy and Jetta had apparently arrived and were instructed to 'wait in the hallway and don't touch anything' by Clash, in what Pizzazz called her 'first managerial duty.'

Her hair now stood straight up and and out in a wide, spiky mohawk. A long lock of green and pink hair hung down from the back of her head and over her shoulders, coming down below her breasts.

“You can do this, Pizzazz. Carpe Roseam.” _No, no, not the right attitude. Say it better. Say it Pizzazzier!_ “TONIGHT YOU SLEEP IN HELL!” _Yeah, great, that'll do. Go harass some Scottish guys._

“Does she usually do this?” Blaze's voice came muffled through the other side of the bathroom door.

“She went full Ahab in her sleep once.” She heard Clash respond.

_Note to self, don't fall asleep near anyone ever again._

Pizzazz jerked open the bathroom door, jutted her head out, and snapped “I can hear all of you, you know! Every single word said in this room can be heard everywhere else!”

“She's not kidding!” Roxy shouted from the hallway.

“This would be a good time to ask if you could courteously work on your volume issues!” A very muffled Aja could be heard shouting from elsewhere on the second floor. “At least at night! There are some things siblings shouldn't know about each other!”

Pizzazz gritted her teeth together and scrunched up her nose, fire in her eyes as she gripped tightly against the wooden door frame.

Blaze and Clash smiled and clapped. “You look fantastic!” “Totally badass, Pizzazz!”

“Are you going to change how you dress too? Blaze has a few tops that might-”

“I'm fine. I've been wearing zebra stripes since I was 13, I don't see that changing any time soon.”

“Can we come in now? Jetta promises she won't touch anything!” Roxy shouted.

_I can't promise I won't put my foot up Jetta's ass again._

“Yeah, yeah! Blaze, you all set up?”

“I uhm, sure, yeah, I guess. Maybe? Ready as I'll ever be I guess.”

Roxy dragged a particularly angry looking Jetta into the room by the arm.

“So what's all this, then? You're adding a fifth Misfit already? We 'aven't even recorded much makin' use of our fourth Misfit! Me!”

“To be frank, I always saw you as the fifth Misfit, after Clash. If we all agree on this, Blaze would be the sixth Misfit.”

Clash beamed at that, but Roxy just furrowed her brow harder and let out a huff.

“Oh what, so Clash outranks me now? What, is it because she banged you and I didn't? So, what, fancy a shag in a crappy laundry room?”

Blaze squinted her eyes and scratched at her head. “Joan Jett?”

Clash stared at her for a moment, then pinched at the bridge of her nose and shook her head down at the ground, grumbling.

“...oookay. First off, technically she didn't bang me. Or vice versa. I went down on her -once-, and I saw her as a fourth Misfit long before then. She's been with the band long enough, she's done enough for us. Really, some of our shows probably couldn't have happened without her help. For hell's sake, she risked jail time for me so many times.”

Pizzazz walked over to Clash and threw an arm around her shoulder. “Secondly, she does out rank you. Clash is our new Eric. She's nicer, more dependable, and she has a cute nose.”

“So, we finally free of Eric then? Because good fuckin' riddance.” Jetta tugged her arm free from Roxy's grasp. “I can accept this. Girl band, girl manager. No scheming rat-faced wankers.”

Blaze suddenly looked uncomfortable. She was fumbling with her guitar, a cheap, worn-looking red Warlock. “I, uh. I guess I have something to say first, then.”

“No, you don't. Not if you don't want to. You're a woman, and everyone here will accept that either way.” Pizzazz held her hand up to interrupt her.

Roxy scratched her head. “Did I miss something there?”

“I'm... a transgender woman.”

Roxy and Jetta exchanged a confused glance.

“What, like Tula?” Asked Roxy.

Blaze hugged her guitar close to her, unsure of the response she was getting. “I'm not sure I-”

“Tula. She's this cute model back home, I used to know her before she got big, you know. She did some work with that supergroup Duran Duran formed with Robert Palmer. She's been fighting to be legally recognized as a woman the last couple years.”

_...Jetta continues to surprise me. I don't like surprises, even positive ones._

“I, I guess. Yes?”

Jetta shrugged. “'S'no issue then. Wankers in parliament don't see it that way, but I do. You're a woman.”

Roxy gave a nod. “Yeah I was expecting something bad. You are whatever you are, what matters is if you can play.”

_They're more accepting than I thought. ...Maybe I misjudged these two._

“Well, can you?” Pizzazz sat herself on the bed and gestured for Roxy, Jetta, and Clash to do the same. “...Where's Stormer?”

“It took you this long to ask that? She's not been here this whole time.” Jetta gave a cackle. “Show's how much you think of our opinions after all, don't it?”

Pizzazz growled angrily. “She's quiet! And out of the way! Sometimes I miss when she's not around... where the hell is she!?”

Clash raised her hand, looking less a manager and more like a terrified student in high school.

“...Yes, Clash?”

“She and Kimber went out to see some movie about killer clowns. But, Stormer and Kimber already heard Blaze play and Stormer really really liked her.”

_This is why I don't show a softer side, Jerrica. I show a softer side, and they think they can get away with anything. I'm losing control over my band here._

Pizzazz angrily slammed her fist down on the bed, bouncing Clash lightly. “Why do you people never listen to me!?”

“We listen to you, but you boss us around t'much! Y'know how many messages I found when I got back with Roxy? Like what were you even expecting of me with this auction business!?”

“I was expecting you to tell me where you are! I'm the LEADER of the Misfits, I know where everyone is!”

“Yet you didn't know everyone else was g-”

CL-ASH! Jingle, jingle, CL-ASH!

Everyone turned their attention to Clash, who had begun smacking her cymbal bracelets together. “She's going to start! Now pay attention!” She looked over their faces, then backed down. “...Please? ...don't fire me.”

“I couldn't if I wanted to, that's Jem's call.”

Jetta snorted. “I knew all of your angry words were just an act. You're Jem's bitch now, right?”

_Oh that does it you limey piece of-_

“I AM NOBODY'S ANYTHING! I make decisions! I can dominate anyone!”

“Stormer said Kimber told her that you almost put on a collar that Jem gave you.” Roxy nodded towards Jetta.

“I- ...You can dominate while... I. …Clash, go.”

“Pizzazz is trying to say that while she's complete submissive, she still has full control of the situation. Also she's really, really demandy the whole time, which the correct term is-”

_What, that. THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS PUTTING TO WORDS! And I don't remember you complaining that night._

“Thanks, Clash. You're a real help. I might as well have Eric defending me.” Pizzazz buried her face in her hands. “Blaze, please, play before I kill everyone, because I fucking know how to turn this place into the Danger Room now.”

Blaze awkwardly nodded. “Alright, uhm. Any... ...any requests?”

“Depeche Mode's Strangelove seems appropriate.”

“That's not even guitar intensive! I swear to god Jetta I will-”

CL-ASH! Jingle, jingle, CL-ASH!

“Just play something new, I don't care what! Anything's better than Jetta's shouting, Roxy's bumbling, and Clash's... clash.”

Blaze nodded again, adjusted her amp and the only effect pedal she had, took a deep breath, and began the opening riff of Living Colour's Cult of Personality.

Everyone quietened down and watched in awe as the timid girl was suddenly full of energy, belting out the vocals without a microphone. Her voice was big, hard, and loud, filling the room and captivating the Misfits instantly.

_Clash, you've been hiding this from us this entire time?_

“Well... shite. She's got my vote, Rox?”

Roxy nodded. “This is what we need to put the Holograms back in their place. Pizzazz?”

“We'll bury them. Blaze, you're in. From now on, you need to carry yourself with pride. Never show weakness.” Pizzazz stood up and placed both hands on Blaze's shoulders as the taller girl reverted to her more timid state. “Because now, you are a Misfit. And there is nothing better.”

Clash raised her hand again. _Why do you keep doing that. You're a manager now, act like it._ “Uhm, is it a conflict of interest now that we're dating? I mean, can we still-”

“Wait, Clash is gay too?” Roxy looked to Clash, then back to Jetta. “Did I miss something?”

“...Roxy dear, I do believe Clash was speaking from experience in dealing with Pizzazz.”

Pizzazz cleared her throat. “No, keep going at it. I'm dating your boss, Roxy and Jetta are dating, Stormer's dating the enemy and I don't intend to stop. Just... please nobody else date a Hologram.”

“Well, I mean Jerrica is my boss, not Jem. But I see your point...” Clash lept up excitedly and tackled Blaze, kissing her repeatedly on the face. “You're a Misfit! I'M DATING A MISFIT! ...I'M MANAGING THE MISFITS! This is every fangirl's dream! My little heart can't take it!”

_And there it is, the happiest I'll ever make another human being._

“Who wants to go celebrate with us!?” Clash shouted.

Suddenly Jem's bedroom phone began to rang.

“I should probably take that. You guys go on without me. You're under direct orders to party so hard that Stormer learns to never, ever miss another band meeting.”

The others said their goodbyes and helped Blaze carry her equipment out of the room, both Blaze and Clash having to stop to give Pizzazz a hug as she picked up the phone.

As she listened to the other end, her face twisted from annoyance to excitement.

“Actually, this -is- Pizzazz. ...Yeah. Yeah we would like that. You name the date and we'll be there. Monday? We'll be there.”

_This is how you get back in the spotlight, Pizzazz. You've found your new sound, you're making progress on writing another album, and now you get to address the world at large._

“Hey Pizzazz? I wouldn't normally ask this, but Kimber was supposed to help me out today and nobody seems to know where she is.” Aja's voice came from behind the just-cracked-open door, careful not to open it further.

_Someone in this house respects privacy. I like that. I'm glad I didn't draw on your face._

Pizzazz hung up the phone and walked over to the bedroom door, opening it wider. “She snuck off with Stormer, seeing some movie about clowns. What do you need?”

Aja looked at her in confusion, mouthing the word clowns then swearing under her breath. “I'm not comfortable driving the roadster, and Raya's flying back in from her summer vacation today. Could you help me pick her up at the airport?”

_Me? Drive the Rockin' Roadster? ...Oh. My. Fun._

Pizzazz's devious smile betrayed her inner thoughts as it curled upward from ear to ear, fangs bared.

_I get to drive Jem's car. I get to do anything I want in the Jem car. I CAN SPEED IN JEM'S CAR!_

“I mean I'll be with you, so no funny business. Will you help me out?”

_My girlfriend's got a Rockin' Roadster, with no insurance to match, so if I happen to run you down, please don't leave a scratch._

Aja waved a hand in front of Pizzazz's face, unnerved by the delighted expression on her face. “Pizzazz? Are you feeling okay?”

“WE RIDE!”

 

 

 

Pizzazz flopped out across the front seat as she waited out in front of the airport for Aja to come back with Raya. She had dug through to try to find any tapes to her liking, but had only found music that was below her, and a few Holograms demos. _So full of yourself you even listen to your own music, don't you Jerrica?_

He had found herself lying on her back, staring at the sun in her light-green rimmed sunglasses, mouthing the words to Information Society's What's On Your Mind as it played over the car's radio, eventually singing along to it and tapping her heels against the passenger side door to the beat.

“Why is Pizzazz singing in our car?”

“It's, well, a long story. She drove me.”

Pizzazz shot up in her seat, backing against the driver's door, knees bent as her feet scrunched back on the seat. She looked around with a fright, not having heard them step up to the car. Raya was hunched over the hood, looking down at her. She was wearing a white floral patterned top with a red and blue vest and matching skirt, her huge salmon colored hair blowing in the wind.

“I think I scared her.”

Pizzazz looked down and realized the position she was in, quickly shifting to something more natural.

“I... ...I didn't hear you. You shouldn't startle people! I could have run you over!”

Aja just shook her head at Raya. “She's harmless, I promise. If you want you can have the backseat, I'll keep an eye on her up front.”

_HARMLESS? Scared? I'll show you, I'll show both of you!_

“Hold on there just a minute. I've had enough of you breathing down my neck. Raya, sit your ass down next to me. Aja, get her bags. I'm calling the shots on the radio, you got that!?”

_If I can't boss around the Misfits anymore I can at least take pride in bossing around the Holograms._

“Her bag's already in the trunk, Pizzazz. I was wondering how long it would take you to even notice I was here.” Aja responded curtly, hopping into the backseat. “You don't need to yell so often.”

_Oh but I apparently do, and it works._

Pizzazz popped open the passenger door and patted at the seat next to her impatiently. “Let's get a move on. I have some stuff to do before Jerrica gets home and I've had a lot of distracts!”

As soon as Raya was seated, Pizzazz turned the key in the ignition and they were off, seat belts be damned.

“So, there are some changes around Starlight Mansion now. Pizzazz lives with us now, and Jerrica owns their label.”

“That's a lot to take in, what exactly happened in the last three weeks?”

“I will let Pizzazz take this one, I'm not sure how she would prefer to phrase things.”

_And what's that supposed to mean, Aja?_

Pizzazz's grip on the wheel tightened, but for the most part she managed to keep herself from going much beyond the speed limit, as tempting as it was. _I don't want her angry at me, not again._

“Jem's my girlfriend now. Dad didn't want a gay daughter, or a daughter period. So, I sleep in her room, mess with Synergy when I'm bored, and teach the kids how it's cool to do drugs and talk to strangers. There, you're about up to speed.”

_You can almost say it non-chalantly now, Pizzazz. Good for you. It doesn't sound so weird anymore, does it? You're dating Jem. You're dating Jerrica. You want to be Mrs. Pizzazz Benton-Gabor now, don't you? What is even wrong with you?_

Raya turned to face Aja. “Is she messing with me?”

“Only about that last part. ...I hope with that last part, at least. Yes, Jerrica and Pizzazz are now romantically involved.”

“Well, I'm happy for you. You always seemed like such a sad person before, I'm glad you've found someone to make you happy. Are your bandmates supportive, at least?”

Pizzazz snorted. “Stormer's dating Kimber. Roxy's dating Jetta. We just added a new girl and she's been dating Clash for... I actually don't know how long. We're the Lesfits, our songs are gayer.”

Raya again turned to Aja. Aja just shrugged.

“Still not messing with you. If it's any consolation, most of that was new information for me too.”

The car was silent for a few moments, then Raya snapped to attention. “Wait, Pizzazz knows about Jerrica?”

“She told Pizzazz, apparently. I was surprised too.”

“She didn't exactly have any other choice. It turns out that falling asleep while hologrammed isn't a great idea.”

Raya nodded. “I found out by mistake too, though I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

_Were you in the right place, Pizzazz?_

“This is all good news though, right? No more fighting between the bands, no more sabotage. Love conquered all.”

_Oh don't put it like that. You're going to make me turn this car into a pole out of spite!_

“That is a sweet way of looking at it, Raya. Jerrica won out against the Misfits through love.”

_Aja I swear I will put you in the trunk_

Pizzazz felt herself blushing intensely. “I, let's. I'm going to turn the radio up, and things are about to get fast, so buckle up! Also word of warning, I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE!”

“You never told me you di-”

“RADIO TIME!”

 

 

 

They pulled in front of Starlight Mansion just in time to find Rio, Jem, Kimber, and Stormer embroiled in an argument near the front steps. Pizzazz lept out of the car as soon as she'd stopped, the keys left in the ignition as she marched her way over to them.

“There a problem here, Rio?”

Rio turned to her. “Why is -Pizzazz- here now?”

“Because you're yelling at my girlfriend and my best friend.”

“Pizzazz, calm down. Nobody's yelling at anyone, we're just... Kimber lied to me to go out on a date again.”

Stormer looked down at the ground, awkwardly rubbing at her arm. Kimber, however, looked ready to fight. “We needed a date to ourselves! It's the weekend, we wanted to see a movie! I mean how many dates have you and Pizzazz had in a week!?”

_T-...two? Three? Does the Mexican restaurant count?_

“Wait, you're dating Pizzazz? As in, beyond your obligations after the auction?”

Raya rolled her suitcase out behind them, cheerfully. “They're girlfriends and it's cute! You two are cute too, Kimber. You guys gotta help me find someone at this rate, getting all envious.” She made her way inside without ever once stopping.

“And you didn't tell me?”

“It doesn't really impact the band, so I didn't see a reason to. ...And I thought you followed rag papers.”

Rio crossed his arms, grunting in frustration. “Forgive me if a few low quality photographs and the headline 'New Wave Lesbian Sensation' aren't enough to convince me. But this, Jem. This is what I mean. This is why Kimber isn't honest with you, because you're not honest with anyone else. And now Jerrica expects me to work with Eric Raymond and Clash...”

“Hey, if you have a problem with Clash you can take it up with me!” Pizzazz jabbed a finger into Rio's chest, pushing him back a bit. “Jem's doing just fine without your help! In fact, I just got us a talk show appearance day after tomorrow!”

Rio and Jem turned their heads to face each other, then turned back to Pizzazz.

“You -what-!?”

“It was easy. We were doing a little audition for Blaze in your bedroom, by the way Stormer she's in, and I got a call on your phone. Harriet Horn wants us on her show, she wants to talk about-”

“I know what she wants to talk about! I told her no twice over already! God damn it Pizzazz...”

And with that, Pizzazz's heart sank. It was the second time that week Jem had raised her voice to her, and it was still hard to hear. _I didn't... I didn't know. I thought..._

“But, that's what you do with rumors. You set them straight, right?”

“This is what I mean, Jem. You need to work out your communication issues before you start up on another album, or this could end up being the end of the Holograms. Apparently you and Jerrica both have issues talking to your partners, t-”

In a flash Rio was on the ground, on his ass. Pizzazz's fist had connected with his face so fast nobody even reacted until she was already moving to tackle him while he was still down. “Pizzazz, no! He-” Jem tried her best to pull off her angry, green haired lover, but before she could another punch had landed at Rio's right eye.

“Jerrica deserved better than you, you asshole! You killed that relationship, not her! APOLOGIZE!”

Rio tried his best to struggle free, wiggling under Pizzazz. Finally Kimber and Stormer joined Jem and pulled Pizzazz off by the arms, letting Rio slowly get back up to his feet.

“Rio, I'm sorry, Pizzazz is just... Rio. Rio!”

It was too late, Rio stormed over to his car and took off.

Pizzazz was breathing heavy as she leaned back against the others, a big toothy grin dominating her face.

_You've still got it, Pizzazz. You've still got it._

 

 

 

“We'll talk more tomorrow, alright? I just... I don't want to see you right now.” Jerrica said softly, holding back tears as she closed her bedroom door in Pizzazz's face.

There had been a lot of yelling in the preceding hours. Stormer and Kimber had surprisingly lept to Pizzazz's defense, but Jerrica didn't want to hear any of it.

“I know why she did it, that doesn't make it right. Rio's still my friend, and that's the second black eye she's even in two days.”

Kimber's own black eye was healing nicely, but it still shown underneath copious amounts of her red eye shadow. She had, however, apparently told Stormer that the black eye was accidental, sparking a fresh argument between the two of them and Pizzazz.

_Love conquers all my ass. Watch me break up two bands at once, Raya._

Pizzazz held Madmartigan close with one arm. _At least you're not angry at me. Yet._ She took him into her room, closed the door behind her, and immediately flopped back-first onto the beanbag chair.

“One week tomorrow, and I'm already drained.”

She turned to her side, staring off into her room for awhile. Madmartigan found himself a comfortable spot on top of the TV.

_Maybe I should just leave. She's right, I've fought two people already. I never even got around to cleaning up in her bathroom after doing my hair... Why does that bother me, that's so trivial right now._

_...This room doesn't have a bathroom. Oh fucking hell my pills._

Pizzazz rolled back over to look up at the ceiling, eyes wide.

_Do I... do I knock and ask? She seemed really angry. I don't want to bother her anymore... but it's fairly important I get those pills._

_You can't do anything right, Pizzazz. You can't even fight right. This is why you needed people to fight your battles for you, Pizzazz. This is why you always took a backseat back then. You can't handle them yourself, you just make it all worse._

_You're going to knock on her door, and she's going to be angrier, because you won't give her the space she asked for, and then you're going to get yelled at, and you're just going to end up in the same position you were in before._

_I just wanted to defend her. Rio basically insulted her to her face._

_I'm sorry that I don't exactly have better tools to work with here, princess. I can sing, I can play guitar, I can punch. What else do you want? I did drama and beauty pageants, and the latter were all my mom's idea._

_What if she looks through my stuff? Why did I even leave anything in there. Why do I never think these things through._

There came a knock at the door.

_Oh who the hell am I bothering now?_

She slowly forced herself out of the beanbag chair, opening the door a crack to peek around it. It was Jerrica, in a pink robe.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know if you were asleep already...”

_Asleep already? Didn't we just talk? ...how long have I been in here._

“I can't sleep. I... I came across too harsh, and I'm sorry. Rio's... Rio's a nice guy, but he's such an asshole sometimes when it comes to his trust issues.”

Pizzazz's head hung down, her expression unchanging.

“Look... I still love you, I'm not breaking up with you over this or anything. I just... we both need to work on communication, alright? We're a couple now, we need to work together on things.”

_I really want to respond right now. I can't get a word out. Nothing is leaving my mouth right now. Why is nothing leaving my mouth right now?_

“I can see you're still upset with me though, so I'll just... I'll be back in my room, okay?”

_Make words now, Pizzazz!_

“I... pill bag, room. Small, lightning bolt shaped, I need it, I had to take something at 10.”

“...It's midnight, hon.”

_I've been laying in there yelling at myself for four hours. ...yeah this is why I don't have a clock, princess._

“I'm... I didn't want to bother you _.”_

Jerrica slumped over at that, holding herself up by her palms on either side of the door frame. “I... Pizzazz. Waking me up to get something important? Not bothering me. Punching friends and setting up public appearances without asking me, that bothers me.”

Pizzazz chewed on her lip for a moment.

“...oh.”

Jerrica sighed. “Just... ...get in here, and stop making me want to hug you. I wanted to be mad at you tonight.”

“I... I need to be alone for awhile, I'm not going to be any fun to be around right now. I'm sorry. Just, if you could get me the bag.”

Jerrica gave a sad look, then made her way back to her room to grab the bag.

_I... ...am I doing the right thing now?_

“There's no pills in the bag, are you sure you don't have them?”

_There's no... oh, no. No, oh god where are they?_

Pizzazz jerked open her door the rest of the way and ran into Jem's room, looking over each self closely.

_It needs to be in here, I know I took them last night. Think, Pizzazz. Think. Where did you take them. It was right before we watched Ladyhawke, it was..._

Jerrica was two steps ahead of her, opening up the wall to reveal the large TV and the attached VCR.

“Found them, I think.” She held the bottle up to inspect it.

_No, no no no no no._

Jerrica just started at the bottle for a moment, then placed it back down, looking to Pizzazz for an answer.

“I... I can explain.”

 

 


	10. Homecoming

_They're Blaze's._

_I'm menopausal._

_That's actually pot. In pill form. Innocuous much?_

_Form an excuse, damn it._

"I... ...love you?" Pizzazz mustered out sheepishly.

Jerrica looked over the bottle, then back at Pizzazz again. "I have a feeling I'm the one out of the loop this time."

"I... nobody knows but Stormer! I moved, the surgery, name change, my birth certificate doesn't even- I mean, it's all..."  _You're babbling, Pizzazz._ "I don't like anybody knowing and only Stormer knows because I've needed help before and now you know and yes I'm a liar! I'll just... ...give me those, I'll go to my room!"

Jerrica just stared in confusion.

"Well? Say something. Shout! I don't know! Give me the pills and kick my ass out!"

"Pizzazz, calm down. All I was going to ask was if you were going to be alright. I don't like being out of the loop if you have any life-threatening conditions, and I guess I've never known anyone that takes estrogen."

_...Nice, Pizzazz. Very nice. Stick your head in an oven and cry. Why would she even know what that was for? You overreacted! YOU ALWAYS OVERREACT! You just spilled 14 years worth of beans all over the place, over nothing_

Pizzazz crumbled on Jerrica's bed, splayed out, and began laughing her ass off. 

_Today's amazing. I need Rio's face back in here._

She felt the bed shift as Jerrica sat down next to her, then felt her hands cupping one of hers.

"You can tell me about anything, Pizz. I'd hoped you had learned that by now. I don't think you can say anything that could shock me at this point."

_Is that a challenge?_

"I mean, short of telling me where bodies are buried."

Pizzazz sighed angrily, then made her way out of the bedroom, returning moments later with worn, leather-bound book that she plopped onto Jerrica's lap.

"Open it.. five or six pages in." Pizzazz grumbled, pulling her legs up onto the bed and crossing them under her. "I'll tell you where."

Jerrica did as she was told, pulling the book open to two pages full of similar photos to what Pizzazz had given to Blaze the day before. A mohawked Pizzazz posing cutely with a blonde haired nerdy girl.

"You two were really cute together. I see you've gone back to a similar hairstyle... I'm not sure what this has to do with anything-"

"Just, just keep turning the page."

She flipped to the next page, then the next. There were more pictures of the couple together, until Jerrica finally hit a page of nothing but single photos, mixed with various clippings, movie tickets, and stickers.

"New school, there. I guess I took to scrap-booking to occupy my time."

Jerrica stared over the photos carefully. There was only the blonde now, but she looked different in ways she couldn't quite place. She was certainly more feminine looking, but also now displaying a level of intense anger in all of her photos that Jerrica had rarely seen. At celebrations, graduation, as she flipped through the pages there was only one increasingly bitter looking blonde woman, until finally...

"That would be the birth of the Misfits... look at that blue haired goon." Pizzazz said flatly, pointing towards a photo of a young Stormer in a blue sweater and lavender skirt, standing with the blonde woman in a similar skirt and a pink sweater with a yellow 'P' over it.

"I'm... confused. So you were the one that Alicia had to defend? But, I-"

Pizzazz laid back against the bed, placing both of her palms flat against her face, covering her eyes with her fingers. "Alicia protected me all those years... then I made one little fuckup. Left the country for a time. ...my parents funded some operations, so I wouldn't bring shame to the family any more. Had my name changed, records altered... came back to high school in a new town as Phyllis."

"...That would mean you're..."

"Yeah. Yeah it would. I don't... I didn't see it as something I was hiding from you. Just a thing that I don't want to matter anymore. ...But yes, Jerrica. I'm a transgender woman."

"I see."

_Brace for the worst, Pizzazz. You can do this. You're stronger now. You can defend yourself. You've already beaten one person today, two in two days. You can do this._

"Is there anything else you aren't telling me?"

_Yeah, sure, why not._

Pizzazz took a deep breath and started counting off her fingers as she listed.

_"_ Thunder storms scare me. I have three pairs of footy pajamas with hoods. I had a one night stand with Rapture. I posed as my own road manager once and had sex with a girl in exchange for Misfits tickets for her and her girlfriend. I love Dolly Parton and my second favorite movie is Rhinestone. I was ready to accept a wedding proposal the other night, I thought David Bowie was a woman named Ziggy and I wanted to marry her when I was little, Stormer and I almost formed a country pop band, I almost dated a girl with braces in high school but I just bullied her and called her Braceface Cottontail because her teeth stuck out, Roxy joined the band because I chickened out while asking her out for the first time and asked if she wanted to join instead, and I can't do math to save my life."

_There. I think that's every single secret I have in me._

Jerrica took a deep breath, closed the album and sat it next to her.

_Alright, now the yelling begins._

There was silence for a moment, tense and cold, not even the sound of Jerrica breathing. Then she got up, made her way over to her closet, and began moving stuff around.

_Is she... looking for a suitcase for me? I mean that's... that's a polite way to do this, I guess. That's fine._

Jerrica came back over to the bed, holding out a pink and purple polka dotted journal, and laid it out on Pizzazz's lap. "Sit up, I want you to see something, and then I want an apology."

"I know I should have told you, I'm sorry but-"

"I said sit up."

Pizzazz pulled herself back up. She had stopped crying at least, but found herself grabbing hold of the bed sheets to restrain herself.

"Flip till you find the end of September, 1978."

_...What is even going on here? I just want to leave already._

Pizzazz skipped through the journal, scribbled notes written in pen with various different inks, mixed in with stickers and various little doodles.  _This is her diary. Why the hell am I reading Jerrica's -diary-?_ Towards the middle of the journal she hit September 27 th , 1978, and Jerrica placed a hand on her shoulder.

"There. Read it."

_Tomorrow I'm going to do it. Homecoming is Friday, and I know who I want to ask out. She's a senior and I'm only a junior, but I've heard some rumors. Well, Kimber heard rumors. She's always been such a meanie, but I think she has a sensitive side, and those skirts, meow. I told Kimber I was going to ask Eric instead. I still don't know how I'm going to tell her._

_Wish me luck._

"Jerrica, I-"

"Read the next entry."

"I don't want to. ...I know how this ends."

"Just, please."

_I hate this, I hate all of this. I don't know what I was thinking. I came up to her after school, and I just stammered at her. She got irritated at me, and I just pushed the chocolates on her and blurted out that I thought she was cute._

_I made her so mad. She just yelled at me for an eternity about if she looked like a dyke, or if I was trying to imply anything, or if I thought any of it was funny, and all I did was cry and run away._

_Great job, Jerrica. Spend homecoming alone, crying._

"...Out of everything I just showed you. You're angry that I yelled at you ten years ago? I mean yes, I was horrible. I reacted wrong. How was I supposed to know you were being honest!? And it's not like I didn't try to catch up, but you were a fast little rabbit..."

Jerrica winced.

"...Sorry. Old... old habit there. You've grown into your features since then, you know. And without the braces honestly you're unrecognizable."

Pizzazz thought back on all of the jokes she had made at Jerrica's expense that year, even attaching rabbit ears to her hair with gum at one point.

_I was... okay I'm not perfect, but I'm better now than I was -then-._

"You put me back in the closet for a decade, and you made the rest of my junior year a living hell until your graduation!"

"I... ...it was your fault! I was a bitch to you before, and you wanted to date me! I thought that, well..."

Jerrica's eyes went wide, and she brought a hand to cover her mouth. "You... Did you think I wanted to date you because you were horrible to me!?"

"Yes! Kinda! I thought that if you liked that, well, I've got more of it. I thought you'd pick up the hint!"

_...Oh god damn it that's why Starlight House looked so familiar. I TP'd that thing! I asked if you wanted to..._

"...you wanna pick up some chili fries and cry about it, rabbit?"

"I thought things seemed familiar... the way you chose to ask me out. The insults, the bullying all these years... I guess I never put two and two together until now."

_I'm dating the girl I bullied in high school. I'm... dating the girl I bullied in high school. I'm dating the girl with the teeth that wouldn't stay behind her lips. I'm dating -rabbit-. ...Wait._

"Do you not care about me being transgender?"

Jerrica sighed angrily, throwing her hands up in the air. "I'm just... No, not really, no. Did you care that I was Jerrica all this time? ...Do you care that I was -Rabbit-, 'Ellen'?"

"...No."

“Then why should I care? You aren't whatever you were born with, you aren't whatever name you were given at birth. You're Pizzazz. You're the stuck up blonde bitch I crushed on in high school. You're the violent, over the top green haired glam rocker I fell in love with. You are you.”

_Am I even those things anymore, princess?_

"Though I just.. why Ellen? Why did you lie about your name back then? Were you hiding from anyone? Is it because you hated Phyllis?"

"Phyllis is too close to a name that never belonged to me. Ellen suited just fine until I became Pizzazz, but even that never felt like a name. ...so I prefer Pizzazz. Just straight Pizzazz."

Jerrica smirked. "Straight Pizzazz that tried to bully her way into some girl's pants when she was 17."

Hey! _You came onto -me-. Not my fault you won me over so easily._

"You were so horrible to me... you were so horrible to me even after that, when you didn't know it was me. Did... did you know? Is that why you kept it up?"

Pizzazz closed the journal and placed it next to her on the bed, stood up, and moved closer to Jerrica.

"I think I knew. You look different, but... y'know, deep down, you've always been you too. Even when you're Jem, you're you. Sickeningly sweet, overly sentimental, pastels everywhere, and a dire need to butt into everyone's business and make everything 'right'."

Her arms flung around Jerrica tightly, going up under her arms, her hands brushing the back of Jerrica's head.

"...and you haven't changed so much yourself. Powered by spite, prone to yelling, violent, and easily confused by acts of compassion." Jerrica's tone was flat, but she gave a sigh and put her own arms around Pizzazz. "I can forgive you... I saw goodness in you then, and I've seen goodness in you now. You're not evil, just... confused."

_Thanks, princess. Only you can word 'you're not evil' like it's an insult._

"Do I still look amazing in a skirt? I do believe your exact word was 'meow', with a kitty face drawn above it."

Jerrica's face turned as red as her sister's hair. "I... you have nice gams, okay?"

"-Gams-?" Pizzazz croaked out a laugh, burying her face into Jerrica's neck as the years made their comeback.

"...Legs. Shut up. Just... shut up and hold me."

Pizzazz made a few muffled sounds in response, but kept her face buried.

"Wait. ...Wedding proposal? ...Did you think I was-. The collar? ...Oh Pizzazz, that's. That's sweet, but wow. That's a tad fast. Give us a year at least."

_You're staying with me, then? You're staying with me..._

 

 

 

“Pizzazz, honey. It's time to get up.”

Pizzazz rolled onto her back, but her eyes remained shut. A soft murmur escaped her lips, and then she drifted back to sleep.

“Pizzazz, please. This is important.”

_Sleep important, Jerrica. Sleep important._

“You told me the booking was for 'day after tomorrow', right?”

_Sleeping, silly. Not booking. Sleeping till tomorrow._

Jerrica shook her by the shoulders roughly. “Pizzazz, seriously wake up! I've never known anyone that slept this hard...”

Pizzazz's eyes fluttered open and she attempted to form words, but none of them made sense.

“Pizzazz, sweetie, come on. You said day after tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Monday. Day after tomorrow.”

“...Pizzazz, you told me this Sunday. Yesterday was Sunday, Pizzazz.”

_No it wasn't. Tuesday I bid on you. We went out Wednesday. I got disowned Thursday. Friday I moved in. Saturday we went out with Blaze and Clash. Sunday I-_

“Oh fucking shit it's Sunday night.”

“...Monday morning, honey. Late Monday morning at that. Taping starts in six hours. I... Pizzazz. Please, from now on, don't do anything like this again. I... what do we even say? I haven't had time.”

_Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

“Fuck.”

“Just, get clothes on. I need to work this out with everyone else, since whatever I say reflects on the band, alright? Have you talked this over with The Misfits already?”

Pizzazz scratched roughly at her head as she groggily sat up. “Talked over what?”

“...you publicly addressing rumors of homosexuality, honey. The show? Tonight?”

_Rumors?_

“My band knows I'm gay. They know you're gay. Nothing really else to tell them.”

“I... for starters, I'm bi. I mean I was with Rio for three years, off-and-on. ...and I might have had a brief crush on Eric once.”

_...Eric Raymond? For hell's sake, Jerrica. You can do better. ...I mean, you -are- doing better, but that's a low fucking bar. There's a reason why he lives with Techrat, I mean nobody's gay for Techrat._

“Secondly, don't you think that maybe coming out publicly as gay might impact them negatively? I mean you don't have to worry about losing label support, obviously, but there's always boycotts. It could destroy your reputation in America.”

“So... what, is little miss perfect suggesting I go on national television and lie? My my, I am -shocked-.” Pizzazz mockingly put a hand over her mouth as if she was gasping, then leaned over the bed to begin her search for discarded underwear from the previous night.

Jerrica sighed in frustration. “I'm not... I don't know. I don't know what I'm suggesting. I'm being lectured on honesty by a -Misfit-. I think that says how unprepared I am for all of this.”

“I'm gonna be all girl scout about this, 'Well, Harriet, who could resist an ass like that? Could you? Well I couldn't either. I rest my case, and plea gay as charged.'”

Jerrica slumped her shoulders and gave a mock pout. “You're not going to take any of this seriously no matter what I say, are you?”

“Frankly, the more you try to make me take this seriously, the less I'm going to take this seriously.”

“Look, I'll... ...I'll be back, okay. You... you call anyone you want, work this out how you want to. You should really bring one of your own outfits, I know you've... strangely had fun wearing a few of mine this week but... ...what are you even looking for?”

Pizzazz threw her arms up in the air in frustration. “I can't find my bra anywhere!”

“Pizzazz, you weren't wearing a bra when you first came here, and I can guarantee you haven't worn one since. ...your panties are by the door.”

“Just... ….shut up. I'm not a morning person.”

“10:30AM barely qualifies as morning, sweetie. And considering you were about to wear a cat collar the other night I'm not really sure there's a time of day where you aren't a bit absent minded.” Jerrica opened up the bedroom door and began to step out.

_I'm... ...offended. I take offense to this. I... I'll show you!_

“Well I'm sorry that you cupped my tits for so long last night that I forgot I haven't been wearing a bra!”

“For the love of... there are -kids- here you two! Maybe don't scream out about your sex lives so early in the day!” Shana's voice shouted from in the hallway.

“I.... I wasn't shouting! Pizzazz is just... Pizzazz is...”

“Naked and needing her cuddly Jem bra!” Pizzazz shouted towards the open door.

Jerrica growled and slammed the door shut behind her, storming off.

“Now... what to wear. I need to get her to give me a pair of those earrings in my style, so I can get more creative.”

_Do I call anyone, though? I mean, really, are any of them even going to care? Hey Clash, I already outed you to the press, how did that work out for you? ...Who am I kidding, we both got kicked out. I wonder how she's doing. ...and there I go, bringing myself down again. I need a laugh. I need some joy. I need... Ooooh I know what I need._

Pizzazz pulled the phone onto the bed, stretched out on her belly, kicked her feet up in the air, and proceeded to dial the first number that came to her mind.

“Jerrica Benton. What a surprise. I thought you were making Rio handle all of your communication with me.”

_Good, you wised up at some point, glad you can't stand him either princess. Still... ew, ever finding Eric attractive._

“Eric.”

“...Pizzazz? Why the hell are you on Jerrica's phone?”

_For the same reason I'm on Jerrica's bed, you worm._

“I just thought I should call and tell you to make room to check out Harriet Horn's show tonight. I'm going to be on it, and so is Jem, and there's-”

“I don't care anymore, Pizzazz. Genuinely, honestly, do not care. You know what? I'm happy for you. Maybe you aren't the cold bitch everyone thought you were. In fact, I'll do you one better. I'm sorry if I pressured you into staying in the closet.”

_…This isn't what I wanted. No. No! You aren't robbing me of this, Eric! Be angry! Yell at me! Tell me this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing!_

“Whatever happened to me not being gay because I can't feel anything for anyone else!?”

“Well, I was apparently wrong. Alright? I really, really don't want to fight over this. This whole job transition thing is biting me in the ass, I'm behind on alimony, my partner's been riding my ass about-”

_Stop bumming me out, Eric. For the love of... I need to drink your salty tears! These aren't tasty at all!_

“...Are you dating Techrat, Eric? Roxy said you two were living together.”

“So? Roxy and Jetta are living together and they aren't dating.”

A spread across Pizzazz's face. _There we go. Finally, some meat._

“Roxy and Jetta are girlfriends, Eric.”

There was a grumpy sigh on the other end, then far off swearing. Pizzazz could make out what sounded like an argument in the background about privacy and missing information.

“Okay, so, apparently I was out of the loop on that one, and Techrat's saying they've been together awhile now. That's just... that's just great. That's fantastic. Yeah, I didn't need to know that.”

There was a faint “It didn't seem important! Can I, give me that. Don't touch me.” coming from Eric's side.

“Pizzazz, Techrat wants the phone, and I need scotch. I'll leave you two to it.”

_What? No, I don't want to talk to Techrat! He gives me the creeps. All he does is spy on people and scream!_

“Pizzazz, yes. Since you are currently dating Jem and we are all on the same side of things, I was wondering if maybe you could arrange a meeting between the three of us because I really want to know more about the tech she uses. I've seen things, and I really need to know some answers now that there isn't a concern that Eric is going to have me sabotage them.”

_You... No, no, no, no. No. If you even come within a mile of Synergy I swear on the moon I swear they will never find your body._

“I'll tell you what, you fill me in on all the mushy details between you and Eric, and I'll put in a good word with Jem, see what she says. Sound good?”

_I mean good word is a vague enough concept. 'Hey princess. Techrat's hair is okay. Let's not let him snoop around.'_

“I don't now what Eric has told you, but there are no 'mushy details'.”

“Then I guess I don't know what you're talking about with Jem's 'tech', hanging up now...”

“WAIT! I... I really don't know what you want me to say! We live together. I sleep on his couch. He's made advances, I don't like being touched. I'm flattered, and he's nice to me.”

_That's... that's not even interesting. I can barely make fun of Eric for that. ...He makes you sleep on his -couch-?_

“So you two aren't boyfriend and boyfriend, then?”

Techrat made a weird extended noise, but Pizzazz couldn't tell if it was out of disgust, confusion, or something else.

“I say platonic life partner, he says boy toy.”

_He says..._

“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. My sides. Holy...” Pizzazz squealed as loudly as she could, echoing across the room. “He calls you his boy toy! Eric Raymond has a boy toy! Eric Raymond has a -”

“Pizzazz, is something wrong?” Raya's voice came from behind the door.

_Wrong? No. No, this is amazing._

“You'll talk to Jem for me, right? I promise I won't sabotage anything, I only ever did that at Eric's orders, and he works alongside her now, so.”

Pizzazz held her breath to try to control herself and stop laughing.

_Oh Techrat, you could do better than that. Nobody deserves Eric, not even you._

“Yeah, yeah. I'll talk to Jem for you. You tell Eric I said he needs to get his boy toy a bed, or I'm having Jerrica cut his pay.”

“I don't actually like to be calle-”

Pizzazz clicked hung it up, lept out of bed, and did a little victory dance and twirl.

“That's what I needed to start my day. I'm invincible!”

“Jem wants me to tell you that you need to hurry! Are you dressed?” Raya's voice came from behind the door again

She looked herself over. “...Almost. Give me a bit!”

 

 

 

Pizzazz hunched over on her side of the green room couch, uncomfortable as she looked around at all of the crew hands and their sneering faces. She had settled on a neon orange jumpsuit that she left the top five buttons undone for, a tattered black undershirt, and a zebra print headband. The situation called for a tough outfit, she felt.

“They're talking about us. I can't make it out, but I know they're talking about us...”

Jem sat against the opposite side of the couch in simple knee length pink dress with black polka dots and a red sash around her waist. She had convinced Pizzazz that it was best they handle themselves as professionally as possible during this taping, and that any wrong move could be disastrous.

“I don't think they're talking about us. Well, they are, but not like that. Just relax, Pizzazz.”

_So what, you're trying to tell me this is all in my head now? That I'm being paranoid? Because I'm not buying it, princess. I've seen these looks. I've -given- these looks. You're just too good for your own good._

“How much longer do we have to sit here, anyway? I'm not used to being here without my band to wake me up right before we go on.”

“I think you take more naps than Madmartigan does, Pizz.”

_It's called beauty sleep Jerrica. I can't look this gorgeous without spending half the day in bed. And in keeping you in bed with me, I've made you hotter too. You should thank me._

“Hey, hey you. Brunette.” Pizzazz waved down one of the crew hands who was carrying around a clipboard. “When do we go on? Why hasn't Horn been in here yet?”

“You've been on this show five times now, Ms. Gabor. You know that she doesn't like to see her guests before they go on. She'll give me the signal to let you out in about five minutes, and then you'll just walk out that door, take a left, go up the stairs, and walk out on the stage.”

_And now I'm being talked down to by some pencil pusher. Yeah, great. Fantastic._

“Jem, you say the word and I'll burn this place down.”

Jem scooted over and gave Pizzazz a light nudge at her shoulder. “Oh you.”

“I wasn't kidding.” Pizzazz huffed, crossing her arms and legs, turning her head away. “This was a mistake.”

“Well, I mean, it was. I did tell you that I said no to this twice.”

_And how was I supposed to know that!? You were gone! With kiiiiiids!_

“Nervous, Princess?”

Jem let out a sigh, then slumped back on the couch. “You have no idea. This might honestly be the tensest I've felt since my first public performance. Going up on stage, bracing for everyone to judge you. Knowing that every single thing you do or say at that point is going to shape the world's view of you for the rest of your life.”

_She worries more than I do. I wish I could help her relax..._

“I mean Rio... Rio didn't take it well. Aja and Shana have been fine with it, Kimber's apparently always known... I haven't gotten to talk to Raya about it, but she sounded happy for me yesterday. I just... I wonder what my parents would think, if they were still around. 'Well dad, it's a good thing you were so big on adoption, because both of your daughters prefer women.'”

_She talk more when she's upset, too. Do I... do I say something? What do I even say? Well at least your dad isn't alive to disown you over it. ...no, no, bad Pizzazz. Uhh.... at least you have better taste in women than your sister?_

“And what if anything happens to split us up? I mean my longest relationship was only three years running and it had so many gaps...”

_Well yeah, but that was Rio. I didn't go half an hour without punching his face, I can't imagine going three years. Fuck, Pizzazz, she's starting to cry. Do something, we're in public. Don't let her cry in public. Do something. Do something! Carpe Roseam!_

A red light flicked on above them.

“Alright, that's the signal. You two, go on out there!”

 

 

 

Harriet Horn looked like a blonde haired devil behind her desk. Her dark red suit had an almost evil glow beneath the stage lights, the cityscape painted behind her looking gloomier than Pizzazz had remembered from the last time she had been brought on.

“Tonight's guests are something special tonight, folks. Invited together are Pizzazz Gabor of The Misfits and Jem of the Holograms, two opposing vocalists for the last few years. To the public at large they've been the bitterest of enemies, but have they been hiding a secret lesbian affair all this time? Ladies, how do you respond to recent accusations of homosexuality and sodomy that have been levied against you by Cool Trash magazine?”

Jem opened her mouth to speak, but before she could Pizzazz had placed a finger to her lip and stood out of her seat.

_No, no. I know what to say now. You relax, princess. I'm taking care of your worries. I'm not leaving you. I'm never leaving you._

“I love this woman! I love the stupid way she always tries to help out with everyone and everything around her. I love her big stupid pink hair. I love that while I blow my earnings on stupid fleeting things to make myself happy, she uses most of her money to help out people in need. If anyone has a problem with that, I'll fight them!”

Gasps, hoots, and hollers erupted from the audience. A few boos were shouted, but almost lost in the cacophony. Jem just sat there, jaw agape, her fingers gripping onto her seat.

“Wow. That was, well. That was certainly not the response we were expecting, now was it? So, Jem, what is your response to Pizzazz? Is this love unrequited, or are you really rock 'n' roll lesbians?”

_Jem? Come on babe, say something._

Jem just stared into the audience, a look of shock and terror frozen on her face.

_Oh please don't do this. I'm trying to do the right thing, here. Isn't that what you wanted? ...Or is this just what I wanted._

“Jem? Your response?” Harriet asked impatiently.

Jem stammered. “I, uhm. ...I love you too, Pizzazz.” She said meekly, too quiet for the mic to pick up.

“I need you to speak up, the audience can't hear you.”

_I've got this. She just needs to relax. I can do this._

Pizzazz leaned across the arm of her chair and gave her girlfriend a tender kiss on the cheek, then softly whispered into her ear, “We can do this, princess.”

The audience hollered again.

“My, my, my. Now that is a first for this network! Hell, it may be a TV first period! I'm gonna go down in television history for this!” Harriet clapped excitedly, spinning around in her seat.

_Come on Jerrica, don't leave me out like this. You're the one with the stage presence here! Hell, you've cut into my audience enough. Don't make me the sole focus here._

“I... I love Pizzazz. I fell for her when we went to high school together, but I never knew she felt the same way.”

Harriet leaned over her desk, hands clasped together in front of a devilish grin. “My my, high school sweethearts to boot! So, what does this mean for both bands? Will you be splitting up the Misfits and Holograms? Will you form a duet together, or are you just going to retire from music altogether as wives?”

_Yeah, I'm sure there's a market for a pop group that's just two lesbians singing together. I swear to god all the thing's she's said have me wanting to take that microphone and shove it up her a-_

“No, no. The Holograms are working on a new album as we speak, and I believe Pizzazz has been working on something new with The Misfits.”

Pizzazz snapped out of it, then stretched back in her chair.

“We have a new guitarist, actually. Blaze. We're going to be trying out a new sound with our next album. Heavier. Duran Duran meets Megadeth, and it's going to be a rock opera about a rampaging barbarian queen!”

_I should name one of the dragons after you, when I slay it._

“Can you two maintain a relationship while fronting different bands, then? Will you two at least be touring together? You've certainly had plenty of overlapping stops in the past.”

_That was... ...okay that was mostly intentional. Hell, after a point -all- stops were overlapping. I think we even shared a merch girl at one point._

“We'll tour together. It's a definite.”

Jem moved in to whisper into Pizzazz's ear. “Pizzazz, I don't think that's going to happen. I mean we've already got our stuff written, we were going to start rehearsing it this week, then recording starts August 1st.”

“I know what I'm doing. I've got more written than you think I do, princess. And we're the Misfits, our rehearsals go faster than yours. We'll cram it.” Pizzazz whispered back.

“Now, Pizzazz. Jem isn't the first person you've been romantically linked to, of the same sex. Cool Trash has done some digging before and found that Rapture of The Stingers had boasted of an encounter with you late last year and you were caught 'in the act' with a Constance Montgomery. Can you tell our viewers at home if there's any truth to these allegations, or is Jem the only love of your life?”

_Rapture, I... Ugh I should never have trusted a Stinger._

“Rapture took me out drinking, sold me on some bunk about past lives, and yeah we had sex, but it was just once, and I regretted. Constance... Constance was also a one night thing. She's a close friend of mine, and I'm happy to have her as the new manager of The Misfits, replacing Eric Raymond. I wish her and her girlfriend Blaze the best.”

A loud gasp from the audience.

“Your manager and your new guitarist are dating? How do Roxy, Stormer, and Jetta feel about this? Are The Misfits becoming a gay band?”

_...Are Roxy and Jetta still in the closet? I... I better play it safe. Don't fuck with your bandmates, Pizz. You need them._

“They're fine with it. We're all family, and you accept family.”

“Is that so? Then why is it that we have reports that your own family has cut you off? We did some digging and found that you've apparently been living with Jem for the last few days. A moving truck was spotted at your apartment, and then later at Starlight Mansion. Shortly after, paperwork was filed to transfer Misfits Records over to Jerrica Benton, holder of Starlight Music.”

_Some family he was. That's not my family. Stormer, Jetta, Roxy, Jem, Clash, Blaze, and Madmartigan. That's my family. That's the Pizzazz family._

“We do live together now, yes.” Jem answered for her. “But I don't think it's anyone's busi-”

“Harvey Gabor is a dick. I'm announcing tonight that I no longer see myself as Pizzazz Gabor, I'm just Pizzazz. Like Cher, or that magician guy that doesn't talk.”

_Maybe someday Benton, if you ever open up a bit princess. Pizzazz Benton. ...it has a ring to it. Certainly better than Jerrica Pacheco._

“This is... wow. This may be the most announcement packed interview I've ever had. I'm at a loss for words. Eat your heart out, Lin Z!” Harriet Horn couldn't hide her glee as she lept from her chair and excitedly clapped. “Let's hear it for the happy couple!”

 

 

 

“It could have gone worse, right?” Pizzazz asked, sitting next to Jem in the front seat of the Rockin' Roadster. They had waited until the crowd outside had died down before leaving, and night was already falling. “I mean, nobody threw anything. Ever been hit with a pie? It's not as funny as it looks.”

Jem sighed, keeping her focus on the road. She hadn't spoken since taping ended, but Pizzazz had yet to take the hint.

“We should get something to eat. I know this great hot dog vendor, out by the pier. They're still open around now, if you wanna go. Eh? Pier-dogs?”

_She's still ignoring me... I don't get it. What did I do wrong now?_

“You know, if you ever came out about being Jerrica, I could drop the mononym thing. I could be Pizzazz Benton. That sounds good, right? ...Jerrica? ...Princess?”

“I just wish you could have been like this before. Consulting me on things. You rush into things without thinking, Pizzazz. It's going to get people hurt. Not just romantically, you're already pushing your band into something they may not be able to handle. It's concerning. I think it's why you've acted so violently in the past. Like you get an intense emotion, and you don't take the time to process it, you just end up wielding it like a hammer.”

_Ouch. Psychoanalyzing me now? Going to stretch me out on your couch? ...Why is -that- going in a dirty direction in my mind. Pull yourself together._

“There's a good, well-meaning person in there. There's always been one. I just, I wish I could help you slow things down and think things out. I'll do my best, but I can't make any promises. Kimber's half as impulsive now and she's always been that impulsive, no matter how hard I try...”

_Maybe I like being impulsive._

“It'll take a lot more than you to slow me down. You'd practically have to break every bone in my body. I'm not going to slow down till they strap me down in a gurney.” Pizzazz took a good look at her pink haired lover's face. _No... no that's not what I need to say. She's upset._ “I'll... I'll try. For you. No promises, alright?”

“That's all I ask, Pizzazz. That you try. I don't have much I can offer to help with your side of things, musically, but I'll help in any way I can. I'd love to tour together, as partners instead of rivals.”

Pizzazz forced out a chuckle. “Can't we be both, princess? Lovers and rivals works for me. Competing in the streets, knocking boots in the sheets.”

_Though maybe you'd prefer we be enemies again. Lovers and enemies._

“Tell me more about these pier-dogs, green bean.”

“...Green bean?”

“I'm not good with pet names, Pizzazz. Just... accept one. ...Slimer?”

“I'll take green bean, if you take cotton candy.”

“Deal.”

Pizzazz wrapped her arms around Jem, the stick shift jabbing her in the gut, as she went in to aggressively kiss at Jem's neck.

“Eee! No, not while I'm driving!”

“I guess you'll just have to drive slower then, 'cause I'm not stoppin'! Sweet, delicious cotton candy.”

_I could slow down for this. You, me, and the open road. ...Maybe we could do a duet sometime. If our voices would even work together. Yours is so soft. Just like you, princess. You're so soft._

“To the pier!”

 


	11. The Banners Raised, An Army Formed

_Hail queen!_

_Hail queen!_

_Hail queen!_

Pizzazz's dream that night at been the most intense dream of her life. She had ridden horseback, clad in a green breastplate and a dark purple loincloth, with an army behind her, leading them to a large rock formation where she and the other Misfits rallied them under their new single. Thousands of soldiers clad in leather and furs, wielding axes, swords, and shields.

They had circled the band with torches in hand until the song was over, at which point they stormed the enemy castle, burned it to the ground, and brought her the treasures she had longed for; glistening jewels, chests of gold, and her very own pink-haired princess freed from her tower.

As the loot rained down upon them in a shared embrace, the army all cried out 'hail queen' over a powerful guitar solo from Blaze, clad from head to toe in black and red painted steel, that cracked at the very rock the band performed on. As the rock began to split apart, she suddenly found herself thrown from her fantasy.

"Hail me... hail me.... hail me..."

"Pizzazz dear, sometimes I worry what your dreams are like."

Pizzazz jerked out of bed, spooking Madmartigan and sending him skittering off the bed.

"I had a vision! I need The Misfits. I need them assembled. ASSEMBLE THEM!"

Jerrica sat at the foot of the bed, already fully dressed in the blue-and-pink striped outfit that Pizzazz had borrowed days prior. "I'm... that's not really job my, sweetie. And I need to get going, today's the first day of work on our new album. I guess we'll both be starting on that today, then."

_And your album won't stand a chance, princess. I've seen the future of music, and it's me._

"But, please, don't do it in my room this time. I... is there anywhere else you can go besides here for rehearsal? We don't really have room for both bands to practice. Oh but I don't want you to feel like I'm kicking you out..."

_Oh, don't want us wrecking your things, Jerrica? Afraid we'll split the very foundation this house was built on with our music? ...Wait, where will we go now. Stormer's apartment is too small. I doubt Roxy and Jetta live anywhere nice. Clash and Blaze are staying with Video... ...Eric. God damn it, Eric._

"We'll jam at Eric's place. He owes me that much."

_And if he says no, you can fire him. Fire his ass. Like we even need him._

"Good, good. Just glad you had this planned out." Jerrica bent over to give Pizzazz a quick peck on the lips. "These tend to go on pretty late, but I promise at the very least I'll be up for cuddling after. Just, don't be surprised if I fall asleep on you."

_I certainly wouldn't mind. ...sometimes I actually prefer that. Your breathing relaxes me, for some reason._

“And don't be surprised if I wake you up for a little more than that.” Pizzazz stuck her tongue out, then gave a chuckle.

“Oh, you. Moment ruiner.” Jerrica ruffled her hair, then was out the door and on her way.

_I have a reputation to maintain here, princess._

Pizzazz reached out for the phone, pulling it onto her lap. _Who first... Executive decision making here, Pizzazz. Take control._ She dialed out the digits and put the phone up to her ear, waiting impatiently.

“Montgomery residence, Vivien speaking.”

“It's Pizzazz, you know what I want.”

“...excuse me?”

_Okay maybe not the right way to respond._

“Clash. Get me Clash. Your sister. ...cousin. Or Blaze, whichever. Are they there?”

There was an irritated sigh. “Yeah, yeah Clash is here. She's in the shower, so I can't-”

“Yes, you can. Just, knock on the door and tell her to pick up the phone.”

“Fine, one second.”

Pizzazz twirled the phone cord around her finger as she waited. Suddenly, shouting, thudding, banging sounds came from the other end.

“I... I'm sorry! Just... you two need... Did you... Couldn't you wait until I was out of the house!? In the shower!? I use that shower!”

_What in hell's name is going on over there._

There was a rustling sound against the phone, then exasperated breathing. “I'm here, I'm here. Jesus, I. ...Blaze are you alright?” A quiet voice in the background answered something in return but Pizzazz couldn't make it out. “God... What, what is it, Pizzazz? Is something wrong? I was... busy.”

“What the hell is happening over there?!” Pizzazz shouted into the receiver.

“I... Video scared me, banging on the door. I slipped in the shower, and kinda took Blaze down with me. Is anything.. ..Is it broken or-”

_Alright, I need to get you two out of there. When the hell do we get paid. ...Isn't Jerrica supposed to give us some advance for this? Fuck, she'd give that to you, wouldn't she. ...or Eric. Oh please don't tell me she gave it to Eric to dole out._

“Is Blaze okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, she's fine. She's just spooked. What's up? We saw the show last night, and-”

“I need you to ready the band. Get Stormer, Roxy, Jetta, and yourselves over to Eric's place. Pronto. And I need... I need...” _An army. Weapons. A castle._ “I need someone that can manage props and costume work on a budget. I'm bringing over everything I wrote, just be at Eric's ASAP.”

_Well, I mean, I have only a third of it written out, but it' still good. All we need is one song to start us off. And a brilliant music video... and I just saw that video in my mind last night. We can do this._

“I... ...Pizzazz. I don't know their numbers. I don't even know where Eric lives. I'm also not really comfortable making so many calls on my cousin's phone.”

“But you're comfortable bumping uglies in her shower.”

“Would it surprise you to know I -like- the chance of getting caught?”

_...That would explain why you were so quick to agree to the laundry room._

“And yet this happened.”

“Well, there's a difference between 'chance of getting caught' and 'your girlfriend just went in too deep because your cousin doesn't know how to gently knock on a damn door!”

“Oh for the love of.” Video's voice came in on the line.

“...Have you been listening this whole time!?” Clash screamed.

“And I regret it now! Pizzazz, take her with you. Please, take her with you. Blaze can stay. Blaze is sweet. She's respectful, she cleans, she cooks, she exercises with me... Clash can go.”

Pizzazz could her a small 'aww' in the background from Blaze, then a click as Video hopped off the line.

“...So. …Yeeeeeeeeah. I'm going to give you those numbers, and Eric's address, and everyone's going to be there. Got it?”

“...Yeah. Alright. I've got this. We've got this.”

 

 

 

“Pizzazz, do you mind telling me why everyone is piled into my living room? ...And why Roxy and Jetta are taking my couch?”

Pizzazz shrugged and stepped aside as Roxy and Jetta carried large blue couch out through the sliding doors and into the backyard, with Techrat still on it. “I... LET ME DOWN! LET ME DOWN!” he squealed.

“We needed somewhere to work, ERIC. You wanna get paid, right?”

“Well, yeah, but I get paid either way. My job's just to budget you guys and make sure everything falls under the law. I don't see a dime from your profits anymore, so- Hey! Hey! Be careful with that TV! That thing's worth more than any of you!”

“Then start budgeting, Eric. Here's a list for you. I need five hundred extras, and I need them all to be wearing the outfits in these sketches.” Pizzazz shoved a wad of papers into Eric's chest. “They need swords and shields. We need Clash's cousin ready to film, and we need a big field, and a big rock, and...”

“I... Pizzazz these are hardly sketches, these are in crayon. These are crayon doodles, Pizzazz!”

_Well what the hell was I supposed to use, Eric? I live in a house full of kids! It was either that or watercolors!_

“Second, no. Do you know how much it would cost to outfit five hundred extras in this? Hell, even a hundred. Leather's expensive! Even if we used wooden swords and shields, the amount of work necessary would be ridiculous, we'd need at least a month of preparation. We can't even afford your old wardrobe team anymore so-”

Pizzazz growled and jabbed a finger repeatedly into the center of Eric's chest. “Well, who then!? Give me a name! Give me someone! FIND SOMEONE! Find someone who can do this cheap, and get the hell out of my way!”

“I... fine! Techrat! Stop letting them harass you and help me out there!”

“HELP MEEEEEE!” Pizzazz heard Techrat scream from outside, followed by a loud splash as he was hurled into Eric's swimming pool.

_This... this is what I missed. Oh it's good to be back, girls._

“Nice form, Roxy! Jetta, wanna try to get that TV in here!?”

Eric began to rush out the backdoor after them.

“I'm kidding, Eric! Girls, let him collect his 'boy toy'. We have work to do.”

“My wha-... Techrat. What have you been telling them!?”

Pizzazz reached into a lime green and purple messenger back draped over her shoulder and pulled out four thin stacks of paper that had been crudely paper-clipped together. “Everyone get your gear set up and take one of these. I come bearing a taste of what is to come! I bring you the sound that will usher you into battle, that will play as we crush our enemies into the ground, that will echo in the halls as we celebrate our victory over the Holograms and the world at large! I bring you... Conquest.”

Clash struggled with a large bundle of extension cords she had brought in with her. “Do you think Eric's got enough outlets in here? Or you want I should daisy-chain this?”

“Daisy-chain away. Not our house, not our problem.”

Eric grumbled, “Can't you wait until I'm out of earshot to start talking about potential house fires and property damage, Pizzazz?”

_But then I couldn't see your reaction, Eric, and what would be the point of saying any of it if I couldn't see your reaction?_

“Then get out of earshot already! Go find me a prop maker and a costumer! ...and a big rock!”

Pizzazz popped open her guitar case, pulled out a solid white stratocaster, and began to tune it by ear. “You won't be center stage this time, babe, but you steal as much focus as you need to.”

“Is... is she talking to herself or the guitar?” Blaze asked, fumblingly nervously with her warlock.

Clash sat on her knees, leading a chain of power strips from one end of the large, now empty, room and into the center. “Yes, Blaze. The answer is yes. That's the only guitar I've never seen her use as a weapon, so I would just assume it's either part of her or her child.”

“Are you implying that Pizzazz wouldn't use her own child as a weapon?” Roxy asked, as she began moving out parts of her drum set out of the van she had left parked on Eric's back lawn.

“I don't think Jem would let 'er. I mean, any child of Pizzazz's would be half Jem's, and you've seen what Jem does for those bloody kids.” Jetta carried another piece in behind her.

Stormer sat down on her amp, see-through green keytar hanging off its strap around her, scratching her head. “I don't think Jem and Pizzazz can really have babies. I mean, it's-”

“Mary I swear to god if you think you're going to sit there and explain to me how babies are made, I'm going to take this drumstick and-”

_I'd make an awful mother anyway. ...To think, that ever almost happened. I wouldn't mind a little brat of my own._

Cl-aaaash! Jingle, jingle, jingle. Claa-aaaash!

Clash clasped her bracelets together in the air. “Everyone, stop fighting! We've got work to do! ...Right, Pizzazz?”

Pizzazz grinned. _You're doing good, kiddo._ “That's right. The Holograms have a few hours on us and we need to catch up, because we're touring together for the first time!”

“...For the first time? We're generally always on tour together.” Stormer stood and tipped at her amp with her foot. “Not that I'm complaining, means I get to spend time with my band and with Kimber!”

“Previous times, we were going up against each other. From now on, we tour -together-. They do a night, we do a night. ...or... ...something like that. Me and Jem were talking it over on the beach last night and I guess I got distracted. I don't remember the plan anymore.”

“Oooh, the lovebirds having sex on beaches now?” Jetta held Roxy's seat overhead, gently placing it behind the drums. _It's scary seeing Jetta be helpful. I wonder what they're like behind closed doors. What if this whole badass and angry image thing of theirs is just an act, and they're a bunch of goody-goodies themselves?_

“Maybe we did, maybe we didn't.” _Always the hypocrite Pizzazz. And you know you didn't. You just walked, on the beach, hand-in-hand. What a fucking loser. Watch, you're going to be the one trying to write a ballad this album, not Stormer. They're going to kick you out of the band, Pizzazz. They're going to replace you with Blaze. They're going to-_ “Look over your parts, and when everyone's ready we'll test this new noise. Blaze, don't fuck up.”

 

 

 

“I've got bruises on me digits!” Jetta groaned, rubbing her hands along her legs. “Do we need so many solos? A bass solo intro, two guitar solos, a drum solo... Pizzazz are you trying to kill us!? This song's ten bloody minutes long!”

“It's as long as it needs to be! Fuck your fingers!” Pizzazz swung her microphone around like a lasso, letting it loose enough to swing just by Jetta's face before bringing it back. “Complain again and I'm extending it!”

“I'm not Neil Pert! I can't do this kind of thing!”

“You're a Misfit! You can do anything, and never let anyone say otherwise. You got that? You reflect on all of us! We lie, we cheat, we steal, we take what is ours, but we do not bitch and moan about 'digits'!”

They had rehearsed the song four times already, each time Pizzazz having to enter into drill sergeant mode to address their complaints. Stormer felt her part was too fast, Jetta didn't feel she had the endurance to last the full duration, Roxy was worried she was being drowned out by everyone else, and Blaze...

_She hasn't said a word. She doesn't seem comfortable, but she hasn't raised a single complaint. You, I like... but it's not helpful right now._

“Blaze, you've been quiet this whole time, what's your input? You're a Misfit now, you need to start complaining like the rest of us!”

She scratched at her arm and looked down at her shoes. “I like it. It's tough, but I'm good with tough. I'm just not so used to performing around others, I guess. But I'm fine. Is my solo alright?”

_Alright? Blaze, you've got me filled with envy here. Where the hell has Clash been hiding you all my life? Hell, Starlight Mansion would be ours if we'd gotten you in our group sooner!_

“Your solo's fine. Ladies, I think we have a hit on our hands.”

Eric gave a slow clap as he stood in the doorway leading down to his basement, behind the Misfits. “Glad to see you haven't completely lost your touch. And here I was worried hanging around Jem this past week was a sign you'd lost your edge, Pizzazz.”

_If anything she's sharpened it, Eric, and I guarantee that edge is pointed right at you._

“Were you hiding in your basement, Eric?” Asked Stormer.

“I wasn't -hiding-. Techrat has all of his stuff set up down there, where light of day can't find him. I put him to work tracking down our little bootlegger, since if anyone can get your... 'sketches' and put them together in a reasonable amount of time, it's them. Meanwhile -I- have been trying to find an area that matches...” Eric pulled out a folded slip of paper and held it close to his face. “'Big desolate field, big rock, no trees, big enough for a castle and 500 people.' ...Do you even know what desolate means, Pizzazz?”

_Don't push him down those stairs, Pizzazz. Don't push him down those stairs. You can do this. Wait until after you don't need him._

Stormer pouted. “You mean that creepy ghosty chick? I saw her digging around in my garbage once, like a really tall raccoon. I don't like her.”

 _'Ghosty chick'?_ “Bootlegger?”

“She handles all of that cheap Misfits merch we push on the national side of tours. She's able to put out so much while working out of a car by herself, and I've already gotten her to do plenty of 'official' Misfits merch in the past for free, she's your best bet. It's just been a matter of finding her. I've never -had- to find her before, she just shows up when we tour.”

“Can't we just record in the park? It's big, it's green, it's flattish, there's no trees. We just need to find a rock.” Roxy gently sat down her bass, walked over to Eric, and jerked the folded up paper away from him. “Pizzazz, what the hell? Did you get one of the kids to draw this?”

_I ONLY HAD CRAYONS AROUND! It's not my fault I don't know where Jem keeps pencils or pens!_

“Frankly I can't even tell what scale she's using here, but I'm glad she drew a little sun over here to indicate that you perform during the day.” Eric pointed to a corner of the paper.

_I... I will destroy all of you. I will get you all when you least expect it, and you'll wish you had never made fun of my talents._

CL-AAAASH! Jingle, jingle, jingle. CLAA-AAAASH!

All eyes turned to the opposite wall, where Clash stood, an irritated expression on her face.

“Eric. This bootlegger, what's their name?”

Eric reached around in his pockets for a moment, pulling out his own folded up paper and reading it. “Babe-In? Bee-ib-hinn? I don't know, everyone calls her-”

“Trash. We aren't working with Trash. I'm vetoing that. I'm manager, I can do that right? I can veto decisions?”

_I think technically you could, but it's never really worked out for Eric. I'm not sure I ever listened to a single grievance he had and took it seriously. If I had, I'd be single right now._

“I call the shots here. What's wrong with this babe-in?”

“Bee-veen. It's Irish, and she's horrible. She's a pathological liar, a backstabber, and a creep. I don't want to work with her.” Clash crossed her arms, causing a small racket as her wrists briefly clacked together. “Do we really need a bunch of leather clad extras? Can't we just use some of the equipment the Holograms use?”

_I'm not going to trust any of you with Synergy. ...and honestly I don't think Jerrica would let me anyway._

“We can't. We can use Video, Jerrica told me that Danse is available if we need her, but that's about it. Besides, you basically just described Jetta and you're fine working with her!”

“Ay! I'm not a liar!”

Clash sighed. “If it means that much to you, I know where she is. But I want one of you with me. I don't like dealing with her.”

“I'll go with you. I wanna size them up anyway, see if they're fit to bring my vision to reality.”

Eric smirked. “I'm sure she has all the powers of Crayola at her disposal, Pizzazz. You're in good hands.”

_If you push him, he could crack that pretty little head open, and then Jerrica would have to replace him. She'd be miffed, Pizzazz. Mildly miffed. Let him live. For now._

“Eric, make sure they keep practicing while we're gone. If I find out they took a single break when I get back, I'll have Jerrica demote you down to custodian! You got that!?”

“Since when do you have control over Jerrica? You may be seeing her star, but she still has a business mindset!”

_Oh you have no idea, Eric. I'm completely under her control._

Pizzazz's eyes shot open. “Me. I'm. ...Her. She's under -my- control!”

Eric scratched at his head. “I...what?”

“Nevermind! Just... Clash! Go get the car!”

Clash stood at attention and gave a two finger salute. “Aye-aye! ...wait. Uhm. ...Leah sweetie can I get the keys?”

“Do... uhm.” Blaze bit at her lip and thought for a moment. “I... ...guess. Please, please take good care of the car, alright? Obey the speed limit, don't run any red lights... please, Clash. Please.” She knelt down and dug into her purse, then tossed a pair of keys over in Clash's direction, only to have Pizzazz grab them instead.

“Don't worry, -I'll- be the one driving!”

Blaze pouted. “I'm regretting this already...”

 

 

 

“This the place?”

“Yeah... I'll do the talking first. I know how to handle her. You've got my back, right?”

Pizzazz nodded, holding her collections of papers to her chest.

The apartment complex was run down looking. They stood in a narrow hallway with stained yellow wallpaper, dusty garbage-coated floors, all partially lit by dying orange lights.

_Just what the hell did Eric find for us?_

Clash knocked on the door a few times. No answer or sound could be heard.

“Are we sure she's-”

Clash put a hand up to interrupt Pizzazz, then gave six knocks in rapid succession.

“What's the password?!” A high, nasal, squeaky voice came from the other side.

Pizzazz looked to Clash. Clash just shrugged her shoulders. “Since when is there a password?!”

The door flung open for a moment. A scrawny, pale woman stood before them in a black bra, matching panties, working gloves, and a pair of welding goggles. Her bald head brushed against the top of the door frame as she stood a couple of inches over even Clash in her heels.

“Constance.” They said, the squeaky voice mixing awkwardly with an irritated tone.

“Beibhinn.” Clash replied, grimacing before turning to look away. “Couldn't throw something on first?”

The pale one looked down at herself, then shrugged. “I don't like overdressin' when workin' with metal. So, wacha want then? Or just wanna see my pretty little face?”

_You look like a skeleton in underwear... but I swear you look familiar._

Pizzazz cleared her throat. “You Trash?”

“I might be. Who asks?”

Pizzazz gave Clash a confused look. “What fucking rock does this one live under?”

Clash sighed. “Bee, are you wearing your contacts under those?”

“I... ...maybe. Possibly. No, no I'm not. But hey, recognized your voice now didn' I? I'll go... pop those in. Your friend cool? Because I, like, haven't cleaned in... ...when was Christmas.”

“It's... it's July 26 th , Bee. And yes, Pizzazz is cool.”

Beibhinn whistled. “For sure, for sure. ...wait wha-” She tripped up on herself, grabbing for the side of the doorframe to keep herself up. “Piz-Pizzazz!? Oh, I. Oh, I'm. Like. I'm sorry! I don't... Please, come in, come in!”

She moved away from the doorway and ushered them both in. It was a small studio apartment, covered at almost every inch by leather jackets, various fabrics, chunks and sheets of metal, boxes, and a sleeping bag in the middle of all of that. Various pieces of clothes were thrown around the little kitchen area, with a few more leather jackets stuffed inside of an open stove.

“I... you two, sit down, sit down. There's vodka in here somewhere. If you can find it before I get my eyes in, they're all yours.”

_Eric, seriously, what have you gotten us into? What's that... oh dear god what's that smell? Did something die in here?_

Pizzazz pulled up one of the sturdier cardboard boxes and sat down on it, pulling out a stretch of fake fur that had been on it and covering her face with it. “Is it safe to be in here?”

“For sure! That's just bleach! Sorry for tha' stench. You, ah, here I'll open a window. ...It's actually already open, sorry.”

_This can't be healthy._

Clash tried and failed to find a box that would support her, and instead pulled herself up onto the kitchen counter to sit. “So, Bee. ...I see life's treating you well.” She said sarcastically.

“Eh, life treats me as it treats me. I've got Pizzazz of the Misfits sittin' on my dresser, that's good enough for me. What brings you two to my humble abode anyway?” Beibhinn had pulled off her welding goggles and begun popping in contact lenses. “If it's about the merch, I swear, that Raymond guy lets me as long as I pay him off each time, cross my heart I give him 15% each time.”

“Eric's been making money off Misfits merch, and he hasn't cut any of us in!? Clash, how long have you known about this!?”

“I didn't. Exactly. I knew she followed the tour, but Bee and I haven't exactly talked since she KICKED ME OUT OF THE MISFITS FANCLUB!”

Beibhinn fumbled with her last contact lense, dropping it to the ground, leaving her with one blue eye and one pink. “I... Don't listen to her, Pizzazz! I had to kick her out! She left me no other choice! She's just upset because -I- was always the bigger fan!”

“You kicked me out because I dumped you, and I only dumped you because you -cheated on me-!”

_I don't care. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care._

“I cheated on you to get Misfits tickets! I thought you'd want that!” Beibhinn stomped her foot hard on the floor, crushing a wad of aluminum underneath.

_I don't fucking ca-... ...what._

“Why would I want that!?”

_God damn it to hell. No, no, no._

“Did... did you have purple hair once?” Pizzazz said as low as she could, hanging her head in shame.

Beibhinn looked to Clash, then shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah no. I haven't exactly had hair in forever. Dyes don't hold well for me, so I just shave it all off.” She rubbed at the skin of her scalp.

_Oh thank god. The last thing I need is-_

“You wore wigs, though. My wigs. My -purple- wig, Bee.”

_DAMN IT!_

“Oh, yeah, if that counts. Yeah, I had Clash's hair back when we date. Ooh, did you notice me at that show? Was I captivating?” She clapped her bony hands together. “I told Clash that night, it didn't matter if she didn't come with me, I'd stand out on my own, I didn't need anyone, I-”

“Called me daddy.”

“I called you da-... ...Come again?”

 

 

 

“I don't want to talk to you.” Clash sat in the driver's seat, fingers tightly gripping the wheel as she waited to take off. “Not today. Not tomorrow. I don't know when I'll want to talk to you again, but not now.”

_Well how was I supposed to know? I didn't even know you at the time. Am I supposed to ask every groupie 'Hey, you don't have a girlfriend, do you? This isn't cheating, is it? Because I'm actually Pizzazz of The Misfits and I don't want to be seen as a home-wrecker._

“I mean... You could have anyone you want! You're -Pizzazz-! You're hot! Why the hell would you pretend to be anyone else? And why the hell would you have sex with -her-!?”

Pizzazz huffed and popped open the door to the tiny mint green Beetle. “You're the one that dated her! Who the hell are you to judge!?”

“Well, I. ...She. She was openly gay! I wasn't open but I wanted to date someone. Why not go for the one that throws out signals rather than risk coming onto someone that'll... not react so great?”

“Well it's the same for me! She came on to -me-. She didn't recognize me but saw that I was popping out of Eric's trailer, I fed her some bull about being Eric's sister. She came onto me and brought up how she was desperate to get tickets.”

Clash slammed a fist into the center of the wheel, honking the horn at nobody in particular.

“I mean, now you know how Blaze feels at least!”

Clash turned her head angrily in Pizzazz's direction, an expression full of hate and anger.

_I shouldn't have said that. Ooookay... Fuck. What would Jerrica want me to say._

“I... no. You know what, I'm not sorry. I don't care what goody two shoes would want me to say. Your relationship issues are your own. Maybe if you two had communicated better this wouldn't have happened, and you know what? I'm glad it happened! I'm glad you two broke up! Because now I've got a new talented guitarist! So buck up!”

Clash turned back to face the wheel, talking angrily under her breath.

_Alright maybe that wasn't right either. Damn it... I never had to do this with Eric. I could just yell at Eric. Let me just yell at you! Feel better, damn it! Be motivated by my anger at you!_

“...you're right. In a way. I got together with Leah a few days later. I was the first person she came out to, both as transgender and bisexual, and it's because Bee had outed me. Because -Trash- had outed me.”

Pizzazz smiled and sat herself down in the passenger seat. “See? I speak the truth, kid.”

“I still don't want to work with her.”

“Do you think I ever wanted to work with Eric? Or Techrat. Or any of Eric's goons. Honestly. You won't have to deal with her anyway, we're pawning her off on Eric. He's already maintaining one weirdo, he can maintain a second.”

Beibhinn ran out the front door, now dressed in a sleeveless knee-length gray-denim dress with a black leather belt around the waist and black high heels. She had two large black duffelbags under her arms, another in each hand, and a large backpack behind her.

“I got most of what I'd need here, but I'll need someone with a van or a truck to come back for the rest. You sure Eric won't mind?” She eagerly waited at the back of the car to stuff the last load of bags in.

“It won't matter if he minds. Now, ground rules. If you piss off Clash, you're out. If you piss off a Misfit, you're out. If you make -anything- of mine smell like bleach, you're out.” Pizzazz reached over to Clash's side and popped open the trunk. “And if you tell -anyone- about what we did, you're out. You got that?”

“For sure. I've only got a few rules m'self first. It's Trash. I'll take Clash callin' me Bee, but it's Trash. Second, I'm not good at daylight work, obvious reasons. Lastly, ...I forgot my last point. But fourth and foremost, I'm making that dragon. I need a car, and metal, and propane, and fuck me gently with a chainsaw it's going to be the most amazing thing ever. You're letting me make the dragon, right!?”

Clash gave a defeated sigh. “She can work on the dragon too, but keep an eye on her. I don't trust that girl with fire.”

There was a lot of loud thudding and shaking of the car as the bags were squeezed into the small space, then Beibhinn slammed the trunk down and stood awkwardly at Clash's door. “So, hows I supposed to be getting in, then?”

“Can we strap her to the roof?”

“Come on, guys. Take pity on a lonely young girl.”

Clash grunted, opened her door back up, and stepped out. “We're the same damn age, -Trash-.”

“Not true! I'm two years younger, I was skipped ahead you know.” She pushed the driver's seat forward and slid into the back, not in an actual seat but between the front two seats.

“Like I said, Pizzazz. Don't believe anything she says.”

Pizzazz groaned and began patting on the dashboard impatiently. “Let's just get going! Some of us have people we want to get back to, y'know.”

“Looking forward to explaining this one to Jem, then? 'Hey cutie-pie, remember the bad guy from He-Man? I had sex with his sister!'” Clash snarked as she got back in the car.

“I... Some attitude you have now, missy. ...And I don't call her cutie-pie! I call her princess.”

“Yeah, that's much better.”

Trash poked her head out between the two of them. “Y'know, I've got ears. You can cool it with all the jokes at my expense. I've got a high metabolism, a'right!? Also the lack of meat, I guess. And I'm hardly the villain in this situation! I'm sweet, innocent, kindly victim of the bourgeois. ...no offense meant, Pizzazz." She paused for a moment, then exclaimed, "...Wait, you dating Jem!?”"

“Seriously, Clash. What fucking rock did you leave this one under?”

She frowned. “I don't like TV, y'know. I used to have a car with a radio for news, but it turns out the law doesn't really appreciate driving without a license. Or insurance. Or with eyesight that isn't quite 20/40. Cops these days will find any excuse to give you a ticket and take your car.”

“That sounds like several excuses. ...Valid ones.” Clash turned the key in the ignition. “On that note, everyone buckle up. ….Now. Blaze isn't going to be comfortable with this as it is, at the very least I'd like to show her I'm responsible with her car.”

“You're still datin' 'er, then. Fuckin' hell, what is it now, three years? Four years? Congrats. Truly.”

“I said buckle up.” Clash growled.

_Only a few day at the job and already getting serious and grumpy with everyone. Maybe it was a mistake to give you the job. I need that fun girl again that I could get to go undercover and get dirt on people, who got way too excited when she sabotaged the Hologram's equipment. Don't grow up on me, Clash. I'm doing enough worrying about myself here._

Trash grumbled to herself and scooted over behind Pizzazz, clacking her seat-belt together. “At least I'll be out of that room. You say he's got more than just lentils and cornflakes, then?”

“Oh, he's got way more than that, and I'm sure he'll be fine sharing it. All of it.”

_I come baring gifts, Eric. I hope you appreciate them. Maybe I'll turn on the news tomorrow and find she's burned your house down._

“We still need to get Video on board, think you can do that tonight when you head back home?”

“She tends to go to sleep pretty early, but I'll catch her in the morning.”

 

 

 

“Mads, promise me this. You'll at least stay fun. If you ever get serious, I'm disowning you.” Pizzazz sat across Jem's bed, poking at Madmartigan's nose. He simply mewed and rubbed the side of his mouth against her finger.

_I'm counting that as a promise. That's basically the cat equivalent of a pinkie swear._

“Knock knock!” Jerrica pulled open the door, still in her Jem disguise. “Sorry it's so late. Things were going pretty great, though. I think a nice long family vacation was good for Raya, and Kimber was excited to hear that she'll be touring with Stormer this time.”

She tapped onto her earrings and flopped onto the bed as Jerrica, pulling herself close behind Pizzazz. “And how was your day? Everything go fine with The Misfits?”

_Where do I even begin?_

“We set up in Eric's living room. Blaze is a pretty competent guitarist... Clash's ex is now Eric's new roomie for the duration of production, and also I'm the reason they split up because I had sex with her a few years ago. Oh also Roxy's getting too soft with Jetta and it makes me sick.”

Jerrica snorted. “Oh, you think -she's- getting too soft?” Jerrica spooned up behind her, one arm going under the pillow under Pizzazz's head, the other draping over Pizzazz's stomach. “Truly they're the only soft ones in the group, right?”

“I'm not soft! I'm hard! Hard as a rock!”

_That's not the phrase to use, Pizzazz. Not the phrase to use at all._

“I mean, I, uhm.”

“No, no. It's already out there, you can't take it back.” Jerrica gave Pizzazz's breast a fondle through her dress. “And it's a lie! Why, I never can trust you Misfits.”

“So... you don't care, then?”

“What, you already told me. I'm guessing this is the one you gave the tickets to? I mean... it's not like you knew, right? So I don't see a reason to hold anything against you. ...Except myself, obviously.”

Pizzazz sighed. “...You're too good to me, twerp. I'd never sell you out for tickets.”

“I'm... glad. Thank you, Pizzazz. You make me feel like I'm worth some amount greater than $20.”

“And don't you forget that, Jerrica.” Pizzazz patted her hand. “I'll gladly fight anyone that claims otherwise.”

_I still have seven other songs to try out on them... But they liked this one enough. I want to just go out with a bang. Put out one more amazing album as Pizzazz._

“Would you ever want to work together? Like... the two of us?” Pizzazz asked, wiggling back against Jerrica.

“I'd love to. I mean we've sung together before, just never in harmony. I think we could do it. We could both sing and play guitar. Would you really want that?”

_Would I... ...I mean they can handle themselves fine without me. I heard Blaze sing that day... I don't think they need me anymore. I don't know if I need them._

“Let me think on it a bit...”

 


	12. Recording Woes and Mixing Plans

_This is your life now, Pizzazz. You fell asleep cuddling, she made you breakfast, you showered together, you OFFERED TO DO HER MAKEUP! What is wrong with you?_

Pizzazz scowled at her reflection in her coffee as she sat on the front steps outside Starlight Mansion, awaiting her ride. Two weeks had passed since she had rallied the band back together at Eric's house, and most days seemed to go exactly the same way.

_Begin day in cute couple mode. Part ways. Work self up back into Pizzazz mode before someone picks you up. Spend half the day wishing Jerrica was with you. Come back home, question existence. Repeat._

The exception had been Stormer's and Jetta's birthday. Despite being born on opposite ends of the month, Pizzazz had held a policy that the two had only one birthday, and it was Jetta's, since Stormer minded less. Kimber and Roxy had jointly thrown a party for their respective partners, all while still fighting between themselves.

_All of that cake... everywhere. It was marvelous. ...until I had to help Jerrica clean it up. All of the screaming, all of the chaos._

Pizzazz herself, however, had stayed out of the planning. She had instead ended up taking a backseat for both halves of the combined birthday, and found herself worrying over the love lives of her bandmates. If she was already questioning her status as a Misfit after only three weeks, there was no way of telling what Roxy, Jetta, and Stormer had considered with however long their relationships had been.

_And Blaze... but at least she's got her girlfriend as a manager. They work together, but if they split up it wouldn't split up the band, unlike Roxy and Jetta... Then again, I guess I've now seen firsthand what breaking up with Clash can do to someone._

Trash, when not fawning over the Misfits or working on clothing and gear for Pizzazz, had taken to living in a sort of nest in Eric's attic. To Pizzazz's delight, he had complained that her “crawling around in the walls at night” had left him sleepless on several occasions since then, and Techrat had taken to installing more security cameras around the premises.

_I hope she gives you nightmares, Eric. I hope she gives you nothing but nightmares while she makes my armaments._

Pizzazz stood and waved as she saw Blaze's little car pull onto the grounds. Clash had taken over as a chauffeur of sorts for the band, so errands could be run without interrupting practice. Despite the new job title, she had found that her job was much the same as what she did before, only with even more responsibilities, more micromanaging, and still no pay yet.

_'bout time someone finally gets here. Jerrica left three hours ago, and she was only supposed to be getting there an hour earlier. Probably forgot about me... Halfway into recording. 'Hey, we sound better than usual. Oh, that's why. Someone better go get the has-been rich girl we used to depend on.'_

_What am I even going to do when they realize they don't need me anymore. Just sit around, helping with charities and crap? More arts and crafts with kids? You're losing your touch, Pizzazz. Just face that, better to accept it now than-_

“You finally realized you were missing all the talent!?” Pizzazz pounded a hand down on top of the hood of the Beetle. She walked around and jerked open the passenger door, slammed herself down on the seat, and closed the door hard enough to cause the car to shake.

“I... ...Clash was feeling under the weather, so I drove. I've... I mean I've only been here once, and Stormer drove. Sorry, I'm not great with directions.” Blaze's apology was half-mumbled as she started down at the steering wheel, pouting.

_Oh. Damn it, Blaze. It was supposed to be Clash. Let me yell at Clash. You didn't do anything. ...I guess neither did they._

“Sorry. Bad mood. ...Hey don't cry about it. I said I'm sorry. Let's get a move on.”

Blaze sniffled, then started the car back up. “Right, sorry. Uhm. Everyone's mostly set up. There was an argument between Clash, Jerrica, and Eric, but it's... it's hopefully wrapped up by now.”

_Jerrica and Eric I'm not surprised by... Clash and Jerrica certainly not. All three together, though... Whose ass am I going to kick here? And why is it still going to be Eric's?_

“Are you just always like this? Or does being in the presence of someone as celebrated as myself just take the spine right out of it?”

Blaze shrugged and bit at her lip, turning the car back around to take Pizzazz from Starlight Mansion. “You, I guess, and the other Misfits. A month ago I was just a fan girl. I'm still waiting to wake up, and this has all been a dream. Or you'll suddenly realize I'm not talented and give me the boot.”

_You and me both, Blaze. ...you and me both. Hmmph. At least your fear's rational._

“Misfits don't make mistakes, Blaze. You'll do well to learn that, since you're a Misfit too. What would Clash say if she heard you say all of that?”

“I dunno, really. I haven't talked to her so much about it. She's been under a lot of stress lately, things haven't really been great. But I guess things haven't been going well for everyone else, either. I just try to keep my cool. I try to get Clash to meditate with me, but long silences aren't exactly her thing... not that I'm surprised. I knew that before we got together. ...honestly attracted me to her. She's just... loud and carefree normally, never boggled down over-thinking things. It's gotten us in trouble, it's gotten us fired before, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.”

Pizzazz sat still, staring at the road ahead of them. There was a long awkward silence stretching the rest of the drive to Starlight Music, neither passenger so much as turning to look at the other.

_We're on opposite paths, you and I. Maybe Clash can help you find that. Make you as loud and brash as I try to be. I'm... I'm losing my touch. This album's the last I've got in me. The others know it, they can smell it on me, they've known me long enough. I won't hold it against you, though. Hell, I was the one that offered you the chance. And you'll never know how alike we are..._

“Next time you should turn on the radio. It's less depressing, usually.”

 

 

 

“Pizzazz, we need to talk. Have you -seen- how much of a cut Starlight Mansion gets from the sales of your music? It's-”

“I'm aware, Eric. I read the papers myself, didn't I?”

She hadn't, in fact, read the papers. But she had discussed the matter with Jerrica privately after the original papers had been signed. The increased cut actually came from her own portion of the profits, but she wasn't about to tell Eric that he didn't have a reason to be concerned. _Your misery is my joy, Eric._

“I told you, Eric. The Misfits already approved how their pay would be divided. ”

_God she looks hot when she's putting him in his place. ...or maybe it's the suit. White's good on her. But so is pink... ...and blue. ...hell, anything's good on her. ...nothing's good on her. I'm good on her. I don't even want to record right now, all I want to do is clear off all the clutter around this recording equipment and-_

“What do you think, Pizzazz?” Jerrica turned to her.

_You know damn well what I think. ...Wait. Oh god the conversation continued without me. Nod and agree, Pizzazz. Say positive things._

“Yeah, I think it's all the right thing to do. They can't support themselves now, can they?”

Clash's face scrunched up for a moment, her brow twitched, then in an instant she was out the door and crying. Everyone else merely stood and stared at Pizzazz in shock and bemusement.

“We're... ...we're still talking about Starlight Mansion, right?”

Blaze slapped her hand over her forehead and let out a loud sigh. “I'll... I'll go get her.” She poked her head outside of the door “Honey! Please! Pizzazz is just stupid and not listening!”

_What the hell did I say? What are we even talking about!?_

“You just told Clash she ruined someone's life, and praised her for it. Very nice, Pizzazz. All I wanted was that -thing- out of my attic. Now I'll never get it out.”

_Oh. ...Ohhhh. Oh god damn it. I... Fuck._

“You have something against albinos, Eric? You know she's a woman, right?” Pizzazz did her best to swap gears, turning attention to Eric, shoving him open-palmed against the wall.

“I... It's not like that! She just scares me! She scares -Techrat-! Nothing about her appearance matters when all you hear is skittering late at night, mixed with the sounds of cutting and metal against metal. It's like some kind of horror movie!”

_You're not really convincing me that you need help. All I wanted was enough clothes to cover an army, now you're telling me that I've made your life into a horror movie? ...Eric, nobody but Jerrica is allowed to bring me this much pleasure at once. I need a smoke._

“Shouldn't you go catch up to them, Pizzazz? We kinda need our lead guitarist.” Pizzazz snapped to, turning to see the rest of her bandmates waiting impatiently. Stormer was in front, clutching her keytar. “And you have been kinda rude to us all lately. We've been working really hard, but you've been really cracking the whip this whole time...”

_This is it. Isn't it. This is where you tell me you want me out. ...and to think, it was because I was too hard on you, not too soft._

“I'm working you as hard as I need to!” Pizzazz stomped her foot hard into the tiled floor of the mixing booth. “You've all just gotten weaker! You've grown complacent over the last several months! Maybe you expected me to go easier on you since I'm dating the pink one, but I'm still me! I'm-”

Roxy stepped forward and put an arm on Pizzazz's shoulder. “Hey, can we get some privacy in here for a bit? Eric, Jerrica. I think we need to have a little Misfits intervention if you don't mind.”

_Yep, yep. This is it. This is that moment. Well I'm not going down with a fight! I know all of your secrets. I'll take you down first, Roxy. I know you don't even read the lyric sheets you get when you do backup vocals, and you just repeat what you hear Stormer sing as close as you can! And Stormer, I know all about your bizarre love of-_

After Jerrica and Eric left, closing the door behind them, Roxy's arms went around Pizzazz and hugged her tightly. Within a moment Stormer and Jetta had joined in, each surrounding her and squeezing her.

_This... What. What is this. UNHAND ME! LET ME GO! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS HUGGY FEELY SHIT!?_

“Pizzazz, not normally for breaking Misfits mode here but, we love ya, y'know that? We don't judge you for getting all feely-feely now that you've got a girlfriend. Hell, me's and Roxy were certainly overly touchy-feely for months after we got together. It's just normal.”

Stormer nodded into the hug. “What Jetta's trying to say is that we think we know why you've been acting so odd lately. Like you're trying to compensate for something. We thought maybe that's why you brought Blaze in even, that you owed us a replacement...”

_I... I didn't mean for her to be a replacement. I just thought you'd..._

The hug eventually ceased, and the other three Misfits backed away from Pizzazz, smiling.

“You're our vocalist, you're the sound that holds us together. As long as you don't start makin' us do love songs, we're good.” Roxy gave Stormer a nudge in the shoulder. “Or letting Stormer's ballad suggestions on the album.”

_...I hate you goons. Lovely, lovely goons. Just let me be paranoid in peace, will you? It's all part of the creative process. ...Or maybe it isn't. I'm not even sure anymore._

“So, what, all of this is normal, then? I'm behaving normal?”

_Normal-ish, at least._

Roxy shrugged. “As normal as us, and that's all that matters. Pizz, we once flew around on a remote controlled UFO wearing full body suits that fired lasers at random. I don't think normal experiences are what we shoot for.”

“Do you... do you ever get that voice in the back of your head that keeps telling you that everything you're doing is a lie and everyone's going to find out?” Pizzazz awkwardly mumbled under her breath, avoiding eye contact with the others as she asked.

Suddenly the door was open again, a particularly irritated Clash walking in followed closely by Blaze. “I'm sorry.” She grunted out. “I overreacted. I'm not in a great mood, and I'm not working on much sleep, and I acted unprofessionally. “

“Just two months ago you were still a fawning fan girl. This job's getting to you, Clash.” Roxy walked over to Clash and gave her a tight hug as well. “I'm hugging away everyone's woes today! Roxy hugs, come and get them!”

Pizzazz turned to Jetta in hopes for an explanation, but found only confusion on Jetta's face as well. “So much for us being bitter. Look at us. We are the Misfits, our drummer's a hugger. We are the Misfits, the Misfits, and- NO NOT ME AGAIN!” Jetta's arms had gone back around Pizzazz, while Stormer had taken to hugging Blaze.

“We're a family. Remember that. Clash, that means you too, you're basically a Misfit yourself.” Roxy ruffled at Clash's hair teasingly. “You've put up with more of Pizzazz than any of us ever did anyway.”

_It's true. Hell, I humiliated her in front of everyone she grew up around. I've made her do my dirty work for over three years now... and now I've forced her to work with her ex. I'm a great friend. ...Wonder if she ever wondered why I treated her like shit._

“Can we start recording now? It's... imperative that we finish this track today. He said imperative, right?” Clash asked Blaze, Blaze nodded back. “Yeah. Basically, he said 'If Pizzazz wants to go through with this poorly conceived MisfitsGrams tour, with the absurd stage show, we need to be done with our part of the recording today.' Give or take a few angry remarks.”

_...Now Eric, Eric I genuinely hate. You, you're cute. You don't deserve my shit. I would have dated you if you had asked. ...and been single. ...Who are you kidding Pizzazz, you wouldn't have cared if she was single. She's like some kind of cute bird, that also will attack anyone I ask it. You could have been my murderous peacock._

“Clash, I made you our manager so you could manage. If I wanted Eric to manage, I'd... well, I'd ask the girls to cart me off to Arkham because I've finally lost my mind. But also I would have put him back in place as manager. I like you. You show initiative, you're ruthless, and above else you're loyal to me and me alone.”

_And I guess the others too. If you really need to. It's a shame I can't use your services anymore for sabotaging the Holograms. I'm going to miss the chaos. ...I'm going to miss you in that Jem disguise. No, no. Bad Pizz. You've got the real Jem now. Corrupt the real thing all you want._

“Alright, let's finish this album! “

 

 

 

_Think positively. Think positively. The recording sessions went great. Your band still likes you. Her band vaguely tolerates you. Eric is miserable. Techrat's afraid. Rio... recovered but doesn't want to come back to Starlight when you're around. ...Things still feel wrong._

“Are you really sure this is what you wanted, Green Bean?”

_Is any of this what I wanted? I wanted fame, power. Fortune. ...well, I wanted fame and power. I wanted hit singles, I wanted posters of me up on the wall of every teenager's room. I wanted-_

“I mean I would've understood if you wanted to out with the band. Celebrate the final recording session and all of that.”

Pizzazz and Jem sat at opposite sides of a neon blue and black booth inside of the dimly lit arcade. Pizzazz in a pink crop top with matching knee high boots, an open blue over shirt, and black leggings with purple vine printing, Jem in a light blue jumpsuit with white high-heeled boots.

_This is celebrating, Jerrica. Keep up with me, princess. I'm demonstrating to myself that I can still do both of these roles. I can be Pizzazz, and I can be Jerrica's girl. I got my Misfitting done for now, so all that's left is..._

Pizzazz dipped one of her fries into ketchup, then poked at the tip of Jem's nose with it. “They'll be fine having their own celebration without me. I needed some company that wasn't going to cramp my style so much. Besides, we're all still meeting up at Starlight in a few hours... That's more than enough time spent with them.”

Jem reached for a napkin to get the ketchup off, but before she could Pizzazz had sat up on her knees on her side of the booth, leaned over the table, and flicked her tongue across her nose. She grinned as she sat back into place. “You had a little thing on you.”

_Oh she's too cute when she blushes. Her cheeks match her hair... I need to make that a more frequent thing._

“I, um. I take it you're satisfied with how recording went?”

_Do we have to talk about business now? I just want to eat my dogs, play some Frogger, and then put all of those dirty thoughts from earlier to use._

Pizzazz sighed. “It went fine. I think Jetta's almost as competent a bassist as she was our saxophonist. Stormer's adapted pretty quickly to the new sound. Blaze... she's good in the studio. I'm concerned over how she'll be on stage, though.”

“She does seem fairly shy. I can empathize, I know that if it wasn't for my little disguises I couldn't perform on stage even half as well.”

_I'll fix that someday, princes. You just need to start looking up to me for motivation and inspiration._

“That's how we're going to fix the issue, in a way.” Pizzazz took a big messy bite of her mustard-drenched hot dog, then continued talking as she chewed. “I told Trash that Blaze's helmet needs to be more face obscuring. She's getting this big, menacing thing. Red and yellow, with little wings on the sides. I think it'll help.”

Jem passed her napkins across the table to Pizzazz. “You uh... You know I'd return the favor, but no, no. You need these more than I do.”

_Well excuuuuse me, princess. It's hard to talk and eat at the same time._

Pizzazz stuck out her tongue, still coated in hot dog bits, and pulled down an eyelid in Jem's direction.

“Oh I can't take you anywhere.” Jem feigned irritation, then reached out to stroke at Pizzazz's free hand. “That is sweet, though. The helmet, thing. So, I take it everyone's going to be armored for this whole stage show... any other interesting plans?”

_You know you love me, even when I'm a mess. Ha ha you love me and have to put up with me!_

She politely waited until she was done with the hot dog before speaking again, mockingly patting around her mouth with the napkins with a pinkie out. “Lot of pyrotechnics, most of which are being handled by Techrat. Trash is operating a dragon prop that will spew out fire over the audience, and will be portraying the evil witch queen. She's already 6'3, with lifts she'll be a good villain. Clash...” _Clash will be you, dear._ Pizzazz swallowed hard. “Clash will be the princess that the warrior queen, me, rescues, from the evil one.”

“It seems a little mean to make the albino have to be evil. Why can't Trash be a princess?”

 _Because she looks like the wife from The Shining? Besides,_ s _he insisted on the evil role, it's not my fault. She heard there was an undead queen that controlled the dragon she was building and practically begged._

“Are you asking me to swap the roles?”

Jem fidgeted a bit in her seat. “Oh, no. It's your creative vision, I wouldn't want to-”

“No, it's fine. ...Trash Princess. It'll be unique, at least. And it's not like being a source of destruction on stage will exactly be a foreign concept for Clash.”

_If I shoot down the first suggestion you make, I can't guarantee you'll make more... I need to show that I'm open minded. ...That dress will need alterations. ...And I'll need lifts. I'm not getting upstaged because my trophy is four inches taller than me._

“My microphone will be a mace. A big fucking mace, with a cord that looks like a chain. The whole thing is just going to be... Outrageous.”

_And nobody will ever doubt me, ever again. This will be the heaviest, most intense show The Misfits have ever put on. Then I can do anything else I want without anyone ever wondering if I've gone weak. No more chaos or carnage necessary. No more pranks. No more 'I might have almost killed Jem in a helicopter accident with a bunch of balloons.'_

“What about you, princess? The Holotwerps still going to be fit and primed to tour with us?”

“We finish recording tomorrow, I'd say we're all prepped. It helps that we don't have to do all of the planning you have... Though I'm a little anxious about you hearing one of the new songs.”

_Did she write a love song? A love song about me? ...Oh princess. I need to hear this. Don't seem too excited, Pizzazz. Calm yourself, inquire further. You can smooch her face to death later._

“Why's that? Worried you wrote something truly awful this time around? Too distracted by a certain ravishing star in your life to write hits like you used to?”

Jem smirked. “Quite the opposite, I felt... inspired. Of my four lyrical contributions, three were rewritten after we got together... and one was written for you.”

_Keep it together, Pizzazz. Keep it together. Come on baby, hold together._

“You're so cute when you're blushing. You always look so angry about it.” Jem held tightly onto Pizzazz's hand. “And you're so pretty when you're angry.”

_Nope, can't keep it together._

Pizzazz scrunched into her seat awkwardly a bit, bashfulness consuming her. “I love you, Jem.”

“I love you too, Pizzazz. One of these days I'm going to hold you to the duet idea, you know. I think I could handle rougher songs every now and then, if you're prepared to go softer occasionally.”

_I could suffer through a lifetime of performing The Carpenters songs if it's what I had to do to stay with you, Jem._

“What would we even call ourselves? Pizzazz & Jem is too dull, we'd need something catchy.”

“Oh, why does your name have to be first? Why not... Cotton-Candy and The Grumbling?”

_I don't grumble -that- much! Only when I'm irritated. Or tired. Or confused. Or..._

“Because we both know I'm the real talent, babe. I can see our names in lights now. Come see the songs of Grumbling and Cotton-Candy.”

“You say that but I know you don't mean it.” Jem reached up and batted at Pizzazz's death-hawk. “I finally have you figured out. I'm a little surprised how long it took, frankly. Looking back, it all seems so obvious... Remember that time you helped make a full recreation of my home life to find out my identity?”

_I... try not to think too much on that anymore, princess. I'm putting those times behind me now._

“Yeah, and I got enough of it right... if it wasn't for the Jerrica detail, everything would have worked out. ...I'm glad it didn't.”

_I came too close to hurting you too many times. You're too sweet to forgive me for all of it._

“That's my point, though. You generally seem indifferent to everyone around you. You didn't even notice your bandmates love lives... yet you were able to recreate so much about me, with such detail. It's... it's slightly unnerving, but it really shows where your mind was at the time. Maybe I should have assumed sooner... I could have made the first move.”

“You did make the first move. ...in high school. Not that it matters, can't beat yourself up over it. Nine times out of ten, someone's as much of a bitch to you as I am, they just hate you or are jealous of you. I'm just... well.”

_Not great at conveying things. Having a great difficulty putting things out in a nice or non-aggressive way._

“You've got your quirks, and I've got mine. We're an unconventional couple, but I'm an unconventional woman, Pizzazz.”

_And I wouldn't have it any other way, Jerrica._

“Finish your hot dogs. I wanna hit up the Double Dragon machine with you. We've got virtual asses to kick.”

 

 

 

Pizzazz fidgeted in her black heeled-boots and a black dress, the closest thing to a proper 'fancy' dress that she owned and hadn't accidentally destroyed, impatiently waiting around in the dining area of Starlight Mansion. It was Jerrica's idea to get everyone involved in the album over for a late night dinner, and Pizzazz had declined to join them for it.

“You know they're going to be mildly drunk for this, right? ...and with Jetta and Clash, I really shouldn't be saying 'mildly.'”

Jem had opted for her long purple gown with matching heels and leggings. She had been arranging the plates and silverware while Pizzazz had watched for the past half hour, but had not once asked for help. _I should feel guilty over this._

“I trust them to not damage anything. Well... I trust -you- to keep them from damaging anything, I should say. I still don't exactly trust any of them besides Stormer. ...Eric's not coming, right?”

_Yeah yeah, I can keep my ducks in a line, princess. Hell, I kept Jetta from going through your stuff didn't I?_

“Knock knock knock, we're here!” The double door had opened and Stormer walked out, the rest of the Misfits crew in tow. One by one they lined out, getting an eyeful of the home they were usually never invited inside.

Stormer wore a black and green dress with green tassels that Pizzazz felt made her look like she was part rug, Roxy a bright orange dress that attached to her neck by a black collar studded collar with a matching studded belt around her waist, Jetta had simply not even bothered and came in her usual black and white outfit, Blaze wore her leopard print dress from nights prior, Clash a pink tuxedo with a black and white undershirt, and Trash...

“Trash, were you even invited? ...What the hell are you wearing?”

Trash stood awkwardly in one of Eric's suits, too short in length at the arms and legs and very loose fitting. She had worn her own shoes at least, but the high heeled boots brought her up yet a few more inches in height.

“Eric wanted us to take Frankenstein here with us, and Blaze was feelin' sorry for her.” Jetta stood on her toes and patted at the taller girl's shoulder. “Honestly I think she looks better in the suit than Eric did.”

Trash coughed awkwardly. “Like, if it's an inconvenience I could like, go back to the van. I don't mind much, there's like corn nuts under one of the seats.”

_What's even the point of having a secret stash of snacks when everyone just ends up finding it anyway._

“Oh no, it's fine, there's more than enough food for everyone. You're Beibhinn I take it? Everyone, have a seat and I'll bring out the food. Just, sit wherever.” And with that, Jem ducked out, leaving Pizzazz with her bandmates and crew.

There was an awkward silence for awhile as everyone found themselves a seat, interrupted only by the sound of “She seems nice, for sure” and a few irritated groans in Trash's direction.

_They'll get used to having to be nice to Jem, eventually. Someday._

Pizzazz kept the seat next to her empty. After that they sat Blaze, Clash, Stormer, Trash, Jetta, Roxy, then back to Pizzazz around the rectangular table.

“Never thought I'd have Jem cooking me dinner. The hell did you even do to her, Pizzazz?” Roxy clacked her silverware together with Jetta's, making a pile of them. “The hell company does she even think we are?”

_I didn't do anything! ...except help cook. As much as she'd let me, at least. It's not my fault I don't really get opportunities to try things out._

Pizzazz did her best to ignore Roxy's questions and turned her attention to Clash instead. “You look like a lion tamer. Is that really the best you've got?”

Blaze sighed. “I told her the same thing. She doesn't like dressing up, Video offered one of her dresses but-”

“But I'm not wearing any of my cousin's things! I already hate sleeping on her couch and eating her food. The last thing I'm going to do is inflate her ego by making her think her fashion sense is better than mine.”

“Well, like. They all called you Clash in high school 'cause of that 'fashion sense' of yours. Long before I put all that bronze to work and made those gnarly little things on your arms there.”

_...That's why they called her Clash? How'd I never put -that- one together. The mixed up makeup, all those nail polishes..._

“And they called you Trash because you dumpster dived so much outside of the school!” Clash shouted across the table.

Trash looked hurt for a moment. “Also because I ate a girl out behind the dumpster! Oh, now, like, I wonder who that was. For sure, it was a mystery.” She flared her upper lip in Clash's direction. “And with all that bangin' and wailin', it was like you -wanted- us to get caught! What even was your damage, Clash?”

_I'm torn. Do I keep them from fighting, or do I point out that I voiced these very same complaints a month ago._

“...You told me the dumpster story wasn't true, and it was just a rumor they spread.”

Clash buried her face behind her palms. “Leah, please, just ignore her.”

There was yet another lengthy awkward silence, till Jetta's thickly accented voice broke it all with “Rox, why the hell are we the normal ones? Pizzazz has laundry rooms. Clash has dumpsters. Are we doing something wrong by keeping it to a bed?”

_I hate all of you. I hate all of you so much. I hope the food is under-cooked, and this album is released in our memory after we all die of food poisoning._

“I don't think Jem would appreciate us talking like this around her table.” Blaze gave a dirty look in Jetta's direction.

Pizzazz scratched at her head for what to say, then finally shrugged, “It's not a particularly sacred table. I think Stormer and Kimber have banged on it.”

Everyone but Pizzazz turned to stare at Stormer.

“I... not true! Not... well. Not -this- table.” Stormer blushed and looked down at her empty plate, trying to avoid eye contact. “The doors in here are quieter than any others, and Kimber was worried we wouldn't hear anyone coming...”

Blaze threw her hands up in the air. “Well, that's great. That's... that's great. Oh hey Jem's here, Jem, please, let me help you with the food before I throw my plate at someone.”

 

 

 

“That was pretty amazing, well. ...except the rice. But, I mean burned rice is... ...ricey.” Stormer struggled to pay a compliment, having only eaten the chicken around the rice herself.

_I've never cooked rice, alright? She... she told me not to. But I did it anyway. Give me a break._

“I'm sorry for the rice, I was multitasking a bit in the kitchen. Left it in a little too long.” Jem apologized.

_And now you're covering for me. Fantastic. If I was such a bitch I could just take credit for the chicken, then._

“I thought the rice was like, excellent. Sorry again for, like, giving the chicken to the others, I'm just not big on the whole meat scene.” Trash had ended up letting Stormer eat all of her meat in exchange for all of her rice, even gulping down the blackened pieces.

It had been a pleasant dinner overall, at least. Blaze had calmed Clash down, and the two of them managed to restore some order once the food was out. Pizzazz found herself missing the arguing, though. A happy, peaceful band was a boring band.

_Especially when they're listening to someone else..._

“I think we'll have a blast touring together later in the year. It's nice being around all of you and not having anything radically go wrong.” Jem had remained pleasant the whole dinner.

Jetta shrugged. “If Pizzazz loves ya, we can at least tolerate ya. Right girls?” Roxy nodded in response. “I mean, on top of Stormer here hookin' up with Kimber. How we never saw that one comin', I'll never know.”

_You'll have to be more than tolerant. If -any- of you mess things up for her, I swear to god I'll do to you what I did to the rice._

“Still feels weird to me, but I'm only barely a Misfit so... I don't really have a place to judge. Jem's been nice to us, right Leah?”

“I feel like the only person in here that doesn't have any kind of enemy situation going on with anyone, so... I'm pretty fine with this. I'm confused why both bands hated each other so much. You're barely in the same genre, since the Holograms are poppier, while the Misfits have always been more of a heavy glam kind of thing...”

_That's... ...this is actually a decent point, Blaze._

“We mostly became rivals because of Eric Raymond. Then I guess mine and Pizzazz's... ...rivalry... blossomed. Things snowballed from there.” Jem shrugged. “But at least everything's better now, and I trust Clash not to do anything that Eric would have done.”

“And even if you don't, I'll ride her ass to make sure she behaves as a manager.” Blaze threw an arm around Clash and pulled her into a hug.

Jetta and Clash both choked up, followed by Pizzazz. Soon Clash was blushing heavily. After a few moments, it seemed to dawn on Blaze why.

“...Oh you're all... perverts. Jem, how do you stand them?”

Pizzazz grinned wickedly. “Oh, Jem has her own pervert side. Really, we're all perverts here, Blaze. It's a thing to get used to. Also things going wrong, explosions, people getting trapped in places, and kids in danger. Oh, oh, and car-related accidents.”

“Also weird shit. Remember that time you told us you saw Bigfoot? When we were in the Himalayas-” Roxy was interrupted by Clash clanging her bracelets together over and over.

“Do not, do not use that word around-”

Trash was suddenly beaming, hands clasped together. “Tell me eeeeeverything! Oh, oh, but you mean a yeti, for sure. Like, what was it like? How tall was it?”

_I barely remember... but I think I called -it- daddy._

Jem palmed her forehead and sighed, trying to look away from everyone else.

_...Was that your doing, Jerrica? I have to wonder, just how many times I thought I was losing my mind, and it was just Synergy trickery._

“Trash has... a bit of a thing for nonsense like that. Aliens, Bigfoot, ghosts. Also lives in fear of a robot uprising.”

Trash pouted. “And you don't? I remember a certain someone sneaking me into their room that night after seein' Terminator at the drive-in because they were too scared the robots would come for her.”

“And in retrospect, I would have rather slept with a Terminator.”

“It's getting pretty late.” Pizzazz stood up, attempting to interrupt the conversation. “As much as I'd love to hear more of this absolutely boring garbage, I actually don't. So, get out.”

 

 

 

“Roxy and Jetta make for an interesting couple.” Jem tapped at her earrings, swapping back into Jerrica as the bedroom door closed behind them. “If that's the right word to use...”

_A horrible couple, in a way. Their negative aspects compliment each other, in ways. They'll grow old and end up being the lesbian answer to those two guys in the balcony from The Muppet Show..._

“Feels weird being in a band of couples, like everyone's romantically involved. We could end up like The Beatles at any point.”

“To be fair, Pizz, The Beatles lasted a decade. That's not too bad of a goal. ...Not that I see that kind of strife breaking up the band. Who would even split them up? Clash is supportive of Blaze, and has made it clear she has no interest in her ex. Jetta and Roxy seem pretty stable. Stormer and Kimber are... inseparable. ...Do you worry about me?”

_Constantly, every waking second, to a degree. But that's what I do, princess. I worry and over-think. You don't get to maintain this attitude and lifestyle without a large, large sack of worries._

“Not particularly. We've talked about a project together, but it wouldn't split the band up...”

Jerrica sat next to Pizzazz on the bed and hugged her around the waist from the side. “Then I don't see that the problem is. Unless you're worried about Eric.”

_Eric should be the one worrying. If he ever tried anything, I know for a fact I have piles of dirt I could use against him. You don't conspire with someone that long without ending up with at least a bit of evidence._

“You're right... This is all going to work out. Tomorrow I can relax... then Thursday we meet up with Video in the park.”

_And I'll finally have my army.. hopefully._

“...You know, what Kimber doesn't know is that if you just take a tight enough scrunchie, you can keep the doors down there from opening.”

Pizzazz arched an eyebrow. “I take it I should never let Stormer know this?”

“That and... ...you know. ...The table's clear now, and we're going to have to clean in there anyway.”

_Are you sugges-Oh my god._

... _Maybe there are some things in this life better than having an army._

“Lead the way, princess.”

 


	13. Bend The Knee, Storm the Beaches

"Like, no? Not like, at all no? Very much like, no. I mean, I don't want to question The Misfits on anything but like. No?"

Trash stood in the middle of Eric's living room holding up a frilly pink and white gown in front of her. Roxy and Jetta sat off to the side, chuckling and whispering things to each other, while Stormer dug through Clash's disguise chest for the right hair.

Pizzazz huffed and gave the taller girl a push backwards towards the hallway. "I gave you an order, I didn't ask you anything! Go! Princessify! We need to run through everything for tomorrow, which means you need to be princessy."

"Did Clash die in there or something? We shouldn't have sent anyone into Eric's bathroom alone. Pizzazz, you've seen the weird stuff rat guy's set up. Death traps and stuff."

_Roxy has a point... God, would he have cameras set up everywhere too? I know how far Eric's gone with cameras before. ...We should never have used this as a base of operations. I'll have to set fire to that basement when we leave._

Pizzazz groaned loudly and threw her hands in the air, "Fine, Blaze, go make sure Clash is fine. Trash, you are going in immediately after. Choose a bathroom buddy, or whatever."

"As if! Nobody's followin' me into a bathroom but me. I don't care how weird this place is! ...with all due respect, for sure." Trash caught the anger in Pizzazz's eyes and gulped hard. "I, sorry. For sure. Uhm. ...Jetta, like. Will you be my bathroom buddy?"

Jetta turned to Roxy and shrugged her shoulders, Roxy shrugged back. "Oi... why not. I'm not even questioning this shite anymore."

Eric and Techrat tended to be absent each time the band would come over to the house, but Pizzazz knew they weren't truly gone. The door to the basement, where all of Techrat's gear had been set up, was locked so well that neither Roxy nor Clash had been able to get through it.

_They're probably in there. At least Techrat is, I bet he has to keep watch on us to make sure we don't wreck the place too much. The hell would he even do if we did? Even Blaze could take Techrat on and she's all granola and yoga._

Work was nearing completion at least, and soon she would never have to set foot in Raymond's house ever again. Trash had claimed she had made all of the leather and faux fur barbarian outfits she could make with the supplies Eric had left for her, Shana had put together a quick gown 'fit for a princess' as well as Clash's sorceress queen getup at Jerrica's request , and the armor for the band was a quick paint job away from being ready.

_I just need to know where she's hiding the dragon. I need my dragon. That's how we're going to blow this whole thing out of the water. Big. Steel. Fire-breathing..._

"I feel like the worst witch ever." Clash pouted as Blaze brought her back into the living room.

She wore a long black dress with a gasping neckline down to her belly button, a large black collar extending up from the back several inches above her head. A chain of small skulls held the dress together in front across her chest and at the neck. Pizzazz had taken full credit for the design, but had mostly ripped it off from a late night viewing of Legend she had had with Jerrica and the other Holograms a week prior.

"You look fine. You just need the right makeup and wig. Something dark, for both. ...Is green skin going too far? Should we give her green skin, or try to make her as pale as Trash?" Pizzazz walked around Clash, eyeing her up and down.

"You know who is, like, as pale as Trash? Trash is totally as pale as Trash."

Blaze held onto her own arm anxiously, biting into her lip a bit. "I... ...Can we keep this outfit? After the tour, I mean."

"It... you like it?" Clash blushed deeply. “I could get used to this if you like it.”

_Maybe Jerrica's suggestion was for the best. I could get used to this view during each show. Blaze, you are one lucky woman._

"Trash, quit complaining and go get your princess junk on! Jetta, go make sure she does it, and that there's no surprises!"

Trash frowned as Jetta dragged her by the arm down the hall and into Eric's bathroom, dragging behind her the pink gown and a long flowing blonde wig. "I'm goin', I'm goin'. Gag me with a fuckin' spoon..."

"Hey Clash, I've been wondering." Stormer peeked down the hallway before continuing. "I mean, you're from the Midwest, we met your dad."

"Well, yeah. Mulberry, Indiana. ...Why?"

"And you, Blaze, and Trash knew each other in high school right?"

Clash sighed. "Yeah. Blaze moved in from Maine when I was a freshman, and Trash was the girl next door. ...Why do you ask?"

"Why does Trash talk like, well, that? The 'like' and 'for sure' and 'very'?"

Clash pointed both index fingers at Blaze and cackled. "That's all on Blaze! Blaze is to blame for that, and I couldn't be happier that prank is still paying off!"

Blaze's blush returned just as quickly as it had faded. "I... I didn't think she'd keep going! We... after graduation, we came out to California together, since Clash's cousin had done the same the year before. I might have kinda convinced Trash that that was how people in Los Angeles talk."

_...You pranked someone and it lasted for -seven years-?! Oh my god. I'm... You. You. I love you. I hid rotten meat in Eric's car once and the smell lasted a month, I can't imagine the joy of knowing a prank lasted over seven years and kept going!_

"Shouldn't someone tell her?" Stormer asked, concerned and completely oblivious to why Clash, then Pizzazz and Roxy, were all cracking up. "How did she not find out already?"

"I would have said something, but we hadn't really spoke in person in a fair while. I didn't know she was still talking like an airhead until Pizzazz and I went to her place. I'll be 25 next week, so... yeah, almost seven years now. Seven years a valley girl."

_Blaze, this is the evilest thing any of us has ever done that didn't physically injure anyone. Teach me your ways._

“I just wanted to pass the time. It's awkward enough sharing a long car ride with your girlfriend's ex, and Trash and I never really got along even before I started dating Clash. Surprisingly it never got better. She's just... so damn literal minded.”

Clash ruffled at Blaze's hair. “Oh, but you've been so good at pranking since then! You've been my partner in crime ever since then.”

Blaze pouted. “More like unwitting accomplice. I never want to hurt anyone! I probably would have passed on a few of those dates had I known they were also errands for Pizzazz and Eric.”

“Oh you know that's not true. And all those times you saved my ass afterwards.”

“Because I love you, you jerk.” Blaze affectionately bopped her knuckles onto Clash's chin. “-Despite- you being a jerk, not because of.”

Pizzazz knelt down over Clash's disguise chest and started pushing around through the top layer of wigs. _Too showy... too cute. Too big, too modern... ...Is that a Pizzazz wig?! That's my hair! ...I... I'm not sure I want to ask. Ah-haaaaa!_

She walked back over to Clash and plopped a Cher wig down on her. “Now you're a witch. You are now fit to tame the dragon... before I take it from you, of course.” Pizzazz grinned wide, then wiggled the wig around on Clash's head to mess it up. “Where is that thing, anyway? Has anyone seen it yet?”

“It's in Eric's garage, she won't let us see it yet.” Clash tried to adjust the wig over her own hair, but have up and opted to hold the wig in-hand for the time being.

_Well that's too bad... Because I'm going to see it. I need to know it's ready._

“Roxy, Stormer, at attention! While the horrible princess is imprisoned in the bathroom by the dastardly Jetta, we must away to the garage to feast our eyes upon the infernal beast within!”

Roxy stared blankly. “...Do what now, Pizzazz?”

“Just... help me break into the garage, you numb skull.”

“Can't do it. Even Eric can't get into his garage anymore, that thing's so chained up I'd need a blowtorch to get through it, and I think that's up in the attic with the rest of Trash's stuff. That place gives me the creeps so...”

_You're all useless! Can't get me into Eric's basement, can't get me into Eric's garage. What -can- you get me into?_

Suddenly an imitation of trumpet playing was booming from the hallway. “Announcing, Princess Blondie-blonde!” Came Jetta's voice.

Trash looked even more awkward than ever before, standing in the pink gown intended for someone a few inches shorter. The long blonde wig made her look even paler than before, bringing out the pinks of her eyes.

“Please, like, kill me now. I look like I'm going to get rescued by a couple of plumbers.”

_...In retrospect, maybe Clash should have remained the princess. She at least knows how to look happy. How can you be that pink and that miserable looking? ...Oh god now I know how I looked when I wore Jerrica's clothes._

Clash did her best to stifle a giggle. “Bee, I've never seen you so... girly. It's unsettling.”

“For sure. I don't go for this gown and pink shit. Like I'll help for The Misfits, I love you all, truly, but... like, this is the worst thing I've ever worn. I feel like a total girly-girl.”

“Ducky, considering the eyeful I just got back there helping you get that on, I hate to break it to you but I think you might be onto somethin'.” Jetta smacked Trash's ass, causing her to fall over in her pink heels, right into the open chest of wigs and other disguise pieces. “Oh- oi, sorry! I was just tryin' to be cheeky!”

Trash made a few grunting noises as she tried to pull herself out of the crate. Her legs dangled out and over at the knee, the rest of her fit neatly into the large container. “I'm, like, fine. Just like, a bit in pain but I'm fine!”

_Try not to kill her just yet, Jetta. Please. We still need a roadie while Clash's hands are full, and I don't want to have to drag along Techrat as our princess. ...I wonder how awkward he'd be as a princess. Ratprincess or Trashprincess, what the hell kind of kingdom are you plundering Pizz?_

“I don't want to be a bother, but like, can someone y'know, like... get me out of this thing?”

Jetta and Roxy stood over the crate, wobbling the lid mockingly. “The dress or the chest?”

“Both, this is like the worst kind of hell imaginable. Or just, like, close the lid on me. For sure. Lemme like, go out all Edgar Allan Poe here. Like for the love of god, Jettresor.”

Stormer placed a hand on Pizzazz's shoulder and, meekly, asked “Hey Pizz, can we talk in private for a second?”

“Stormer, if you've got something to say about the band, you can say it in front of everyone.” Pizzazz shrugged her hand off. “We've all been pretty garbage about communication lately, and we need to work on that.”

_Well, mostly. I'm still quite happy keeping you all in the dark on somethings. ...except Stormer, I guess. I can't believe Stormer knew about Jem before I did. What other secrets are you even keeping?_

“Yeah Mary, we're like, one big family, like we said before. You're a Misfit, and we all stick together and share everything. Right Jetta?” Roxy put an arm around Jetta shoulder, but continued wiggling the lid for Clash's chest with her free hand.

“Right. Misfits power!”

Blaze gave a nod. “Misfits power?”

“Like, Misfits power, totally.” Came from within the chest.

“You're not a Misfit, Trash. You're our groupie. The new groupie. ...You're Clash's Clash! Clash, you have a Clash!” Roxy said all too gleefully, almost letting the lid fall onto Trash's legs in her excitement.

“Goodie.” Clash said flatly. “Trash, how terrible are you at taking coffee orders? Because that's your life from now on.”

A noise of indifference came back from within the chest, followed by “For sure.”

“Well, the thing is... After we're done with this tour, Kimber and I wanted to try to do something again. ...Together.”

_Oh. ...I should have expected that. You'd done it before, you weren't even dating yet at the time. ...Were you? You told me you were only dating for six months at the time. How do I know you two hadn't been secretly seeing each other for even longer?_

“Well, you aren't -quitting- the Misfits, right? You're just doing a side thing?” Roxy walked over to Stormer, leaving only Jetta to keep the lid of the chest up.

“I'd never leave you guys! I just, I wanna try out some things on my own. We both play keytar, we both play guitar, we both have some ideas about songwriting... And I mean Kimber said you and Jem were talking about doing the same after the tour.”

_Fucking hell, Kimber. Do you have to spread everything you hear? ...I wonder if Stormer ever told her about me, that I'm... ...No, Stormer would never do that. Stormer knows I'd kick her ass._

“Ywot? Pizz, you been plannin' on doin' some girly girly duet with little miss perfect?”

Pizzazz huffed, crossed her arms, and turned her head away from her bandmates. “Nobody said anything about it being girly girly. So what if I want to do a project with Jem?”

_And so what if it is softer. I can be soft. I could be soft if I wanted. Even when I'm soft my performance is fucking powerful._

“Nothin' wrong with it. Just wish you'd said somethin'. Me and Rox talkin' 'bout it ourselves. I could go back to my sax, Rox can do drums, just would be out a bassist 'for we do a little jazz act.”

_We were all thinking this? ...Are we all as burnt out as me? Is this my fault for disconnecting from everyone this year?_

“Like, don't tell me, Blaze and Clash is gonna start a band too, like. For sure, Blaze plays the guitar while Clash wails like a banshee and clacks her cymbals toge- feisigh do thoin fein!” Trash let out an ear shattering screech and a stream of swears that Pizzazz had never once heard before as Jetta released her hold on the chest's lid, sending it falling on Trash's knees as she lay inside.

“What was that, Trash!? Something about 'wailing like a banshee'?!” Clash gloated.

_Maybe I should go ahead and get Techrat's measurements, just in case._

 

 

 

“Why did we bring her again?” Asked Shana, adjusting her purple bathing suit as she stepped out of the Rockin' Roadster. “I've never heard someone gripe so much.”

_Well I'm sorry if I don't like being crammed into one car with so many people. At least the Misfits van is nice and roomy. And fabulous looking... except for the backwards lettering on one side. Thank you very much, Roxy._

“She let me go to the little Misfits celebration, it's only fair I bring her to ours.” Jem hugged around Pizzazz's shoulders. “And she gets crankier when I leave her on her own too long.”

_I... I do not! I'm fine on my own! I'm not cranky!_

“You two are sickeningly cute, you're going to give me a cavity at some point.” Shana rolled her eyes. “Stormer, you're fine though.”

There had been some matter of debate before they left Starlight House, where they would go to celebrate finishing recording of their new album. Much to Stormer's displeasure, but to Kimber's delight, they had ended up deciding on a group trip to the beach.

_Poor Stormer... you don't have a backbone in your body, I know there'll be more beach trips in your future. ...I wonder if there's anything I hate that Jerrica loves. Besides The Holograms. We'll never see eye to eye on that one._

“I just hope that girl's fine. I've never heard a person make sounds like that.” Stormer fidgeted a bit, before getting a harsh pat on the back from Pizzazz.

“She'll be fine, said nothing felt broken, and Roxy and Jetta are looking after her. Right now we concentrate on us. Or you two. Concentrate on Kimber, because we're off work.”

“Yeah but-”

Pizzazz put a finger to Stormer' slips. “We're off. Work. I need this!”

She had intended for the day to be a twenty four hour vacation from everything, and only got everyone together at Eric's house to do a quick wardrobe test. She hadn't expected any questions over the future of the band, and she certainly didn't think the day would end with anyone literally being carried off.

_We'll be fine... We can just take a year break after this. End the eighties with some side projects, then reunite to see what the 90's bring. ...1990. That's a terrifying thought. Think pleasant thoughts, Pizzazz. You're out in the sun, you look hot as hell, Jem looks amazing in that bikini... ...Okay scale that one back a bit. But, you look hot as hell._

“I don't think she heard a word of that, she's staring at your whole... chest area.” Kimber waved a hand in front of Pizzazz, snapping her back to reality.

“I, huh? What?” Pizzazz blinked.

“I was saying... come help me find us a place close to the water. I'm going to grab a few things from the basket, if you'll take a couple of towels and umbrella.” Jem grinned, blushing. “Though I'm glad my swimsuit meets your approval.”

_I need to stop doing that... focus, Pizzazz. Be aware of your surroundings. Don't ogle your girlfriend's funbags in public. ...I wonder if she's ever ogled mine. I wonder if anyone has. It's always my legs, all anyone compliments is my legs. I'm more than just legs, I'm-_

“Yeah she's just doing it again.” Kimber patted Pizzazz's back. “You have complete power over her, sis. Just remember with great power comes great responsibility.”

“I- I was just... thinking! I can think! I'm allowed to think to myself!”

“Thinking about my sister's rack...”

“I-... I was... I. LEGS!”

Jem blushed even deeper and hid her face behind her hands. “All I wanted to know was what sandwich you wanted!”

“I... I was thinking about my legs! I-... you... grrrr!” Pizzazz threw her arms up in the air. “Surprise me! I'll... I'll go stick an umbrella somewhere!” She grabbed two towels from the backseat and rolled them up under her arm, then took an umbrella with her as she stomped off to sea.

“I hope that wasn't a euphemism!” Kimber shouted after her, cackling.

_I'll... I'll... I'll show them all! Ooh, she will get it. I'll. ...find a crab. I'll put a damn crab on you, Kimber. I will fucking give you CRABS! I will... ...wait. No, no. Not the, not the right words. Put sand in her sandwich! Kick sand in her face! MAKE HER EAT SAND! I'll... I'll..._

Pizzazz angrily impaled her umbrella into the sand just six feet from the tide. She unrolled the towels, one pink and one blue, and stretched them out beneath the umbrella before popping it open. _She certainly has a thing about keeping to colors... Am I this bad? No, no of course not. I don't think I own a single green piece of clothing. ...except underwear. But nobody would know that except her anyway. ...not even Clash or Trash, come to think of it._

“You know, she's starting to get used to you, I think.” Jem came over, carrying a small bag over her shoulder. “You shouldn't take her too seriously, she only makes fun of people directly like that when she's comfortable around them. ...except for Stormer. She'll fight anyone that makes fun of Stormer.”

_I could take her. Hell, I -have- taken her. I could take any of you... except Aja. Aja scares me. I've seen Aja beat the shit out of Eric's goons._

Pizzazz eyed Jem up and down, taking in the pink and black polka dot two piece. “Think you're pink enough there, princess? So many of your outfits, your hair, your socks, your underwear, your headbands...” _Those luscious lips..._

“Do so many of your outfits need to be black and white?” Jem smirked and ran a finger down the front of Pizzazz's black and white swimsuit. “At least I've got some color. But if you're complaining, I could go put on something else...”

“No, no! Pink is fine... pink is good.” _Fuck... maybe she does have a power over me._ “And I wear plenty of color! I just happy to like high contrast.”

Pizzazz sighed in defeat and laid down on one of the towels, propping herself up with her elbows. “So what are the other Holotwerps doing?”

“I think Kimber's going to try to make Stormer swim with her. Aja went to grab a fish taco back at the pier... if I know Raya and Shana, they're going to try to get us to do some volleyball once Aja's eaten.” Jem laid down next to her, laying out the bag between them. “I was about to say we'd have equal number for once, now that you're here with us, but Stormer makes seven.”

_Somewhere there's a horrible joke I could make about one of the only straights here craving fish tacos._

“Stormer wouldn't join anyway. She doesn't have a competitive bone in her body.”

Pizzazz lifted a handle of the bag up to peek inside. “So what did you bring, anyway? I see... sandwiches, sunglasses, ...ah-ha!” Pizzazz pulled out a bottle of sunscreen lotion. “Always important. What'd you pick, anyway?” She popped open the top and squirted a wad of it into her hand. _Last thing I need is a bad sunburn tomorrow, I have to look my best for the video._

“Well, I'm still trying to get a feel for your likes and dislikes, but I think I'm starting to get a pretty good grasp on things... Is peanut butter and jelly fine?”

_Don't doubt yourself, princess. I would have accepted a fluffernutter, but jelly is good too. ...god I'm 27 years old and I think I'm eating the same junk she makes for the Starlight kids._

Pizzazz caught Jem staring at her hands as she smeared the sunscreen on her palms, a look of disappointment on her face. _The hell is up with her? ...Oh. Ohhhh. Shit. Right. Be a girlfriend, Pizzazz. Be helpful._

“Flip over, I'll get your back.” Pizzazz tried her best to say it gently, but it still came out as a gruff order. “I can't have you getting burned now, can I?”

“I, oh. I just, I thought you were using too much of that at much. But... ...sure, why not.” Jem shrugged and rolled onto her stomach. “No funny business!”

_The hell is that supposed to mean? I've been on my best behavior! ...Mostly!_

Pizzazz tugged at the back of Jem's bikini top, undoing it effortlessly. “And I thought you liked my funny business! Just lay back, listen to the sound of the waves, and maybe just maybe I won't eat your sandwich when you inevitably fall asleep.” She slowly massaged her palms up and down Jem's back and arms, kneading into the muscle after a few passes.

“Mmm... Hey, I don't always fall asleep during your massages.” Jem let out a soft moan as Pizzazz started working the back and sides of her neck. “It's... mm. Your fault for doing them too well. Take it as a compliment.”

In recent days it had become Pizzazz's sure fire way of both making Jerrica feel better at night, and get her to come to bed early. _I just have to be sure none of the others ever find out about this... Of all the talents I have, this ranks up there with singing country music._

“Maybe I should get Clash to lend me her bracelets sometime. Every time you start to doze off on me, I can just clash them together.”

“You didn't hear me complaining any of those nights where -you- fell asleep on -me-.” Jem wiggled underneath Pizzazz. “I think my back's gotten enough attention, I can't have my legs bet burned now can I?”

_You know, if you had made the mistake of trusting me to do this a year ago, I would have just drawn a dick on your back with the lotion. You're lucky._

“So complainy, princess. Maybe I should complain twice as much when you do me.”

“And who says I need to do you?”

_Oooh... You. Maybe I'm going to be a bad influence on you yet._

 

 

 

The ball slammed hard against her nose, with such an intensity that it bounced right back off and back over the net.

“I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!” Kimber shouted, leaping up and down on the sand in a panic.

“Pizzazz! Are you okay? Oh my god, honey...”

“I'm sorry! I didn't... I got too aggressive! I just, I didn't think it'd hit you!”

Pizzazz sat back on her ass, hands covering her face as she let out a stream of swears and curses under her breath, tears streaming out.

_My face, oh my god my face. It's on fire. Everything feels like it's burning. Holy crap what the hell even was that._

They had managed to talk both Pizzazz and Stormer into a volleyball game at sunset, against Stormer's protestations. Jem, Pizzazz, Shana, and Raya against Kimber, Stormer, and Aja. Kimber had claimed that all she really needed on her side was Aja to beat the four of them, and for the most part she had been proven right as the score was heavily in 'Stormber Team's favor.

Everyone seemed to be having fun, even Stormer eventually got into the spirit of the game with some assistance. Everyone, that is, except Pizzazz, who grew increasingly frustrated with each of her teammates for holding her back.

“Way to go, princess!” She had even yelled sarcastically at Jem after she had got in her way while lunging to keep the ball in the air.

_I could take Kimber one on one, hell I could take Kimber -and- Aja. Why can't you all watch where the hell you're going!?_

Quickly after that, the game had gone sour, more heated, more intense. Stormer had tried to back out after Pizzazz had spiked the ball right by her head, but Kimber had pleaded with her to stay, so they could wipe the smile off her face.

“Pizzazz, it's just a game. Relax.” Jem had tried to tell her, only moments before Kimber spiked the ball right into the center of Pizzazz's face.

_Oh god why didn't I listen. Did my head explode?_

Jem now stood over Pizzazz, hunched over and trying to pull her hands from her face. “I think you broke her nose! Come on green bean, I need to see how bad it is.”

_It's horrible! I don't need you to see it, I don't need to see it, I can feel it!_

“Is she okay!?” Kimber ran over her with Stormer in tow, trying to get a close look at the damage she had done.

Jem finally managed to pry Pizzazz's hands off her face, holding them away from her as she got in close to get a look. “It's... it could be worse, Pizzazz.”

“Worse!? My face is gushing blood and you tell me it could be worse!?”

“Well, I mean it doesn't look -good-... this is going to sting, but I need to see if it's broken.”

_What do you mean see see if it's bro-_ ”Fucking—glamour!”

Kimber and Stormer exchanged a confused glance. “...Glamour?”

“Don't... don't ask. It's broken, Pizzazz. But the bleeding's already stopped. I just, we need to get you some ice, alright? Can one of you grab some ice in a bag while I get her back in the car?”

_You broke my nose... you broke my fucking nose! The hell did I ever do to you!? ...Oh. Wait. ...Right. All of... all of that. Well what did I do this month!?_

“Pizzazz, are you alright to walk? You don't feel dizzy, do you? Any swelling feeling?”

_I feel a swelling anger, Jem. I feel dizzy with rage. I feel like I'm going to wad your sister up into a ball and slam her hard into the ground, I feel like-_

“Hon, I think it's cute whenever you space out, but now is not the time. How are you feeling? We can carry you to the car if you need us need to.”

Pizzazz groaned and shrugged her arms out of Jem's grip. “I'm okay, it just hurts like hell! Just... back off, I'll be fine.”

“You aren't fine, Pizzazz. We need to get you looked at... Aja, you take the keys. I'm going to get a cab and take Pizzazz to the hospital.” Jem tugged at Pizzazz's arm, trying to get her to stand. “Please, get up.”

Pizzazz shrugged away again, choosing to stand up on her own. “I'm fine! Sheez, princess. Do I worry this much over you?”

“You cried that one time you accidentally elbowed me in the face, and you've been surprisingly gentle with me overall, even when I tell you not to be.”

_I... I hit you with my elbow pretty hard! You looked upset! ...You startled me! I... It's hard to get used to not being supposed to hurt you! Your face gets in my way a lot!_

“I've got ice!” Kimber shook a plastic bag full of it overhead. “Is she gonna be okay? I really didn't mean to hit her, I didn't think she'd dive in front of it like that.”

Pizzazz yanked the bag from out of Kimber's hands and, struggling not to flinch away from pain, placed the bag against her nose. _I didn't dive in front of it! I just... I had to stop it from hitting the ground, didn't I!? ...and I think I did. I think I scored with my face!_

“She'll be fine, I just need to get her to a doctor. Kimber, go with the others, Shana's driving you all back to Starlight. “

“Can Stormer stay?”

Jem shrugged. “Kimber, we both know that even if for some reason I said no, we'd still catch Stormer trying to sneak out at the crack of noon when you two got up. Why do you even ask?”

“Stormer, I swear to god if you fuck her after she ruined my face, Trash and I won't be the only casualties of the day.”

Jem hugged her around the waist with one arm as she led her away from the beach and the other Holograms and out to the street, her's and Pizzazz's purses clutched tightly under her other arm. “Your face isn't ruined, green bean. It's just... well. Red, and swollen. We just need to make sure that nothing is seriously hurt in there, I need you to be alright...”

_But I can't -look- red and swollen! Tomorrow's the day of the video! I'm a fierce warrior queen! I don't think 'volleyball to the face' falls under the category of acceptable battle wounds for a medieval setting. Nobody ever loaded a trebuchet full of volleyballs._

 

 

 

“It itches like hell.”

“Well, don't scratch it. Pizzazz, seriously, no. Stop trying to scratch a-Seriously no!” Jerrica pinned Pizzazz's hands down against the bed to stop her from yet again causing herself pain. “I swear I'm going to have to tie your hands to the bed posts at this rate.”

Pizzazz smirked. “Don't pretend you wouldn't get a kick out of that, princess.”

“Like you wouldn't.” Jerrica sighed, more in irritation than anything, and released her hands again. “Just, please, leave it be okay? The doctor said you need to keep that on for at least a week, preferably two.”

_The doctor said a lot of things, princess. Do you really think I'm going to follow even half of them? I know what's best for me!_

Jerrica had a hard time even keeping Pizzazz there while they were at the hospital. Twice during the wait she had gotten up to 'get snacks' only to be caught trying to leave. “I hate these places, give me the creeps.” She had said after her first attempt, then proceeded to ignore every plea Jerrica made about her well being.

_You worry too much. I've survived getting stranded on a desert island, getting lost in the Himalayas and poisoned, I even survived karaoke night with Clash! I can survive a little busted nose._

“You baby me too much.” Pizzazz pouted, shifting away from Jerrica. “I can take care of myself, you know! I always have!” _Certainly didn't get much help from dad... or Eric._

Jerrica gave a playful nudge at Pizzazz's shoulder then scooched closer to her. “I know you can. I'm just saying that you don't have to anymore. We look out for each other from here on out, right? When you need help I help you, when I need help you help me. We lean on each other instead of fighting.”

_What if I like fighting. What if I need help fighting? Because fighting helps, cotton candy. Fight helps a lot. Do you realize how amazing you feel after you just scream into someone's face for an hour, then shove your foot through an amplifier? It's -fantastic-! It's bliss!_

“Can I still fight other people?”

Jerrica shrugged. “Do I have to help? I'm not great in a fight but I guess I could hold them while you work their stomach a bit.”

_...Okay I know you're joking, but I think that might be the hottest thing you've ever told me. There may be hope for you yet._

“I see that look on your face! I'm joking! I'm a pacifist, green bean. Aja, sure. Aja will fight someone with you... honestly, so will Kimber probably. Shana, Raya, and myself will just... watch, I guess. And bail you three out.”

“It'd make for an interesting band dynamic. Half fighters, half lovers.”

Jerrica's eyebrow raised. “Did... did you want to be part of the band, Pizz?”

“I, what, no! I'm just speaking hypothetically here, princess! Metaphorically, with similes. You -wish- I was a Hologram.” Pizzazz jerked the pillow out from under Jerrica's head and batted at her with it. “You're only dating me for my musical abilities, aren't you? This has all been a ploy to lure me into your band, not your bed!” She mocked, sticking her tongue out as she moved to pin her blonde haired lover.

“Oh no, you've caught me! My plan has been foiled! I, Jerrica Benton, made love to Pizzazz of the Misfits over and over and over again just so I could have her replace me as a vocalist in my own band! How ever will I live with myself?”

Pizzazz leaned over and nipped at the tip of Jerrica's nose, then slowly repositioned herself so that the whole of her body pressed on top of Jerrica's, releasing her grip on the pillow to press her hands at either side of Jerrica's head.

“I guess you'll just have to keep making love to her anyway. Maybe she'll change her mind someday, if you keep it up.” _I think you'll find that with some... careful persuasion, princess, you could convince me to do anything your heart desires._

Jerrica placed her hands at Pizzazz's hips, gripping them tightly as she held her against herself. “I think I can do that. But how many times do we have to do it just to get you to leave your nose alone?”

“Hmm...” Pizzazz made a face like she was thinking, including exaggerated thinking noises for a few moments. “I'll tell you what. Let's revisit that whole tied to the bedpost point from earlier, and maybe I'll consider it.”

“Fiiiiine.” Jerrica feigned exasperation. “But you'll need to get off of me first, don't you think?”

_Oh come on Pizzazz, you have to have a witty response to that. ...Anything? No? Yes? ...To hell with you, Pizzazz._

Pizzazz flipped onto her back next to Jerrica wiggling against the bed excitedly. “Yaaay!” “You're too cute when you let your good mood show.” Jerrica had to sit up and watch her face for second, taking in the wicked cat-like grin that dominated Pizzazz's face whenever she was genuinely happy.

She sneered in response, “I'm cute all the time, and you know it.”

Jerrica sighed, scooting off to the side of the bed to pull her purse onto her lap. With a bit of digging, she produced two pairs of pink and white fuzzy handcuffs. “Someday, someone's going to find these, and I'm so not prepared to explain anything.”

“Blame it on me. I'm the one that bought them, after all, and I guarantee they'll all believe you.” _I can guarantee they already blame most things on me anyway._

Jerrica seductively crawled over top of Pizzazz, carrying the handcuffs behind, her pink nightie hanging loose. “You sure this is what you want?”

_Oh ye gods yes, more than anything._

Pizzazz excitedly nodded, the handcuffs slipped on her wrists and onto the posts of the backboard. “This is all I want anymore.”

“Good...” Jerrica smiled down at her, flicking her tongue over her lips. “...good night, Pizzazz.” And with that, she pulled the cord on the lamp and plunged the room into darkness.

Pizzazz squirmed a bit. “...Wait, what? Why are the lights off? ...Jerrica?” She felt Jerrica move off from over top of her, then felt her cuddling at her side. “...What's happening?”

“I just wanted to make sure I could get a decent night's sleep without you fiddling with that bandage.”

_You... I..._

“YOU TRICKED ME!”

Jerrica nudged her in the side. “Keep it down, everyone else is asleep. We have a long day ahead of us after all, don't we?”

_Oh you sneaky little... I will... I'll remember this! Mark my words, I'll remember this!_

“Sweet dreams, green bean.”

Pizzazz groaned. “...sweet dreams, cotton candy.”

_You'll pay for this in the morning. Somehow._

 


	14. The Voyage of the Damned

"Jerrica? ...Jerrica, it's time to wake up. Jerrica. Jerrica. Jerrica! JERRICA YOUR PHONE IS RINGING!" Pizzazz did her best to kick her sleeping girlfriend awake, her hands still cuffed to the bed from the night before. "RING RING! RING RING! RING RING!"

It was the second time that morning the phone had rang, though Pizzazz had merely laid there as it rang the first time, assuming Jerrica would eventually get up and answer it of her own volition. It had been half an hour since then, and Jerrica still lay wrapped around Pizzazz's body, fast asleep and snoring cutely.

_She's a heavier sleeper than I am, when she wants to be. Yet she'll continue to mock me each time -I- do this. Such a hypocrite, princess._

The phone stopped ringing again, Jerrica sleeping through the whole of it. A minute later, two quick-fire knocks came at the bedroom door. Before Pizzazz could yell out a warning, there stood Kimber, phone in hand, eyes wide as she took in the scene she had barged into.

“It's not what it looks like!” Pizzazz angrily shouted. “I kept scratching at my broken nose! She got frustrated! She-”

Kimber held up a hand to interrupt her, then spoke into her phone, “Yeah, they're here. I think they tired each other out doing freaky stuff all night. Do I really need to wake them or can I just back away slowly and try to forget I even woke up this morning? ...Wow. Okay you've got it worse. You've... ...-wow-. Like, a streetlight? ...At an intersection. Lost the keys. No, I don't think they're that stupid.” She put the receiver to her shoulder to cover it. “Pizzazz, you're not stupid enough to have lost the key, right?”

_I swear to god, Kimber, if I wasn't handcuffed to this bed right now I would put you in a world of pain that you would never escape from._

Pizzazz felt some wiggling against her, followed by light yawning as Jerrica slowly began to awaken. “Morning, green bean.”

“We have company, dear.” Pizzazz grunted out through clenched teeth.

Jerrica blinked a few times at Pizzazz, then turned and squinted towards the front of the bed. _She's slower to wake up than I am too. Who's like Mads now, princess? Hell, he's been up for longer!_

“I... Kimber! Get out! You can't just-”

Kimber tossed the phone onto the bed. “I'm going! Just pick up the damn phone next time and I won't end up needing to send you my therapy bill!” She shouted behind her as she stepped back out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Jerrica stared at the phone in confusion for a moment, then brought it up to her ear. “Hello? ...Oh, hi Video, sorry. No, no, I just... I had some pleasant dreams, you know how it is, you don't want it to end. Yeah I don't know what Kimber was talking about either. Pick you up? Yeah we can do that. Clash t-... she... oh.” Jerrica palmed the receiver. “Apparently Clash wrecked Video's car and she needs us to pick her up. She's asking if Clash 'needs' to be at the shoot.”

_I... yes? She's the evil sorceress we rescue the princess from! It's her dragon that I slay!_

“Clash is non-negotiable, she needs to be there, and she needs to be in her dress. ...but yes. We can pick her up. Gimme the phone and I'll get Stormer to bring the van over, it's roomy enough we can grab everyone in a single trip.”

_Carpooling, Misfits style. This is what you reduce me to, Jerrica._

“Sorry, Pizzazz says Clash needs to come. ...I understand, Video. I do. I... no I can't really hand it over to her. She's kinda...” _Don't you dare say it, Jerrica. Don't you fucking dare say it, I swear to god I will leave you if you-_ “Tied up at the moment.” Jerrica smiled an almost Grinch-like smile as the words escaped her lips.

_Horrible. You're so horrible._

“She means it literally! I'm handcuffed to her bed!” Pizzazz leaned over as much as she could and screamed into the receiver.

_If you get to make bad puns, I at least get to hurt your image, princess. It's a two way street. ...wait did Clash drive a car into a streetlight?_

Jerrica let loose a nervous laugh. “Oh that's just Pizzazz, being a kidder. Everything's fine, we're all fine here. We're fine. ...Yeah, just let us get some breakfast and we'll see you in a bit. Sounds like we'll all be taking the Misfits van today. ...yeah I can't imagine being excited about that either. I know you said you never wanted to work with them. ...Yes, Pizzazz is an asshole, but I love her.”

_You know for a fact it's why you love me. You've said it yourself, I'm cute when I'm being evil. Hey, at least I haven't wrecked anyone's car!_

“Alright, see you then, bye.” She sat the cordless back onto the bed, propped herself up by her hands, and gave Pizzazz a quick look-over. “So... ...how did -you- sleep?”

Pizzazz smirked. “Oh, fine. Just fine. Had the strangest dream I was hanging up in someone's dungeon being interrogated, but beyond that it was fine. ...Your snoring wasn't enough to keep me up this time. This time.”

_Truthfully, it helped. It's a cute, relaxing sound. You're better than falling asleep listening to the rain. ...I'm glad my hands are still cuffed. It's harder to mock you when hugging you._

“Oooh, was it my dungeon? Was it some kind of sexy interrogation?”

“Was it some kind of-” Pizzazz stopped. _Eh. Why not. Maybe she'll get ideas._ “Yeah, yeah it was your dungeon, princess. This is what you get for pretending to be all kinky last night.”

Jerrica scooched back against the backboard, moving an arm behind Pizzazz so that she could run her fingers through her flopped-over-on-one-side deathhawk. “Mine was sweeter, I think. I dreamed we were still at the beach, but it was just the two of us. We just laid out in the sand, cuddled up and listening to the waves as we watched the sunset. ...then Kimber showed up at the end and broke your nose.”

_...yeah, real sweet dream there, princess. Couldn't have given me a happier ending? You can end a story without traumatic injury, you know._

Pizzazz squirmed, struggling against the handcuffs. “So, how's about unlocking these so we can get some grub? My stomach's growlin' here, princess! Surprised it didn't wake you up while you were using it as a pillow.”

“Maybe it just made you comfier, like one of those vibrating love beds in a cheap motel.”

_I... What is -that- supposed to mean!?_

Pizzazz scowled. “Who you callin' cheap!? I seem to remember someone calling me gourmet pizza last month!”

Jerrica did her best to stifle a giggle. “Oh my god that is right. You remembered! Oh, my little gourmet pizza...” She wrapped her arms tightly around the still-bound Misfit. “All warm and hazardous to my health.”

“I won't be hazardous to your health as long as you unlock the damn handcuffs!” _Or maybe put 'em to better use, princess. I can think of some great ways to start off my day..._

“Oh, what are you going to do? Gripe me to death? I'm so scared, Pizzazz.”

Pizzazz pouted as hard as she could, doing her best to put on a sad dog expression. “Please, princess. Don't you think I've been in these long enough? You should be nicer to your girlfriend.” Her voice was sickeningly sweet, or at least as sickeningly sweet as Pizzazz could maker herself sound. “And we both know you're not mean.”

“Ohhh, but I can be. I've got a good teacher, Pizzazz.” Jerrica kissed her softly on the lips, her finger tips gently brushing her cheeks. “The best around, really. I'll tell you what... I'll make us breakfast, and if you can go the entire time from between now and when we finish eating without griping, maybe I'll give the cuffs a try myself.”

_Maybe you'll what. ...Hmmm. What sounds more appealing. Complaining, or a completely bound Jerrica Benton. ...Decisions, decisions._

_Who am I kidding?_

 

 

 

“I've never heard so much griping over the course of one meal...” Jem mumbled to herself.

_Well I'm sorry! I was achy! I didn't sleep well! Those pancakes were awful and you kept poking my lip with the fork!_

“Is there going to be enough room in here for the whole band, Video, and her equipment, Pizzazz?” Stormer turned her head back as she pulled the van around the corner, entering the suburb where the Montgomery's dwelled. Kimber sat shotgun, a map of the city unfolded across her lap, as she refused to budge from her seat once she had beaten both Pizzazz and Jem to it.

“Don't forget Clash, Techrat, and Trash. We need our pyrotechnics, and presumably we're going to need to drop Trash off at Eric's place so she can get the dragon.”

Jem coughed, adjusting in her seat, “And me, of course. ...11 people in one van sounds like a mess, doesn't it?”

“Here's how it works out. We pick up Blaze, Clash, and Video here. Then we go to Roxy's, pick up her, Jetta, and Trash. We drive to Eric's to drop off Trash, and pick up Techrat. So really we'll only have ten... and Video's equipment. ...and our instruments. Why are we taking Kimber again?”

“Because I'm cute and lovable and I wanna see Stormer in action! Why did you drag -Jem- along?” Kimber happily munched on what Pizzazz assumed was the last of her secret snack pile.

_Because this whole album is about her? Because the entire plot is centered around her? ...and because I have a little something planned for when it ends. This will be a music video that will make music video history, and it can't happen without her there._

Pizzazz smiled into Jem's eyes. “...Inspiration.”

“Aww... you two are so cute sometimes. I remember the first time we had both of you in here at the same time, Pizzazz your head was in her lap the whole time! I wish I had taken a picture...” Stormer stopped the van outside of fairly nice but simple looking single story orange and yellow suburban home. “This is the place right, hon?”

Kimber nodded, “Yeah, it's been awhile but I still remember where she lives.”

_I remember that van ride... God I was such a loser at first. Now here I am, behaving myself like a normal person. I've just... oh god I've been holding her hand this entire ride haven't I?_

Pizzazz looked down at her's and Jem's intertwined fingers. “At least this way I'm not grinding my head between your thighs, eh princess?”

“W-what?” Jem sputtered, Kimber and Stormer both turned to give a look of mild amusement and shock respectively.

_What? What did I-Oh. OH!_ Pizzazz's eyes went wide. “I meant... the first ride! I hurt her legs with my head! ...Fuckin' perverts. Lot of you.”

_I didn't give her the bite till a couple of days later, anyway._

“I remember that... and you were still claiming you were straight. What was it again, Stormer? It doesn't count as gay if they're taller than you?”

_Jerrica, do you really need to have a sister anymore? Keytars are so 1986._

“Kimber, give her a break. I remember you saying some odd things back when you were still pretending to be straight. I believe your favorite excuse was always that you were getting into 'research' for writing, oh and that the covers of all those romance novels only -looked- gay, they just weren't showing the man for reasons.” Jem nudged her sister in the shoulder from behind. “And all of those times you were just being 'really flattering' with your 'compliments' in high school towards other girls...”

Kimber huffed and crossed her arms. “At least -I'm- not the one that tried to date Ellen the Horrible! All the girls I wanted were sweet, you wanted the bimbo that gave you a swirlie!”

_...Bimbo? Who the hell are you calling a bimbo!?_

“...Ellen the Horrible?” Stormer's face turned pale as she looked back towards Pizzazz.

Jem sighed, “...Uhm, Kimber. Maybe a good idea to scale down on the insults about-”

“What? The goblin queen? I was ready to kick her -ass- back then! You were just so excited to ask her out, and then... I'm sorry, that's just been a sore spot for me. At least it got both of us talking about stuff!”

Pizzazz mumbled softly to herself, pouting. _Great. At least I helped -you- out by being horrible._

“Wonder whatever happened to her anyway. Bet she's kicking her own ass, considering how big you are now. She's probably sitting home alone, with like twenty cats, rocking back and forth, saying-”

“I wonder if Rabbit is going to mind if I tie her sister to the van for the duration of the day?” Pizzazz cut her off.

Kimber raised an eyebrow. “How'd you know-” Suddenly she was as pale in the face as Stormer. She coughed, “I... ...Phyllis has a better ring to it than Ellen I guess?”

“It was Phyllis before Ellen, then Pizzazz. ...Stormer gave me the name Pizzazz.”

“Actually, I told you to pick a name with more pizzazz, when you told me to pick a name that was loud and fierce.”

_And you chose -Stormer-. ...Honestly your name works out better than mine does. Pizzazz lacks the edge I thought it would at the time. Why the hell does the softest Misfit have the fiercest name? Oh, sorry, second softest... timid Blaze. Obviously I should just call myself Cuddlesworth._

Kimber gritted her teeth. “So, sis... you actually ended up with your high school crush. That's... outrageous, right? ...I'm sorry for the bimbo remark.”

“Oh, sure, it's fine. You break my nose and call me a bimbo in the space of twenty-four hours.” Pizzazz took a deep breath, arched her back, and screamed out, “I'll have you know I was an honors student my entire school life! I was SMART! I was talented! I was on the DEBATE team! I did so many musicals and plays I can't even begin to list them off! I can speak three languages!”

“You made for a cute Pirate King, too.”

“And I made for a-” _...Jerrica saw that? ...Oh god Jerrica saw that. The fucking rabbit went to see me on stage, didn't she? Oh god. This entire time since Jerrica realized that was me... ...I can't sing in front of her anymore. All she's going to picture is that!_ “I... thank you, princess.” Pizzazz blushed, hunching over herself in her seat.

Jem scooted closer and nuzzled her head against Pizzazz's shoulder. “I... might have taken the opportunity to see you whenever you were part of a show. Kimber can vouch for that.”

“I can vouch for the fact that 'cat-like tread' certainly sum up you guys's sex life...” Kimber grumbled.

Stormer began enthusiastically clapping, “Wait... oh my god that was Jerrica! The entire time! You were in love with Jerrica in high school, and now you're high school sweethearts reunited! Oh my gosh that's so adorable! Kimber, you should have heard Pizzazz rant about her back when we first met...”

_No you shouldn't have!_

“I think I want to hear this myself.” Jem kissed at Pizzazz's cheek.

_OH NO YOU DON'T!_

“There's nothing to say! I just, I might have found you attractive at the time, and I told Stormer some things assuming full confidentiality!”

Stormer cleared her throat, then in her best Pizzazz impression began, “Do you think I'd taste all of that metal when we made out? Would I hurt my tongue? Do you think those braces would stop her from eati-”

“I DIDN'T WORD IT LIKE THAT! I just asked if having braces would make it harder for -anyone- to do certain things! Like that!” Pizzazz's face shifted to the same color as Kimber's hair as she angrily grabbed onto the head of Stormer's seat with her free hand. “None of them were specific! I could have been talking about a boy with braces!”

Stormer snorted. “Pizzazz, remember who you're talking to. I knew deep down you were gay back then, just like I knew I was. Honestly I was always disappointed you never made a move on me, but I thought I was too young for you. ...until Clash, I guess.”

_Why did everyone assume I was so gay in high school? What the hell did I do that just screamed gay!? I never assumed any of you were gay! Except Clash, obviously, but Clash wasn't exactly subtle. Nobody's ever tried that hard to get into my pants before._

“Yeah, speaking of, can we get out of this van and go grab her and the others already? We've been parked here for awhile now and I seem to remember that we still have like three other stops to make?” Jem let go of Pizzazz's hand and popped open the sliding door to hop out.

 

 

 

“So, you went over all of my notes, right?”

Video scrunched her mouth over to one side, looking to Jem to her left before leaning forward and looking to the opposite side of the van towards Pizzazz. “I feel like notes is a misnomer, but yes. I mostly understood the basics of what you wanted, and Clash helped fill in some blanks.”

Clash popped her head forward from the row of seats behind them, “I think I understood your notes, Pizzazz! I don't worry, you're in good hands!”

“Considering we're all packed into this van because of your 'good hands', I'm not sure they should feel relieved to hear you say that.” Video turned back to stare down her cousin.

They had just barely managed to shove all of Video's gear behind the third row of seats. Clash and Blaze had taken the furthest back seat, with Pizzazz, Jem, and Video filling out the middle row behind Stormer and Kimber.

Stormer had jokingly suggested that two people would have to on laps for them to still make room for Roxy, Jetta, and Trash. Before Pizzazz could 'jokingly' accept, Blaze had enthusiastically offered to do so, illiciting a groan from Clash.

“This is what I've been dealing with this whole time.” Video had griped. “And much... much worse. I've gotten far too much of a glimpse into my cousin's... interests.”

“It's not my fault you never knock!”

“How do you knock on a backyard, Clash!? How!? Am I supposed to knock when entering my own front door!?”

_I shouldn't be surprised, really. All of those times I caught her flying solo in my apartment... hell, even the Gabor Estate. I can't imagine living with that. Poor Blaze. I mean at least Jerrica and I wait until it's really late, or we lock a door behind us. Neither of us stretch out in someone else's living room with big headphones on and just start-_

“So that'll be fine, right?” Video asked.

_...Fuck, how long was she talking? I need to stop doing this._

Pizzazz nodded. “Yeah, sure. I trust Jem, and Jem trusts you. I trust Clash, and I'm assuming she trusts you?”

“Blaze trusts Video, I trust Blaze. So if you trust my trust in Blaze's trust, you can trust Video.”

_That... answers absolutely nothing. Thank you, Clash. Your input, as always, is invaluable._

Pizzazz shifted uncomfortably in her seat for a moment. “Then yeah, sure. I'm sure you two combined will make a better director than Eric ever did.” _Not that that's saying much... remember the gumballs, Pizzazz? If you didn't already hate gumballs enough, that moron had to take it that much further._

“I'm just glad you're willing to help out a charity with all of this. Wasn't exactly expecting a yes to all of that... maybe Jem was right, maybe you have changed.” Video sighed and turned to look out the passenger-side window towards the front of the van. “It's nice, you know, that you two came out on TV. If younger people see that you can be gay and successful at the same time...”

_Wait, what did I agree to? ...Oh god damn it Pizzazz, this is why you need to pay attention more. What the hell did you do!? What did you agree to!? Fucking hell!_

“I mean for the longest time the only out person I ever knew was my cousin, and... well, no offense Clash, but your life hasn't exactly been inspiring to me. ...also I think Blaze is the only person you've ever dated that I've been able to stomach. What was that one I kept thinking was a guy all the way up until I caught you two in our pool?”

Clash blushed and turned to face the side of the van, hiding her face. “I regret Trash, alright? At least I actually -had- girlfriends, while you just pined for a bunch of stuck up chicks and never told anyone!”

“I... ...well, thank you, Clash. I wanted to come out in my own way, but, thank you. Jem, this is why this project is special to me, and why I'll drop my no-Misfits policy for the video and the tour, as long as Pizzazz keeps up her pledge. I'm a lesbian, and my cousin is a horrible, spoiled brat.”

Clash groaned. “Big whoop! Everyone in this van is gay, everyone we're picking up is gay! ...Well, except Techrat, I don't even know what Techrat is. I don't want to know.”

“That still doesn't give you the right to out anyone else! I seem to remember a certain someone refusing to go to school for a week because someone outed them!”

“Well... that was different! That was high school! You try being openly gay in a Midwestern high school!”

Jem cleared her throat. “I'd like to state for the record, I'm bi. I can't really speak for everyone we're picking up.” _You're bi as much as Jerrica is a separate person. I've gone through that diary, princess._ “Either way, Clash, you should apologize. Nobody has the right to out anyone else. Nobody knows the right time to reveal a secret about someone except for that person.”

_You're just talking about the whole dual identity thing, aren't you? I swear to god if you're implying they're even remotely the same I will... ...I'll. ...Fucking hell, am I already at a point where I can't even think mean things about you? I just... guh. I just... I wanna grab you and make you eat dirt! There! Yes! Victory!_

“Right, Pizzazz?”

“You're god damn right!” Pizzazz shouted triumphantly.

_Wait. ...Oh damn it I was being asked something again._

Video gave a shrug. “I wasn't expecting Pizzazz to so enthusiastically agree with me, especially against Clash. ...Thanks, I guess.”

“Fine! I'm sorry! It's not like you haven't revealed details about me to people that didn't need to be knowing about them!”

“Clash, you've revealed -parts- of yourself to people that didn't need to know about them!” Video shouted back.

“NOT INTENTIONALLY! You're just... unlucky! And that house isn't meant for three people!”

“Then explain to me the whole streetlight accident. Please. I'm all ears what your excuse for that one was. Blaze, don't you dare help her.”

_Oh come on now you're just being unfair._ “Look, Clash has her issues, but don't you think that's kind of a traumatic thing to attack her over?”

Clash's face went beet red. “I... you know what happened?”

“It's why we're picking you all up, isn't it? I mean, it happens. I've done it myself before, twice even! Stormer was there, she can back me up on this. The last thing anyone wants it to be yelled at because of it!”

Video's jaw dropped, Blaze hid her head in shame, and Clash began pounding her head into the back of Video's seat.

“Pizzazz, what the hell are you even talking about?” She grumbled between head pounds.

“You... ...drove into a streetlight and wrecked Video's car?”

In unison Clash, Video, and Blaze all shouted “NO!”

_Well... Nobody told me!_ “...Well what -did- happen!?”

“For the love of god nobody tell her!” Clash threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

Blaze kept her head buried, letting out a muffled “Fine with me.”

_And this is why I'm forever in the dark on thees things._

“Was anyone -hurt- at least!? I need to know these things now that we're all working together!”

Blaze looked up and sneered at Clash, Clash just shrugged and said “I got really cold, and my wrists hurt. That's about it.”

“Did it even involve Video's car?!”

“For crying out loud it didn't involve a car! Video's car is fine, we're all fine! It's just... in the shop, for a few days!” Clash screamed up to the roof of the van, loud enough to startle Stormer and briefly cause the van to veer. She looked around at everyone else in the van staring at her, then blushed. “...Please, I mean. Let's... let's talk about other things... like...”

Pizzazz reached over Jem and gave Video's shoulder a nudge. “So, got any big plans?”

“Well, I... I've met someone, but I haven't really told them, or come out to them yet, or-”

“...for the video, Video. Our video. Not. ...not you, our video. The...” _Why couldn't you have an easier name to fit into conversations!? Stop being video, Video! You can't just name yourself after what you do! I'm not Singer! Jem isn't Do-Gooder! Clash isn't... …okay you've got me on Clash. But I mean Blaze isn't on fire, Trash doesn't collect garbage... Oh god wasn't one of the Holotwerp assistants named -Danse-? And she -danced-!?_

“-and that's about it. For everything else, I need to work out a few more details with your artists. I've been talking to one on the phone thanks to Clash, but she keeps telling me that some details are under wraps until today. ...funny sounding chick. Wasn't able to get in touch with her yesterday or today, though.”

_Oh damn it I missed her talking again. Stop being unworthy of my attention so I can focus on you!_

“Yeah, I think Clash broke her knees yesterday, before Kimber broke my nose.”

Kimber and Clash both huffed and sighed in irritation, “It was an accident!” “It wasn't my fault, I just laughed when Jetta did it!”

“This... this is why I didn't want to work with The Misfits, Jem. Violence just follows them around. What poor soul have you guys handicapped now?” Video turned back to eye Clash.

“It was only Trash! You remember, the neighbor girl. You would have laughed too!”

Video thought for a second. “...The pale one? Why does she talk like a valley girl now? I remember her being very Irish.”

Blaze sighed and raised her hand. “It's me, it was my fault. It was funny at the time! I didn't think she'd seriously keep talking like that years down the line! How the hell did she even manage to keep it up without us around her doing it too?!”

“Wait, artists? Are there two artists? Do we have to make another stop?” Stormer asked.

Video shrugged. “Trash mentioned that it was a collaboration on her end, something about a graphic artist?”

_First I'm hearing about this, but that's the theme of the year isn't it? Pizzazz hears all things late._

“I guess we'll find out when we get to Roxy and Jetta's, since they've been keeping her there since the incident.” Pizzazz grumbled to herself. _I swear to god Jerrica if you're this annoying to work with..._

 

 

 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE HER!?”

Pizzazz lept out of the well-cushioned loveseat with such a force that she knocked over Jem in the process.

“I... we... she said she was fine and she had to do some more stuff in private, so she had someone pick her up. She walked out of here just fine, so I'm assuming she's okay.” Roxy sat awkwardly in the recliner adjacent to her, trying to keep her attention on the TV.

“Does she even know where we're going!? She needs to be at the park in the next hour! We can't film without the giant fire-breathing metal dragon she promised!”

Roxy shrugged. “I think she has a bunch of your 'notes' still. Oh, oh. Actually she left one of her own in the fridge. Jetta! Bring the fridge note!”

“Get off your arse and get it yourself!” Jetta back shouted from the kitchen. “I'm not leaving here till I've made my sandwich!”

Pizzazz had already found herself increasingly uncomfortable inside of the couple's home. It was spacious, tidy, well-maintained, and nothing like Pizzazz would have expected from her bandmates. Even the bungalow Stormer had once lived in at least was covered in clutter and was decorated as befitting a Misfit. The white walls, beige carpeting, and bland furniture all seemed too... _Suburban, they've gone full suburban! Half of my band, up and domesticated, just like that!_

“So how long have you two lived here?” Jem asked sweetly, trying to pull her angry partner back down on the loveseat with her.

Roxy got out of her seat and made her way into the kitchen, shouting behind her “About eight months now! Before this Jetta and I just alternated staying at our own apartments, worried about Pizzazz catching on!”

“Yet she never did! You were able to keep your relationship a secret for how long now?”

_Oh yeah, rub it in my face, princess. I believe you were the one that missed out on me being gay all this time! Who is the oblivious one now!? ...Both of us! Fuck._

“Little over two years now!” Jetta shouted. “It was kinda love at first sight, right? ...they can't hear you nodding, love!”

“Oh! Right! Yeah! ...Basically, we both fell for each other right off the bat, but Jetta didn't make a move until after I got back from my whole... 'flee to Pennsylvania with my lotto winnings' thing.” Roxy came back out, wielding a bacon sandwich in one hand and a note in the other. “Right the night after I got back, even.”

“Oi! Who said one of those were yours?! Maybe I made two for myself!” Jetta followed out, angrily shaking her own bacon sandwich. “And I felt I basically had to! Otherwise she might have left again and never come back. Couldn't have that happen now, could I?”

Roxy leaned forward, both hands still full, and pressed her lips to Jetta's in a quick kiss. “ Like you haven't been making an extra sandwich each time just for me!”

“Maybe I just haven't made a complaint yet despite how long you've been eating my sandwiches.” Jetta nipped at Roxy's nose. “You're cute, though. I can forgive you.”

_What have the suburbs done to them!? This isn't the Roxy and Jetta I know! They used to fight! And argue! They used to..._

Pizzazz turned to see the look on Jem's face, hunched over, eyes wide, the biggest smile on her face as she stared at the cute couple, giddy as could be. “Oh my, you two are the cutest! I never would have expected!”

_Don't encourage them, Jerrica! This is so not Misfits behavior!_

“Yeah, can't imagine what it's like having to shack up with Pizzazz. I figure even snogging her is probably aggressive as hell.”

“Oh no, she's actually really tender when she's being affectionate, she's like a kitten honestly. This one time-”

Pizzazz lept out of her seat again. “No, no! No more! We need to get going. We still need to pick up Techrat and all of Trash's gear from Eric's.”

“Also we kinda left everyone else in the van... I really hope Clash and Video haven't killed each other yet. It's awfully cramped in that van...”

 

 

 

Pizzazz scowled in Jem's lap, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist as a sort of seatbelt.

After picking up Techrat, they had all been forced to rearrange seating. Stormer and Kimber remained at the front. Jem, Video, and Techrat took the front row, with Pizzazz having to sit in Jem's lap, while the back row was filled out by Roxy, Jetta, and Blaze who had been quite content to cuddle Clash in her lap.

“So you're sure this friend of Trash's knows where to go?” Pizzazz grumbled towards Techrat.

“I gave them the directions myself, both have a printout.”

Clash leaned forward, poking her head over the seats. “Wait... both? Why would both of them need a printout?”

“Well, the blonde one was driving her own car, with all of the gear in it. The bald one, Trash, was driving 'the dragon' to the park herself, apparently. I didn't get to see it, but from all of the things she requested I'm very eager to see the results.”

Clash smacked her forehead. “Great, just great.”

“What's wrong with that? Is she bad with directions?” Pizzazz shifted nervously. _I can't have this whole thing get ruined just because Roxy and Jetta couldn't babysit!_

“She's legally blind when she's not wearing her contacts, and she's rarely wearing her contacts.”

_So that's why my 'disguise' worked so well on her back then. And here I was just happy to have fooled someone. ...wait. Oh dear god._ “So... whatever this dragon is, it's being driven by someone who probably shouldn't be driving anything?”

“From what little I've seen, I think she's turned a car into a sort of tank, with a dragon built around that. Exact details I can't give you, but it's certainly very large and it used to be a car at some point. I heard it drive away from Eric's about half an hour before you arrived.”

_Great, just great. Watch her just cause a big accident instead, and it all gets blamed on me! The one time I'm trying not to be destructive!_

“Yeah... yeah it's a car alright. It still has some unobscured windows up front, so some degree, but she's not the right person to be driving it, Pizzazz.” Clash sank back against Blaze, head tilted down in shame as a blush crept across her face. “I've seen it. Well, I've seen her plans.”

“Rat guy, don't you have some way of like, calling her?” Roxy asked.

Techrat sneered. “How would I even begin to do that? She has a walkie talkie, but her friend has the other one, so we won't know how Trash is driving until we meet up with her.”

“Great, just great. This is all Eric's fault! It was his idea we hire her in the first place! All because he's too damn cheap for his own good!” Pizzazz punched the back of Stormer's seat, illiciting a startled noise from her. “When I get my hands on him, I swear to god I'll...”

“Looks like you've got nothing to worry about, Pizzazz.” Stormer said as she stopped a few feet from the park. “Look!”

Pizzazz arched an eyebrow, then slide open the side door and poked her head out look ahead. Her jaw dropped as she took in the metal monstrosity ahead of her.

It had once been a car alright, but now almost every inch of that was covered in steel plating. Atop that, stretched out on its stomach, wings stretched out and mouth agape, was her dragon. With wingspan included it was three times wider than the van it had been attached to, and twice as long with the tail in the back. The entire thing had been painted red, with yellow stripes and spots decorating.

“Is that what you wanted, Pizzazz?” Asked Stormer.

_It's everything I wanted, Stormer. I just have to hope it breathes fire like she said it would._

“It'll do.” Pizzazz snorted. “If only it was bigger.”

She hopped out of the van, freeing herself from Jem's embrace, and ran over to give the dragon a closer look. The teeth were white and quite sharp looking, but the eyes seemed to lack any color at all. _I guess they forgot that detail... no matter, it still looks amazing._

“So where is Trash?” Jem asked as she caught up, peeking around the area around the dragon. “Or her friend, for that matter.”

“Well, you see, like. That's a funny story, for sure, like.” Trash's voice echoed from inside the metal monster. “And like, I'd love to tell you all about it, but like. I don't think you're gonna wanna, like, hear it.”

_Oh don't you dare ruin this for me, I swear I'll ring your little..._

“Why don't you come out and tell us, then?” Pizzazz growled through clenched teeth. “Maybe tell us where our gear is, and why I wasn't informed anyone else was working on this project?”

“Well, like, that's the thing. I kinda, like... can't? I'm kinda like, stuck. I'm totally stuck in this dragon.”

“What do you mean -stuck-!?”

There was heavy pounding at the side of the dragon, where Pizzazz could barely make out what once may have been a door.

“Well, like. Long story short, I like, may have pissed off my girlfriend and, like... she may have accidentally like locked me in here. ...I can't get out.”

 


	15. In The Belly of the Beast

"Are you alright? How can we unlock the door from out here?" Jem circled the dragon, trying to get a feel for the full exterior of it. "I'm just not seeing anything from out here..."

_Screw that, Jerrica. I just need to know if she can still control this thing alright! I'm not having my dragon be wasted just because of some drama that isn't even any of my business!_

"I'm like, fine. There's plenty of air, not much light." The high, squeaky valley girl voice reverberated out of the dragon's mouth. "If I squeeze up into here, I can still like, talk fine, for sure. Y'see, like, I designed this thing with like two drivers in mind, and the like, door? Yeah the door, like, requires two people to operate as well. And I'm, like, one person."

_Why the hell would you make anything that would take -two- people just to open?_

Jem stood on her toes and pulled herself up to the mouth of the dragon to peek inside.

“Trash, can you see me alright?”

“For sure! Like, it's funny, I almost made this throat like, larger. Y'know? But, like, that's life, totally. Sail a bee.”

Jem stared down at Pizzazz, shrugging as Clash, Video, Kimber, Techrat, and the remaining Misfits approached.

“Did that dragon just tell you to sail a bee?” Video asked. “I mean it's, well. It's impressive, but it really needs a more menacing voice than Trash's, don't you think? Something deep, menacing, something beastly.”

Pizzazz stomped her foot down and screamed “My dragon isn't supposed to talk! Not with anyone's voice! It's just supposed to spew fire!”

“Honey my arms are getting tired and it'd be great if you could just-”

“Huh? Oh, oh!” Pizzazz blushed and ducked under Jem. “Sorry, cotton candy, just... angry. Very... very angry. You can let go, I've got you!”

Her bandmates circled her as they watched Pizzazz catch Jem across her arms, holding her up like a baby and giving her a quick peck on the lips before putting her back down on the grass.

“Like a kitten indeed.” Jetta snarked. “That was downright adorable, wasn't it girls?”

Roxy did her best to stifle her laughter. “-Cotton candy-? Oh my god, Pizzazz. I didn't see you as the type!”

_I... fuck. FUCK! I called her that in public. I called her that in public!_

“I'm just... making fun of her hair! It's big! And pink! Like cotton candy!”

Jem nudged at Pizzazz's shoulder. “That's not true and you know it. You've been calling me cotton candy and I've been calling you green bean for almost three weeks now!”

“-Green bean-!?” Jetta squealed, then doubled over in laughter, landing hard on the ground. “Oh that's just rich, Pizz! Green bean!”

_I will burn all of you! Trash, I swear to god if this dragon won't work..._

“Uh, Pizzazz? Two questions... one, where do we get dressed? I mean this is just a big open field...” Stormer asked.

“The van, I guess. Why not? We've had to do it before in a pinch, there's just... more of us. We can take turns.”

“Alright, that's what I was thinking. But, uhm, the second question. ...Where do we get the things we get dressed in?”

_Well you get them from Trash's- ...oh for the love of..._

“Trash where the hell is our gear!?”

There were more thudding sounds back up the dragon's throat, then Trash's voice echoed out again, “Well, like, you see, like... the plan was this. I was going to like, get Eric and Techrat in this thing to help, and like, my girlfriend was going to carry all of the gear in her car, since like, you told me there'd be no room in the van, on account of what we'd done to Video's, right? Well, like, there was an problem.”

“You two had a fight and she locked you in there?!” Asked Jem, shouting up at the dragon's mouth.

“For sure. Well, sorta, not really. Like not at all, really. Her car is nice, and she didn't want to like, get it filthy with all of the gear, and we argued over it, and then that argument spun in a weird direction, and I like, you know how when you're leaving an argument you like, wanna slam the door?”

_...You locked yourself in there, you imbecile. You slammed the door shut behind you because you were losing an argument._

“Excuse me, can we go back a bit? What we did to Video's va-... ..this is my van. This is my van, isn't it? Constance Montgomery what on earth did you let them do to my van!?” Video screamed, running around the dragon, peeking underneath at the exposed parts of the van at the belly.

Blaze and Clash exchanged glances, Blaze giving a sigh and turning to look away from her partner in shame. Eventually Clash spoke up, “It's... I mean, we've put you through a lot, Blaze said we owed you, so I thought I'd-”

“So you thought you'd ruin my van for a music video, and then lie to me about it!? Yeah, wow, that's some gratitude you have there! I'm so glad I took you in when you needed it!”

“We're going to get you a new one! With my new job, I thought we could get you something better, since you're always whining about yours! It was Blaze's idea!”

Blaze turned back to Clash, frowning. “It was not! All I said is that we should help her get a new van as a surprise! I never said 'Hey let's give her current van over to some creepy Frankenstein lady!”

“Y'know I can like, hear you, right? Like, totally hear you up in here, and like, Video, I wanna say that I didn't know that like, you didn't consent to your vehicle's monsterization. I fully, like, totally apologize.” Echoed out from the dragon's steel maw.

_No, no, this is fine. This is -great-, Pizzazz. You don't have your gear, you don't have your armor, you don't have a princess because she's stuck inside of the dragon, and now the chick directing your video is fighting your sorceress. What next, my entire army gets wiped out by-... ...wait._

“Both of you, shut up! ...Where's my army?!”

Clash, Blaze, and Video paid her no mind as they continued their argument with the metallic dragon while Stormer, Roxy, and Jetta looked to each other for an answer.

“Was one of us supposed to handle that? Because that's not in my job description.” Roxy pointed towards Clash, “Isn't that like, her job now? It would've been a thing Eric would have handled, and she's the new Eric right?”

_And once again this all boils down to Eric's fault. Even when he's not here, he manages to cause problems! I can't get him out of my hair even when he's not in my hair! ...What's left of my hair._

“Clash! Where's my army!?”

Clash threw her hands up in the air, almost smacking Blaze in the face in the process. “I don't know! I haven't exactly been trained for any of this! You took us out to dinner and you gave me a job, that was half a month ago, I don't know what I'm doing!”

Pizzazz felt a tug at her arm and turned to find Jem with a concerned look.

“She has a point, Pizzazz. This was kind of a huge undertaking, maybe we should have consulted with Eric on this.”

_Oh come on, princess. Don't say that. I'm angry enough hearing that Trash wanted to put that creep inside of my dragon._

Pizzazz kicked at the dirt and screamed a few swears before stomping off in the opposite direction of the Misfits van, mumbling as many curses as she could think of as she made her way a good seventy feet away from her bandmates, towards the only visible pair of boulders in the park. She threw herself belly first onto the large of the two, a flat-topped light gray stone that stood a good two feet off the ground but was only just long enough to support her from head to toe.

_This is my home now. I'm just going to live on this rock. I can't be angry at anyone if I never leave this rock. I'm just going to perch here, and I'm going to be one with the park. Pizzazz the Park Witch they'll call me. No, no, might as well change my name again. I'll be Rocky. ...There's already a Rocky, Pizzazz. Way original. God I even argue with myself... rock, you've been no help at all. ...now you're going to argue with the rock. This wasn't a great plan, Pizzazz._

_Alright, alright, think this out... ...wait. Trash had a walkie-talkie, right? We can reach her friend with that, she could throw it out of the dragon's mouth. ...The note. Roxy had a note. Roxy had a fucking note from her and she didn't give it to me, she was too busy smooching Jetta over a damn sandwich... We can work this. I just... the army, what do I do with the army. I need to get the army, I need..._

“Green bean? Are you alright?”

_Yeah I guess I need you too. I need you and this rock. You're my family now. Rock family._

“Just peachy, princess. This is how I look when I'm happy, with my face mushed into a rock.”

Pizzazz felt Jem sit down next to her, her hand rubbing at the small of her back through her dress. “It's going to be alright, Pizzazz. I mean both of our bands have survived through worse and still made do, right?”

“Yeah, no, this is so fine. We don't have our extras, our princess is literally stuck inside the dragon, we need to get that walkie-talkie from her to try to track down her girlfriend so we can get our gear back... and this boulder is far, far tinier than I told Eric we needed.” Pizzazz flipped onto her back, staring up at the cloudless sky above with a grimace. “Between the two of them, we can all stand with our instruments but Roxy's drum set is just going to have to go... somewhere. I don't know, somewhere else. These are pathetic boulders.”

_I guess we put Jetta in front... it seems weird having a drummer be in front. Has anyone even done that? ...I guess you can be a trendsetter at least, Pizz. That's a plus. If this works out, you can take credit for a whole new thing._

“I know how we can get the extras, at least. I just need to borrow your cellphone. While I do that, maybe you can talk Trash into giving over the walkie-talkie, because she's not really cooperating with anyone right now.”

_What the hell do you mean she's not cooperating? It's just... it's just a walkie-talkie! The hell is the matter?_

“It's... it's in the van, it should be back in my seat. I trust you, princess. Whatever you're doing to do... I trust you, okay?”

Jem smiled and tenderly placed a kiss on Pizzazz's lips. “I know you do, and I'm glad. You won't regret this, Pizz.”

_I really hope I don't, princess. ...princess. Who is going to be our princess now? I can't get you to do it, you're going to be too busy with your side of things to help with the live show._

Pizzazz slowly pulled herself up off the rock and trudged her way back across the field to the angry group encircling the beast of bolts and plating. Video had made her way back to the van, Clash was holding Blaze up to speak into the dragon's mouth, Kimber and Stormer had taken to sitting down in the grass and chatting happily together, while Roxy and Jetta seemed to be busying themselves harassing Techrat.

“What exactly is the problem here?” _And whose ass do I have to kick to solve it?_

“Trash doesn't want to talk to the other person right now, and she refuses to give us the walkie-talkie to talk to her instead.” Blaze sighed.

_Alright then, I need to kick -Trash's- ass. ...how to shove my foot up a dragon's ass..._

“It's just, like, complicated, y'know? It's totally complicated. Can't we just, like, wait and see if she gets here herself? Everything will be okay if we just, like, wait it out, right I'm sure she'll be like, here, eventually. For sure."

Pizzazz gestured for Blaze to step down off Clash's shoulders, then without warning climbed up top of Clash herself, gripping hold of the dragons fangs for support as her manager squirmed awkwardly beneath her.

“Traaaash... my friend, let's speak. I'm going to give you a total of thirty seconds to toss the walkie-talkie across the tongue and over to me. Do you want to know what's going to happen if you don't do that? I'm going to grab a hose, and I'm doing to slide that hose all the way down this thing's throat, and I'm going to pump it full of water. Do you want that, Trash? Do you want to find out how long you can hold your breath?” Her voice was as sickeningly sweet as she could force it to be as she stared down the dragon's throat at the reflecting pinks of Trash's eyes.

“But, like, I mean the issue is, like...”

“Twenty nine... twenty eight... twenty seven... twenty six...”

Pizzazz could just barely make out the look of panic that covered Trash's face.

“Alright! Alright! For the love of god alright!” Trash shouted, her valley girl voice all but gone, to Pizzazz's surprise. “Please! Just... okay, confession. Uhm, when I said she was my girlfriend? Well, in my dreams, I guess. I was actually going to come out to her today, but that didn't go over so well, because she also maybe didn't know about my whole... living situation until now either. So, that's not... that's not going so great, yeah?”

“...You mean you can just, talk like a normal person?!” Clash shouted from underneath Pizzazz.

“Oh. ...yeah. Honestly I just feign the valley girl thing because it's how she sounds and she seemed to like that I talked the same way, so I've been pretending that's how I speak for the last seven months now. I should... like. Swap back to that, yeah, like. But... please keep all that I told you in mind, like. When you talk to her, alright?”

_I... fuck and I thought I was pathetic with how I handled my feelings for Jerrica._

“Fine, whatever, I don't care. Just... give me the walkie-talkie. Also what was on that note you left on the fridge? ...Roxy, do you still have that note!?”

Before Pizzazz could get a response, something big and heavy collided with her nose, right over the bandage and hard covering, knocking her flat off Clash's shoulders and onto the ground below.

“Like... sorry! I threw it as hard as I could to make sure it wouldn't, like, get caught in its throat!”

 

 

 

“Pizz? Earth to Pizz, are you alright?”

_Roxy, I swear on the amount of hate I have for everyone else at this very moment, if you ask another stupid question like that I'm going to force you down that dragon's throat. Then I won't have to worry about staging anymore now, will I?_

“The world really has it in for her nose this week, it's pretty outrageous.”

Pizzazz squinted hard up at Kimber, then back over to Roxy, her eyes clearing up as she finally made out the other band members standing over her in a circle.

“How long was I out?”

Roxy shrugged. “Five? Maybe ten? You took that walkie-talkie pretty hard, Pizz. Rat guy thought you died.”

_I -feel- like I died... holy fucking hell my face. Everything about my face hurts._

“We need to get you cleaned up before Jem sees you, she's still on the phone in the van and I know she's going to freak out majorly if she sees all of that blood.” Kimber knelt down in the grass, a small wad of tissues in her hand. “This is going to hurt, alright?”

_What do you mean all of the blood? How much blood is there? Is something wrong with my fa-_

“FUCKING GLAMOUR!” Pizzazz screamed out as Kimber pressed the tissues under her nose and began roughly rubbing them into the skin.

“Why... y'know what, no, Jem said not to ask, I'm not going to ask. I'm better off not knowing. Stormer, don't tell me.”

Stormer shrugged at Kimber. “I don't even know, and I generally know these things.”

“Just... ...just give me the walkie-talkie. ...What about the note? Roxy, was there anything important on the note?”

Pizzazz forced Kimber away as she pulled herself back up to the ground, wiping the remaining blood off her face with her hands as best as she could. _If she asks, it's makeup. Battle makeup. ...yes. Battle makeup._ With a devious smile she ran her fingers across the faces of both Stormer and Jetta, getting a few blood streaks across them as well.

“Now we look like we're ready for battle, and she'll never suspect anything is wrong.”

Jetta's face turned queasy, “...Did you just seriously rub your blood into my face!?”

_We're blood sisters now, Jetta. Accept it. Unless you'd prefer I bloody your face in a whole other way..._

“I can't find the note, but Trash said it was super important but not important for us, just that I was supposed to give it to her to give to the other person. Techrat has the sheet with the instructions on how to control the dragon from the outside, at least. So we just need to get the controller from Trash's friend, yeah?”

_Alright, so I just need the walkie-talkie. That's fantastic. I wonder what Jerrica's doing to get me my army, though... maybe she's finally going to share Synergy with the Misfits. ...maybe I won't have to go through with unveiling her myself._

“Actually, Pizzazz, what I have are directions from Eric's to this very park.” Techrat handed her a crumpled up note, sloppily written in the messiest handwriting Pizzazz had seen since Roxy's failed attempt at a grocery list. “I have an idea as to why this is, but I'm scared to say what.”

_Why the hell would she give you directions? She knew we'd be picking you up, the only person that would need directions is..._

“Trash you imbecile! You gave Techrat the directions, not your friend!” Pizzazz screamed up towards the dragon's mouth. “Didn't you!?”

The dragon was silent.

“Well, that's just great... just... great. No wonder she isn't here. We just have to hope she's in range of this thing, don't we? ...where -is- the walkie-talkie? Where are Clash and Video!?” Pizzazz looked around her, only just noticing that the two were missing. “They didn't kill each other, did they? Nobody else is in the hospital, right!?”

Blaze scratched at the back of her head nervously. “They're... they'll be okay. ...eventually. Video's over by the rocks getting set up. Clash has the walkie-talkie and has been went out of earshot of Trash shortly after you got konked. I think she's hiding behind the van?”

“I'm guessing that's why our dragon is suddenly a lot less chatty. Can you go get her? I need to let this person know just what is going to happen to them if they aren't here in the next half hour. ...Techrat, how tall are you?”

As Blaze scampered off to the van, Techrat looked down at his shoes and gave a shrug. “Around six foot? ...Why do you ask?”

_Well, Techrat, as you can see my princess is in a dragon. You're the only one here besides Clash that comes even close to Trash's height, and you have the same build... Very similar bodies, really. This could work. We can just swap her back in for the live show and nobody will be the wiser._

“You are going to be our replacement princess. Just for this video. Your job is to stand there off to the side, tied up, and then get rescued. Got that!? If I hear a single word of complaint out of you I swear I'll-” Pizzazz made a strangling gesture in his direction.

“Don't touch me! ...I'll do it, just, you stay away from me.”

_Well, that was easier than expected. ...I wonder if I'm the first one to yell at him to put on a dress. I think I'll sleep easier not knowing what all Eric does in his free time._

“Trash! ...Trash, I know you can hear me. Where is the dress? The princess dress, we need it, and I swear if you've somehow misplaced that too I am going to light a fire under this dragon and turn it into a brazen bull as payback for badly you've already hindered all of thi-” Pizzazz was cutoff by something big and heavy just narrowly missing her face as it plummeted from out of the dragon's mouth.

“Like, you don't have to threaten me any more, y'know! I'm like, not doing so hot. But also like, I'm cold as hell, so if someone could like, toss me something else I can wear that'd be great like. For sure. That dress was like all that I had with me, like.” The valley girl's voice was raspier sounding, more broken as it squeaked from out of the dragon. “Frankly, like, I regret many of my design decisions, totally.”

_...Is my dragon crying? My dragon is crying. Great. You've slain the beast, Pizzazz. From now on you'll be remembered as Lady Gabor: Dragondepresser._

“I've never seen someone get talked out of their clothes so easily. Is that what it was like with Jem, then? Did you just stand in her doorway and demand her dress, like some kind of gay terminator?” Roxy knelt down and examined the frilly pink princess dress on the ground, finding it wrapped tightly around one of Trash's heeled boots for weight.

_Actually she got me naked first... ...twice, I guess. Come to think of it, she even mocked me for it the first time! ...this is not the time to dwell on that, Pizzazz. It's all worked out, even if it wasn't how you would have preferred it or imagined it. Sure, you're not exactly the one in charge, but..._

“Pretty much, I demanded and Jem did what she was told.” Pizzazz smirked, lying through her teeth.

Kimber rolled her eyes. “Yeah, says the one who was handcuffed to the bed this morning when I went to get you both up.”

Roxy covered her mouth as a loud mix of a laugh and a squeal exploded out of her, Jetta doubled over laughing, balancing herself with her hands at her knees as tears formed around her eyes.

“Oh that's just... oh bloody hell, ducky, you've got it bad! Stormer wasn't lying about the collar thing!”

Pizzazz blushed, then without thinking pushed Jetta backwards. “It... it was a misunderstanding! Who just... who just gives someone a collar!? I was just... I was being polite! It was a gift!”

Jetta kept laughing as she hit the grass ass first, choking out “Whatever you say, love” as best as she could.

“It's not like I asked her to get me a leash or anything! It was just... normal people wear collars!” Pizzazz screamed, flailing her hands up in the air.

“Uhm... ...sweetie?” Pizzazz's ears perked up as she heard Jem's voice from behind her. Anxiously she turned around to find herself face to face with a very large video camera being pointed at her, with Jem off to one side and one very, very surprised looking Lin-Z to the other. “I uhm... ...I thought we could get Lin-Z in here for an interview, and she would... ...she would call attention for anyone that wanted to be part of the video to come down there.”

_...Excellent. That's... ...that's..._

“Is that... is that on?”

Lin-Z's camera man gave a slight nod.

“I... ...we're... talking about... pets. I have.... I have a cat now. Hi name is Madmartigan. ...I wanted to take him for walks.”

_How can this day get any worse, Pizzazz? Hell, just start talking about your sex life for the camera. Just get it all over with, then curl up and die in the dragon with Trash._

 

 

 

“So, Pizzazz, Jem tells us that you're filming for a big fantasy inspired sequence, right? That is... my that is a really impressive dragon.” Lin-Z brushed her hand along the underside of its left wing. “I can only imagine how much this thing must weigh, was it difficult to get it here?”

_Collect yourself, Pizzazz. You're on live TV, think your answers through before you say them, you can do this._

“Yeah, basically this is going to be one big Dungeons & Dragons session, on video. We're all going to get armor on once our... ...assistant blacksmith... arrives. We're trying to reach her now.” Pizzazz gave a quick look around, hoping to see Blaze or Clash. “But I don't really know how that's going at the moment, so there might be a slight delay.”

Lin-Z smiled. “Well hey, if they're musically inclined they're probably watching my show right now, wanna shout out a message for them?”

_Can I threaten someone's life on air? How far can I go on live TV, Lin-Z?_

“Like, I've got a message, if it's like, okay?” Trash's squeaky voice echoed once more out of the dragon's mouth, startling both Lin-Z and her cameraman.

“Oh my! Your dragon talks too!? Oh this is just amazing... ooh, mister dragon, what message do you have for my audience right now!?” Lin-Z pointed her microphone up towards the steel jaw, smiling all the while at the bizarre spectacle before her.

_Oh no, no, no. Don't do that, Lin-Z. Nothing good can come from that thing!_

“Like, Graphix? I'm sorry. I should have like, been up front with you. Like... the reason you never see my place is that I've been squatting, yeah. Like, I mean. I'm basically a cave dweller, and you've got your pretty little castle like basically, and like. You're out of my league. ...and I'm kinda, like. Pretty queer for you. Like, truly, totally, I am as gay as gay can be, for you. Like, this isn't even how I normally talk. I just like, started talking like you do because you seemed to like, like that. I'm like, actually Irish. I grew up in like, a farming town? And like. That's the gist of it. I'm like, gay and sorry, and Pizzazz needs her like, armor. And I need clothes, because like I'm freezing and I'm sitting bare ass on a metal bar here because I had to use the leather interior for wardrobe work...”

Pizzazz slapped her hand against her forehead hard, wanting to bury her face and cry as Lin-Z started slack-jawed up at her metallic interviewee. Jetta restrained a laugh as she turned to hug her partner tight, burying her face between her breasts to stifle herself as best as she could. Stormer stared up, a face full of delight and giddiness, while Kimber just seemed to be soaking in Pizzazz's misery.

_Just... just shoot me now, Kimber. Do it quick. Do it painlessly. Just do it._

“I... ...well. ...Harriet gets gay pop stars, I get a gay dragon... I mean at least nobody else can say that! Remember folks, tune in to Lin-Z TV, where the mythical are not only alive, but are gay and self conscious about their dwellings.” She lowered her mic back down to Pizzazz. “So, any words out there for the broader audience, regarding your army?”

_A deep breath, Pizzazz. You can fix this, you can fix all of this. Rally your army. Rally. Your. Army. ...Carpe roseam. Carpe. Roseam._

“If you're a Misfits fan, in the Santa Monica area, we need you to do your part. No matter what shape you're in, male or female, young or old, if you can hold a shield and a weapon you're fit for the Misfits Army. This is a once in a life time opportunity to take part in a music video for the greatest band of the decade, and you'll regret it if you miss it! Help me, Pizzazz, slay a dragon and save a princess!”

Lin-Z turned the mic towards Jem, “And Jem, what is your involvement in this project? Are you the princess that needs to be saved?”

“Oh, no, no. I'm just, I'm just here for her. Pizzazz is there for me now when I'm working, I'm there for her when she's working. We support each other, right?” Jem smiled and threw an arm around her blushing green-haired girlfriend.

“...Right. Also inspiration. I couldn't have gotten any of this off the ground if it wasn't for her, I guess. I think this is going to end up being my greatest work.”

Lin-Z clasped her hands together around the mic, beaming with joy. “See, come on down, folks. Love is in the air, be you human or dragon. ...Oh, looks like we've got a few more here! I remember you, you're-”

“Clash, just Clash. I'm the new manager for the band, replacing Eric Raymond. This is my lovely girlfriend Blaze, who has recently joined as a guitarist.” Blaze bowed her head slightly and smiled. “But, this...”

Pizzazz turned to where Clash had gestured. An irritated woman around Blaze's age and height stood in a tight pair of white leggings and a matching long sleeve top adorned in various colorful geometric shapes, with bright red latex boots and a short latex skirt to match them. Her big, poofed out, overly-teased and sprayed blonde hair, with random streaks of red, green, and yellow, partially obscured various yellow, purple, green, and red shapes painted onto her face.

“So, like, Bee-babe. Wild shot in the dark here, correct me if I'm wrong, but like, I'm assuming the note you meant to give me was going to have like, directions on it? Maybe like, to get here?” Her voice was loud, shrill, and bossy, but still drenched in the same valley girl tone that Trash had been using. “Probably not, say, like, a letter to to Clash requesting help coming out? ...Especially not, like, a letter that manages to spell my name wrong twice?”

_...So you're the one with my equipment. ..Wait a second, the letter we were supposed to get from Roxy was just supposed to go to Clash!?_

“You, are you the one with-”

She put her hand over Pizzazz's mouth. “Yeah, yeah, your gear's in my car. I was always more of a Stingers fan girl anyway, but here I am. ...Bee. Talk to me here.”

_Did you just... WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? I have more talent in my index finger than the combined efforts of The Stingers!_

“Like, yeah. I'm kinda like, stuck in here. I'm not lying about that one at least, like. Slamming the door was pretty dumb, like. ...how much of what I said did you like, hear?”

“Yeah I've actually been here since like two minutes before you started talking. Clash and Blaze here got through to me while I was lost, I went to the wrong park... I came back around to Eric's place but I couldn't find him, so... ...Anything else you've been lying to me about all this time?”

_I don't need this. I just need my gear. I just need the armor, the weapons, and the other wardrobe bits... that's all I need, then you two can kill each other or whatever you're going to do. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care..._

“I've been broke for like, ever. My parents were like, migrants from Ireland. I actually like it whenever you make boy jokes about it and I'm not sure why. I've never once had a hot punky boyfriend, but I did date Clash and I had a one night stand with Pizzazz, during which I might have cried, it was awkward. Also I don't wear lipstick usually I just like it when you let me use yours...”

Lin-Z cleared her throat. “The camera is, in fact, still rolling.”

_...well, thank you, Trash. I don't think I'm going to have anything resembling a reputation after this. You've just given it a mercy killing._

“In that case, like... Bee. You can't like, see me right now, so I need you to trust me on like, all of this. I love you, you weirdo. Do you really think I had like, no idea you were gay? Babe, any time I tried to watch fashion shows with you I felt like I had to clean the drool off your face, and I -know- it wasn't style appreciation so don't you even lie. I just thought that I like, wasn't your type! So, just like... get the hell out of there and be my damn girlfriend already, so I can stop hanging out with these losers!”

There was a silence for a moment, then Trash's squeaky voice echoed out from the dragon's mouth again, “I love you too, Gwen. Totally.”

“Well, there you have it... Misfits find love, Holograms find love, metal creatures find love, come on down to the park and maybe you will too?” Lin-Z then signaled to cut the feed. “Well that... that was certainly an interesting show... ...is there really someone trapped in there, then? I thought you guys were just pranking me. Should we call the fire department or something?

There was a loud banging at the dragon's throat. “No! No no no, don't hurt it! I'll be, like, fine, for sure,... we need to finish filming first, then I can , like, just blow torch my way out. I do in fact have a blow torch in here with me. ...well. ...actually...”

“Actually I have the blow torch in my car, can I just, like, shove it down your throat then? ...The dragon's throat, I mean. Not, like... yeah y'know I'm just gonna go grab stuff from the car. You Misfits wanna help? Or just stand around gaping all day at what a superior sense of fashion looks like?”

_Trash, I'm going to kill your girlfriend. I'm sorry, but it's going to have to happen. How about we tie her up after we untie Techrat, and then the dragon burns her?_

“See, green bean? Everything's turning out alright. I knew things would be okay in the end. Lin-Z's helping us draw a crowd, Trash has an escape plan, you have your gear... ..is your nose bleeding again? Let me take a look at-”

“It's fine! I just, bumped it is all. It won't be noticeable once I get my helmet on. I just... took a walkie-talkie to the face by accident when we were trying to get it out of the dragon.”

Jem pouted, then kissed at Pizzazz's forehead. “The world really has something against your nose, doesn't it? It's such a cute nose, too.”

Pizzazz blushed even deeper. “I... ..let's... let's grab the equipment.”

“So, like, what, is this just one big gay project then? That's actually actually pretty awesome, we'll be on the cutting edge! Gay pop stars unite for a hybrid of fantasy and new wave!”

“I think like everyone here but Lin-Z and Video are, like pretty gay. And honestly, like, I have my doubts on Lin-Z.” Said Trash.

Lin-Z cleared her throat yet again. “I'm actually still here, you know.”

“...Oh. ...Hiiii Lin-Z. I'm, like, a big fan, for sure. I swear, I meant that in like, the nicest way possible. They were nice doubts! Happy doubts!”

Lin-Z rolled her eyes and motioned for her camera guy to pack up. “I'm ducking out of here before that dragon of yours says anything else. If you need help slaying it, you know my number.”

“Oh, trust me, I'm going to want that pleasure all to myself.” Pizzazz grimaced. _At least nothing else can go wrong... Knock on wood. ...that's steel, Pizzazz, don't knock on steel._

“So, here's a question. Where is Roxy's drum set going to go?” Jetta peeked off to the side of the dragon, staring over at Video's equipment over by the rocks. “Do we just prop her up on the rocks and perform around her?”

_But I wanted to be on the rocks! That was the dream! All of us, standing atop the boulders, several feet in the air, surrounded by an army of... ...fuck it._

“Yeah, I guess. I think we could fit her on one boulder, you and Blaze on the other, and then me and Stormer will take the ground up front. Wish we had time to get a little stage up...”

_Probably should have scouted the location first... I guess this is just a lesson to learn. Won't make this mistake next time... ...if there is a next time. Will this be my last music video with The Misfits? Is it just going to be me and Jem doing this act together after all of this is done and the tour has ended? ...I guess I just need to try to stop worrying and just accept whatever happens, happens. It's... it's all worked out so far, I guess._

_...Like the dragon said, sail a bee._

 


End file.
